Carrie tried smoking grass at 14. It's not what you think. It didn't go well.

Today, we’re doing something a little different: Carrie is sharing a finished thing—a non-fiction short story she wrote called “The Inside Girl.” It’s about growing up in a bubble, longing to be inside of culture, and the day teenage curiosity met cattail fluff and…fire. It’s a story she needed to write to make sense of her longing to belong.

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Where to find Carrie:

Read “The Inside Girl” on Substack

Substack: carriekingpresents.substack.com

Instagram: @carriekingpresents

YouTube: @carriekingpresents

This week on the show, we talk about play and rest and how they’re kind of important parts to our creative practice. We talk about giving our minds a rest and letting our bodies take the wheel by choosing low-stakes experiments (waste the page) to loosen perfectionism. On the rest side, we talk about what it is (choice) and isn’t (doomscrolling).

We’re getting a little rebellious with this one—and perhaps even a tad wasteful *gasp*!

References:

• Utah Shakespeare Festival - annual summer/fall theatre festival in Cedar City, UT

• Into the Woods - 2014 Disney adaptation of the 1986 musical Into the Woods starring Meryl Streep and a bunch of other famous people

In this Rewind & Reset episode, we look back at Quarter 3—Carrie stepping into her writing and performance dreams, and Emily navigating grief while still creating music and finding her footing. We talk about what it means to stop playing small, to honor our own timing, and to carry those lessons forward into Quarter 4 with gentleness, courage, and creativity.

References:

• Carrie’s Substack - Read & SUBSCRIBE here

• Carrie’s “Girl on the Mountain” Substack post - (It’s actually called “The Audacity of Wanting”)

TIMECODES
0:00 - Intro
2:13 - “Dead dad couture”
3:05 - “Drawers”
5:10 - English is an asshole language
7:04 - The world’s greatest joke
7:54 - Clothing on animals…we die.
13:45 - How Carrie’s Q3 goals went
19:40 - What’s ahead for Carrie in Q4
23:19 - Emily’s Q3/Q4 goals

NOTE: This is part 2 of our two-part series talking with Singer/Songwriter Melissa V. Cartwright. If you haven’t already, go back and listen to part 1 and then come back here for part 2.

In this follow-up conversation with Melissa V. Cartwright, we continue unpacking the process of spiritual deconstruction—especially how it reshapes the way we create. We talk about what happens when the certainty we once clung to dissolves, and how grief, disorientation, and memory show up in our art.

From “cry nights” and purity culture to unexpected dreams and desert metaphors, we explore the tension between old beliefs and creative freedom.

Ultimately, we ask: what if not knowing is a perfectly good reason to make something?

Melissa’s Bio:
Singer, Songwriter, and Bilingual Voice and Performance Coach Melissa V. Cartwright is the founder of MVC Performance and the host of Passionate Performer PODCAST (in fact, Emily was a guest on her show—and we’ve the episode below). With over 25 years of experience in TV, radio, studio work, and musical theatre, she helps artists step on stage with confidence—whether it’s their very first open mic or a headlining show. 

Where to find Melissa:

Website: www.mvcperformance.com
Instagram: @mvcperformance
TikTok: @mvcperformance
Passionate Performer Podcast: on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and YouTube

References:

Have you ever felt guilty for enjoying the spotlight? This week we talk with singer, songwriter, and voice coach Melissa V. Cartwright about what it means to grow up evangelical, wrestle with performance, and deconstruct the old programming that told us our art could only be “for God’s glory.” Together, we explore perfectionism, fear, and how to reclaim joy, play, and the freedom to be fully seen.

Melissa’s Bio:
Singer, Songwriter, and Bilingual Voice and Performance Coach Melissa V. Cartwright is the founder of MVC Performance and the host of Passionate Performer PODCAST (in fact, Emily was a guest on her show—and we’ve the episode below). With over 25 years of experience in TV, radio, studio work, and musical theatre, she helps artists step on stage with confidence—whether it’s their very first open mic or a headlining show. 

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Where to find Melissa:

Website: www.mvcperformance.com
Instagram: @mvcperformance
TikTok: @mvcperformance
Passionate Performer Podcast: on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and YouTube

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References:

TIMECODES
0:00 - Intro
5:11 - Growing up in fundamentalist Christianity as performers
6:38 - Melissa’s history & deconstruction
14:53 - Communication & overspiritualization
19:17 - “I don’t have to hate God to not buy into the bullshit”
19:33 - Worship leading & our bids for connection
23:18 - The weight of overspiritualization & perfectionism
25:26 - Performance: for God or for you? & FEAR
32:00 - Do we need constant saving?
32:48 - From saving the world to play

Hey, Dear Listener,

A quick heads- up before we begin:
Today's episode involves the death of a parent. If you're navigating any kind of loss--whether someone is truly gone or just no longer who they were before--take care of yourself as you listen. 

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In this episode of Honestly, Dear Listener, we’re talking about what happens to all the expectations we carry once the person who placed them on us is no longer here. Emily shares about the recent passing of her dad—her childhood best friend and fiercest cheerleader—and how his absence has unexpectedly reshaped her relationship to music, identity, and pressure.

We explore how parents pass down not just values, but scripts—and how, in their absence, we’re sometimes left wondering who we really are.

Whether you’ve lost a parent or are simply renegotiating the story you’ve been handed, we hope this episode meets you where you are.

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References:

• As I Lay Dying - novel by William Faulkner
  

TIMECODES
0:00 - Intro
2:38 - Creatives & Overthinking
4:39 - “My dad died.”
10:48 - “I’m living his dream.”
12:26 - Grieving someone while they’re still alive
22:48 - Expectations- “Who am I if my parents are gone?”
25:55 - What Emily’s noticing about expectations/her identity now that her dad is gone
30:00 - An irreverent chat about cremation
40:27 - Grief

What happens when the work that once gave you life starts to feel like a cage?

In this episode, we talk with designer, teacher, entrepreneur, (and Carrie’s former sewing program director) Trishawna Quincy, who shares the story of how she left a stable job she loved—one she built from the ground up—to launch her own sewing business. We talk about discerning when it’s time to pivot, how to say no without guilt, and why building a creative life you actually enjoy is worth the risk (even if it means ironing a cocktail dress when you’re broke).

We cover:

• Navigating career transitions with intention (and spreadsheets)

• How to know what kind of work lights you up vs. what drains you

• Setting boundaries around your time and talents

• Why following joy isn’t a luxury—it’s fuel for the hard parts

• The unexpected power of making videos, honoring process, and letting your students into your creative practice

Whether you’re a multi-hyphenate creative, a burned-out teacher, or just someone who’s hearing the quiet call to “jump,” this one’s for you.

Learn more about Trishawna’s private sewing lessons and creative work at tikivisionstylelab.com.

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Where to find Trishawna:

Website: www.tikivisionstylelab.com
Instagram: @tikivisonstylelab
TikTok: @tikivisionstylelab

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References:

• Sewing Training Academy - workforce program in Nashville, TN offered by Catholic Charities
  

TIMECODES
0:00 - Intro
3:57 - History of the Sewing Training Program
8:44 - Trishawna’s childhood history with sewing
16:52 - Feeling the need for change
22:41 - Fears about jumping, fear, and uncertainty
28:45 - On saying “no”
38:14 - Advice for new entrepreneurs 

This week, we were supposed to record an episode about a totally different topic—but then real life (and a weed whacker) happened. So instead, Carrie and Emily get honest about what it looks like when your beautiful, color-coded goal list gets trampled by end-of-school chaos, family birthdays, two pages of unchecked boxes, and a spontaneous deep-dive into Christian denominational history. (Yes, really.)

We talk about:

• The guilt spiral of not hitting one single weekly goal

• Why setting “tiny dumb goals” might be the secret to success

• The trauma residue of rigid goal systems (ahem Christian school “offices”)

• How soft goals and flexibility can actually get us further

• ADHD, motherhood, and how hard it is to prioritize play when bills are looming

If you’ve ever set ambitious intentions only to get steamrolled by life—or if your nervous system clutches its pearls when you try to have fun—this one’s for you.

Spoiler: You’re not a failure. You’re a human. And you’re probably doing great.

References:

• 85: The Tender Artist’s Goal Toolkit: Building Habits without Crushing Your Soul with Allie Moss 06.27.25 - episode of Honestly, Dear Listener podcast - aired 6/27/25

• Try Softer: A Fresh Approach to Move Us out of Anxiety, Stress, and Survival Mode--and into a Life of Connection and Joy - book by Aundi Kolber

If you’re an artist with big dreams and a limited amount of energy (hello, real life), this episode is for you. We’re joined by singer/songwriter, vocal coach, and goals-group-organizing wizard Allie Moss to talk about how to set meaningful creative goals without falling into hustle-culture burnout.

We dig into:

• How to tell the difference between “I don’t want to do this” vs. “I’m scared to do this”

• Why your inner critic needs a nap while you’re making things

• The beauty of quantity over perfection

• Gentle approaches to time management, including Allie’s streaks habit app and her color-coded calendar system

• The power of community and accountability (without the shame)

Whether you’re writing songs, books, or to-do lists on the back of receipts, this one’s full of practical advice for showing up to your creative life with intention—and a little grace.

Where to Find Allie:

Website: www.alliemoss.com
Coaching Website: www.alliemosscoaching.com/
Instagram: @Allie Moss
Apple Music: Allie Moss
Spotify: Allie Moss
TikTok: Allie Moss

Thinking Outside the Blocks:
Website: www.thinkingoutsidetheblocks.com
Instagram: @thinkingoutsidetheblocks

References:

• Quarterly Quests from Ali Abdaal’s free workshop - see his work here

• The 12 Week Year - book by Brian P. Moran & Michael Lennington

• Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones - book by James Clear

• The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity, book by Julia Cameron

• Streaks - habit-forming to-do list app
  

TIMECODES
0:00 - Intro
1:20 - Meet Allie Moss
10:52 - How to know what you actually want (vs. what you “should” do)
16:51 - Why quarterly goals work better than yearly resolutions
18:41 - How to chunk down
25:45 - Becoming the kind of person who does the thing (identity-based goals)
29:51 - How to hush your inner editor
35:19 - Calendar blocking, creative energy, and realistic planning
47:34 - Accountability that doesn’t suck (and the power of community)

Money—just the word can trigger a storm of guilt, shame, confusion, or scarcity. In this episode, we crack open our complicated histories with cash: growing up with little, being raised in churches that equated poverty with holiness, and internalizing a belief that joy and money should never mix.

We cover:

• Growing up in financial lack

• Church culture’s weird relationship with money, guilt, and perceived “worth”

• The deeply internalize message: If you love it, you shouldn’t charge for it.

• How money wounds show up in creative careers

• The fear of being seen as “bad” or “greedy” for charging what you’re worth

• Reframing money as energy—not evil—and leaning into circulation, not hoarding

Whether you’re a freelancer, artist, teacher, or simply someone who’s ever hesitated to name a price—this episode is for you. There’s healing in honesty. And humor. And yes, maybe even in money.

References:

• You Are a Badass at Making Money: Master the Mindset of Wealth - book by Jen Sincero

• Rich as F*ck: More Money Than You Know What to Do With - book by Amanda Frances
  

TIMECODES
0:00 - Intro
1:20 - Emily’s money origin story
7:55 - Effects of growing up the way Emily did
10:18 - Carrie’s money origin story
20:01 - Wrong beliefs about money
29:03 - Do we think people with money are bad?

Have you ever felt like everyone around you seems to have a creative identity—but you’re just… a bunch of puzzle pieces that don’t fit into any one box? Maybe you’re multi-passionate, maybe you’ve been told to “pick a lane,” or maybe you’ve spent years trying to be a Tide Pod on a shelf—marketable, palatable, and definitely not too much.

In this episode, we talk about what creative authenticity actually feels like in the body, how to recognize when you’re betraying yourself, and why saying “I’ll think about it” might be the ultimate boundary-setting magic trick. And we are joined by a guest who’s lived all of it.

Lizzy McAvoy is an award-winning singer-songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, and producer who traded the cornfields of Central Ohio for the creative chaos of Nashville. Her songs have been recorded by Jo Dee Messina, Home Free, The Shires (certified silver), Sondr (certified gold), and Tenille Arts—whose album featuring their collaboration “Butterfly Effect” was nominated for CCMA Album of the Year.

You’ve probably heard her work on FOX, Netflix, fashion campaigns, or even a car commercial without realizing it was her. She’s also taken home honors at the Production Music Awards and the Mark Awards two years in a row—including Best Folk Production Music Track and Country/Americana Track of the Year.

Where to find Lizzy:

Website: www.lizzymcavoy.com
Instagram: @lizzymacattack
Apple Music: Lizzy McAvoy
Spotify: Lizzy McAvoy

References:

• Behind the Act Podcast with Seth Schaeffer

• Read Carrie’s Substack here!
  

TIMECODES
0:00 - Intro
16:42 - Meet Lizzy!
21:06 - Living outside of our identity
30:59 - How do we know we’re living outside of who we are?
40:40 - Lizzy’s secret phrase when you can’t say no
43:51 - How do we know when something is a fit?

LISTEN TO PART 1 HERE (then come back and listen to part 2)

You’re vibing at an art show. Then it hits you: someone else already made the thing you wish you’d made. Suddenly, your joy nose-dives into insecurity. Welcome to the complex emotional soup of envy and jealousy—especially for creatives.

In this second half of this two-part series, Emily and Carrie continue with their discussion on envy and focus specifically on Brené Brown’s definitions of resentment, admiration, reverence, schadenfreude, and freudenfreude.

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A Note from Carrie

Hey, Dear Listener—it’s Carrie.

If you’ve ever found yourself nodding along with the show and thought, “I wish I had someone to help me make sense of where I'm at,” well… hi!

I happen to be a certified life coach, and I work with artists just like you who might feel a little stuck, a little swirly, or just want some help finding the next right step. I’m opening up a couple more spots for artists who want support and structure in their creative work, and I would love to help you reach your goals.

To learn more, visit honestlydearlistener.com/coaching.

Don’t worry, Dear Listener—we’ve got this.

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References:

• Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience - book by Brené Brown
  

TIMECODES
0:00 - Intro
0:24 - What Carrie is envious about
9:12 - Resentment definition
19:38 - Admiration and reverence definitions
25:37 - Schadenfreude & freudenfreude

You’re vibing at an art show. Then it hits you: someone else already made the thing you wish you’d made. Suddenly, your joy nose-dives into insecurity. Welcome to the complex emotional soup of envy and jealousy—especially for creatives.

In this first half this two-part series, Emily and Carrie crack open Brené Brown’s definitions, explore how envy often hides under admiration, and share personal stories about classism on airplanes, body image in middle school, and the emotional chaos of someone seeming like a better version of you.

(Spoiler: it’s never actually about them.)

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A Note from Carrie

Hey, Dear Listener—it’s Carrie.

If you’ve ever found yourself nodding along with the show and thought, “I wish I had someone to help me make sense of where I'm at,” well… hi!

I happen to be a certified life coach, and I work with artists just like you who might feel a little stuck, a little swirly, or just want some help finding the next right step. I’m opening up a couple more spots for artists who want support and structure in their creative work, and I would love to help you reach your goals.

To learn more, visit honestlydearlistener.com/coaching.

Don’t worry, Dear Listener—we’ve got this.

______________________________________

References:

• Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience - book by Brené Brown
  

TIMECODES
0:00 - Intro
2:39 - Premium Select
10:16 - Jealousy & Envy
10:47 - Atlas of the Heart
11:46 - Envy definition
12:24 - Comparison definition
13:45 - Jealousy definition
21:17 - What we’re usually envious about
23:19 - What Emily is envious about
28:51 - Envy as Dehumanization

This week on Honestly, Dear Listener, we’re talking about bodies—how we ignore them, how they yell at us when we do, and what it actually means to be embodied (especially for those of us who grew up thinking our bodies were the enemy). From panic attacks to protein charts, poop habits to dance breaks, we’re getting real about the messy, beautiful, annoying work of coming home to ourselves—one hard-boiled egg at a time.

____________________________________________________________

A Note from Carrie

Hey, Dear Listener—it’s Carrie.

If you’ve ever found yourself nodding along with the show and thought, “I wish I had someone to help me make sense of where I'm at,” well… hi!

I happen to be a certified life coach, and I work with artists just like you who might feel a little stuck, a little swirly, or just want some help finding the next right step. I’m opening up a couple more spots for artists who want support and structure in their creative work, and I would love to help you reach your goals.

To learn more, visit honestlydearlistener.com/coaching.

Don’t worry, Dear Listener—we’ve got this.

____________________________________________________________

References:

• Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle - book by Emily Nagoski & Amelia Nagoski

• Holy Hurt: Understanding Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing - book by Hillary L. McBride

• The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma - book by Bessel van der Kolk

TIMECODES
0:00 - Intro
2:14 - Bodies & High Control Religion™️ 
10:28 - Women Ignoring their Needs (Bodily Included)
13:36 - How Panic Attacks are Helpful?
28:39 - How Do We Heal?
31:14 - Self-Trust: THE KEY
40:54 - Things We Can Do to Strengthen Our Relationship with Our Bodies

📣 Big Fat Announcement! 📣

Starting Friday, April 18, Honestly, Dear Listener will be moving to a bi-weekly release schedule—that’s every other Friday instead of every single one.

Why? Because as much as we love creating this podcast, we’re also navigating real human schedules, creative projects, family life, grief, growth, and all the glorious mess in between. And we’re practicing what we preach: realistic expectations, nervous system kindness, and sustainable creativity.

So don’t worry—we’re not going anywhere. We’re just giving ourselves (and you) a little more breathing room. Same vibes, same chaos, slightly more spacious pacing.

Mark your calendars: New episodes every other Friday starting April 18. And in the meantime, hydrate, chase your side quests, and tell perfectionist pants-face to take a nap.

With love and fewer deadlines,

Carrie & Emily 🎙️💕

In this episode, we cover:

💥 Our Q1 goals—what we smashed (and what smashed us)

🎭 Emily’s dramatic arc from “first draft” to “I quit” to “wait… cabaret?”

🧠 Carrie’s ADHD brain vs. perfectionism vs. moving boxes

💌 Rediscovering old chapel notes and decoding middle school crushes (Jim Carrey?!)

🧩 Embracing misery, perfectionist parts, and nervous system meltdowns

🧘‍♀️ Shame spirals, grief, and asking your inner critic to please just shush for a minute

🛠️ Setting doable, measurable Q2 goals using a “12-week year” approach

🩰 Our goals for Q2 2025

✨ Why surviving might be the bravest goal of all

References:

• Ep 72: We’re All Biased. Now What?

• Ep 74: We’re All Out of Energy Coins

• Ep 75: Love Yourself, Asshole, and Other Mysteries

• The 12 Week Year: Get More Done in 12 Weeks than Others Do in 12 Months - book by Brian P. Moran and Michael Lennington

• Internal Family Systems (IFS) - aka parts work

• Teeline Shorthand

  • Let’s Love Teeline Together - online Teeline shorthand resource Carrie uses

  • Piano Marvel - music piano sight-reading app Carrie uses

TIMECODES
0:00 - Intro
2:36 - Q1 Goals Rewind
31:20 - Q2 Goals Reset
40:19 - A MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT!

Today on Honestly, Dear Listener, we are unpacking what the heck “the patriarchy” even means, how it hurts artists, and what YOU can do to dismantle it. Joining us today is Carrie’s childhood friend Rachel Darden, a working actor known not only for her talent but also for her keen observations on the state of the arts.

From storytelling shackled by skewed representation to the invisibility of aging women, the patriarchy has left its mark on creativity. Today, we'll explore the need for diverse stories and authentic female portrayals in an industry often blinded by gender biases. We also discuss how the patriarchy is hurtful for men and what all genders can do to recognize and counteract the patriarchy in their art and in their own lives.

Prepare to rethink what it means to be a feminine creator in a world stubbornly molded for the masculine narrative. We're unpacking it all—aging, sexism, representation, and the resilience of womanhood.

Where You Can Find Rachel:

• TikTok - @likely_nauseated

• Instagram - @likely__nauseated

References:

We’re diving into our vault and pulling out episodes we want to make sure you don’t miss! Here’s a gem from October 2024 talking with our friend, Amber Mogg Cathey of Evolve Vocal Studio, about how we can motivate ourselves with kindness.

It’s our first episode of Season 4!

This week on Honestly, Dear Listener, we welcome vocalist, voice coach, friend, and frequent contributor to the show Amber Mogg Cathey back to the podcast. We discuss our strategies for how to positively motivate ourselves instead of what comes naturally to us: kicking our own butts into submission. We talk about positive versus negative motivations and how effective each is at motivating us. We also discuss what it’s like being the kid who stuck out and how we felt like, in order to escape the scrutiny of others, we took our own selves down a peg or two which only ended up hurting our self-esteem.

Where to Find Amber:

Website: evolvevocalstudio.com
Instagram: @EvolveVocalStudio
YouTube:  @EvolveVocalStudio  
Facebook: @EvolveVocalStudio
TikTok: @EvolveVocalStudio

Listen to our past episode with Amber HERE!We’re diving into our vault and pulling out episodes we want to make sure you don’t miss! Here’s a gem from October 2024 talking with our friend, Amber Mogg Cathey of Evolve Vocal Studio, about how we can motivate ourselves with kindness.

It’s our first episode of Season 4!

This week on Honestly, Dear Listener, we welcome vocalist, voice coach, friend, and frequent contributor to the show Amber Mogg Cathey back to the podcast. We discuss our strategies for how to positively motivate ourselves instead of what comes naturally to us: kicking our own butts into submission. We talk about positive versus negative motivations and how effective each is at motivating us. We also discuss what it’s like being the kid who stuck out and how we felt like, in order to escape the scrutiny of others, we took our own selves down a peg or two which only ended up hurting our self-esteem.

Where to Find Amber:

Website: evolvevocalstudio.com
Instagram: @EvolveVocalStudio
YouTube:  @EvolveVocalStudio  
Facebook: @EvolveVocalStudio
TikTok: @EvolveVocalStudio

Listen to our past episode with Amber HERE!

References:

• The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity, book by Julia Cameron

• “51: Finding Our Creative Identity with Gemma Sugrue 09.20.24” - Honestly, Dear Listener episode Season 3, Episode 51

  
  

TIMECODES:
0:00 - Intro
1:04 - Amber intro & WE’RE NOW IN SEASON 4!
2:34 - Motivating ourselves while not kicking our own butts
11:17 - Filled up with ourselves/self-centering
20:42 - Toward and away motivations
27:57 - Steps to catching and changing negative motivations

Ever been stuck in a tiny cubicle, staring at a fluorescent light, memorizing alternative history while yearning for human connection? Welcome to our private Christian school experience. This week, we take you back to the rigid world of goal charts, scripture memorization, and cubicle learning, where asking for help required raising tiny American and Christian flags—and asking for more wasn’t an option. But what happens when you finally unlearn that conditioning?

Emily shares how she accidentally manifested a band and a gig, sparking a deep dive into the fear of wanting, why women struggle to ask for more, and how creativity thrives when we allow ourselves to receive. We also explore a big question: What if the opportunities we want were always there, but we were taught to believe we didn’t deserve them? Plus, a teaser for next week: What if your body already knows what you want, even when your brain doesn’t?

Tune in for laughs, existential revelations, and a little manifestation magic as we break out of Christian cubicles and into cosmic possibilities.

References:

• Somebody Somewhere - TV show on HBO

• The Secret - book by Rhonda Byrne

  
  

  TIMECODES
  0:00 Intro
  0:31 - Our fundamentalist private Christian school woes
  13:50 - About the last two weeks…
  15:34 - Let’s talk about manifestation
  20:05 - Getting out in the world
  28:27 - Manifestation: where do I start?
  33:12 - “It’s scary to want.”
  35:17 - Contentment vs. satisfaction
  39:12 - Next steps
  

  Check out our episodes about spiritual deconstruction/fundamentalism:

  • 21: How Fundamentalism STILL Affects How We Create PART 1 02.09.24

  • 22: How Fundamentalism STILL Affects How We Create PART 2 02.16.24

  • 59: Fundamentalism, Mental Health, and Creativity 11.15.24

  • 64: Panic, Prayer, and Prozac: Our Mental Health Adventures! Part 1 12.20.24

  • 65: Panic, Prayer, and Prozac: Our Mental Health Adventures! Part 2 12.27.24

Ever feel like the world is on fire, your creative energy is on life support, and the certainty you once clung to—faith, government, the idea that adults know what they’re doing—was all an illusion?

Yeah, us too.

This week, we’re getting real about the existential free-fall of realizing certainty was never actually real, the shame spiral that comes with feeling too much, and the struggle to carve out small pockets of joy without guilt. Along the way, we unpack the absurdity of self-directed cruelty (love yourself, you asshole), the tension between being informed and completely overwhelmed, and why questioning everything doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you’re alive. Buckle up for brutal honesty, questionable metaphors, and maybe, just maybe, a little hope.

References:

• “Thinking Out Loud” - song by Ed Sheeran

  
  

TIMECODES
0:00 Intro
0:33 - We’re the fun ones. So why don’t I feel fun?
5:23 - Invalidating our own painful feelings/feeling shame for feelings
12:16 - Fundamentalist upbringing contributing to feeling shame for feelings
13:087 - Uncertainty vs. uncertainty
22:34 - Finding balance between wallowing and purposefully ignorant
24:52 - “Love yourself, asshole!”
26:18 - Access to information is a double-edged sword

Check out our episodes about spiritual deconstruction/fundamentalism:

• 21: How Fundamentalism STILL Affects How We Create PART 1 02.09.24

• 22: How Fundamentalism STILL Affects How We Create PART 2 02.16.24

• 59: Fundamentalism, Mental Health, and Creativity 11.15.24

• 64: Panic, Prayer, and Prozac: Our Mental Health Adventures! Part 1 12.20.24

• 65: Panic, Prayer, and Prozac: Our Mental Health Adventures! Part 2 12.27.24

In this week’s episode of Honestly, Dear Listener, we talk about showing up in the middle of neither of us being okay. We talk about how our creative energy—heck, our energy in general—is like a coin, an “energy coin” and how we spend it on mental and emotional resources, sometimes on creativity and connection, and other times on self-criticism and fear. We discuss the struggle of self-trust, the reality of creative burnout, and the challenge of accepting that some days, we simply don’t have the coins.

Along the way, we acknowledge the privilege of rest, the cost of overextending, and the importance of grace in a world that demands constant output. If you’re feeling depleted, this episode is a reminder that self-compassion is an investment worth making.

TIMECODES
0:00 Intro
2:00 - Collectively, we’re not okay
3:25 - Let’s talk about creative energy coins!
5:41 - We spend our coins positively and negatively
9:04 - We believe we have (or SHOULD have) unlimited coins
18:01 - Buying things on credit/overdrafting/mental health!

Check out our episodes about spiritual deconstruction/fundamentalism:

• 21: How Fundamentalism STILL Affects How We Create PART 1 02.09.24

• 22: How Fundamentalism STILL Affects How We Create PART 2 02.16.24

• 59: Fundamentalism, Mental Health, and Creativity 11.15.24

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