In this episode, Minister Shauntai Burke, author of "Broken Glass Still Reflects Light, bares it all – from the heartbreaks and disappointments in failed relationships to the struggles with sexual purity. Together, we'll discuss the invaluable lessons God taught Shauntai, paving the way for her healing and transformation. 🙌💖

Smart, Fabulous & Single is dedicated to empowering single ladies to become the best versions of themselves, preparing us for successful singleness and, ultimately, for a fulfilling marriage. 💍

Make sure to follow us on Instagram, and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.

Don't keep this episode to yourself! Share, share, share. I can't wait to connect with you all!

#SmartFabulousandSingle #FromBrokenToBlessed #HealingJourney #ChristianPodcast #FaboulousFridays #LiveOnInstagram

In this exciting installment, we'll be delving into the topic of 'What To Do While You Wait.' Pastor Marsha Wade will be opening up about her experiences, and sharing valuable insights on how God positioned her for marriage because of her obedience in the wait. 😇

If you're ready for tips, motivation, prayer, hearing God's heart towards you, or simply a fantastic community of like-minded individuals, hit that follow button and become part of the Smart, Fabulous & Single community hosted by Dr. Trish! 💁‍♀💖

Spread the word to your fabulous friends, because our podcast episodes promise to be unforgettable and life-transforming. 🎤

#FabulousFridays #SmartFabulousAndSingle #ChristianPodcast #SuccessfullySingle #LiveOnInstagram

Producer’s Pick is a bonus episode. In it we dissect the line of a movie, song, quote, social media post, Scripture, or topic you suggest.

Episode Summary

In today's episode we go behind the scenes with Pastor Buddy Walker who discusses how to prepare for marriage, becoming the right pick, the importance of contentment and more! Listen to the full episode and if you missed his previous episodes on Love After Divorce, listen to Ep# 56 & 57.

Key Takeaways

• Some persons make wedding plans without truly assessing whether they are ready to be married or are suited for each other (2:52)
• God has given women a certain wisdom that men need to respect and as women we need to ensure that this respect is there before we head into marriage (10:00)
• Begin to evaluate the health of the relationship before you decide to go into the romantic stage of the relationship. Because you don't want to become romantically involved in a relationship that's not healthy (13:07)
• It is important to be content because it helps you to make wise decisions and avoid foolish mistakes (14:36)
• Commitment (covenant) comes from the heart of God (25:05)
• The man is the head of the wife. This isn't about domination or rulership but about him taking responsibility and putting his wife's well being and that of his children first (28:15) 

Top Quotes

• If anyone truly is ready for marriage, there's a learning curve. As you well know, there are things you will not understand or grow into until you're actually in the relationship but doing our very best to enter with wisdom and maturity, realistic expectations (3:22)
• I don't want to imply that you're going to find a person that is perfect in every way...But if the young woman takes it on herself, that she's going to be the reformer or the transformer...the dynamics of the relationship will change (7:51)
• He (God) chose marriage as a means of helping us to fully grow into the potential that He has given to us. And someone who says, It's not good for a man to be alone, it could mean that there's going to be a deficiency in that man's life, without the input from a loving spouse (11:23)
• My wife is a woman of great wisdom. And she doesn't try to control me. She doesn't try to mold me into what she wants me to be. But she speaks into my life and I value her perspectives on things that she can say to me (12:42)
• Be careful about being too desperate. You know, being able to be content. In whatever state you find yourself if you're single, being able to be content in that state, because when you're content, then you're not going to make foolish impulse (14:36)
• If you're single, you can totally give yourself to serving the Lord without distraction. It's better to stay single...unless...You are both radically and totally committed to serving Christ with your whole life...You can do more together than what you could do by yourself. And there is no distraction because you're in it together (21:50)

Resources

• Scriptures: Matthew 19:5, Proverbs 1:20, Ephesians 5:23

Stay Connected

Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube.

Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Today I’m speaking with our expert about this week’s topic. It’s practical. It hits all the hard places, and offers tips and solutions to help us move to the next level.

Episode Summary

In Part 2 of this 2 part interview with Pastor Buddy Walker of Faith Christian Fellowship Tavares Florida and Director of Empower School and Farm, he describes how he met his current wife, the steps he took to test the relationship to ensure this was right, and how his ex wife later became a friend to his new wife. 

Key Takeaways

• If we seek God about the challenges in our marriage, He will reveal when a marriage should be considered over. He will release us (3:28)
• Marriage is about coming together with someone who will help us to become the person that God intended for us to be (6:18) 
• It's important when preparing to meet someone to get to know that person, their perspectives on things and if these line up with Biblical principles and with who you are (12:32)
• It's important to seek pastoral counsel when making significant decisions generally and re remarrying including to avoid rebounding (15:27)
• Find ways to assess whether this person is a Christian, shares your Christian values and has truly committed his life to Christ. That the person is very sincere and that there are no warnings as far as proceeding in development of the relationship (17:26)

Top Quotes

• I wanted to be certain that in God's eyes I was divorced, legally....did God want me to still hold out hope that somehow our marriage would be still restored or was it truly that that marriage even in God's eyes had ended? (1:13)
• When he said, It's not good for man to be alone, He was actually referring to something more than just loneliness or a need for affection. That He was talking about inner life growth. He was talking also about wholeness (5:59)
• I believe what I saw in her eyes was mercy and compassion (10:25)
• She told me that she had totally committed her life to Christ and that she was at a stage in her life that that was very important. And that she was not interested in starting a relationship with someone who professes to be a Christian and yet wanting to live worldly (11:54)
• People that knew me, were praying for me interceding for me, both from my church, and also other pastors (16:28)
• One of the programs that we went through was a marriage compatibility profile where we did a series of assessments and it involved a lot of things her family history, my family history, our education, our birth order...and then it rated our compatibility, our strong points and then our potential growth areas (18:43)
• I could not reverse the breakup of the marriage but I could look for God to bring something good out of what was meant for destruction (26:21)

Resources

• Scriptures: John 4:1-28, 1 Corinthians 7:1-11, Genesis 2:18 

Stay Connected

Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube.

Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Today I’m speaking with our expert about this week’s topic. It’s practical. It hits all the hard places, and offers tips and solutions to help us move to the next level.

Episode Summary

In Part 1 of this interview with Pastor Buddy Walker of Faith Christian Fellowship Tavares Florida and Director of Empower School and Farm, he describes his own story of divorce and shares nuggets he learned along the way. 

Key Takeaways

• God hates divorce but he loves divorcees (2:41)
• When we don't deal with the hurts from our past they can destroy our future relationships/marriage (6:05)
• When we take all the blame we're saying the other person is the victim. This leaves the door open to unresolved issues (11:53)
• Taking all the blame isn't the same as forgiving the other person (12:42)
• A marriage or relationship can only truly be restored if the individual has repented and repentance is a choice (17:30)

Top Quotes

• Initially, the effect that the infidelity had on me was I felt great shame, and a lot of guilt. I...put all of the blame on myself, that if I had been a better husband, if I had been more attentive, if I had devoted more time, she would not have made the choices that she made (11:16)
• God helped me to identify the areas that I needed to repent of and, with his help, make changes in...Then to recognize there was sin on her side also and that she needed to acknowledge that sin and that I needed to be able to extend God's forgiveness towards her (13:15)
• It's so important when you've been through the trauma of a divorce to to really spend time with the Lord, allowing him to heal your heart, allowing him to direct you on how to respond (19:51)
• Another thing that I felt like the Lord directed me in was to show mercy. Not not being there to support wrong decisions but not to be vengeful in any way. Not to do anything to try to make her pay a price for what had happened (21:21)
• I began to realize that my pain was connected with my feelings for her and that something had to change. And there came a point where I asked the Lord to take away those feelings of wanting to be with her...That prayer got answered (22:31)
• The word divorce is used in the Bible and I had one leader say to me, "that word is in the Bible because God Himself put it there and recognizes that a marriage can be broken to the point that it's irreconcilable" (29:17)
• God can heal a marriage from infidelity, but do not ever underestimate the power of infidelity to end your marriage permanently (29:53)

Resources

• Scripture: Malachi 2:16, 1 Corinthians 14:25

Stay Connected

Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube.

Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Today I'm going into The Chat Room where women from around the world join me in my virtual studio to discuss the topic of the week. The conversations are really eye-opening and we usually uncover nuggets to help us all live this single life like a boss.

Episode Summary

In Part 2 of this 2 part episode, my cousin Nadine Lewis (a divorcee, entrepreneur, wife, mother and elder in her church) shares how she handled her relationship once she became a Christian since he was not yet one. She also gives us some advice on how to find Love After Divorce.

Key Takeaways

• You have to determine his readiness for a relationship/marriage even as we have to assess our own (3:50)
• Be honest about the kind of relationship you're in. Don't lie or hide (7:51)
• We have to be careful that we don't become legalistic and make the man uncomfortable because we're now Christians and he is not (10:35)
• Your objective is not to 'turn' him into a Christian but to let him see Jesus in you and want to have what you have as in 1 Peter 3:1-6 (12:05)
• When you take a vote on marriage as a Christian it ought to mean something serious (15:37)

Top Quotes

• It is so important for family backgrounds to be, you don't have to be the same, but there should be some similarities. And that's what made it good for us and probably easy. And when you don't have that it's harder (4:58)
• When we become Christians it doesn't mean that we now have to put a noose around anybody's neck or a block on anybody's head...or anything like that (10:35)
• I've heard so many men say...when a woman becomes a Christian, it's almost like she forgets that we had a friendship. She forgets that we're trying to do this together (10:59)
• You have to let them (the man who is not a Christian) make their own decision. Encourage them. Because we'll get up and he will decide to go to church this Sunday...and then another Sunday I ask you're not going to church this morning? he says no. I just leave him (11:31)
• What you need to do is live in your life, so that they will see that this Christian thing and say she's happy I want be happy too (11:55)
• Making a promise not only to your husband but more to God that you're gonna do these things. And because of that for me I do everything to ensure that I don't break that covenant because you have this reverence and fear of God (14:50)
• You must be aware that you're not perfect and the other person is not perfect either and you will make mistakes. You must be willing to apologize. You must be willing to step backwards and...you have to own up to your mistakes (17:15)

Stay Connected

Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube.

Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Today I'm going into The Chat Room where women from around the world join me in my virtual studio to discuss the topic of the week. The conversations are really eye-opening and we usually uncover nuggets to help us all live this single life like a boss.

Episode Summary

In Part 1 of this 2 part episode, my cousin Nadine Lewis, a divorcee, entrepreneur, wife, mother and elder in her church, shares about her first marriage which was abusive. She also tells me how she met her second husband..her true happily ever after. Listen to the full episode to enjoy her story. Then come back tomorrow for Part 2.

Key Takeaways

• When it's time to leave a relationship, esp one that's abusive, you're going to need to be brave. Otherwise you may never leave (4:21)
• Don't take on all the blame of the failed relationship (5:19)
• It's not okay to subject children to the toxicity and abuse, even if they aren't being abused (6:21)
• Don't let your failed relationship cause you to harden your heart towards remarrying. You could ruin the chance of finding real love (13:24)
• The man that pursues you should make you feel safe, secure and cared for (17:30)
• You have to be willing to evaluate where you went wrong in the relationship and how you contributed to it breaking down (22:26)

Top Quotes

• It doesn't matter what happened between you and the children's father, accommodate him in their lives (8:03)
• My time was consumed with making them (my children) comfortable, and making their lives, you know, as easy as possible (12:14)
• The first signs you want to look for are those things that caused the first marriage to break down (20:54)
• You have to do some introspection, analyze yourself and see what did you contribute to the first failure because it takes two persons to make it fail (22:26)
• That is where a lot of us may fall down. We don't see, even when the other person is super wrong, how we contributed (22:40)

Stay Connected

Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube.

Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Producer’s Pick is a bonus episode. In it we dissect the line of a movie, song, quote, social media post, Scripture, or topic you suggest.

Episode Summary

In this episode, Elder and Pastor of Fellowship Tabernacle, Percival Palmer shares his final thoughts on the topic 'Breakups, Separation & Divorce'. If you missed his previous episodes, check out episode #47 and #52 to catch up! 

Key Takeaways

• A man must celebrate and break out in song when he finds a wife (3:23)
• Ensure you have a list of characteristics that you are looking forward to in a spouse (4:15)
• In making your decision, you make sure that you get an all clear on the non-negotiable e.g. he must be a man of God (5:22)
• Get behind the mask of the person to see who he really is (6:34)

Top Quotes

• Love is not a feeling. Love is a decision that you make. That's why you say till death do us part in a marital relationship, because you have taken a decision (4:29)
• Go into the relationship knowing what the issues are. There will always be issues and you know what they are so you say this is how we're going to resolve the issues that we have (5:40)
• When you are speaking and you are communicating and are vulnerable to each other, it helps you to grow. It builds intimacy...It helps in terms of sex (8:42)
•  So that means your relationship with God must determine where you go and what to do (11:03)
• When we know the voice of God and we are willing to hear what He has to say, you know, He will guide us. He will direct our path. And so he knowing the future...that bigger picture, He can see...even if our husbands have cheated on us, whether or not it will work out for the better (13:59)

Resources

• Scriptures: Genesis 2:18, Ephesians 5:21-31, 1 Peter 3:1-6, Mark 10:2-5, Jeremiah 29:11, Proverbs 3:5-6, Luke 12:7 

Stay Connected

Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube.

Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Today I’m speaking with our expert about this week’s topic. It’s practical. It hits all the hard places, and offers tips and solutions to help us move to the next level.

Episode Summary

In Part 2 of this interview with Elder and Pastor of Fellowship Tabernacle, Percival Palmer, he continues to discuss red flags, what leads to misunderstandings and some of the Biblical principles we need to apply for better decision making and for the relationship. 

Key Takeaways

• You have to understand each other because you are different. You have to accept those differences and work with it (2:50)
• It is important in the relationship you both understand who God, you each have a relationship with Him and he becomes the final arbiter (judge, the person with the final say) when you have challenges (4:48)
• A healthy and happy relationship has agreement and partners that are equally yoked (7:30)
• Love is a flexible thing. Love is adaptable (15:09)
• When there is an unmet expectation, something has died and that will cause the person to grieve (maybe even become negative in the relationship) (19:49)
• Christ should become the foundation on which we stand when dealing with situations (24:44)

Top Quotes

• One of the things that leads to break up, leads to misunderstanding...is that they do not understand the primary and the secondary love language of their partner (3:16)
• And if you don't have shared values, like what you think about God, and what you think about family, what do you think about friends, those are red flags that you say to couples hold on (8:19)
• So each one of us have an emotional love tank. Emotional love tank is like you have a bank account you had debit or credit. You speak to the individual in their own love language. So (that way) you're topping it up, filling it up to overflow (11:42) 
• He becomes a project which is a wrong attitude to have. If I (as a man) feel that I'm a project to you, I am going to be offended. I'm going to become resentful (15:43)
• It's just that people become hard towards each other. They become offended, they become unforgiving, and you know that unforgiveness and bitterness harden your heart. That is why he encourages us that we must keep clean accounts, we must communicate (18:58)
• To the single women, make sure that you're whole. Getting married is not a when I get married I will fix up myself. Fix up yourself (now). Enjoy yourself in the Lord. Become the best that you can be. So when you get married it is two whole persons (coming together) (26:52)

Resources

• The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
• Scripture: Ephesians 5:21, Amos 3:3, 2 Corinthians 6:14, Mark 10:2-5, Proverbs 4:23, Matthew 18:22, 1 Peter 3:1-6  

Stay Connected

Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube.

Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Today I'm going into The Chat Room where women from around the world join me in my virtual studio to discuss the topic of the week. The conversations are really eye-opening and we usually uncover nuggets to help us all live this single life like a boss.

Episode Summary

In Part 2 of this 2 part episode, Yasmine Campbell tells us how she recovered from her divorce and the lessons she's learned. I love when she says she's grateful for the experience because it made her who she is now. It's my philosophy too and I think we all need to learn from it.

Key Takeaways

• Having a support system that you can share with and who will give you godly counsel necessary for healing. Don't isolate yourself (3:39)
• Some persons may shy away from helping you until you separate from your spouse (6:03)
•  God marries purpose and if their purpose is not in line with yours don't waste your time because it will derail for months or years (11:29)
• So often we do not take the time to get to know if the man is a good man. And so we can't make a right decision regarding him (17:41)
• What we need to know when choosing a partner is whether God says this is the one and whether God says this person is ready because timing is also important (19:40)

Top Quotes

• God has really cushioned the blows that I should be feeling. And so every step of the way, as soon as I start to really struggle, God just send some answers that's an help (5:23)
• My takeaways from this marriage is guard your freedom guard what you have in Christ (11:13)
• Relationships require vulnerability but it just can't work one way (12:44)
• When somebody is in your life sucking the blood out of you...you have to get higher. Just get higher in God. don't stop because there comes a point where that crow has to fall off your back (15:06)
• It's interesting how we don't take the time to get to know people. We don't know how they really are, who they really are. Oftentimes, we watch them based on their actions (17:02)
• I really thank him for where I am today....for whatever I've learned and the wisdom that I've gained because without going through this, I wouldn't know what I am made up of. And I wouldn't have learned so much. The Scriptures wouldn't have come alive to me (22:36) 

Stay Connected

Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube.

Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Today I'm going into The Chat Room where women from around the world join me in my virtual studio to discuss the topic of the week. The conversations are really eye-opening and we usually uncover nuggets to help us all live this single life like a boss.

Episode Summary

In Part 1 of this 2 part episode, Yasmine Campbell tells us about her failed marriage to a licensed minister of religion. She speaks of his infidelity and abuse and how she became a substitute mother to the children he had out of wedlock. 

Key Takeaways

• Take  note when others caution you about someone you are dating. Don't push  it under the rug. Pray about it, ask others, speak to him (2:39)
• Make your decision based on the character before you not based on your hope that he will change (3:31)
• Sometimes breaking free from a relationship requires spiritual deliverance because we aren't strong enough to do it on our own (7:24)
• Some men will use the blame game as part of their arsenal when they are cheating/abusing you (10:01)
• A bad relationship/marriage can cause you to be cursed by sickness and disease (11:06)
• Unfortunately, there are men who are ordained by the Church and who flow in the spiritual gifts, who cheat on and abuse women (19:38)

Top Quotes

• Everything  that I saw before the marriage, it just became blown up in the  marriage. The cheating became blown up, it was bigger than before, you  know, it produced outside children (3:41)
• There was also financial abuse where he was taking the money that I  was earning to take care of his outside interest and child (4:31)
• I went through that (caring for his child as my own). I went through the isolation, I went through feeling ashamed (10:49)
• So I had to recognize that...you pity the man that is hurting and abusing you. You need to pity the woman that is being abused...you need to feel sorry for yourself (12:53)
• I see him ministering at a higher level that I didn't reach in areas of ministry and flowing into gifts. And I would say, the young man is consecrated. He's not doing this because nobody can be doing all this and not be consecrated (19:38)
• This is a curse, you're under a curse. You have covenanted in marriage with someone who is under the curse of poverty, and lack. And so you have come under that curse with him. This is why this is happening to you (27:00)

Stay Connected

Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube.

Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Producer’s Pick is a bonus episode. In it we dissect the line of a movie, song, quote, social media post, Scripture, or topic you suggest.

Episode Summary

In this episode I'm responding to questions posed by two of my listeners and sharing something that happened with me recently. Listen to the full episode for practical tips and solutions that can help you to deal with sexual urges and get that horniness under control.

Key Takeaways

• Initially,  it may be very hard to get your sexual urges under control. You will  have to be consistent in applying a Godly strategy to do so (3:08)
• Your strategy must involve open and honest conversation with God...one void of pretense (4:12)
• You have to be willing to run like Joseph ran from Potiphar's wife (6:50)
• When we come before God we need to be like David who poured out his heart in a real, open and vulnerable way (9:53)
• It  (the Word of God) is alive. It will start to give life to any areas in  our hearts, our body, our minds, any areas that are dead, and dead  meaning still in its fleshly state (13:45)
• Masturbation must be used as a stimulant for the husband and wife not to satisfy fleshly desires (21:06)

Top Quotes

• When we keep stuff in the dark, the enemy uses that against us (7:44)
• We  miss the opportunity to be frank with our Father, our King and Lord. He  wants us to have such a deep relationship with Him that it allows Him  to free us completely because we're not hiding anything (8:51)
• When  you don't have something that is healthy, constructive, Kingdom-focused  doing with yourself, you know, doing to preoccupy your mind ...the  devil will find a work for you to do (11:00)
• Flirting  is okay inside of marriage, masturbation inside of marriage, but you  also have to be careful because it can become something that you must  have and it becomes an idol (21:06)
• When  you are in a relationship and it's a God thing, it ought to have the  principles of God, the ways of God all wrapped up in it (31:54)
• You're not to be tied by the soul, which is the flesh, but by the Spirit, which is God (33:15)

Resources

• Balanced Deliverance
• Scriptures: Colossians 3:12-14, Jeremiah 1:10, Genesis 39, Psalms, Proverbs 16:27, Hebrews 4:12, 1 Corinthians 7:5

Stay Connected

Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube.

Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Episode Summary

In this All Wrapped Up episode, I do a recap and share my thoughts on Part1 of this 2 part episode on 'Breakups, Separation & Divorce'' which we did in the Chat Room and on Ask the Expert this week. In this All Wrapped Up episode I share my thoughts on the importance of allowing ourselves to recover within a reasonable time and learning from our pain. 

Key Takeaways

• Breakup, separation and divorce take place because there is a break down in the relationship which can lead to discomfort, toxicity, abuse and so on(2:23)
• There is purpose in our pain. We need to figure out the lessons and make the most of the opportunities (8:13)
• We have to be careful to not stay too long in our place of pain because the longer we stay is the longer it hurts (9:44)
• God has given us a system and this is where we will see abundance. The problem is we don't work the system (13:08)
• Conversations of expectations and roles must be had (17:58)

Top Quotes

• Things  that are in the dark, if we do not bring them into the light, meaning  if we feel shame and guilt, and we don't push to share with others,  persons who are Godly counsel, that's going to be a downward spiral for  us (5:26)
• I  saw almost the gift in my pain...You've given this to me, because you  say you turn around all things for the good of those who love you. Let  me run with it and not stay bogged down in my pain and frustration and  so on (8:53)
• After  going through a grieving process, we ought to come to a place where we  start to fall back on who we truly are, as women of God, you know  (12:30)
• What's  inside of me is far greater than my circumstances, weaknesses and  fears, far greater than my failures and disappointments...what is inside  of me, the Holy Spirit (13:28)
• When  we know who we are, and we we are really truly dependent on God as our  source, we know that he will never leave us nor forsake us (14:40)
• It  brought me to the realization that I didn't love him. And then it  brought me to a place where I started to wonder, do I even love myself?  Does he love himself? (21:46)
• Let's  not stay in the place of trauma and shame and guilt and hurt. Let's see  the opportunity in what we have experienced, not minimizing our pain,  but using it for our benefits (27:13)

Resources

• Relationship Quality Questionnaire
• Real Love Character Test
• Scriptures: Romans 8:28, Deuteronomy 28:13, Deuteronomy 31:6. Ephesians 2:10, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Stay Connected

Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube.

Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Today I’m speaking with our expert about this week’s topic. It’s practical. It hits all the hard places, and offers tips and solutions to help us move to the next level.

Episodes Summary

In Part 1 of this 2 part episode of Ask the Expert, Elder and Pastor of Fellowship Tabernacle, Percival Palmer shares some of the red flags he's observed over the years as a marriage counselor working with couples during premarital and marital counseling. 

Key Takeaways

• Premarital  counseling, if it is done properly, will highlight the issues and will  give you a chance  as the persons being counseled to see what the issues  are and then to make good decisions (5:52)
• The final arbitrator should be the Word of God, and that is God speaking into your relationship (8:34)
• Vulnerability is very important for a successful relationship and marriage (14:36)
• We must celebrate our partners because that person is a gift from God, even with their weaknesses (25:45)
• Men are responsible for what happens in a relationship. His primary role is as priest, prophet, protector and provider (28:06)

Top Quotes

• I think we take it lightly, we believe that love will solve all of our problems (4:32)
• There are some things that are non negotiable. I cannot, even if I love the Lord very much (7:59)
• People  have expectations of the other person and they are not saying it and  they will go along. But the other person does not know that is what you  are thinking (10:13)
• Can I be  vulnerable with that individual...the good and the bad. Can they accept  me because if they can only accept the good, you know, you have a  problem (14:36)
• When we filter out  the expectations and the fantasies that are not realistic, or not even  good for us, once we're left with the things that are positive...if that  person doesn't match up then we have to think again about who we're  choosing (21:00)
• God has given this  person to you with their strengths and weaknesses. But if you spend time  in terms of celebrating the other person, you do not take them for  granted (25:19)

Resources

• Kingdom Marriage: Connecting God's Purpose With Your Pleasure
• The Man God Has For You
• Scriptures: 1 Corinthians 13, Genesis 1, Genesis 2

Stay Connected

Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube.

Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Today I'm going into The Chat Room where women from around the world join me in my virtual studio to discuss the topic of the week. The conversations are really eye-opening and we usually uncover nuggets to help us all live this single life like a boss.

Episode Summary

In Part 2 of this 2 part episode in The Chat Room, divorcees Carole and Shellie-Ann conclude the discussion on Breakups, Separation & Divorce, sharing how they recovered and the lessons they've learned along the way.  

Key Takeaways

• Having  core friends that you can freely share with and doing counseling are  key ways to heal from  trauma, breakup, separation and divorce (3:14)
• Surrounding yourself with the love and comfort of family members will help in the healing process (4:38)
• Self-care is critical as well e.g. changing a hairstyle, taking a vacation, going to the spa and so on(5:38)
• Forgiving yourself and your partner releases you from bondage (12:16)
• You can submit to the point of losing yourself (16:49)

Top Quotes

• It  (counseling) was like, you know when you get that prescription that  just helps you, you see the symptoms start clearing up and then you'll  understand why this happened (4:01)
• You gotta go back to that heavy dosage of love to help you repair your soul, your spirit (5:22)
• I think the question is, is there life after separation? Is there life after divorce? And the resounding answer is yes (9:29)
• I  was serving at church more and I would just every time an opportunity  comes up, I would be just throwing myself into that (9:56)
• Have  I considered remarriage? Yes, certainly. But I am preparing myself in a  way that I should not make the same mistakes that I've made before. And  the person that I am today will be an asset to the person who I'm going  to be joining (11:28)
• I  say to persons as someone who's been there done that, let's have some  quarrels...Let's put it out there the things that hurt me (15:10)
• You  want to know that you gave it your best shot. You prayed it through to  the point where God says, no, this person is no longer trying the heart,  the heart is hard...it's not a flippant decision to get up and get  divorced (22:19)

Resources

• Single, Married, Separated and Life After Divorce
• From I Do to I Don't: Overcoming the Wounds of a Bad Relationship

Stay Connected

Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube.

Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Today I'm going into The Chat Room where women from around the world join me in my virtual studio to discuss the topic of the week. The conversations are really eye-opening and we usually uncover nuggets to help us all live this single life like a boss.

Episode Summary

In Part 1 of this 2 part episode, divorcees Carole and Shellie-Ann share their experiences before and during marriage and explain what led to the separation and later divorce. The stories are raw and heartfelt and filled with nuggets we can learn from. 

Key Takeaways

• The  shame and hurt of breakups, separation and divorce usually cause us to  believe that people are criticizing and chastising us. So we end up  pulling away from people when what they really want to do is love us  through it (8:19)
• Breakups,  separation and divorce will cause us to self-blame and negative  self-talk usually causes us to curse ourselves so we have to be careful  of that (11:15)
• The healing process may require that we let go of shared assets, forgive the person, apologize (16:58)
• We  may find ourselves in a tail spin because separation and divorce may  result in a lack of security and stability e.g. we no longer have dual  income to support our bills (26:46)
• We  don't make enough of an effort to find ourselves/our identity. So that  in our lowest moments we can say I know who I am regardless (33:22)

Top Quotes

• Even  though you love the person you'll come to the point where you have to  say you have to do what is best for you at that particular point in  time...And I literally had to run for safety (2:54)
• I'm a Christian. I don't want to get divorced. What are people going to say, you know, that kind of thing (5:06)
• After  a while, you understand that people are with you. People are for you in  this devastating time and people want to give you the support, but we  ourselves block people from speaking because we are not yet ready (6:54)
• There  may be a one or two persons criticizing or looking and scuffing what  persons are usually cheering you on. And what you don't get the  opportunity to enjoy the encouragement (8:19)
• I  got to another stage where I came to the reality and the Lord revealed  that, no remember that passage that says, He causes all things to work  together for our good. So it means there are lessons in this for you to  learn (13:55)
• There  was a slot on here for status, and then ever had separated. I wasn't  yet divorced. And so I said to the lady, I don't have a status (30:16)
• I wonder how much I was new. We no longer have a status. We no longer live or belong anywhere? (33:49)

Stay Connected

Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube.

Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Producer’s Pick is a bonus episode. In it we dissect the line of a movie, song, quote, social media post, Scripture, or topic you suggest.

Episode Summary

In Part 2 of this 2 part episode, I continue the discussion with Pastor Courtney Morrison who concludes the topic, 'Who is a Mature Man?'. He dives deeper and gives us practical tips for better relationship decision making. 

Key Takeaways

• Some men who are submitted to God are wounded and may not yet be mature enough or ready for marriage (5:41)
• Men lack accountability; sage men who will help mentor them and help them to mature from an early stage (9:04)
• Don't unfairly judge a man based on the stage that he's at. Acknowledge that he's unable to give you what you need (10:31)
• A  mature man won't immediately think of cheating. He's likely to find  some constructive way to deal with his urges instead (17:31)
• Research suggests that women don't support men and don't create a safe space for their male partners to operate in (20:52)

Top Quotes

• Even  those of us men sometimes who are submitted to God, have anger issues,  father issues, childhood issues, lack of success issues, again,  contributing towards us being wounded (5:41)
• Our  men who don't get pass the gibbor stage end up in prisons because of  their warrior spirit. Our phallic men if they don't pass that end up in  prison because of rape. abusing minors...women (9:40)
• You  have to as women be able to identify also the stage (of the maturity of  a man) and know whether or not it's being directed in a good direction  (11:17)
• Recognizing that he's loving this woman as his own body was able to treat her as his own body (14:49)
• Men  will stay at the domino table till 2am in the morning, because they  don't they can win the argument. They don't feel that they are in a safe  place to talk freely (22:15)
• Allowing  him to open up and talk without feeling as if he is being judged or  he's being forced to do so....allowing him to make calls on situations  that even if he's wrong...he's not torn to bits (23:56)

Resources

• The Masculine Journey
• Taming of the Shrew
• Kingdom Man: Every Man's Destiny, Every Woman's Dream
• Scriptures: Malachi 4:6

Stay Connected

Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube.

Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Episode Summary

In this All Wrapped Up episode, I do a recap of the Chat Room, Man Talk and Ask the Expert episodes on the  topic, 'Highs & Lows Of Marriage' (Part 2). She discusses what stood  out to her and adds some of my own thoughts.

Key Takeaways

• If we want to get things right in marriage we need to start now to practice what to do and how to react (1:59)
• Men want to feel regarded and honored in the way Sarah honored Abraham and called her Lord (5:59)
• Readiness for marriage is about being ready for life period (9:39)
• Marriage  requires a shared vision which also means being willing to give up our  own desires and understanding for the greater good (11:45)
• We  have a personal responsibility to focus on being better persons and  applying the principles of the Word versus focusing on our partner's  flaws (14:34)

Top Quotes

• You cannot defeat a thing if you don't practice what is necessary to defeat it (2:24)
• Let  him be the man. Don't usurp his authority. Don't be too independent  that he doesn't see the relationship, communication and  interdependence....allow the man to see the woman in you, the wife in  you (3:44)
• Be  careful not to be condescending. Be careful not to take away the  support that our spouse is expecting from us. Be careful not to dishonor  him, because he will thrive when he's honored, respected and loved  (5:38)
• God  is depending on us to have the right attitude and behavior so that the  man...will see God, he will see Jesus in us by the way we behave (7:26)
• Foundation includes a willingness to see the bigger picture, and making our decisions based on that bigger picture (10:29)
• We can't end up in a marriage with a man unless we choose to (13:55)
• This thing about personal responsibility isn't just about relationships. It's about life, full stop (15:41)

Resources

• Relationship Quality Questionnaire
• Real Love Character Test
• The ABC's of Choosing A Good Husband
• Scriptures: Genesis 3:8, Romans 18, 1 Samuel 24:1-7, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Stay Connected

Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube.

Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Today I’m speaking with our experts about this week’s topic. It’s practical. It hits all the hard places, and offers tips and solutions to help us move to the next level.

Episode Summary

In Part 2 of this 2 part episode of Ask the Expert, Karl and Maureen Downer continue their discussion and explain how they've been able to achieve more highs than lows in their marriage of 30 years. They emphasize the importance of a godly foundation, a willingness to make sacrifices for the good of the marriage and spending time meditating on the Word together. 

Key Takeaways

• The extent to which a marriage is successful will depend on the strength of the foundation of the marriage (1:58)
• A marriage will prosper when the husband and wife have a common vision (3:07)
• We must be willing to make sacrifices for our marriage and the vision of our marriage (6:11)
• Time spent together in the Word brings excitement to the relationship and brings us closer to God and each other (13:04)

Top Quotes

• If  the foundation is right then we can start building. If the foundation  is not right, don't start building. Forget it. Move right along because  something's gonna come along and it's gonna crumble (2:44)
• If our vision is towards the same end, it makes for a great relationship (3:17)
• If your marriage is outside of Christ, it's based on feelings. If your marriage is in Chris it is based on a commitment (7:28)
• I can't give you my heart until you're truly in love with Christ (8:31)
• Marriage is meant to be wonderful (18:18)
• You choose to love and you choose to ensure that Christ is the foundation and that is what is going to cause it to last (19:22)

Resources

• The Five Love Languages
• The Four Laws of Love
• Kingdom Marriage: Connecting God's Purpose With Your Pleasure
• The Man God Has For You

Stay Connected

Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube.

Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

Today we're tuning into Man Talk, the segment that unlocks the male perspective on the topic of the week. The conversations are really enlightening but more importantly it will help us all understand the male psyche and how to navigate it for our relationships and marriage.

Episode Summary

In Part 2 of this 2 part episode, Andre (Music Minister) and Ron-Cey (Pastor) continue the discussion on the 'Highs & Lows of Marriage'. They are open and honest. They share practical tips, and in the end Pastor Ron-Cey leaves us with a heartwarming word of encouragement.

Key Takeaways

• Preparing for marriage requires testing - asking hard questions, premarital counseling and so on (1:03)
• Responding  to and engaging your husband in the right way will come with practice.  Start to practice now with male friends and people in general (5:15)
• Some of the admirable attributes of a woman are strength backed by meekness and gracefulness (8:13)
• Marriage  is about two elements fusing together to become one. So there is going  to be pain. There is going to be friction and struggles (13:22)
• The  lows a lot of times comes because we don't take the opportunity to  appreciate some of the quirkiness and the differences in our partner  (19:39)
• Don't underestimate the power of prayer in creating a shift in your marriage and marital circumstances (32:40)

Top Quotes

• The test or a series of tests is not equivalent to a confirmation to say that this is not of God (1:57)
• God can put people in your Life strategically, to prepare you to help prepare you, for your husband (4:56)
• You  have the opportunity to see blind spots in yourself from the feedback  of your family members, coworkers and your friends (9:10)
• Marriage,  if you open yourself up to it, it truly has a tendency to put a walking  mirror in front of you. It shows you who you are (11:22)
• Begin  to you train yourself to appreciate, 'well you know that this isn't me  but I value that this is you, it's different okay' (20:10)
• I was in a funk because I felt like she put down my differences. I felt like she didn't value it (21:39)
• Marriage is a team sport. And people always say there's no I in team, it's all about what is best for the team (31:20)
• Inside  of you, God has deposited the ingredients to be a successful woman  period. And out of the identity of Christ formed in your womanhood will  flow, the faithful wife, the successful wife (35:10)

Stay Connected

Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube.

Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.