In the past few weeks clients of mine have: Let go of people they really liked but ultimately weren't the right fitSlowed down their dating practice to get more out of it (i.e. more ease, more fulfillment)Practiced taking space in the early days of a new relationship to better discern how they were feelingAnd in so doing, they're confronting pain, fear, grief, uncertainty....the meat of life :). Admittedly, I've been in a season of my life that has brought up a lot of those feelings, too...

In this episode I'm discussing how our propensity to work hard and get things done, and specifically the way we: Place high value on something that's hard to achieve versus finding ease in our lifeAvoid rejection and failure at all costsLabel ourselves as the planner and like to be in charge...are all wreaking havoc (i.e. not leading to the lived experience we want) in our relationships — romantic, platonic, professional, etc. Mentioned in this episode: David Deida: Intimate Communion Sofia A...

A client will often say to me, "I've finally figured out what I want and need in a relationship," with the sentiment that the figuring out of that has been the piece that's missing and will now help them in finding a partner. And it's not that it won't. It is a piece of it. But the awareness of something, versus the ability to act on and integrate said thing, are completely different. And we're very often repeating behaviors in how we date, who we keep around, etc etc, that are the antithesis...

In late August, whilst driving my 10 month old around, furiously throwing "organic" teething crackers in the back seat in hopes he would both stop crying and go to sleep (neither really happened), I mainlined a series of podcast episodes with an ex. He'd just come out with a new book and, thankfully (?), had a bevy of press for me indulge every stalking bone in my body. It was only after the fact that I though, "Oh, I must do a podcast episode about this." Who doesn't stalk an ex!! No one, no...

In about 6 weeks, I turn 40. I often meet clients on the precipice of 40. There, or a little ways after, and there are always (naturally), lots of feelings that come up around hitting that threshold. Will I ever meet someone?Now it REALLY feels too lateAll the men have run outWho wants to date someone 40+?While I'm feeling really, really excited and emboldened about entering this new decade, I, too, would feel different if I didn't yet have a husband or baby. So I wanted to dedicate an episod...

The obsession with healing ourselves is real, and these days, more often than not, I find myself guiding clients to pull back on all the materials and content they're ingesting in order to stop perpetuating this idea that they're "broken" or that there's always "more" to do. From the endless cycle of self-help books and courses that promise to "fix" us, to using gratitude as emotional white-out, these well-intentioned strategies can become sophisticated forms of self-avoidance. Because really...

This is one of those episodes that came in like a force — it started with a simple question from a follower, then ballooned into like 45 more, with other followers sending random messages, recurring themes in my client work, and admittedly, even the more recent lamenting on my own single life now in a marriage with a baby. This episode will resonate if: You find motivating yourself to date really, really challengingYou haven't dated in a very long time (be it 12 months or 12 years) — and if/w...

What if everything you think dating should look like is actually keeping you single? Or constantly thinking you're doing something wrong or that it's not enough? It seems most of us are in the quintessential "messy middle," in every sense of the word. So as my comeback episode it felt even more appropriate to dig into why these spaces are so potent. It's exactly where the real work happens. And while the primary focus will be on relationships, I'll share how these seasons occur — and benefit ...

Today's decision is something I've been noodling on for the past month. I've decided to take a break from running this podcast. But I didn't want to do so without taking you behind the scenes of my decision, because while in this instance the decision to take a break centers around a creative project — my method and means of reflection could be applied to so much else. It's got me thinking about all sorts of priorities and projects in my life.... do I still want to engage with them? Are they ...

Eight years ago, I landed myself in the office of a nurse practitioner/functional medicine specialist who specialized in gut health. I had been inexplicably bloated and exhausted for months and didn't know why. Little did I know that woman would go on to not only remedy my body, but change the overall trajectory of my life and career. Flash forward to today, while she's still an expert when it comes to our bodies, our nervous systems, and how the two speak to one another, her work is primaril...

March was a rough month for me. I found myself fighting the tail end of sleep training with Jude, my son. I was in a constant state of frustration around all I "wasn't" getting done. My husband and I were bickering like mad. I felt like everyday I was on a treadmill headed nowhere— and not advancing anywhere— but I was still sprinting. Constantly. I couldn't shut down. I was lucky to have my dear friend and wise sage Catherine Zack by my side. Her heartfelt guidance was so good, I decid...

In a recent Instagram post, I spoke about how many of my clients hold a fear that a relationship will swallow them whole. This isn't a misconception, as many of them have completely lost themselves in prior relationships. Also identifying as people pleasers, they've historically had a hard time operating authentically in their relationships, be they romantic, platonic, professional or (most of all) familial. Because of this, it's crucial, when it comes to dating, that we double down on t...

There was a moment about five years ago, around age 34, where I thought to myself: Maybe I just don't want a relationship. Clients will say a similar thing to me, often using language like: I'm not even sure I want to be in a relationship. In today's episode I'm exploring what rests beneath those words (what they meant for me, what they mean for others) and what it means to intellectualize our pain. I specifically discuss: How a debilitating breakup made me never want to try to have...

Private coaching spaces are open. Here's something I hear from clients all the time: I'm never going to meet someone. There's no one left. All the good men are gone. Therapist and coach Julia Zwerin is back to dig into this subject with me. In this episode we discuss: What's behind the fear that you'll never meet someoneHow your scarcity mindset has more to do with your past than it does the reality of the potential partners available to youHow holding this belief can serve as a form of prote...

Private coaching spaces are open. When we want to acquire something new, be it a new job, a new relationship, a new home, a new life experience, we tend to think of it as additive. We add items to our to do list, write down goals, consider how we want to do things differently. But I find considering what we need to let go of — be that a person, a way of being, a pattern, a way we VIEW ourselves, a desired outcome — to make space for the new thing even more crucial. It's in the letting g...

The other week a friend sent me a clip from Instagram, and despite not being the biggest Logan Ury fan, I really got down with what she was saying here. "Great relationships are built, they're not discovered." This concept is top of mind as my husband and I work through a new phase in our marriage with the addition of a child. But it's also top of mind as I connect with clients at the forefront of the year and reflect on the inner work that's really calling to them in 2025. Work with me Priva...

Here's where I meet most of my clients: They've been in therapy for years, they have a tremendous amount of awareness around their stuff — their mom issues, their dad issues, their attachment style, their insecurities, how they attract the wrong men, etc etc. They know it all like the back of their hand! But their dating and relationship life remains the same. What gives?Why can we have all the self awareness with zero change in our circumstances?That's what we're digging into in today's podc...

Work with me privatelyTake one of my online coursesJanuary tends to be a month rife with a lot of "I'm going to do this and that and goals goals goals!" And if that feels good to you, then great. But I find most of us stack ourselves with a litany of to dos, only to feel massively let down a few weeks later. Dating tends to be one of those areas. Early in my single years I often began January with a lot of goals/plans around how many dates I was going to go on that year, largely stemming from...

How are you all? It's been a minute! I'm slowly coming out of my cocoon of maternity leave. I'm only working part time, if that in January. In today's episode I'm sharing what the last few weeks have been like and how I'm embracing a slow start to the year, which seems to be a theme I'm seeing for other — motherhood or not — too.Work with me PrivatelyConnect on InstagramWebsitePodcast Production by James Jorge

We've all had the guy (or....guys ; )) who don't communicate well, who leave us in the dark, who aren't looking for commitment or exclusivity. Maybe they're clear about it, maybe they're not. Either way, they're like a drug we can't quit — quite literally (more on that in the episode). A text flies in, we're in their presence, all sense of clarity and judgement is lost. I very vividly recall these seasons of my life. Today I'm joined by my dear friend Julia Zwerin, therapist and coach, to di...