There is something special about the process. It is yours. It is ongoing. It is present. It is ever. It is, always. It is… - Dr. Felicia Gangloff-Bailey Felicia and Karega have come to view September very differently. As they come to year four without their daughter Kamaiu Sol Bailey earthside with them, the reality of the time and conditions in which grief exist become ever more present. While Felicia still wrestles with the process and how different the years look as they change, Karega has excepted the month of September of one of Miracles and Wonder. Listen in as they co-discover how time has changed how they move in the world and how they honor their first born.

Just Because Someone is Grown, Doesn't Mean They're Growing. One more time. Just Because Someone is Grown, Doesn't Mean They're Growing.  That is the challenge Felicia has found herself in with her mother, and Karega has found himself in with a loved one. In reality, we all have found ourselves presented with the challenge of loving someone who isn't necessarily on the same trajectory of growth, wellness, or knowing as you. It is in this moment of investigation that we all join Karega & Felicia as we work through just how to hold and make space for those who challenge our growth.

After a clip of Felicia sharing a story about Kamali and Kamaiu goes viral, she takes a moment to reflect in the power of what vulnerability and the ability to share her truth does for her healing process. Sharing amongst community give us the opportunity to not only grieve, but to build, to reflect, to hope, and to love.

Sometimes you need to reframe the reframe, and that lesson comes bright and early on a Monday. For Felicia it came in the form of comparison. We all have those moments when we wonder why we aren't where that other person is, EVEN if it's someone we love dearly. It is when we sit in those feelings and those thoughts that we are given the opportunity to process and move forward in them and find who we are. Is it just comparison? Is it a different form a grief? Is it all of the above and more?

In potty training Kamali, Felicia and Karega find new knowings in the concept of "being stubborn" and how one learns. How often do we, as a society, dismiss stubborn children or stubborn people as not knowing or not learning just because they are not doing things with the ease or expectation that we would like them to?

How does one process the loss of someone who still had so much more to tell? Of a loss that feels too soon? Karega asks this as he processes the loss of one of his former students from DC, Troy, to gun violence. Troy, like so many of Karega's students, taught Karega just as much as he taught them. There was so much more to them than people were willing to see or understand, but Troy was able to communicate it all through poetry. Poetry that sits with and influences Karega to this day unfortunately now, through his absence.

Where does wellness stand at the intersection of Hope and Hopelessness? It's what helps you move forward. Today, Karega and Felicia discuss the the wholeness of wellness. What it means, where it has found them in their journey of grief, and for Karega, why it is fundamental to him connecting with other men in their journey with not only grief, but in healing. Wellness is the New Genre.

As Felicia reflects on her now 36th birthday, she recalls what the past few birthdays have looked like even as she has shared this space with you all. The changes that are naturally occurring in life have made their way and even the moments of celebration look different. While discussing that moment, allows to Karega reflect on a trip back east that he took with his father just before his dad's 70th birthday. It all lends itself to the question of how do the processes of life change our outlook on love, growth, life and celebration?

An old school Gospel playlist (not super old-school, we're talking early 2000s) has Felicia and Karega honing in on the many facets of gratitude. What does gratitude look like and how does it change as we change? What is it like to find our way BACK TO GRATITUDE when we feel like there has been absolutely nothing to be grateful for?

Kamali has hit her tremendous 2s in full force and are CHALLENGING Karega and Felicia. Yes, we are fully aware she is a toddler, hence the challenge AND where this conversation meets us. What does one do with the frustration that comes with handling the challenges that come our way and in how does CONTROL play into the situation? While Karega and Felicia frame this conversation in the scope of parenthood, you do not need to be a parent to pick up these gems!

Celebration in grief looks different. Celebration after grief looks different. Celebration after milestones looks different. What it all shows us is that there is no one way to celebrate, and that our differences are not deficits. As Felicia recounts how a birthday celebration with her long time friend looks different know than it did when they first started celebrating birthdays over a decade ago, it allows space for all of us to take a moment and reflect on not only the necessity of joy, but the specialness of Black sisterhood.

Practicing Love. Sit with that statement for a second. How often do we treat love as a practice or a philosophy? Do we realize that love, as with all things, changes and grows? That it requires us to study, and practice it? That it will test us? Push us? Today Karega and Felicia discuss moments that have challenged their practice of love, BUT have also allowed for a sort of mastery of certain facets of it. Even as it changes and grows, continuing to PRACTICE LOVE allows us to grow in love.

"Everything I am feeling in my grief is normal. Acknowledging these emotions is the ongoing process of healing." Today Felicia and Karega share about another loss and how they are feeling as they navigate this new grief. What lessons have they learned not only from Kamaiu, but from other losses that allow them to keep growing, to keep moving, and to keep walking in faith? How does comparison weigh so heavy while looking at one's own journey? There are no set answers. We ask you to join us in reflection as we all try to better understand the process behind the creation of the conditions to acknowledge our grief.

Felicia did not make it to the gym today. She was dressed for the gym. She had planned on going to the gym, was ready will and able, but it didn't happen. She did, however, make it to the store. It was while she at the store she had a chance run in with a man who she had never met. It was through conversation with him, that she found out that they shared something in common: the loss of a daughter. Through this conversation, Felicia realizes how much healing comes from speaking about Kamaiu, and Karega helps frame the experience through his experiences of loss and healing.

Finding joy, finding motivation, finding connection is fundamental to our existence. Both Karega and Felicia have been trying to find that balance of joy outside of the work they do daily. However, the music keeps pulling them in. Listen in as the couple describes how music, and specifically OUR music, has shaped their connection to self, and community. PLUS how it contributes to their practice of wellness.

Oftentimes, we find ourselves trying to piece together the pieces of ourselves. These pieces become more apparent when we see them reflected back at us through our children. Today, Felicia has her Mommy sitting in with her in reflection of not only her journey as a mother, but in parenting. How do all these pieces fall together, and what does the journey look like from the perspective of the person who gave you life? What do you see now that you are dealing with the tiny reflection of yourself? It is a beautiful conversation of gratitude, perseverance, and hope.

Grief can manifest itself in a many ways, especially when someone is taken from us too soon. Today, Karega and Felicia discuss how they spent their weekend with mothers who have lost their children too soon. What they discovered is that these strong black women, who have experienced such tragedies, still find a reason to be joyous even though they carry such pain everyday. Karega speaks on how he is in awe of these mothers, including his very own wife, because of the strength they have shown through so much adversity. He realizes that grief doesn't only have to be a weight around your neck, but can also be the very thing that saves you.

We all know that nothing lasts forever but, for a 2 year old like Kamali, you have nothing but time. Today Karega and Felicia discuss their recent trip with Kamali to Atlanta to visit close friends. While traveling, Karega experienced a series of moments with Kamali that caused him to reflect on the fact that even though Kamaili is only two, there are things, as she gets older and matures, that she won't ask him or Felicia to do any more. The great thing about Kamali, even though she is growing everyday, she always finds ways to bring Karega and Felicia in the present to remind them that while time doesn't stop, being present in the moment allows them to appreciate those times before they are gone.

Your thoughts and self talk can have very powerful effects on your mental and spiritual health. Karega and Felicia both reflect on what it means to slow down and take time for themselves. Karega, more specifically, speaks on how important it is to not only take care of his physical well being but his spiritual well being so he can be there for Felica, Kamali and others. Felicia and Karega also chat about motivating each other and how they can look to their community for inspiration in order to make sure they are feeding the mind, body and spirit.

The heavy rainy season has Karega thinking about seasons, restarts, harvests and what growth should look like. To go even deeper, what he thought his growth should look like after everything he went through. Seeds and fruit and even the trees have shown him that growth does not look the same and neither does our growth. Especially our growth through grief. Having patience for ourselves is key as we do not all grow the same way.