Manchester United are back baby. Rest in Piss the bad times 2013-2025. This is definitely a REAL dawn as Ruben Amorin beat their bogey team Brighton 4-2 at home to make 3 consecutive wins in the Premier League for Man United. What next for The Red Devils and, more importantly, what happens to that guy when he cuts his hair? Smart money is on a sharp veer into the far right. Liverpool continue to slide down the table as Brentford's long throws and pressure cooker tactics consigned Liverp...

Who do Man United think they are? Playing a low block and not starting Sesko? Have they no honour? These were the words of Arne Slot as Man United beat Liverpool in Anfield in the Premier League for the first time since 2016. The Liverpool spiral continues with it now being 4 games lost in a row and the pressure is starting to mount on Arne Slot, especially with former boss Jurgen Klopp announcing his thoughts on potentially returning on the Diary of a CEO podcast. Man United were saved once ...

Ireland managed to just about cling on to World Cup qualifying hopes, with a win over 10 men Armenia in a deathly quiet Aviva stadium. Ireland also came very close to getting a draw away to Portugal, but it wasn't to be after some questionable refereeing decisions from a ref that seemed to be ecstatic to be on the same pitch as Cristiano Ronaldo. We cast an eye over some other results in the World Cup qualifiers featuring great performances from Haaland and some not so great performances from...

The Liverpool spiral/finding out/crisis continued as they lost their third game on the bounce, this time to a last minute Chelsea winner. Is it just as simple as the give it to Salah system starting to fail? Erling Haaland continued his dominant form with a 'proper' goal against Brentford where he showed once again that he is miles ahead of the rest..except for Nick Woltemade that is! Can Cathal remember the three games he watched this weekend? Ange Postecoglou's stint at Forest goes from bad...

The curse of games past returned to haunt Liverpool as once again Crystal Palace proved to be their bogey team, with Palace winning 2-1 and now becoming the only unbeaten team in the league. Does this spell trouble for Liverpool that has been coming for a while? Or is this just a blip before they get back to extending their league at the top? The unlikable derby delivered once again as Arsenal beat Newcastle with a last minute winner. In a game where Arsenal moaned, punched and kicked their w...

In a season that promised so much in the first few weeks, we have quickly devolved back into 007 and best player in the world right now posts as Liverpool go five points clear after five games played. Arsenal went conservative against Man City and eeked out a draw thanks to a 90+ minute equaliser from Martinelli. But is their failure to get at the Man City's of the world a sign that this won't be their year once again? Enzo Maresca had a tough week as he had human rights inspectors banging on...

The new era of the pod continues with a real honest to goodness in person video episode that gets rudely interupted half way through! The Premier League is back after the Ireland's international incident, and its like Ange Postecoglou never left! He's cracking jokes, looking down at the floor and his team is getting absolutely torn apart by Arsenal. You'd fear for Graham Potter and West Ham as they are hammered 3-0 by Spurs. But as they slide toward relegation spots, are the fans thinking at ...

"The time for excuses is over" was the sound coming out of the Ireland camp coming into this set of World Cup qualifiers, and at 2-0 down after 20 minutes against Hungary it seemed like we were more doomed than ever.. A moment of madness that brought Hungary down to 10 men let us back into the game thanks to a non stop barrage from Jake O Brien and co. Was Matt Doherty set up for failure as Heimir's revenge? During the week, news broke that Daniel Levy was "stepping down" from his role at Tot...

Send us a text The Transfer Window officially slammed shut and with that brings the official end of the summer. We have the full list of every single Premier League '#HereWeGo' from deadline day and take a look at some of the winners and losers of the window. Arsenal probably had a chance to get a win over Liverpool and create some distance in the race for the title, but being over cautious in the game cost them in the end. We sift through the ashes of the Man United Grimsby game and the glob...

The second gameweek of the Premier League did a lot of zigs where we expected zags. Arsenal steamrolled Leeds 5-0, with thanks to two goals from Viktor Gyökeres, a player who everyone (us) had written off after his debut last week. Man United are firmly back in crisis mode after a devastating draw against a Fulham team that are every bit as good as them. Not everything has changed in the Premier League this year as Spurs beat Man City as is tradition. Can Thomas Frank keep this momentum going...

We are so back ladies and gentlemen. As a new Premier League season kicked off with some big games and weird interviews. Liverpool kicked off the season with an emotional and controversial 4-2 win over Bournemouth. In a game which saw great performances from new signings, not so good performances from others, tributes galore to Diogo Jota and a racist fan incident. After the game, Arne Slot appeared for his mandated casual post game chat with Jamie Carragher and co. Little did Arne know that ...

A new Premier League season is upon us and it's actually shaping up to be the most unpredictable in years! We talk about what we learned from most people's favourites for the title Liverpool's loss to Crystal Palace in the Community Shield. Speaking of Liverpool what is going on with Isak? And is this the year Salah starts to put his feet up? It's now or never for Arsenal it seems, which seems hugely unfair to a club that's done everything right over the last few years in terms of getting to ...

As more transfers are confirmed, it's a new era for the pod where we will be getting everyones name right - starting with Gyökeres. One of the stranger failed transfers in history came to its conclusion as Morgan Gibbs White signed a new contract with Nottingham Forest, putting an end to the 'Here We Go' to Tottenham. All thanks to the fine work of Mr Marinakis. Speaking of Mr Marinakis, what is going on with him and John Textor? And why is a new Botafogo player arriving every week to Forest?...

The transfer window kicked in to gear this week with many moves crossing from tittle tattle to "HERE WE GO!" Evan Ferguson has made the move on loan to Roma of all places. Can he restore his career to the dizzying heights of two seasons ago? Is this a sign that Brighton can get things wrong? In terms of transfers moving at a snails pace you won't find slower than two that got the full Fabrizio Romano treatment over the last few months, Viktor Gyökeres to Arsenal and Bryan Mbeumo to Man United...

The biggest Club World Cup final in history. The first one, but still the biggest. Huge game. So important they said we have to delay the Mean Machine review. That’s how big it was. Chelsea - great club, very classy - destroyed PSG. People were shocked. I wasn’t. I’ve always said Chelsea wins when I’m watching. First team to win the new Club World Cup. First to win everything. Total domination. Very historic. I gave a beautiful halftime interview - people said it was the best ever - and then ...

You Couldn't Write It rolls on as we go to the other side of the world to watch and review Shaolin Soccer. In a world where every movie must have a slow motion kung fu action scene, renegade wrtier/actor/director Stephen Chow's Shaolin Soccer ties the beautiful worlds of football and over the top whacky anime action together. Featuring some of the best football we've seen so far, some of the funniest dialogue we've heard and far and away the most disgusting scene of the summer. Support the sh...

Our summer of film reviews continues as we bring you the latest episode of You Couldn't Write It. This week we're reviewing one of the most well known American Soccer movies of all time - Kicking and Screaming. Will Ferrell isn't quite at the peak of his powers here but he seems to put it all together 45 minutes in to the film. Mike Ditka steals the show with a genuinely great comedic performance. What is it with Americans and running in a triangle shape during football films? What the hell w...

It's the big one, the one you've all been waiting for. It's the Air Bud 3 World Pup review... we're so sorry. Join us as we breakdown probably the worst film either of us have ever seen. Bad lessons, unlikable characters, very little Air Bud, nonsense plotlines and an incredibly damaging cameo from the US Womens National Team. Air Bud 3 has it all. Support the show Want to support us and also get some sweet bonus exclusive pods? Head to patreon.com/nononsensepod where you can get access to: ...

Travel back with us to the glorious early 2000's as we take you through a cult classic and arguably the most popular football film of all time - Bend it Like Beckham. Which much less beloved Man United legend was the film initially going to be named after? How did it become such a success? Why is the football so bad in the football film? Why is Jonathan Rhys Meyers so creepy as the coach? All of this and much more! Support the show Want to support us and also get some sweet bonus exclusive po...

Rumours of Cristiano Ronaldo's demise have been greatly exaggerated as he lifted yet another trophy and scored yet another important goal, this time helping Portugal lift the 'coveted' Nations League title against rivals Spain. Ronaldo just keeps going and just keeps scoring, and it must be becoming a bit of a headache for the Portugal team...or is it? The starboy once again lit up the game as Lamine Yamal put his money where his mouth is once again by calling his shot and then taking it, thi...