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Step into the gilded nightmare of a Tudor banquet — where social survival depends on knowing which trenchers to eat from, when not to sneeze, and how to pretend rancid meat is a delicacy. This isn't your average historical reenactment. It’s a slow descent into grease-slicked etiquette, twitching meat, unblinking jesters, and public humiliation — all served under the flickering torchlight of power and paranoia. By the time dessert arrives (jellied eels and hoof-glue, anyone?), you'll understand why surviving the banquet might be worse than the Tower itself.

If you're still listening by the time the sugar sculptures collapse and the bear enters the room, thank you. You are braver than most courtiers.

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