Today's podcast revisits and builds upon a previous episode that was about when we unconsciously follow a script from the past. However, this topic is expanded today to how we can create new unhealthy scripts or narratives in the present without realizing it is happening. A stressful time can lead to negative self-dialogue that can become a habit. It can create a new procedural memory of how we relate with ourselves. It can even become a way of self-soothing in a very unhealthy way.

Today's podcast focuses on the importance of being able to be honest with ourselves and be able to say we are not okay during times of struggle. More of life sticks to us than we realize. The paradox is that when we can acknowledge we are not presently okay, then we know we will be okay. Denial is costly and far more damaging than we realize.

Today’s podcast offers a brief meditation on certain experiences that drive home the reality that our lives will not always be as they are now. Also, how the most significant moments in our lives are often the ones we take for granted and gloss over. We often proceed in the space of assumptions; assuming there will be time down the road to say certain things, or to ask for forgiveness, or to forgive. However, we know that the only guarantee is now.

Today’s podcast answers a question from someone who is trying to make sense of whether it is them or others that’s the cause of broken family relationships. Sometimes when we are in the face of unreasonable and unhealthy behavior, we can doubt ourselves and begin to even question our own sanity. However, sometimes it can be a little bit of us and sometimes a lot. Today’s podcast discusses being able to discern between the two. Also, as we progress on the healing work and our insight and self awareness grows, we must also make sure that our mercy grows as well.

Today’s podcast helps someone who is navigating a toxic situation in a parish setting. Some feel it is never an option to leave a parish and then there are others who treat leaving a parish too flippantly. A healthy parishioner-parish relationship is sustained by a healthy synergy; where one protects, nourishes, and sustains the other. When that synergy is broken, a change is sometimes needed.

Today’s podcast speaks about how a key component to a peaceful departure from this world is traveling lightly. Specifically in the form of not carrying emotional baggage any longer than we have to. Sometimes, when we have had profound unmet needs, a part of us can linger back at an earlier time, and we can wait a lifetime for something to come around that never will in the form we are seeking. When this happens, it can make our departure from this world much more difficult. Learning when it’s time to turn the page and move on, and how to do that, is the focal point of today’s discussion.

Today’s podcast speaks to the importance of being able to acknowledge and recognize when we’ve had a measured or healthy response to something. Both accountability and mercy are important for spiritual health. The second half of the podcast focuses on being careful what we expose ourselves to on social media. If we were not had an event then we don’t need to insert our ourselves there retroactively by watching traumatic videos of that event. We have to maintain balance both within and without.

Today’s podcast answers a question from someone who is disheartened and confused as to why they keep experiencing powerful triggers and emotional reactions to certain situations when they thought they did all of the healing work. We often don’t realize, that a part of our brain didn’t get the memo, that it’s OK to react differently to things and that we have the power to choose how we respond to something and what we make it to be. Once the heavy lifting of the healing work is done, we have so much more freedom to change the old script we have been following and to write a new one.

Today’s podcast answers a question from someone who’s been through a very difficult ordeal in their parish setting. Often times in these situations, confusion and hurt abound. Knowing when it’s okay to walk away and start new somewhere can be a difficult decision. Traumatic experiences are profoundly disempowering. Part of the healing process is becoming empowered. It’s okay to use God’s gift of free will and follow our dignity.

Today’s podcast is a brief discussion on how traumatic experiences can be passed down. Often those on the healing path have gone to great lengths to make sure their children never experience what they did. However, often to our dismay, we might notice our kids showing the same struggles we did. This is because our painful experiences can get passed down genetically. This can be a painful realization for a parent. However, there are also positives. What is passed down can be changed.

Today’s podcast answers a question from someone who has been very very confused by the discrepancy between the memory of their experiences and what their body is telling them. This can often lead us to doubt ourselves and make us believe and feel that something is wrong with us. When our body is telling us a story we do not understand or have memory of, it can feel very frightening. Leaning into what our body is telling us requires counseling and making sure we are being patient and gentle with ourselves, and also having a strong therapeutic relationship.

Today’s podcast discusses how friendships in today’s world are hard to come by. There are multiple reasons for this. One is that the resources of time and having the mental bandwidth for a friendship are more scarce. However, our society also has become more egocentric and self-centered, which disrupts the synergy and reciprocity needed for a healthy friendship. There is also a difficult discussion on having to ask ourselves difficult questions to assess are we a healthy friend to others.

Today’s podcast answers a question from a grieving mother. Since her son had passed away by taking his own life years ago, she has limited herself to several prayers she had found that imply that the one praying the prayers is risking sinning and has led to the mother feeling shamed. How to handle praying for those who committed suicide is discussed in this podcast.

Today’s podcast speaks to what are realistic expectations of the healing work. The end result is not the absence of struggle or the complete disappearance of difficult emotions. The reality is, a little bit of pain and struggle are directional and we need them to keep moving and not get too comfortable in this world. The example of Saint Paul is also discussed. In the end, our struggles are not sins, but rather they allow room through which God‘s grace can act.

Today’s podcast answers a question from someone who is trying to start their life with their husband, but the pain and dysfunction of their family of origin calls for them daily. Even though the submitter of the question is married and outside of their childhood home, they are still playing the same role they did when they were a child. Today’s podcast discusses how to break free from a family of origin that has never changed so that we can have a chance at a healthy and peaceful life.

Today’s podcast answers a question from someone who grew up in a fatherless home, and there was also much conflict and upset. As a result of these experiences, the submitter of the question experiences intense fear and stress around members of the opposite gender. Despite having done much work on this, they still struggle. They have also fallen into sexual addiction as a way to cope with the pain and stress associated with this.

Today’s podcast speaks to a request by a listener, to speak on the topic of accountability, specifically in a parish setting. A healthy parish is one that does not tolerate negative or unhealthy behavior. This means being able to have the difficult conversations. Also, the perception that we can sometimes hide our negative behaviors in the church and not have to work on them is also addressed.

Today’s podcast focuses on how to discern the difference between being selfish and selfless, specifically around setting boundaries or anytime we assert ourselves. When it comes to depicting the self as bad, we have to be very careful when speaking in absolutes or in all or nothing language. The reality is, when someone is healing from trauma, there are times when the sense of self has to be focused on as a temporary passage, in order to achieve becoming selfless.

Today’s podcast answers a question from a parent who is in the process of exploring colleges for their teenager. They feel influenced by parents who put pressure on their kids to get into elite schools and yet feel envious of parents who are relaxed and have no need to put pressure on their kids. The submitter of the question asks if there’s a sweet spot or balanced position to have so that they’re not being too lax or putting too much pressure on their kids. Allowing our kids to be who they are, and guiding them according to the gifts and talents God has given them, gives them dignity that protects them from all the things that we fear for them.

Today’s podcast speaks to a topic that is relevant to all the questions that have been submitted. That topic is the reality that awareness is becoming less present in this world. Many people are feeling disillusioned with humanity and existentially alone. However, whether just discouraged with humanity because of the present state of the world or from having suffered from trauma, the presence of humble souls in our lives can be a balm on our soul and have a healing effect on us.