Episode 45 is all about how to identify narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), and how to leave. If you think you have been a victim of narcissistic abuse, there is help.
What is a narcissist and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)? NPD is a disorder in which a person has an inflated sense of self-importance.
Narcissists have a high sense of grandiosity, self entitlement, feel entitled to special treatment, need to be in control, lack empathy, and act as though rules don't apply to them. They need praise, validation, only surround themselves with other high achievers, they have a superiority complex, and use people as a utility or to boost their own self-esteem. They have high levels of defensiveness, explosive anger, or "jekyll and hyde behaviour". They have a lack of boundaries and lack empathy. They will never apologize or take accountability for their actions if they hurt you. Four stages of a narcissistic relationship:
1. Love bombing or idealization phase: they will put you on a pedestal, coming on very strong, the goal is to accelerate the relationship timeline to obtain power, control, and reliancy to manipulate you. The narcissist will mirror you and put on a "false-self" in order to gain your approval and love or praise.
2. Devaluation phase: slowly chipping away at your confidence, or gaslighting you to believe that your needs don't matter. They make you question your reality, bare minimum asks, calling you too needy, too sensitive and your needs don't matter.
3. Discard: This could mean a breakup or discard from the narcissist, or silent treatment. When the narcissist is no longer getting what they want from you, or lack of "supply" to their ego, they will discard you. The victim could also discard the narcissist.
4. Hoover or repetition back to the lovebomb phase: a tactic of coming in and out of your life to see if they still have access to you and if you will continue putting up with their emotional abuse and manipulation tactics. ••••How to avoid a narcissist relationship:
1. Take things slow in the early stages of getting to know someone.
2. Set boundaries, and see how the other person responds to your boundaries.
3. Know your worth and walk away from a relationship where your needs are not being met or you are being mistreated. Don't settle for the bare minimum when someone says you're asking for too much, or you're being too sensitive.
4. Stay in community with family and friends. Narcissists love to isolate you from friends or family and make you become dependant on them. Surround yourself with positive, loving and happy people.
5. Spot love bombing early. Constant attention, wanting to see you, gifts, love letters, trips, dates, over-excessive acts of love and wanting to rush into a relationship. There are high-levels of urgency early on in a relationship.
6. Self-care. Trust your intuition
7. Don't react to the abuse and stay calm when someone is instigating you or abusing you.
8. Leave safely. Often you will never get real closure from a narcissist. Go no contact, heal, and move on peacefully with your life.
••Terms to know:
1. Narcissistic supply 2) Triangulation 3) Isolation. 4) mirroring. 5) bread crumbing 6) reactive abuse. 7) covert narcissist. 8) blame shifting •• Other creators who can help with healing from narcissistic abuse: Dr. Ramani Durvasula (YouTube and author of Should I Stay or Should I Go?), Narcissistic Abuse Recovery coach Danish Bashir (@narcabusecoach on Instagram); Marcus Weaver (@weav_told_me on Instagram), Lee Hammock (@mentalhealnesss on Instagram), Synthia Smith (@_synful_ on Instagram).
Visit www.mysupremeself.com to download the eBook on healing from narcissistic abuse, and processing our past and emotions, and follow My Supreme Self on IG: https://www.instagram.com/mysupremeself/ for more helpful resources on mindfulness and healing. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify for updates on new episodes.
Show more...
