LeBron hat’s schon wieder getan. Und wir ziehen vor Gericht!
Nach seiner „Decision 2“, die sich als Cognac-Werbung entpuppte, reicht Sidelines offiziell Klage ein.
Emotional Misrepresentation, Unpaid Work und vieles mehr. Natürlich satirisch, aber mit juristischem Ernstgefühl.
Außerdem sprechen wir über die größten NBA Stories der Woche, das mögliche Durant-und-Westbrook-Comeback, verrückte Statistiken und ein wenig Culture-Stuff. Wir ordnen die Ergebnisse der GM-Umfrage ein, schauen, wer im Osten vorne liegen könnte, wer im Westen heißer ist als gedacht und welche Teams vielleicht doch überschätzt werden.
Viel Freude beim Hören!
Peace!
Hier unsere nicht ganz ernste Klageschrift zum kopieren:
COMPLAINT FOR EMOTIONAL MISREPRESENTATION AND UNPAID HYPE WORK
I. INTRODUCTION
This action arises from the event colloquially known as “The Decision 2”, during which Defendant LeBron James publicly suggested that a “life-changing decision” would be announced, leading global audiences to believe it concerned basketball, legacy, or at least the Lakers.
Instead, it was revealed to be an advertisement for cognac. Millions suffered emotional whiplash, confusion, and an overwhelming sense of “Bro, seriously?”
II. JURISDICTION
The Court of Public Opinion has universal jurisdiction over all matters of hype, disappointment, and misplaced trust in athlete social media teasers.
III. FACTS
Plaintiffs, acting as responsible journalists, podcasters, and basketball enthusiasts, amplified LeBron’s teaser in good faith.
Plaintiffs did not receive compensation, product samples, or even a thank-you emoji.
Upon revelation of the Hennessy sponsorship, Plaintiffs experienced collective disillusionment, existential frustration, and mild dehydration.
IV. CAUSES OF ACTION
A. Emotional Misrepresentation – Defendant knowingly induced anticipation disproportionate to the actual significance of the announcement.
B. Unjust Enrichment – Defendant and Hennessy profited from the unpaid amplification of media networks, podcasts, and social accounts.
C. Negligent Hype Infliction – Defendant failed to consider the foreseeable disappointment of millions who believed in the purity of basketball storylines.
V. DAMAGES SOUGHT
Plaintiffs seek:
Emotional compensation in the form of one (1) lifetime supply of transparent announcements.
One (1) bottle of Hennessy per disappointed fan.
A public acknowledgment by Defendant that “we may have overhyped it a little.”
VI. PRAYER FOR RELIEF
Plaintiffs respectfully demand judgment in their favor, plus reasonable costs of therapy, editing time, and podcasting stress snacks.
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Len
Philipp
sidelines@opencourt-basketball.com
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