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INFP Thrive for Enneagram 9s
Mindset & Communication Coach Sarah Mikutel
40 episodes
4 months ago
What do abandoned mansions in Bucharest have to do with dirty dishes and emotional resentment? In this episode, I explore how our desire for fairness can lead us to self-sabotage — and how Stoic justice asks us to think beyond pride, punishment, and being right. We’ll walk through a real-world example of decades-long property disputes, connect it to the Ultimatum Game in behavioral economics, and look at how these same dynamics show up in our everyday relationships — from family drama to who ...
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Self-Improvement
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What do abandoned mansions in Bucharest have to do with dirty dishes and emotional resentment? In this episode, I explore how our desire for fairness can lead us to self-sabotage — and how Stoic justice asks us to think beyond pride, punishment, and being right. We’ll walk through a real-world example of decades-long property disputes, connect it to the Ultimatum Game in behavioral economics, and look at how these same dynamics show up in our everyday relationships — from family drama to who ...
Show more...
Self-Improvement
Personal Journals,
Education,
Society & Culture,
Health & Fitness,
Mental Health
Episodes (20/40)
INFP Thrive for Enneagram 9s
Why You'd Rather Lose Than Be Treated Unfairly
What do abandoned mansions in Bucharest have to do with dirty dishes and emotional resentment? In this episode, I explore how our desire for fairness can lead us to self-sabotage — and how Stoic justice asks us to think beyond pride, punishment, and being right. We’ll walk through a real-world example of decades-long property disputes, connect it to the Ultimatum Game in behavioral economics, and look at how these same dynamics show up in our everyday relationships — from family drama to who ...
Show more...
4 months ago
10 minutes

INFP Thrive for Enneagram 9s
The Truth about Mr. Darcy + Nonviolent Communication Tips for Conflict Resolution
Mr. Darcy has been on my mind this week. Not because he’s the fantasy of so many women, but because I finally read Pride and Prejudice, and discovered something shocking (to me) about him. I’d always thought of Mr. Darcy as this tall, brooding, misunderstood character. The fabulously wealthy, handsome man who everyone thinks is a jerk, but secretly has a heart of gold and wants to take care of you. This is why women have been obsessed with him for hundreds of years. The strong, silent, m...
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10 months ago
14 minutes

INFP Thrive for Enneagram 9s
How to Combat Speaking Anxiety with Stoicism: Stoicon 2024 Talk
Last week, I gave one of the lightning talks at Stoicon 2024. The topic: How to Combat Speaking Anxiety with Stoicism.Want to see the video? Head to my Substack 👉 Citizens of the WorldThanks for listening ❤️sarahmikutel.com
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1 year ago
9 minutes

INFP Thrive for Enneagram 9s
Conflict: 4 Stoic Solutions for Managing Difficult Conversations
Why do we get angry? How can we challenge our immediate reactions? And what's the best way to articulate our feelings without passive aggression or a blow-up? In this episode, you'll learn four Stoic tips to turn potential conflicts into opportunities for personal growth and stronger relationships.
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1 year ago
7 minutes

INFP Thrive for Enneagram 9s
Find the Good in this Very Moment
I’m reading David Fideler’s excellent book Breakfast with Seneca, where he quotes Seneca in one of his letters: “If you want to escape your troubles, you don't need to be somewhere else: you need to be someone else.” Those searching for meaning or purpose in life might think a new place will provide answers. But a new location, a new job, a new partner doesn’t guarantee a better life or a fresh start. Finding purpose involves understanding your values, interests, and goals. It’...
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1 year ago
10 minutes

INFP Thrive for Enneagram 9s
4 Best Tips to Communicate with Intent and Impact (Stoic style)
Our intentions don’t always line up with our outcomes, and misunderstandings lead to anger, sadness, frustration, and conflict. In this episode, I’ll talk about intent vs impact, which is more important, and how to effectively and ethically communicate your intentions. Of course, I’ll be weaving in the timeless wisdom of the Stoics.Hi, I’m Sarah Mikutel, your communication and mindset coach, an Enneagram 9 expat in England, and practicing Stoic. Introverts come to me to learn to speak c...
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1 year ago
17 minutes

INFP Thrive for Enneagram 9s
Overcome Speaking Anxiety with Stoic Psychology
Introvert Emergency Kit Click here if you're ready to become a less anxious, more charismatic public speaker.When it comes to public speaking, what exactly are you afraid of? Most people I talk to don’t explore their fears at all – and this makes them worse. The thought of public speaking brings up such uncomfortable feelings that they try to ignore them or stuff them down – which is why they continue to suffer from speaking anxiety, one of the most common fears in the world.&n...
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2 years ago
19 minutes

INFP Thrive for Enneagram 9s
How to Stop (Negative) Self-Comparison and Increase Your Confidence
We often hear how negative self-comparisons can be, especially when it comes to social media. But what if we could use comparison as a force for good? A tool to help us grow and flourish at work and in our personal lives? Great news, we can!Today you’ll learn how to stop negatively comparing yourself to others and start measuring your progress in healthier and more productive ways. Plus, you’ll learn the scientific theory about why you’re actually more likable the less perfect you are.H...
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2 years ago
20 minutes

INFP Thrive for Enneagram 9s
Stop Numbing Out and Start Thriving: Self-Mastery is an Act of Self-Love
Let's be real. We are smart people with an unhelpful habit of numbing out instead of taking action on our dreams. If you relate with any of the following then listen to this episode ASAP:- find it difficult to stay motivated and focused on goals- tendency to give in to distractions and urges that hinder progress- struggle with procrastination and over-indulgence in unproductive activities- regularly break commitments to yourself but never other peopleWe all have our vices. That could be ...
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2 years ago
30 minutes

INFP Thrive for Enneagram 9s
When People Interrupt You, Do This
Ever been cut off mid-sentence and feel a whirlwind of emotions – frustration, anger, embarrassment? Why do we, as Enneagram 9s, take interruptions so personally, and how can we handle them with grace? I'm your host, Sarah Mikutel, and in this episode, I dive into effective communication and mindset strategies that will help you be seen and heard. By the end, you'll be equipped to handle interruptions confidently, communicate effectively, and enjoy life with less anxiety. https://sarahm...
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2 years ago
21 minutes

INFP Thrive for Enneagram 9s
Stoic Leadership: Lessons from the Greatest Generation
What do courage and resilience truly mean?This Memorial Day, I reflect on the incredible bravery of the 'Greatest Generation' during World War II, drawing inspiration from my visits to historic locations such as Auschwitz and Churchill's War Rooms in London. From blackouts to rationing, the everyday experiences of European civilians during WWII serve as a testament to human resilience. In the film Saving Private Ryan, a dying Captain Miller says to Matt Damon's character: "Earn this." He was ...
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2 years ago
26 minutes

INFP Thrive for Enneagram 9s
When You Think People Are Judging You
Have you ever noticed how our thoughts and reactions can create unnecessary stress, or cultivate empathy and understanding for others? On a recent flight to Florida, I was reminded of the power of perception and emotional resiliency. I share the story of passengers clapping after a smooth landing, the reactions of those around me as a father rushed to exit the plane, and how the simple words of a child turned turbulence into an exciting adventure.Inspired by the wisdom of Epictetus, we'll dis...
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2 years ago
6 minutes

INFP Thrive for Enneagram 9s
The Key to the Good Life: Who You’re With on the Journey
Harvard researchers have been studying what makes people happy for decades. Since 1938, they’ve been following the same people, and then their families, to learn more about what makes a good life. This is the longest-running study of its kind involving hundreds of people across different walks of life. JFK was even involved when he was a student. So what did they discover in this happiness survey? Money, fame, and awards don’t lead to long-term happiness. Here’s what does — goo...
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2 years ago
21 minutes

INFP Thrive for Enneagram 9s
Sign Up Now: Goal-Setting Workshop Jan 14
I’m hosting a 2023 Goal-Mapping Workshop on Jan. 14. It’s free and a replay will be available for a few days after if you register in advance. This isn’t a lecture – it’s a very interactive session. You’ll:Create a vision for your year that aligns with your values and prioritiesBreak down your big goals into manageable tasks that don't overwhelm youDevelop a plan of action to stay on track and avoid procrastinationPrioritize your tasks and projects in a way that helps you stay focused an...
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2 years ago
3 minutes

INFP Thrive for Enneagram 9s
Keep Your Commitments: The Real Reason People Won’t Change
Around January 1, we set goals that we intend to keep. But most of us break these vows before the month is over – why? What’s the real reason people won’t change? And how can we use Stoicism and modern psychology to start? To truly be free and move forward, we need to cultivate helpful thoughts and let go of unhelpful ones. This is how we become resilient and learn to flow with life instead of fighting it. But what if you’re not even aware of your unhelpful thoughts? &nbs...
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2 years ago
14 minutes

INFP Thrive for Enneagram 9s
Auld Lang Syne: What It Means and Why It Matters
What does Auld Lang Syne mean and why is its message so important?Find out in this episode.Also, Happy New Year! What are your intentions for this year?https://sarahmikutel.com/
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2 years ago
5 minutes

INFP Thrive for Enneagram 9s
This Is Your Second Chance: Stay Present For It
It’s that time of year when we encourage each other to slow down, appreciate what we have, and be present with others. But how do we stay in the moment when our minds keep drifting to what’s happening next week, or what occurred 10 years ago? That’s what this episode is about.Sarahmikutel.com
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2 years ago
15 minutes

INFP Thrive for Enneagram 9s
Goals! How to Achieve Your New Year’s Resolutions
“Putting things off is the biggest waste of life,” Seneca says, “it snatches away each day as it comes, and denies us the present by promising the future. The greatest obstacle to living is expectancy, which hangs upon tomorrow and loses today.” Seneca, On the Shortness of Life.Most of us don’t follow through on our New Year’s Resolutions because we treat them like wishes and not goals. Ideally, if we want to achieve a goal, we map out a plan to achieve it and follow through. Today’s episode ...
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3 years ago
25 minutes

INFP Thrive for Enneagram 9s
How to Live More Courageously Part 2
Quick reminder in case you need it…Even if you don’t feel like a particularly courageous person, you’ve acted bravely at some point in your life. Maybe you stood up for someone. Traveled solo. Moved abroad. Said no. Admitted when you were wrong. Jumped out of a plane. Cried in front of someone. You have what it takes to show up courageously every day, but that doesn’t just magically happen. Here are four daily practices you can do to build your courage (a core Stoic virtue) and res...
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3 years ago
14 minutes

INFP Thrive for Enneagram 9s
How to Live More Courageously Part 1
We live in an age of cowards. Of people going along with the crowd because it’s the easy thing to do. It feels safer to throw stones at the other side than it does to stand for something positive and hopeful. There’s risk in questioning things and seeking other perspectives, whereas joining in the mob costs us nothing (except perhaps our character).Courage is about stretching out of your comfort zone and doing the right thing. You won’t always get congratulated for that, but, when it comes to...
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3 years ago
17 minutes

INFP Thrive for Enneagram 9s
What do abandoned mansions in Bucharest have to do with dirty dishes and emotional resentment? In this episode, I explore how our desire for fairness can lead us to self-sabotage — and how Stoic justice asks us to think beyond pride, punishment, and being right. We’ll walk through a real-world example of decades-long property disputes, connect it to the Ultimatum Game in behavioral economics, and look at how these same dynamics show up in our everyday relationships — from family drama to who ...