Attachment styles shape how people connect in friendships, dating, marriage, and even at work. Formed in childhood, these patterns often follow into adulthood, influencing how we handle closeness, conflict, and trust.
This week’s conversation explores the four main attachment styles—secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized—and the ways they show up in everyday relationships. From the reliable friend to the clingy partner, from the ghoster to the self-sabotager, each style carries its own strengths and struggles.
The discussion also highlights the real-life wahala these patterns can cause, from over-texting to pulling away from good partners, and offers practical steps for moving toward healthier, more secure connections. The reminder is clear: attachment style is not a life sentence, but a map that can guide growth and change.
Also in this episode: a Praise Report honoring Ekpenyong Brown Otu, also known as Mixmaster Brown, for his courage in running for Fulshear City Council; and a spotlight on why ChatGPT is this week’s “What We’re Digging.”
Is courtesy really common—or is it cultural? This week’s Wednesday Wahala dives into the everyday rules of respect that can turn into big debates. From whether you should answer the door when someone knocks, to the “shoes off” policy in your home, to how greetings shape relationships—Abby and Uchenna unpack how culture defines courtesy.We share personal stories, global traditions, and the hilarious (and sometimes tense) ways these expectations play out in Nigerian households, American living rooms, and multicultural marriages. Whether it’s being side-eyed for not greeting every elder at a party, or being labeled “unwelcoming” for asking guests to remove their shoes, this episode asks: Who really gets to decide what’s respectful?Plus, in this week’s Praise Report, we celebrate Damola Adamolekun—the Nigerian-American executive blazing trails as the youngest CEO of Red Lobster Investor Holdings. And in What We’re Digging, we spotlight Nigeria’s brand-new eVisa system—a surprisingly smooth update that just might change how you travel back home.✨ Tune in for laughter, real talk, and some cultural “aha” moments that will have you rethinking the little things we all call manners.
Episode 12 -- This week’s Wednesday Wahala unpacks a saying many women—especially Nigerian women and those in the diaspora—know all too well: “Men will spoil your white.” We’re flipping the script and focusing on a bigger truth—white doesn’t spoil itself. No matter how polished, faithful, or graceful you are, someone else’s recklessness can stain your reputation. And too often, the shame lands on you instead of the person who caused the mess.We dig into what “spoiling your white” really means—from public cheating and social media antics to reckless public comments, secret lives exposed, and shady dealings that suddenly have your name in the mix. We ask why the embarrassment so often sticks to the woman—and how to shake it off.For anyone already living through it, we share practical, quiet strategies for protecting your peace and reclaiming your dignity. From setting your own PR plan to separating your identity from someone else’s mistakes, this episode is about refusing to carry stains that aren’t yours and remembering that wahala is optional—peace is not.Plus—Praise Report: We celebrate Nigerian-American designer Niyi Okuboyejo, founder of Post-Imperial, whose blend of Yoruba Adire dyeing techniques and modern menswear has earned global acclaim. His recent collaboration for Taraji P. Henson’s 2025 Met Gala look was another proud moment for African artistry on the world stage.What We’re Digging: Crawfish season calls for a trip to Crawfish Shack in Crosby, Texas—serving up Cajun-style crawfish favorites in a family-friendly atmosphere since 2004. Open January through late May—mark your calendars!
Episode 11 -- This week’s Wednesday Wahala dives into a housing headache that spans continents—from Lagos to the U.S.—exploring the ongoing tension between renting and buying.
The episode kicks off with news from Lagos, where the state government is aiming to move away from the longstanding tradition of requiring tenants to pay one or two years of rent upfront. A shift toward monthly or quarterly rent could make independence more accessible for many, especially young adults trying to leave their parents’ homes. But this kind of change comes with its own set of challenges—landlord resistance, digital payment fees, and the potential for more frequent rent hikes.
From there, the discussion zooms out to look at the rent vs. buy dilemma in the United States. While monthly rent payments are the norm here, they still come with trade-offs—namely, helping someone else build equity while you walk away with none. But buying a home isn’t always the “smart” move either. Between maintenance costs, market instability, and lifestyle flexibility, homeownership comes with its own kind of wahala.The episode breaks down when it might make more sense to buy, when renting is the better financial and emotional move, and how both paths can be part of a healthy wealth-building journey—as long as there’s a plan.
Later in the episode, the Praise Report celebrates a proud moment for Nigeria on the global stage: Amazing-Grace Ahuoyiza Ebiebi Salami, the 12-year-old who represented Nigeria in its first-ever appearance at the Scripps National Spelling Bee. Her achievement marks a new chapter in what’s possible for young Nigerians worldwide.
And in What We’re Digging, it’s all about a simple, satisfying surprise: a bottle of Josh Cellars Cabernet Sauvignon—a smooth, balanced red wine that’s perfect for those just starting to explore beyond the sweet stuff. Affordable, flavorful, and unexpectedly grown and sexy.
🎧 Listen wherever you get your podcasts!
#WednesdayWahala #RentOrBuy #ProtectYourPeace #AmazingGrace #AhuoyizaEbiebiSalami #cabernetsauvignon #ShineYourEyePodcast
Episode 9 - Wahala on Wheels: Why DWI is No JokeIn this week’s Wednesday Wahala, we get real about a situation many have faced but few are prepared for: getting pulled over after drinking. Whether it’s a happy hour in Houston, a wedding in Sugar Land, or a night out downtown, this episode breaks down what you should—and should not—say when the flashing lights hit your rearview.We unpack the truth about DWIs (Driving While Intoxicated) in Texas: what the law says, the real costs of a first offense (spoiler alert: it’s more than just a fine), and how cultural mindsets like “I’m good, I only had two drinks” can get us caught up.From Texas Penal Code § 49.04 to the rights you have at the moment of the stop, Abby gives a plainspoken, practical guide to staying safe, legal, and out of jail. Plus, a real talk role-play shows you exactly how to answer those tough questions from officers without incriminating yourself.Then in our Praise Report, we spotlight WNBA star and ESPN analyst Chiney Ogwumike, who’s making major moves in Hollywood with her new women-focused production company, Victorious. Her debut series "The W" is already in development at Peacock—and we are here for it!Finally, in What We’re Digging, Uchenna gushes over the unstoppable Victoria Monét—from Grammy wins to Davido collabs to toddler mom vibes. She’s intentional, talented, and finally in her season.
Episode 10 - Waka Pass: Protect Your Peace, Even OnlineThis week’s Wednesday Wahala is a reminder that sometimes, the best response is no response. Uchenna shares a real-life story about a simple question in a Black mom Facebook group that turned into an unnecessary debate about labels — and what it taught us about how people show up (or show out) online.✨ In this episode:* How online “safe spaces” can feel anything but safe* The temptation to clap back vs. the freedom to waka pass (walk away)* 5 tips to help you know when to respond and when to protect your peace* A real-world reality check: your “private” comments can follow you offline👉🏾 Bottom line: You don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to. Sometimes the classiest move is to log off and go about your day.🙌 Praise Report: Coach Ime UdokaWe’re giving flowers to Coach Ime Udoka, who turned the Houston Rockets into a 52-win team and showed us what redemption looks like in real life. From NBA Finals runs to second chances, he’s proof that you can fall, get back up, and lead with purpose. Houston sees you, Coach — and we’re rooting for you!✨ What We’re Digging: SaltairAbby’s pick this week is Saltair — the body care line that’s serving spa vibes on a budget.Her faves:*Santal Bloom — grown woman energy with sandalwood and amber*Pink Beach — coconut cream, vanilla, and salty air in a bottleBrown Sugar Babe stays in rotation, but Saltair is giving soft life luxury for your shower routine.💬 Listen, share, and tag us!Which online drama are you leaving unread? Have you mastered the waka pass? Let us know — and tell us which Saltair scent we need next!🎧 Listen wherever you get your podcasts!#WednesdayWahala #WakaPass #ProtectYourPeace #ImeUdoka #Saltair #ShineYourEyePodcast
Episode 8 - Scammed, Hacked, Bamboozled
In this powerful and timely episode of Shine Your Eye, we kick things off with a Praise Report honoring Kase Lukman Lawal—a Nigerian-born business titan whose name may not be trending online, but whose impact spans the globe. From founding CAMAC Holdings to leading Texas’ only Black-owned bank, Unity National Bank, Lawal has proven that you can be powerful and principled, global and grounded. We highlight his rise from Ibadan to boardrooms, his philanthropic contributions, and his role in creating access to capital for underserved communities.Then in Wednesday Wahala, we get real about something that’s hitting close to home: scams. From sophisticated phishing emails to that sneaky WhatsApp 6-digit code trick, we break down the fraud landscape and why no one—young or old, rich or broke—is safe. Abby shares a chilling story of a local Houston resident who almost lost everything in a single phone call, and we dig into the cultural side of why fast money often gets celebrated even when it comes with shady receipts. We share practical tools to protect yourself, including the S.C.A.M. method, and call for a shift in mindset—from glorifying flash to asking real questions about where money comes from.We round out the episode with “What We’re Digging,” and this week Uchenna's been binging Survival of the Thickest on Netflix. Season 2 hit different—with more heart, better pacing, and real Black joy at the center. A beautiful reminder that representation doesn’t always have to be rooted in trauma.Whether you’ve ever gotten a scammy DM or know someone flexing a little too hard online, this episode will open your eyes. Tune in, share with your people, and most importantly—shine your eye.
Episode 7 - Dating Nigerian Men: Blessing or Wahala?In this hilarious, honest, and slightly spicy episode of Shine Your Eye Podcast, Abby and Uchenna dive into one of the most requested topics in their DMs: dating Nigerian men. Is it all "sweet love and jollof" or a passport to premium wahala?We kick things off with a Praise Report celebrating Tope Awotona — the Nigerian-born tech visionary and founder of Calendly, a $3B platform revolutionizing how the world books meetings. His journey from Lagos to Silicon Valley reminds us that frustration can spark innovation — and Black brilliance is not an exception, it's a calling.Then it’s time for our main course:Why are Nigerian men trending, especially among Black women in the U.S.? From Afrobeats to TikTok thirst traps, we explore the hype, the heartbreaks, and the cultural code-switching involved in loving Naija men.💥 Topics include:Why Nigerian men are having a moment right nowThe good: strong values, big love, and that “I got you” energyThe wahala: ghosting, hidden wives, and visa dramaCulture vs. character: how tradition shapes behaviorReal advice on dating Nigerian men without losing your peaceWe close with a reminder: Love isn’t about the accent or the aesthetics — it’s about alignment, boundaries, and truth.And in What We’re Digging, we highlight the power and controversy of TikTok — the app changing lives, boosting small businesses, and creating millionaires... while fighting for survival in the U.S.🎧 Whether you’ve dated a Naija king or are just TikTok-curious, this episode is for you.
If you’re listening to this while running on fumes and your third cup of coffee... this one’s for you.In Episode 6 of Shine Your Eye Podcast, we're getting real about rest. From the sleepless trenches of early parenting to the hype around melatonin and the quiet magic of magnesium, we’re breaking down the science, the struggle, and the solutions around sleep. You’ll hear our stories, hard truths, and our favorite sleep hacks that actually work — no sleep score anxiety required.But first, this week’s Praise Report goes to Yvonne Orji and Pop the Balloon LIVE—the viral dating show that made its Netflix debut on April 10th! Originally launched on YouTube by Congolese couple Bolia “BM” Matundu and Arlette Amuli, the show has taken the world by storm. And we were extra proud to see our very own Yvonne Orji hosting the Netflix edition with brilliance and grace. Pop culture, but make it African excellence!In What We’re Digging, Uchenna is deep into Dream Count, the newest novel by literary icon Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. If you love complicated characters, messy friendships, and pandemic-era reflections, this one’s a must-read.🎧 What You’ll Hear in This Episode:Why sleep is not a luxury — it’s health care (literally!)How parenting destroys your sleep schedule and potentially your sanityMelatonin: miracle or menace?The underrated power of magnesiumWhat sleep trackers get right — and what they ruinEasy habits that actually help you fall (and stay) asleepPraise for Nigerian excellence in global media (shoutout to Yvonne Orji!)A powerful new book recommendation from Chimamanda Adichie📚 What We’re Digging:Dream Count by Chimamanda Ngozi AdichieTag us when you finish reading—we want to hear your take!✨ Episode Extras:🗣 Got a wild sleep story or a hack that changed your life?💬 DM us @shineyoureyepod or leave a comment on this week’s post.📲 Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and share with a fellow sleep-deprived soul.
Episode 5 - The Check, The Chaos, and The CultureWe’ve all been there: the group dinner that turned into a math problem. This week on Shine Your Eye, we’re breaking down the real-life chaos of splitting the bill—from the friend who orders cocktails and steak but wants to “just split it evenly,” to the awkward shortfalls and birthday dinner debates. 👀We kick off with a Praise Report celebrating Vivian Odior, the Global Head of Marketing at WhatsApp, and a proud Nigerian-American woman making serious global impact—from award-winning campaigns at Johnson & Johnson to reshaping how billions connect on WhatsApp.Then it’s time for Wednesday Wahala: we dive into the drama of check-splitting with four familiar scenarios: • The Big Spender • The Light Eater • The Shortfall Surprise • The Birthday DilemmaWe share practical, friendship-saving advice inspired by an NPR etiquette guide on how to handle group dining with grace. You’ll get tips on setting expectations upfront, discussing money without awkwardness, and remembering to include the tip (because please, don’t be that person).We also round up four helpful apps—Splitwise, Plates by Splitwise, Tab App, and Settle Up—that make check-splitting smoother and less stressful, especially in large groups.And finally, in What We’re Digging, we’re spotlighting Houston’s own Rhay’s Restaurant, an Afro-Fusion gem with serious heart, soul, and flavor. Whether it’s for a birthday dinner, date night, or your next girls’ night out—Rhay’s is the vibe.
Episode 4: The Bride Price Dilemma
This week on Shine Your Eye, we’re talking all things bride price—the traditions, the tensions, and the taboos. From million-Naira demands to symbolic token payments, Nigerian bride price culture is layered, loaded, and deeply rooted. Is it love or is it a transaction? We address the debate: should bride price be abolished, adjusted, or appreciated?
Praise Report
This week, we’re lifting up Judge Derek Obialo, the Nigerian-American judge appointed as Associate Judge of the 240th District Court in Fort Bend, Texas! His story is proof that representation matters—and that we’re out here breaking ceilings.
What We’re Digging
Abby is digging: Rent the Runway—because why buy another dress you’ll only wear once? Uchenna is not digging the size uncertainty.
Join the Conversation
Do you think bride price should still be a thing in 2025? Let us know on Instagram or TikTok @shineyoureyepod
Support the Podcast:Follow, rate, and share with your tribe!
#ShineYourEyePod #BridePriceDebate #JudgeObialo #NigerianPodcast #RentTheRunwayFails #WednesdayWahala
Episode 3 – Traveling While African (and American)
This week, we unpack the viral WhatsApp post that sparked confusion in African communities worldwide. It told the story of an Ivorian-American woman allegedly denied reentry into the U.S. for using her Ivorian passport to travel abroad—and returning with her American one.
We break down:
What U.S. law actually says about dual citizenship and using your American passport.
Why this viral post caused so much fear—and why it may be more fear-mongering than fact.
The facts on birthright citizenship, the 14th Amendment, and Trump’s January 2025 Executive Order.
What rights you do (and don’t) lose when you travel internationally as a dual national.
A breakdown of how and when the U.S. government can revoke your citizenship (spoiler: it’s rare).
Plus, Praise Report: Uchenna spotlights Dr. Norman Ajiboye, a Nigerian-American neurologist transforming stroke care in South Florida.
And, What We're Digging: The local library. Check yours out!!
Key Takeaways:
Yes, you must use your U.S. passport to enter and exit the U.S. if you’re a citizen.
No, simply using your other passport abroad doesn’t mean you’ve broken the law.
Executive Orders don’t change the Constitution—but they can scare folks into dangerous choices.
Don’t fall for fear tactics—shine your eye!
Join the conversation:
What would you do if you were a dual citizen at the airport?
Would you support limits on birthright citizenship?
Episode 2: Fertility, Fortune, and Heartache
In this powerful episode of Shine Your Eye, Abby and Uchenna hold space for a raw and honest conversation about fertility, surrogacy, and the emotional rollercoaster that comes with trying to build a family—especially in the spotlight.
Inspired by the latest season of Young, African & Famous, Wednesday Wahala dives into Annie Idibia and Ini Edo’s stories, unpacking how culture, public perception, and societal pressure shape the way African women navigate motherhood. From the highs of fortune to the silent heartaches, we explore how mental health is deeply tied to these journeys and discuss the complexities of public opinion and private pain—what it means to carry the weight of expectations while fighting your own personal battles.
In our Praise Report, we celebrate Pearlena Igbokwe, a Nigerian-American powerhouse changing the game in television and showing us what’s possible when you lead with vision and strength. And in What We’re Digging, we’re vibing with Brown Sugar Babe—a platform reminding Black women everywhere to take up space, honor their softness, and bask in their brilliance.
Come for the convo, stay for the healing. And as always—shine your eye.
Join the Conversation:
Follow us on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook for more updates and behind-the-scenes content.
🔗 Follow & Subscribe – Please don’t forget to rate, review, and share the podcast!
Welcome to the very first episode of Shine Your Eye! In this inaugural episode, co-hosts Abby and Uchenna introduce themselves and share the inspiration behind launching this podcast. Get to know their backgrounds, what brought them together, and what listeners can expect from future episodes. This is just the beginning—so get ready for unfiltered conversations, sharp insights, and a whole lot of real talk.
What We Cover in This Episode:
• Who we are: Meet Abby & Uchenna
• Why we started Shine Your Eye
• The meaning behind the name
• What you can expect from this podcast
• A sneak peek at upcoming topics
Join the Conversation:
Follow us on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook for more updates and behind-the-scenes content.
🔗 Follow & Subscribe – Please don’t forget to rate, review, and share the podcast!
