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Writer and podcaster Jesse Hawken joins me this week to talk about being a decades long Bill Maher hater, and then Bill Maher on this episode of Real Time validates that belief system by doing an all time rude reverential interview with Cindy Sheehan. Plus! a real yelling man heavy panel with V, Dan Savage, and *groans* Mike Huckabee.
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Comedian and podcaster Patrick Monahan is my guest this week and his first ever full episode of Real Time reminds him of just how casually cruel the 00's were, and we also witness a startlingly lazy and uninspired panel performance from a generationally important comedian.
Listen to What a Time to be Alive
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Yeah yeah yeah, it's late, I don't know, I got a lot goin' on, GET OFF MY BACK!!!!
Look man, myself and my friend comedian Emily Faye (returning guest, if you are a Patreon subscriber) watched another episode of this dumb ass show and it was sort of startlingly unremarkable. Gore Vidal was funny for reasons both intentionally and not, Al Franken got off a good joke at the end there, and Charles Barkley was good enough that we both wished he had been on the panel proper. God, why are there so many fucking jokes about Michael Jackson? Who was this woman on the panel? She's such a mysterious booking!!!
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PATREON EPISODE UNLOCKED:
Comedian/Big time comedy fan rejoins the podcast to watch his 2022 HBO special #Adulting. In-between our overall complaints, I highlight some specifically terrible jokes, in addition to one joke I actually liked, and Mike gives Bill Maher notes as if he were his stand-up teacher.
EDITED 12/1/2024 Added the intro, which I forgot to do upon initial upload
Darren Knight eating shit at JfL because he's a fucking hack: https://www.vulture.com/2018/08/darren-knights-performance-at-jfl-is-a-cautionary-tale.html
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Journalist Mel Buer joins the show to bear witness to the glory of America's forever culture war! Mel was not especially familiar with Bill Maher coming into this but brother you better believe she'll be thinking about him for a LONG time after! A panel from Hell, Real Time bottom of the barrel bingo, and the obscenely difficult struggle of trying to come to terms with the fact that a guy who sucks this bad at what he does has been rewarded for doing it for almost his entire life. PLUS I don't think I said Mel's name correctly even once.
Subscribe to Mel's newsletter "Words About Work" here
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I know, it's late, sorry I'm not perfect!!!
The first 45 minutes the audio is kind of janky due to my assuming Streamyard wouldn't just suddenly change up my settings for no reason, but here is a very fun episode with writer and illustrator Mattie Lubchansky. As the result of having an extremely long commute early in her career, Mattie may be in the top five guests when it comes to how much Real Time they have ingested prior to being on the show, but that doesn't leave her any less aghast at what this episode has in store for her! There's a really... odd New Rule in this one.
Get Mattie's book Simplicity here! Listen to No Gods, No Mayors! Also Listen to Temporal Culture War!
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Look man, if you were one of those people praising Bill Maher for pushing back on Ben Shapiro one single time, I have bad news for you: your ass got played.
Watch one of John's 983 comedy specials here
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Older men loved to introduce millennial women to Real Time with Bill Maher! Women don't dip! Rachel Fisher from the Hollywood Crime Scene podcast joins me to talk about gender TRUTHS and REALITIES! Actually, we primarily talk about Real Time season 3, episode 9. Bill Maher sets a personal record for women over 25 that he's openly attracted to in one episode (two), a panelist has a smug off with the show's host, and a Republican from Wyoming tells Bill Maher not to be so racist against people from the Middle East. Also, it's extremely depressing how recognizable so much of this episode is in comparison to the world around us right now.
If you love gas powered leaf blowers, man, there is a TREAT for you at the end of this thing.
Listen to Hollywood Crime Scene
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Classic episode of Real Time here, and by that I mean it was so boring my guest and I literally hard a hard time finding things to talk about, outside of the midshow comedy bit and the final two minutes of panel discussion. Who was that guest, you ask? Why, it was comedian Brandie Posey, and also thankfully we were given a brief reprieve from the episode by her eighteen year old dog waking up and doing that very throaty whine that chihuahua mixes do. In a new twist on an old classic, Brandie is put through a judgement free LIGHTNING ROUND, and then I sort of slowly turn into a pile of misery mush as I do everything in my power to not have a psychotic episode where I carve David Frum's name all over my body before self-immolating.
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00:00: Preshow
2:26: Intro/News
7:45: Questions
12:25: Real Time Recap
1:31:35: Psychic Damage/Plus/Final Questions
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THIS IS A PREVIEW OF THE PATREON EXCLUSIVE EPISODE OF "I ESPECIALLY HATE BILL MAHER"
We just ended up recording for too long for me to get this thing out with only like a six hour turnaround, so here is Woody Allen on Club Random, one day late, featuring actual Woody Allen fan (but not defender, don't worry) Andrea More. Obviously, given who the Club Random guest is, I simply must slap a content warning on here for talk of childhood sexual abuse; we also talked how strange it is that Bill Maher shows so little interest in, or ability to, talk about Woody Allen's work as a filmmaker considering what a huge fan he claims to be, the pathetic sympathy old men inherently pull out of you, and how one of these guys does a pretty good job (from a PR standpoint) of talking about being accused of sexual assault, while the other demonstrates pretty much the worst way to do it. It was a deeply strange conversation, one that I can't imagine Woody Allen's fans and true believers enjoyed very much, and neither one of us ends up particularly clear on why Bill Maher even wanted to have it.
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It may be two days late, but it was all worth it because this week on the podcast I am joined by David Roth (a co-founder of Defector Media, as well as a host of The Distraction) to talk about having always had Bill Maher just sort of around, in the periphery, kind of bothering you at a low level all the time. Then we get into Real Time season 3, episode 7, and both remember a time in culture that was, too say the least, quite bad. Bill Maher continues to beg for Republicans to give him this one, Arianna Huffington tries her best, Ian McShane has more charisma than facts, and New Rules get a little weird. Lots of brain poisoned internet references in this one.
Please, read Defector, and listen to The Distraction
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I have no idea why I kept banging on my mic arm, but not much I can do about it now!
This week the show takes look into the past, but way less of the past than normal, when I am joined by writer/TV PhD haver Laura Langlade to talk about Real Time, season 13, episode 20, and episode whose taping SHE LITERALLY ATTENDED. Before that, we talk about Bill Maher as a way to bond with your politics knower Father, and the moment when you well and truly internalize someone is an absolute creep. Than it's on to the episode, where Bill Maher gets jealous of Bernie Sanders, actually gives it to one of his conservative guests (until he doesn't) and then let's the brittle, poisonous presence of Ann Coulter ruin everything.
Call the show at 323-KILN-SAP (323-545-6727)
Follow Laura on Instagram here
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Real Time returns after a five week hiatus and THIS is what we get?!?! Podcaster and journalist Alex Goldman was my guest this week, and not only was this his first ever full episode of Real Time with Bill Maher, but it was also one of the most uninspired episodes of television I personally have ever seen. We talk about Alex's fairly low level of Maher familiarity, some questions about how he would handle Bill Maher's particular personality quirks, and then get down to a particularly joke light episode of Real Time. Does Maher touch on the topics I was so curious to see if he'd get to? Did he mention his penchant for mine spelunking? Was there Zohran talk? Epstein? FOR HAMAS?! LISTEN AND FIND OUT (or don't, it's not really a big deal).
Listen to, perhaps even financially support Hyperfixed here!
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Heads up: this episode is NOT covering the most recent episode of Real Time, that episode will be out next week due to a scheduling error on my part. Instead, you're getting next week's episode this week, which is great because writer Eoin Higgins, the man who had to endure the post-White House Dinner Episode™ is back, and this time he's getting a good look at Classic Maher™. As so often happens, things take a sharp turn STRAIGHT DOWN towards the end of the episode, and neither of us liked it AT ALL.
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Look, this was supposed to just be essentially a mini episode to check up on what's been on Bill Maher's mind during his five months off, but I'm exporting the clips now and the file is almost twenty minutes long so clearly this is going to be much closer to a full episode. Really, I just want to know if and how much he will talk about Zohran. So I went down into the mine, and this was what was down there. Guests will resume next week.
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Bill does an incel and I get so mad that I become toxic.
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THIS IS A PREVIEW OF THE PATREON EXCLUSIVE EPISODE OF "I ESPECIALLY HATE BILL MAHER"
Due to scheduling issues, I am forced to pause Bella Thorne on Club Random month (I assure you: this was my fault) so instead here is an analysis of Bill Maher and Howard Stern's relationship, released early than originally intended. I honestly could not think of anyone with a deeper knowledge of shock jocks generally, and Stern specifically than longtime podcaster Bryan Quinby, so thank God he said yes to doing this. The primary focus was on two episodes of Stern: one from 1999, and then one from 2001, where Bill Maher came on and did an all whack pack version of Politically Incorrect. He did it very begrudgingly, I should add, and the two episodes had EXTREMELY different vibes to them. I also threw in clips from other sources, because I went a little crazy and dug up A LOT of old Stern. Honestly, this episode is a lot more Stern than Maher, but if you like listening to Bill Maher get made fun of you're going to find a lot to like here. We also talked about shock jocks just in general, and also what we are losing with the death of radio.
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Alt title: "Is anyone else seeing this? Well, don't." Other alt title: "Is anyone else lying about 'supporting trans people' to such an absurd degree?" <-Consider this a TW
First time guest Kyle Ayers and multi time guest Mike Carrozza (comedians, the lot of them) join the podcast to talk about the 2025 HBO comedy special "Is Anyone Else Seeing This?" which is truly, TRULY atrocious. You can literally hear the energy slowly drain out of the guests as the episode goes on, to where they go from talking over each other almost constantly, to sitting there in near silence seemingly on the verge of tears. I LOVE TO HARM MY FRIENDS VIA MY PODCAST!!!!! Genuinely, this is probably the worst comedy special ever recorded. It has no flow, it is not constructed properly, it is mostly him whining and bitching about his personal grievances with seemingly no ability to see that shit is not funny, nor does any of it really resemble a joke. There is also an unbelievable amount of transphobia, and it's just sprinkled all over the special because, once again, THIS MAN CANNOT PUT TOGETHER A SET! You group the same topics together, with maybe a call back or two later; you don't just jump back and forth between three topics, over and over. Any comic with any experience would have put this set together by saying something like"First my transphobic chunk, then my I hate kids stuff, and then the sex stuff". This comic would also be a bad person. Oh my God, OH MY GOD, this is the most incompetent thing ever!!!!
Go see what Kyle is up to, live dates and podcasts and such
Go see what Mike is doing, live dates and podcasts and such
To hear the previous episode Mike and I did about a Bill Maher HBO special, plus dozens of hours of other crap about this guy, subscribe to the Patreon
Also, shout out to Empty Heaven for doing some of the jingles for the show (none of which appear in this episode, lol, but they do in every other main feed ep.)
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I swear to God, I am trapped in some sort of bizarre punishment loop where I am forced to listen to Bill Maher complain about how the media doesn't talk about the important issues, followed by him talking about the exact same stupid shit he's mad at the media for talking about. Am I insane?! Is this not ridiculous behavior?! Anyway, comedian Christie Bahna joined the show this week. She had a real life encounter with someone Bill Maher adjacent. Guess if it was good of bad...
Also, the writer referenced in this episode is not the same writer who has been referenced in the past, there's an age difference of probably at least 25 years, from the sounds of it.
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I guess I should put a content warning on here since there is so much flippantly expressed approval for statutory rape.
Look, while the guest this week, comedy/organizer Nato Green is great, the episode Real Time really is not. Before we get to that, Nato tells me about how one Comedy Central exec making the worst of three possible choices in the mid 90's created the horrific future that we now live in (when it comes to Bill Maher, anyway), and all the ways that Bill Maher does the polar opposite of what Nato thinks political comedy should be. THEN we get to this god forsaken episode, which features a panel with absolutely no chemistry, a uh "bold thinker" that Bill Maher just asks about the Bachelorette, a truly nauseating mid-show comedy bit, and finally some of the most joyless New Rules you've ever seen. Cool, man.
Go see Nato while he's on tour
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