"How did I get here?" If you have found yourself in the midst of an extramarital affair, at some point you asked this question.  We can’t leave a season on sexuality without opening up the closet of infidelity in a more personal space, especially since we have spent so much time highlighting the dangers of pornography. In this episode, I will shed some light on the following topics: 1) Adultery starts with a lack of boundaries, and ruptured boundaries in childhood often create confusion around sexual engagements as adults. 2) Grooming is the process of gaining trust and creating a narrative that provides more opportunity for sexual engagement. I am a firm believer that the more we know, the more we can protect ourselves from deception and manipulation of others or just the enemy of the soul. I am here to talk about hard topics and bring new perspectives to where boundaries and ruptures can create long-term relational impact.   If you like what you hear, if you have gained any support or guidance or wisdom from engaging this episode, please drop a rating or review, and if you think others need the same insight, please share it with them! Follow me on social media @siftedwheatpodcast or my website lesliealamb.com for access to blog, other episodes, and my teen book series!

I believe that sex was meant to be good, but with the prospect of big money and ravenous appetites for pleasure in our culture, it’s looking more and more unsafe. Because of that, let’s take one more deep dive into the nuances of sexuality and the importance of using your voice to find healing. Jesus was protective of women and when He called out adultery and lust, it appeared to be with the function and heart of a loving Father or a concerned older brother. Where culture was taking advantage and objectifying women, He was pointing to our souls and to our value. But what if the culture objectifying women is in the church? Where do we go for safety then? 🤝 Join me as we look at Matthew 5:28 from that lens - Where we discover the line of lust and idolatry and where we learn how to initiate more safety in our sexual experiences. We don’t have to obey the voice of an objectifying culture. We can lean into the heart of our Savior and find freedom for our souls. ⭐️ Feel free to leave a rating or review wherever you found this episode and share it with those who might need hope and support in this space of sexuality. 🔎 You can find @siftedwheatpodcast on Instagram or at my blog lesliealamb.com or through emailing me at siftedwheatpodcast@gmail.com   Catch you next season! Where we address how and where we are tempted to lose our identities. 

This episode is another invitation into the intellect and wisdom that is Tom Pryde’s brain. Tom is the High Conflict Coach through Banner Institute and an expert in the abuse dynamics in relationships. As a friend and someone who is equally as passionate about loving people safely, he did the hard thing of sitting with me in my struggles and questions and reminded me that both sexes have sensibilities. Because of that, this is a conversation for both men and women. I think if we could lean in and listen to what it actually is to be equal and how to “GIVE” to one another safely and with full permission, without pressure but with invitation, to create a language of intimacy with actions and words before it becomes a physical engagement, a lot of the confusion, shame and fear would leave this space, returning sex back to feeling like  a gift and not an intimidating weapon between partners.   Scriptures referred to and discussed: Genesis 2:25 Ephesians 5:20-21 Philippians 2:3   You can find Tom through Banner Institute to find out more about his work through the Psalm 82 Initiative and/or to inquire about getting support services. And, feel free to contact us at siftedwheatpodcast@gmail.com with any questions or for more information. Or, follow us on social media: @siftedwheatpodcast or @bannerinstitute on Instagram

In this episode you will hear what can negatively inform our relationship choices: family dynamics, past trauma, fear of failure, emotional immaturity and a disconnected sense of identity. Shantray does a beautiful job of highlighting how each of these things led to choices that resulted in pain and suffering. She also shares about the “rescue” of God to call her back to life, how He met her in the dead of the night and required her to do the brave and hard thing, and how that act of obedience, repentance and faithfulness has strengthened her faith and empowered her to be a source of hope for others who are in healing from divorce. And if you haven't gone through divorce, this is also a source for support in our role as friends and family and how to meet those we love in their struggle and grief as we hear how Shantray’s story can encourage our choices, too!   Scriptures used and shared for hope and encouragement: Psalm 23:1-6 Psalm 27:1, 13-14 Psalm 116:1-9 Isaiah 61:7 Proverbs 13:12 Colossians 2:6-8 Mark 12:30-31 Ephesians 6:16-21 Ephesians 3:12   You can reach Shantray for more information at the address below: shantraysmith@kingdomlegacyc3.com   Please leave a review or rating to keep seeing great content! 

When I sat down to write this episode, I was hesitant. I knew it would be difficult to navigate without a clear direction and landed on education and exhortation. I think we need to hear about how the world has invaded our personhood, how the environment might lend to sexual interruptions, and mostly how attraction can be the line where we can stay in the space of temptation instead of moving into sin and lifestyle. Just the fact that we have to call it “sin” probably offends some, and I can’t help that. And, in sitting with this content, what makes it overwhelmingly difficult to release is not that we don’t know what the Bible says, but because we love people! We love those who struggle with it. We love those who have embraced it. We love those who whole-heartedly believe it is their identity. And so does God. Truly. Deeply.So instead of avoiding or blindly embracing what we don’t fully understand, let’s talk about it and discover more about that fine but significant line between temptation and sin.  Scriptures referenced: 1 Corinthians 6:18 Deuteronomy 30:19 Matthew 5:29-30 Matthew 22:37-40 James 1:14-15   For more content, feel free to follow along on Instagram @siftedwheatpodcast or email us at siftedwheatpodcast@gmail.com   

This conversation might not be popular, but it is a powerful one to expose the hidden dangers of pornography and its effect to unravel and oppress marriages, especially in the church. Tom talks about the real hook of pornography and how that being exposed can lead to better choices within the marriage and not precipitate the engagement of pornographic scenarios which are abusive in nature. This conversation also discusses where the church has chosen to hide instead of confronting the messages of pornography that are eroding marriages and damaging the souls of women who have been taught to submit at all costs. My hope is that through this conversation, if will expose the lies and illuminate the truth, not to villainize men and women that find themselves struggling, but to release the captives of abusers and the minds of those that are being indoctrinated about sexuality in a way that will harm others.   You can find Tom through Banner Institute and find out more about his work through the Psalm 82 Initiative and where he is making an impact on women and men all over the world.   Feel free to contact us through siftedwheatpodcast@gmail.com with any questions or for more information. Follow us on social media @siftedwheatpodcast and @bannerinstitute    

What is our issue with divorce anyway? Are our arguments situated in the CONTEXTUAL truth of God’s Word? I find all too often that our position with divorce is very much taken from scriptures that are not interpreted in context, which just adds to the complication and why so many feel trapped in unloving and unkind marriages. This episode, we will look at the full context of the infamous verse “God hates divorce” so that it might be used as a source of compassion and healing (as intended) and not the battering ram or billy club it’s come to mean in some spiritual circles. We will also look at the FULL definition of adultery and learn why we can’t trust only what we see to bring correction but how to inquire more deeply about what is unseen but just as sinful. My hope is that this conversation can shift our judgment, and instead of using divorce as a means to choose sides or cast blame, our actions and thoughts about the people involved will be lead of the Spirit and entered into with humility and grace.   For your own study, feel free to read the following scriptures: Malachi 2:16 Ezra 10:19 Matthew 19:8   Feel free to follow us on Facebook, social media, or at the website linked below: https://www.instagram.com/siftedwheatpodcast lesliealamb.com Or email us at siftedwheatpodcast@gmail.com

This week we are engaging a raw and vulnerable conversation about pornography and childhood sexual abuse. It isn’t a topic that brightens up a room exactly, but we do our best to carve it out in a way that brings hope and healing to hurting souls that might listen. Some questions we will address: ▶️ How has abuse and introduction to pornography affected you? ▶️ What is the hardest part of your journey? ▶️ What do you want others who share this same trauma to know?   Grab a cup of coffee or tea or iced cold water, pull up a chair, and listen in to Lexi’s sacred story and glean from her gentle wisdom.    🤝 Stay connected by reaching out in the following ways:   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/siftedwheatpodcast Follow and subscribe on Podbean: https://siftedwheatpodcast.podbean.com/

This our last episode in the “Dear Counselor” series (at least for this season), and we will address the following issues that often surface in this space of healing and support: 🌀What does our role as followers of Jesus look like for those around us who are suffering? 🌀The importance of not being quick to operate against spiritual forces without first considering the soul connected, and the physical and emotional needs that are there. 🌀 A look at depression and anxiety and deliverance through the lens of the Word of God and personal experiences, to bring mercy and compassion.    Thanks for joining us! And feel free to follow us on social media for more content 👇🏻 Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/siftedwheatpodcast Follow and subscribe on Podbean: https://siftedwheatpodcast.podbean.com/

Have you asked that question before? Are you struggling now? Anxiety and depression can be debilitating, but we don't have to stay in that state. We can start to move through those episodes by exploring and inquiring to release the threatening messages they represent and move into more hope and joy. As usual, we invite the Word of God to inform that process, without minimizing the experience or "praying it away" but acknowledging the presence of anxiety and depression are real and can be resolved and released more readily over time. Keep listening to learn practical steps and exercises to learn the importance and the process of renewing your mind! Have you left a rating or review? That 10 seconds or less would help us so much! Or even better, take that same time and share it with a friend that could use support with to work through depression and anxiety!   Want to connect? Here are some options: Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/siftedwheatpodcast Follow and subscribe on Podbean: https://siftedwheatpodcast.podbean.com/    

Despite the original question sent in by the listener, "How do I remove my anger?" I dig into how to move through anger so that we don't feel stuck in it, act out of it in ways that hurt others, or keep the toxic habit of pushing it away.   In this conversation we will address: What do we do with anger? Is it a sin? How do we know when our anger has crossed over into sin? Where does forgiveness help or hinder our anger?   Wherever you find yourself in this space of anger, you will hear something that can help you. I provide some practical steps to processing anger by exploring and investigating other more vulnerable feelings that might be attached, which actually increases empathy and our emotional intelligence as we make it a daily practice.   Have you left a rating or review? That 10 seconds or less would help us so much! Or even better, take that same time and share it with a friend that could use support with their anger!   Want to connect? Here’s some options:   Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/siftedwheatpodcast   Follow and subscribe on Podbean: https://siftedwheatpodcast.podbean.com/

Struggling with family members? Not sure what steps to take or what it looks like to love and/or help someone who exhibits toxic behaviors? This conversation is important to listen to!   In this conversation we will address: The difference between “unhealth” and “toxicity” The difficulties of separation and validation What is our role in loving a toxic family member? What is the role of the community towards those estranged from their family?   Wherever you find yourself, I think you will hear something that will help you figure out your next steps or validate your choices to love with distance.   Have you left a rating or review? That 10 seconds or less would help us so much!   Want to connect? Here’s some options:   Follow us on social media: https://www.facebook.com/leslie.lamb.9/ https://www.instagram.com/siftedwheatpodcast   Follow and subscribe on Podbean: Sifted Wheat Podcast   Or contact us at: siftedwheatpodcast@gmail.com

This is a HARD question, but as a counselor I know it is a necessary one. We are starting a new series “Dear Counselor” where you asked me your questions, and I sat with the Lord and my experience as a counselor to bring you support and an answer that might instill hope. The truth is, you might not like the answer, you might struggle with the concept, and in either of those spaces, there is so much grace for you! I encourage you to listen with an open heart and open mind and not to just stop there but consider and journal what thoughts and feelings come up. I’m not your “usual” podcast - I’m not here just to educate or inform but hopefully to impact your heart to heal.      Want to connect? Follow us on social media: https://www.facebook.com/leslie.lamb.9/ https://www.instagram.com/siftedwheatpodcast   Follow and subscribe on Podbean: Sifted Wheat Podcast   Or contact us at: siftedwheatpodcast@gmail.com  

We can’t end this series without talking about healthy sexuality, and in this conversation I provide a roadmap that can help us get back to it. We need to move through what pornography taught us, what trauma embedded and any other confusion that might be making it something different than it was meant to be. There are some points that might not be appreciated, that go against what culture tells us about sexuality and health. We discuss the role of marriage in intimacy and how it is more than just sex but “knowing” that builds trust and security and deeper affections, and we introduce an exercise that has been proven to help couples let down their guard and feel more seen with their partners to be vulnerable and more securely connected. You are invited to join the conversation an discover the path for yourself.   Scriptures included: Genesis 6 Galatians 5:16-26 Genesis 4   Gratitude and thanks to our newest social media support - Adrienne Murray   You can find us on socials @siftedwheatpodcast or send us as email at siftedwheatpodcast@gmail.com

In this conversation, I’m joined by my dear friend and colleague, Dr. Brooke Keels,  Ph.D., LPC-MHSP, LPC-Supervisor. She is the Chief Clinical Officer at Lighthouse, located in Dallas Texas, where she works to create, implement, and oversee multiple programs. She has worked in the recovery industry in a professional capacity for over 16 years in a variety of roles. I know you will appreciate her wisdom on the topic of Platonic Intimacy, her personal journey of seeing its importance, and the advice she gives us to make it a bigger deal in our lives. We discuss the pitfalls of aligning intimacy with only sexuality, and how done right, platonic intimacy is most stable of relationships. To be fair, we also discuss how it’s a sacrifice to be in relationship and that regardless of what culture tells us, it can’t be based only on what feels good. True depth of relationship is forged in tension and being sharpened. Listen in and find out for yourself how you can develop healthier platonic intimacy and where you can start now to engage it differently and with more intentionality!   NOTE: The  Verse in Acts (2:43-45) is what Brooke is referring to when she points to sacrifice in community and relationship. And she also references the following source and quote: “But fellowship is a sacrifice that goes beyond convenience.” From The Kris Vallotton Podcast: Developing Healthy Communities You can listen here : https://podcast.krisvallotton.com/developing-healthy-communities   Thanks so much for choosing then Sifted Wheat podcast! We are grateful for your support and your listenership. If you don’t mind, would you leave us a rating and/or review? And if this episode was significant, would you share it with a friend or two?   Until next time follow us on Instagram @siftedwheatpodcast or email us at siftedwheatpodcast@gmail.com 🌾🤎  

It’s time for another episode in the continued exploration of “sexuality.” What forms and develops our attraction? Why does that matter? And how can we safe guard our heart from the pitfalls of attraction? Those are the questions we are addressing today. And I pray they are not only revelatory but they are impactful to your relationships - the ones you are in, the ones you are developing and the ones you need to leave behind. Where ever you find yourself in the spectrum, there is a word of wisdom and hope for you!   Referenced scripture:  Song of Songs (Solomon) 8:4 and 9   Follow me on instagram @siftedwheatpodcast  or on FB @ https://www.facebook.com/leslie.lamb.9/ or email me at siftedwheatpodcast@gmail.com

*Trigger Warning* This week’s episode is about exploring why it’s important to realize that sex isn’t everything and everything isn’t sex. I wrestled with what to name this because I didn’t want people to push it away without giving it a chance.. so, I might have given it a bit of a “clickbaity” title to encourage some curiosity? Maybe that’s why you are here, and now that you are, as promised, here are the questions I encouraged you to sift through in your own process of evaluation and assessment of the role of sexuality And the interruption of shame in your story: Where have you confused the mechanisms of sex with intimacy? Where have you placed expectations on yourself or those in your life to meet those needs sexually instead of connecting more vulnerably to be seen and known? Where do you need to set boundaries in relationships so that you can be more confident that it truly is a healthy, life-giving relationship and not a means of releasing sexual frustration? How old were you when you had your first experience? What belief systems resulted from that? Are you still living out of those fears and expectations? Have you resorted to sexual activities to meet non-sexual needs?   Then as a parent or as an adult: Have you mistaken sexual behaviors in children as “dirty” or “shameful” without considering they might not understand either of those terms? Have you shamed yourself for these things? Have you considered what you might need when you resort to self-soothing behaviors and pornography? Are you seeking sex or do you really need to be loved, held, seen, valued, comforted? Are you bored, tired or emotional? What can you do instead to shift this temptation to something that is more satisfying and less shame-filled?   After you listen, find a safe space to work through these questions with an accountability partner, a spouse, a pastor or a licensed counselor.. the more we open this space in safety, the less hold shame has over us.   As always, you can direct any thoughts or questions to our email siftedwheatpodcast@gmail.com and follow us on Instagram @siftedwheatpodcast for more encouragement, engagement, and content. 🤎  

In this conversation we are going to address how my own misuse and exposure to pornography has impacted my heart, my identity and my marriage.   I’m opening up space for us to sit with the following questions: Where did you learn about sex? How did you learn what it sounds like, looks like or should feel like? Were you told that porn and masturbation were just a rite of passage? Were you encouraged to bring pleasure to yourself or to others? And then, how has that affected you? How has it impacted the way your see yourself or the way that you see others? How has it affected your marriage? Your relationships? Do you feel like you can’t get enough or do you feel like you can’t do enough to stay sexually satisfied? Per usual, we aren’t dancing around topics that need to be pulled apart and dissected by the light of Truth. So, if you are ready and need support and/ or healing in this space, “Let’s talk about sex.”   Scriptures discussed and encouraged to read for yourself: Genesis 1-2 Leviticus 15 1 Corinthians 7:5   You can always reach us at siftedwheatpodcast@gmail.com or find us on our social media profile on instagram @siftedwheatpodcast. Subscribe to catch the latest episodes!    

This is the final topic in the conversation of the two worlds we occupy - spiritual and physical, and the first topic in a conversation about sexuality. In this space, I have done a lot of deconstruction and repairing from my own personal trauma and misinformation, and my hope is that this conversation can help you sit with the following questions: "Is this a trauma or hurt-based response?" "Do I emphasize my sexual desires over spiritual needs?" "Are there spaces where I can replace sexuality with deeper connection with God and others?" "Am I giving access to the enemy through my sexual behaviors?"   Listen for more guidance and information to sift through those thoughts.    

Is this a topic that interests you or confuses you? It's true that not everything is a demon, but anything that creates divisiveness and pride and moves outside of the truth, tempting us into misconceptions about God and our identity in Him, this is spiritual gameplay. The spiritual world is very real and moves in and out of the things we do and say, and the more that we are aware of that the more we are empowered to resist it. This week we are looking at the spiritual side of our battles. We often overlook this in the overwhelming sensation of emotions and physical experiences, but when we allow spiritual warfare to inform our choices, our thoughts and our actions, it can bring peace instead of defeat. Scriptures referenced: 2 Kings 6 2 Chronicles 32:7-8; 15-22 John 19:11 Ephesians 6:10-18   Follow for more content @siftedwheatpodcast on instagram or email us at siftedwheatpodcast@gmail.com