Sorry if you thought we were dead. Ben almost was. Thirty-three weeks and you won't believe the stew: young doctors, littering, dog shit, crazy to scare off crazy, John McEnroe and Jim Caviezel. How aren't you, by the way?

The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire ... but so is a pillow in our bunch of sharehouse stories. Who's not on fire? People who tuck their ears into caps. Kids who have cool marbles and get fast food dropped off at lunchtime. Walkers who don't know how to cross a street. Hypothetical death row inmates who have no last supper plans.

We take on the topics others don't: losing your virginity to Eddie Vedder, the ridiculous hysteria around Jeffrey Dahmer, living forever with the support of a psychologist, band names to avoid and why 2022 is The Horse With No Name. All with our own accompaniments.

Context is everything. Maybe that's why our last ep. sucked. So watch The Hand that Rocks the Cradle. But don't watch too much sport, unless you're a Renaissance Man. Never be good at giving high fives. You're not 15 anymore. Know more than your student before you advertise lessons. Don't judge someone else's art, because that's aggressive apparently. Avoid vomiting on a black cat.

EPISODE 5 • It's been so long that we forgot what we were talking about. Hear for yourself. Unless it's about that fight we were in. It makes you wonder if Tom Waits would just Google it. Or Charles Bukowski? He'd likely vomit at the thought of it. Adam wouldn't. He hasn't spewed since the '90s he reckons. • Link in bio.

Nevermind that we're still talking about Nirvana. We take a while to get over things here. Jim Carrey. Childhood trauma. First homes and school bullies. Smart Alec. Wheatbelt karate. A red-headed cub stealing a red sweater. Setting aside a BMX career. Washing your neck properly after you nearly cut your head off.

We Care a Lot, simple as that. We care that Adam survived Perth's torrential conditions to record the show. We care about Michael Madsen, Val Kilmer and Q Lazzarus. We care about haunting voices and haunted buildings. We care about the crap lookalikes we've been given. We care that you're even bothering to listen.

Adam, Ben and Steve talk about Vincent Gallo, Anna Nicole Smith and what might be left in your fridge. Steve started 2016 on the floor when he fell through a roof, but where was everyone else? The fellas read from SuperTed, yes SuperTed, and then look at the importance of self-care, minus Fred Durst.

Adam, Ben and Steve talk about the lost tapes, supermarket habits, entertaining cheese and Pocket Full of Kryptonite. Adam relives when he was hit by a car and its place among other world events of April 1995. The fellas read from MCA, John Kennedy Toole, J.G. Ballard and Henry Miller. And then ponder why 1% is better than 0%.