Meet Vanessa and Xander Marin, your new BFF couple friends! She’s a sex therapist with 20 years of experience and he’s a regular dude. Together they’re the shockingly open, slightly nerdy, and seriously funny couple you want to grab sushi with. They share the ups and downs in their relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours. Subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally do-able sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors, and so much more. It’s the sex education you WISH you’d had!
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Meet Vanessa and Xander Marin, your new BFF couple friends! She’s a sex therapist with 20 years of experience and he’s a regular dude. Together they’re the shockingly open, slightly nerdy, and seriously funny couple you want to grab sushi with. They share the ups and downs in their relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours. Subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally do-able sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors, and so much more. It’s the sex education you WISH you’d had!
EPISODE 198: Stop Doing THIS If You Want More Sex (Initiation Fixes You Need to Know)
Pillow Talks
54 minutes
1 month ago
EPISODE 198: Stop Doing THIS If You Want More Sex (Initiation Fixes You Need to Know)
Initiating sex in your relationship should feel exciting, not frustrating—but let’s be real… for most couples, it’s anything but smooth.
Whether you're feeling stuck, rejected, or just plain awkward when it comes to getting things started in the bedroom, today’s episode is here to help!
We surveyed our audience, and only 17% of people said they’re happy with how initiation is going in their relationship.
That means a lot of us are struggling with:
🚨 Feeling like one partner is always initiating while the other never does
🚨 Getting caught off guard and feeling pressured to have sex in the moment
🚨 Waiting until the end of the night, when you're both exhausted
🚨 Using "lazy" or unsexy initiation attempts (boob honks, anyone?)
🚨 Feeling like your partner only flirts when they want something
Sound familiar? You’re not alone. In this episode, we’re breaking down the most common mistakes couples make when initiating sex.
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🔑 What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
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✅ The #1 reason why most couples struggle with initiation
✅ Why timing matters just as much as how you initiate
✅ The major mistake that makes sex feel like a pop quiz—and what to do instead
✅ What to say (and what not to say) when initiating sex
✅ How to make your partner feel wanted instead of pressured
And of course, we’re sharing our top tool to completely transform the way you initiate—so you and your partner can experience more connection, better intimacy, and yes… way more satisfying sex!
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🔗 Links & Resources:
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👋 Art of Initiation – Get $20 Off Until March 9 → https://buy.vmtherapy.com/art-of-initiation-special?ref=podcast-198&utm_term=podcast-198
📚 Other Resources Mentioned:
✨ Figure out your initiation style—so you and your partner can find what actually works for you → https://free.vmtherapy.com/initiation-style-guide
✨ Foreplay Guides, Ultimate Sex Guide, & More! → https://vmtherapy.com/courses?ref=podcast-198&utm_term=podcast-198
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📲 Stay Connected with Us!
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💌 Join our email list for exclusive tips & discounts ➡️ https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe
📸 Follow us on Instagram for daily relationship inspo ➡️https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander
New episodes drop every Thursday! Make sure you’re subscribed so you never miss an episode.
And if this episode made you rethink how you and your partner initiate (or if you saw yourself in some of these mistakes 😅), send it to them and start the conversation!
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Pillow Talks
Meet Vanessa and Xander Marin, your new BFF couple friends! She’s a sex therapist with 20 years of experience and he’s a regular dude. Together they’re the shockingly open, slightly nerdy, and seriously funny couple you want to grab sushi with. They share the ups and downs in their relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours. Subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally do-able sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors, and so much more. It’s the sex education you WISH you’d had!
