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Secrets of a Sober Mom
Underdog Podcasts
22 episodes
4 months ago
For all of the moms who have felt chained to their bottles who are suffering in silence as we did. For the moms who put on a mask every day for those around them. For the moms who are sick and tired of being sick and tired. You are in the right place. Come on in. Leslie Shapiro, a New York/New Jersey native, and Vanessa Merlini, a Seattle native, hit it off when they met in a recovery meeting at the beginning of the global pandemic in March of 2020. Leslie's direct and witty approach, combined with Vanessa's gentle spirit creates a space for healing, honest conversations, and friendship that everyone can relate to. Whether you have been sober for 10 minutes, 10 years, or not sober at all, please join us as we get to know each other - literally! We will talk about our recovery journeys and do our part to reduce the shame and stigma associated with being a mom and being an alcoholic/addict. A spectacular life is possible. We promise.
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Personal Journals
Society & Culture,
Relationships
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All content for Secrets of a Sober Mom is the property of Underdog Podcasts and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.
For all of the moms who have felt chained to their bottles who are suffering in silence as we did. For the moms who put on a mask every day for those around them. For the moms who are sick and tired of being sick and tired. You are in the right place. Come on in. Leslie Shapiro, a New York/New Jersey native, and Vanessa Merlini, a Seattle native, hit it off when they met in a recovery meeting at the beginning of the global pandemic in March of 2020. Leslie's direct and witty approach, combined with Vanessa's gentle spirit creates a space for healing, honest conversations, and friendship that everyone can relate to. Whether you have been sober for 10 minutes, 10 years, or not sober at all, please join us as we get to know each other - literally! We will talk about our recovery journeys and do our part to reduce the shame and stigma associated with being a mom and being an alcoholic/addict. A spectacular life is possible. We promise.
Show more...
Personal Journals
Society & Culture,
Relationships
Episodes (20/22)
Secrets of a Sober Mom
Marriage and Merlot: How Drinking Can Affect You and Your Spouse
Few things can put a strain on marriage more than when one person is struggling with alcoholism. It can shake the foundation of trust and put the entire family in jeopardy. In marriages where one partner struggles with alcoholism, the non-addicted spouse carries the responsibility for two people, including care of the children both emotionally and physically. The need to support and find appropriate treatment for the addicted loved one becomes overwhelming, frustrating, and terrifying. The quality of a marriage depends greatly upon the way we communicate with each other. It depends not only on what we say but how we say it; not only on what we do but our motives for doing it. When partners in a marriage are held together by a bond of love, mutual respect, and a desire to please and comfort, communication naturally falls into patterns that express these feelings and give both husband and wife confidence in each other and a sense of security and mutual dependence. When a relationship is distorted by an unbalanced dependence, or by suspicion, hostility, excessive demands, and expectations, these flaws are exacerbated by alcohol and can make marriage impossible to sustain In this episode, Vanessa and I talk very candidly about the role alcohol played in our marriage, dating, and sex life and how our spouses ultimately became the victims of our disease.
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4 years ago
1 hour 30 minutes 1 second

Secrets of a Sober Mom
The Power of Choice: How a Simple Pause Can Change Everything
"Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." Viktor Frankl In this episode, we discuss how to find and harness this elusive "space" between an event and our response. How this simple space, when used with intention, can lead to significant change and freedom. When we are in an active addiction we feel like we have little control over what we say or do, as if we are acting on autopilot and reacting to everything. We can feel like we are controlled by life and that our decisions are made from a place of throwing our hands up in the air and being resigned to "this is the way it is always going to be". No, this is not the way that it always has to be! It is impossible to notice that we have agency over our choices until we decide to look for a different way of responding to life. Looking for that space between stimulus and response and seeing that therein lies a CHOICE. Join us as we discuss the power of choice and how it has changed with our time in sobriety.
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4 years ago
54 minutes 59 seconds

Secrets of a Sober Mom
Sober Holidays
Vanessa and I talk about how the holidays can be a painful time for alcoholics and their families. The memories of years past—sometimes more like nightmares—can induce fear and stress. We may feel resentful that we cannot drink like "a normal person and these resentments may make us and our families anything but happy to be together. We discuss setting realistic expectations for ourselves as other people in our lives probably haven't changed, and many of the conflicts that crop up at family reunions will doubtless crop up again. Accept it, roll with the punches, and rein in the urge to manipulate everything and everyone. It will be enough for you to take care of and control yourself. Lastly, we discuss how we let gratitude carry us and we were able to give the holidays a deeper meaning. It wasn't easy but a powerful step in sobriety- we are celebrating a new, better, and sober life that we have created.
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4 years ago
39 minutes 6 seconds

Secrets of a Sober Mom
Welcome to Season Two!
We are back! We have really missed you and are so excited to kick-off season 2 with an exciting new change. Vanessa Merlini joins the Secrets of a Sober Mom team as a cohost. Hear how an east coast girl from New Jersey comes together with a west coast girl from Seattle in a time of Covid-19. How we had a vision about how to share with you our incredible stories and insight about our journey through recovery. With our similar core values but different approaches and styles, you will get a glimpse into how we make a perfect team.
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4 years ago
32 minutes 25 seconds

Secrets of a Sober Mom
Season 2 ZOOM Promo
We are looking forward to a fabulous season 2! Please help us kick-off the season with a zoom meeting. This is a great way to get to know us and learn about the podcast if you have never tuned in. The Zoom Meeting can be found here: Time: Nov 9, 2020 08:00 PM Eastern Time (US and Canada) https://us05web.zoom.us/j/81613160508?pwd=REpXMmlOcTZWeTZKMHU3RVg5TWNXdz09 Meeting ID: 849 6472 8399 Passcode: 72U2sj Follow me on Social Media: Leslie Shapiro on Facebook, leslieshapiro_ on Instagram. If you have five minutes, five hours, five days, five years, or if you are just sober curious, please join us. I know what it feels like to be chained to the bottle. I know what it feels like to be terrified to continue drinking but also be terrified to stop. I promise, there is a solution. Looking forward to meeting everyone next Monday at 8 pm!
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5 years ago
1 minute 44 seconds

Secrets of a Sober Mom
Hope and a Higher Power
In this season finale episode, I talk to MY sponsor Tara about hope and higher power and sponsorship. Tara is a mother of 2 and has 16 years sober. Her kindness and wisdom to me have been truly a gift. It is great to have her on the show to wrap up this first season of this show, which has played a big part in my continued recovery. It is always special when you are in recovery and you connect with someone whom you admire and respect. We talk about the fierce love we both have for our children and family and how living a sober life has enabled us to become the very best version of ourselves.
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5 years ago
37 minutes 4 seconds

Secrets of a Sober Mom
First Love - Full Circle (Kind Of)
In this episode, I go down memory lane with my very first young love Gregg. We reminisce about how we were both such straight-arrow kids, the fun we had as adolescents in love and how we lost touch for decades, and how we reconnected as recovering addicts. Gregg shares his story about being a big wig on Wall Street to losing it all. Like so many of us, Gregg was given the desperation and decided to turn hods life around for his young daughter. Through the help of a 12 step program, loving friends and family, He now is living a wonderful life of recovery and proudly shares his story to help others who are struggling.
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5 years ago
54 minutes 54 seconds

Secrets of a Sober Mom
The Gift of Failure: A Conversation with Jessica Lahey
Jessica is a teacher, writer, and mom. Over twenty years, she's taught every grade from sixth to twelfth in both public and private schools. She writes about education, parenting, and child welfare for The Atlantic, Vermont Public Radio, The Washington Post and the New York Times and is the author of the New York Times bestselling book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed. She is a member of the Amazon Studios Thought Leader Board and wrote the educational curriculum for Amazon Kids' The Stinky and Dirty Show.
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5 years ago
48 minutes 52 seconds

Secrets of a Sober Mom
Getting Dirty and Staying Clean: A Conversation with Amy Dresner
Amy Dresner is a journalist, author, and former comedian as well as a recovering addict and alcoholic. She has been a columnist for the addiction/recovery magazine TheFix.com since 2012 and has freelanced for addiction.com, Psychology Today, Vice, and many other publications. In this episode, Amy and I touch on many topics including service to others, recognizing that there are many paths to recovery and of course her wildly funny and poignant book, My Fair Junkie: A Memoir of Getting Dirty and Staying Clean. Amy talks openly and honestly and about her 20 year battle with sex, drugs and alcohol addiction, and what happens when she finally emerges on the other side. Catch her new Podcast Rehab Confidential-You will learn and laugh until your ribs hurt.
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5 years ago
41 minutes 41 seconds

Secrets of a Sober Mom
Mommy Wine Culture, Mommy Shame and the Joy of Sobriety
This week I'm speaking with my friend Vanessa Merlini about "Mommy wine culture," "Mommy Shame," and then the best of all, what it's like to be a sober Mom. Like so many of us, Vanessa was searching for door #3 unwilling to face what needed to be done. Fortunately, she was given the gift of desperation and found a solution through a recovery program. Vanessa's journey with sobriety has evolved through the years as she has learned, there are many paths to recovery. Through hard work, service to others, and rigorous honesty, she is a sober mom, wife, and friend.
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5 years ago
45 minutes 6 seconds

Secrets of a Sober Mom
Father and Daughter
My dad passed away before I got sober. I will regret that for the rest of my life. Fortunately, he wasn't alive to see descend into a life of hell. I honestly don't think he could handle seeing his daughter slowly kill herself. I was lucky to have a wonderful father. I know many didn't get that chance. He always told me the world was mine to grab by the ass. I wish he knew that's exactly how I'm living today. Maybe he does know. As alcoholics, we hurt those closest to us. They become the recipients of our destruction and punch them hardest because they relentlessly try and save us. We are the best and worst of our parents. I can live with that.
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5 years ago
12 minutes 9 seconds

Secrets of a Sober Mom
Girl Walks out of a Bar - Breaking the Stigma
Lisa Smith and I have a conversation about breaking the stigma of alcoholism and mental health, particularly for professional women. Lisa Smith is the author of the award-winning book, Girl Walks Out of a Bar. She is an attorney and had a very successful career in law. Her work has been published in the Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, among many others. She is a recovery coach, helping so many women towards a path of recovery. Lisa continues to write and inspire so many. More of her work can be found at www.lisasmithauthor.com and @girlwalksout on Instagram and Twitter. Lisa is also the co-host of Recovery Rocks Podcast.
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5 years ago
41 minutes 21 seconds

Secrets of a Sober Mom
10. Secrets of a Sober Guy
In this episode, I speak with a man who is so generous with his heart and mind. He shares his story and explains how alcoholism has shaped his role as a Dad, a husband, a son, and a friend. There is no "mansplaining" here . This guy is a straight shooter . "I just sucked at drinking," he said. He talks about a moment of clarity and why alcohol As a coping mechanism was no longer an option. Like many of us who know we had to get sober, he played a trust game with the universe. He fell back and he was caught .
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5 years ago
50 minutes 45 seconds

Secrets of a Sober Mom
9. Sean Chandler Talks About... Alcoholism
In this episode, I talk with YouTube star Sean Chandler. Sean was always the guy commenting on other movies since he was a little kid and always wanted to discuss them with other people. Sean loves to hear other people share their experiences with film, whether he agrees with them or not. He believes movies matter, and touch our lives in so many ways. Sean also shares his experience with alcoholism and how the death of his father from this disease, saved his own life. Watch Sean do his thing on Youtube: Sean Chandler Talks About and follow him on Instagram @Seantalksabout.
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5 years ago
1 hour 10 minutes 39 seconds

Secrets of a Sober Mom
8. Friends on the Rocks
Friends pick us up when we fall down, and if they can't pick us up, they lie down and listen for a while. Amy defines true friendship. During active addiction, we pulverize all relationships. We don't intend to do this, but sadly, it's a consequence of our drinking. In this episode Amy and I talk about some of the darkest times in my life. How she watched her friend slowly kill herself, destroy her family, and isolate everyone around her. She explains how she learned to be a friend to an alcoholic and what gave her the strength to stand by me. Amy was a part of my recovery and continues to be a part of my sobriety. I am beyond lucky to have her in my life.
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5 years ago
43 minutes 52 seconds

Secrets of a Sober Mom
7. Addiction in the Media
My son Max returns to the show to talk about how one's views of addiction can be shaped by the different ways it is depicted in fictional media. We also discuss how crucial it is for society to destigmatize addiction. The discussion of this episode is focused primarily on the Broadway musical Jagged Little Pill and the 2019 Elton John biopic Rocketman. Max is currently a sophomore in the Journalism School at the University of Missouri. He combines his knowledge of the media, his writing skills, and his heart to touch everyone.
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5 years ago
37 minutes 57 seconds

Secrets of a Sober Mom
6. Interview with Julie Stampler
In this episode, I talk with harm reductionist, Julie Stampler. Julie works passionately to support communities affected by substance abuse disorder and is dedicated to helping addicts stay alive. Substance abuse has touched Julie's life in several ways. Her brother tragically died of a heroin overdose and her stepfather Jack Fishman created naloxone, the drug used to reverse the effects of an opioid overdose. Her dedication to the opioid crisis in the United States has saved many lives. Learn more about Harm reduction, and you too can help save a life. We all know someone who is affected by drug addiction. Follow Julie on Instagram and Facebook.
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5 years ago
41 minutes 49 seconds

Secrets of a Sober Mom
5. Interview with Sarah Hepola
Do you ever feel like chunks of your life just disappeared? Did you ever wake up not knowing how you got where you are? In the episode, I talk with Sarah Hepola, author of the best selling book Blackout. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, Bloomberg, The Guardian, and many more. Sarah is an extraordinary recovery warrior and her raw, real, and honest voice is a gift. Follow her on Twitter @sarahhepola Instagram @thesarahhelolaexperience and on Facebook@facebook.com/sarah.hepola.blackout If you or someone you know needs help at this very minute please call 1-800-662-HELP (4357) you don't have to feel like this anymore.
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5 years ago
54 minutes 58 seconds

Secrets of a Sober Mom
4. Interview with Emily Paulson
In this episode, I talk with author, speaker, recovery coach, and mom Emily Paulson about the untrue stories we tell on social media and how liberating it is to finally reveal the uncut story of our lives. Emily tells us her story and how she used her platform in her business to help and empower other women. Emily wrote the book "Highlight Real: Finding Honesty and Recovery Beyond the Filtered Life" Her website is emilylynnpaulson.com. If you or someone you know needs help at this very minute please call 1-800-662-HELP (4357) you don't have to feel like this anymore.
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5 years ago
29 minutes 40 seconds

Secrets of a Sober Mom
3. Interview with Sarah Elizabeth
In this episode, I talk to my friend and host of Sober Gratitudes Podcast, Sarah Elizabeth about staying sober during difficult times. We discuss how we deal with fear and uncertainty without alcohol and share our gratitude about being sober during this scary time. We are lucky to have a program. Many of the principles and guidelines we learn in recovery are now being used by everyone; not just addicts. We will get through this together, one day at a time. If you or someone you know needs help at this very minute please call 1-800-662-HELP (4357) you don't have to feel like this anymore.
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5 years ago
53 minutes 51 seconds

Secrets of a Sober Mom
For all of the moms who have felt chained to their bottles who are suffering in silence as we did. For the moms who put on a mask every day for those around them. For the moms who are sick and tired of being sick and tired. You are in the right place. Come on in. Leslie Shapiro, a New York/New Jersey native, and Vanessa Merlini, a Seattle native, hit it off when they met in a recovery meeting at the beginning of the global pandemic in March of 2020. Leslie's direct and witty approach, combined with Vanessa's gentle spirit creates a space for healing, honest conversations, and friendship that everyone can relate to. Whether you have been sober for 10 minutes, 10 years, or not sober at all, please join us as we get to know each other - literally! We will talk about our recovery journeys and do our part to reduce the shame and stigma associated with being a mom and being an alcoholic/addict. A spectacular life is possible. We promise.