We are back with the final episode in a seven-part reflection series with my guest, Vanessa, where she walks us through the hard-earned lessons she learned on her dating journey—lessons from both the show Ready to Love and her real life.
We’re talking about insecure men—not the everyday kind of insecurity that we all experience from time to time, but the kind that can escalate quickly from uncomfortable… to unsafe. The kind that shows up as control, manipulation, and even calculated harm when a woman dares to exercise her right to say “no.”
Don’t forget - if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me like the one I share in this episode, then I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode!
HOW I CAN HELP YOU: Interested in our services?
Choose your option here.
HOW YOU CAN HELP ME: Contribute to my dissertation by sharing your romantic experiences.
Submissions:
Submit your Secret Story
Submit your Safe Story
Literature & Links:
Connect with Me:
Website: www.joyicerobinson.com
Instagram: @joyicerobinson
Patreon: Become a Patron
Work With Me: Book a Session
Be Featured: Share a Secret Story
Today’s episode takes us into one of those hard-won lessons that’s less about being right, and more about knowing when to stop trying to be understood—because sometimes? The effort to explain, defend, and fix just… ain’t worth it.
So grab your tea or tumbler, and settle in. Because we're getting into the cost of reasoning with resistance, the power of knowing when to let go, and what it really takes to love wisely.
Don’t forget - if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me like the one I share in this episode, then I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode!
HOW I CAN HELP YOU: Interested in our services?
Choose your option here.
HOW YOU CAN HELP ME: Contribute to my dissertation by sharing your romantic experiences.
Submissions:
Submit your Secret Story
Submit your Safe Story
Literature & Links:
Connect with Me:
Website: www.joyicerobinson.com
Instagram: @joyicerobinson
Patreon: Become a Patron
Work With Me: Book a Session
Be Featured: Share a Secret Story
In today’s episode, we’re continuing our post-show reflection series with our girl Vanessa from Ready to Love: Dallas.
This one is for all of us who lead with our hearts, sometimes to our own detriment. Vanessa walks us through a lesson she calls “Care on Credit,” and we unpack what it means to offer care freely, up front, before it’s been earned and how that can be both a beautiful gift and a heavy burden.
Don’t forget - if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me like the one I share in this episode, then I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode!
HOW I CAN HELP YOU: Interested in our services?
Choose your option here.
HOW YOU CAN HELP ME: Contribute to my dissertation by sharing your romantic experiences.
Submissions:
Submit your Secret Story
Submit your Safe Story
Literature & Links:
Connect with Me:
Website: www.joyicerobinson.com
Instagram: @joyicerobinson
Patreon: Become a Patron
Work With Me: Book a Session
Be Featured: Share a Secret Story
While we often hear that hardships refine us and trauma strengthens us, this conversation takes a more honest look at what really happens when people go through hard things and don’t come out better on the other side.
Vanessa and I discuss how to discern when someone is still emotionally unavailable or unsafe, and how to determine whether the cost of staying connected is simply too high. We also discuss attachment styles, the internal pressure to be healed before partnership, and the reality that some people want unconditional love more than they want to be accountable for how they show up.
Don’t forget - if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me like the one I share in this episode, then I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode!
HOW I CAN HELP YOU: Interested in our services?
Choose your option here.
HOW YOU CAN HELP ME: Contribute to my dissertation by sharing your romantic experiences.
Submissions:
Submit your Secret Story
Submit your Safe Story
Literature & Links:
Connect with Me:
Website: www.joyicerobinson.com
Instagram: @joyicerobinson
Patreon: Become a Patron
Work With Me: Book a Session
Be Featured: Share a Secret Story
Vanessa returns to share one of her most personal and powerful lessons: how oversharing, misplaced trust, and unguarded vulnerability can backfire. Together, we unpack the emotional weight of transparency, the importance of discernment, and the reality that not everyone deserves access to your voice. From the group chat to the confessionals, we explore what it means to protect your peace, mind your mouth, and still show up as an authentic woman in the world.
Don’t forget - if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me like the one I share in this episode, then I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode!
HOW I CAN HELP YOU: Interested in our services?
Choose your option here.
HOW YOU CAN HELP ME: Contribute to my dissertation by sharing your romantic experiences.
Submissions:
Submit your Secret Story
Submit your Safe Story
Literature & Links:
Connect with Me:
Website: www.joyicerobinson.com
Instagram: @joyicerobinson
Patreon: Become a Patron
Work With Me: Book a Session
Be Featured: Share a Secret Story
Join me and Vanessa from Ready to Love: Dallas Fort Worth for our second reflective conversation on the lessons she’s learned since filming wrapped.
We frame our conversation through the lens of insight, hindsight, and foresight: what she’s come to understand, what she’s had to unlearn, and how she’s now showing up with more emotional clarity, relational courage, and spiritual alignment. This episode’s core lesson? Sometimes, the best thing you can do for your love life is go off script.
Vanessa opens up about how clinging too tightly to a checklist, a playbook, or a set of expectations can keep you from receiving the very thing you say you want. From there, we unpack the value of loosening your grip, cultivating feminine discretion, receiving masculine support, and embracing God’s direction over your own plan. Whether you’re healing from heartbreak, navigating dating again, or trying to stay open to unexpected blessings—this one’s for you.
Don’t forget - if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me like the one I share in this episode, then I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode!
HOW I CAN HELP YOU: Interested in our services?
Choose your option here.
HOW YOU CAN HELP ME: Contribute to my dissertation by sharing your romantic experiences.
Submissions:
Submit your Secret Story
Submit your Safe Story
Literature & Links:
Connect with Me:
Website: www.joyicerobinson.com
Instagram: @joyicerobinson
Patreon: Become a Patron
Join me and Vanessa from Ready to Love: Dallas Fort Worth for our first reflective conversation on the lessons she’s learned since filming wrapped.
This episode reminds us that love isn’t something to be “mastered.” It’s to be studied, practiced, and for us to grow into. Vanessa’s story is a testament to the beauty of being teachable, the humility of letting go of what you thought you knew, and the power of showing up with curiosity instead of control. Whether you’re dating, healing, or evolving, this conversation will challenge and inspire you to seek knowledge, sit with reflection, and move forward with intention.
Don’t forget - if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me like the one I share in this episode, then I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode!
HOW I CAN HELP YOU: Interested in our services?
HOW YOU CAN HELP ME: Contribute to my dissertation by sharing your romantic experiences.
Submissions:
Submit your Secret Story
Submit your Safe Story
Literature & Links:
Connect with Me:
Website: www.joyicerobinson.com
Instagram: @joyicerobinson
Patreon: Become a Patron
Work With Me: Book a Session
Be Featured: Share a Secret Story
Join me as I celebrate my 40th turn around the sun and the second anniversary of my pod! Today’s show is a vulnerable, wisdom‑packed walkthrough of my year‑long “Journey to 40” Selfhood Project.
From sun‑drenched Mediterranean moments to soul‑stretching grief work, I share how an intentional blueprint can change the way we show up in life, love, and legacy.
Don’t forget - if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me like the one I share in this episode, then I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode!
HOW I CAN HELP YOU: Interested in mentorship or coaching?
Choose your option here.
HOW YOU CAN HELP ME: Contribute to my dissertation by sharing your romantic experiences.
Submissions:
Submit your Secret Story
Submit your Safe Story
Literature & Links:
See the new site: The DC Relationship Education Center
Connect with Me:
Website: www.joyicerobinson.com
Instagram: @joyicerobinson
Patreon: Become a Patron
Work With Me: Book a Session
Be Featured: Share a Secret Story
Join me as I celebrate women 40+, particularly navigating life beyond their mooning years and entering their wisdom era. With a mix of science, lived experience, and cultural reverence, this episode unpacks the Grandmother Hypothesis, dispels ageist myths, and reminds listeners that the value of a woman deepens, not declines, with age.
From evolutionary biology to ancestral intelligence, I speak truth to power about the distinct beauty and purpose of women in their menopausal and postmenopausal years. Whether you’re a mother, auntie, godmother, or simply a woman growing deeper in her own becoming, this episode is a love letter to you.
Don’t forget - if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me like the one I share in this episode, then I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode!
HOW I CAN HELP YOU: Interested in mentorship or coaching?
Choose your option here.
HOW YOU CAN HELP ME: Contribute to my dissertation by sharing your romantic experiences.
Submissions:
Submit your Secret Story
Submit your Safe Story
Literature & Links:
Connect with Me:
Website: www.joyicerobinson.com
Instagram: @joyicerobinson
Patreon: Become a Patron
Work With Me: Book a Session
Be Featured: Share a Secret Story
In this behind‑the‑scenes solo episode, Joyice pulls back the curtain on her semi-unexpected, but divinely timed, rebrand. Expect equal parts testimony and strategy as Joyice catches you up on the major happenings in her life, shares her choice to rebrand, teaches some spiritual gems, and invites you in on what’s next for the pod!
Don’t forget - if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me like the one I share in this episode, then I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode!
HOW I CAN HELP YOU: Interested in mentorship or coaching?
Choose your option here.
HOW YOU CAN HELP ME: Contribute to my dissertation by sharing your romantic experiences.
Submissions:
Submit your Secret Story
Submit your Safe Story
Literature & Links:
Being Seen in Marriage: Why Year 4 Matters
See the new site: The DC Relationship Education Center
Connect with Me:
Website: www.joyicerobinson.com
Instagram: @joyicerobinson
Patreon: Become a Patron
Work With Me: Book a Session
Join me as I chat with Kera who reflects on her datinggrowth, sharing her evolution from uncertainty to confidently knowing what she wants and asking for it.
She recounts a memorable "makeup date" where she held a man accountable for a slip-up, clearly stating how he could make it up to her—and he did!
Through candid conversation, she showcases the power ofself-awareness, clarity, and setting standards in dating, proving that women can position themselves to enjoy the romantic pleasure they desire.
Also, as always, don’t forget - if you have a Secret Storyyou want to share with me like the one I share in this episode, then I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode!
HOW I CAN HELP YOU: Interested in mentorship or coaching?
Choose your option here.
HOW YOU CAN HELP ME: Contribute to my dissertation by sharing your romantic experiences.
Submissions:
Literature & Links:
Connect with Me:
Join Joyice and Jeremiah, a husband-wife team, in a conversation about a sensitive complementary pair, Validation & Challenge, that every relationship needs. Listen in as we explain their definitions, distinctions, how they work together, and how to provide them with practical examples for both men and women.
Also, as always, don’t forget - if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me like the one I share in this episode, then I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode!
HOW I CAN HELP YOU: Interested in mentorship or coaching?
Choose your option here.
HOW YOU CAN HELP ME: Contribute to my dissertation by sharing your romantic experiences.
Submissions:
Literature & Links:
CORRECTION: The Conversation is on Feb 16th, not the 9th.
Connect with Me:
Join Joyice and Jeremiah, a husband-wife team, in a conversation about an essential complementary pair, Admiration & Adoration, that every relationship needs. Listen in as we explain their definitions, distinctions, how they work together, and how to activate them with practical examples for both men and women.
Also, as always, don’t forget - if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me like the one I share in this episode, then I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode!
HOW I CAN HELP YOU: Interested in mentorship or coaching?
Choose your option here.
HOW YOU CAN HELP ME: Contribute to my dissertation by sharing your romantic experiences.
Submissions:
Literature & Links:
CORRECTION: The Conversation is on Feb 16th, not the 9th.
CORRECTION: This author has not earned a PhD.
Connect with Me:
Join Joyice and Jeremiah, a husband-wife team, in a conversation about a foundational complementary pair, Security & Stability, that every relationship needs. Listen in as we explain their definitions, distinctions, how they work together, and how you can work on developing them with practical examples for both men and women.
Also, as always, don’t forget - if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me like the one I share in this episode, then I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode!
HOW I CAN HELP YOU: Interested in mentorship or coaching? Choose your option here.
HOW YOU CAN HELP ME: Contribute to my dissertation by sharing your romantic experiences.
Submissions:
Literature & Links:
Connect with Me:
Join Joyice and Jeremiah, a husband-wife team, in a conversation about the difference between complementary pairs and opposite pairs as a means of examining your thinking on how you approach dating, relationships, and marriage. Because it is important that we view men and women as complements, not opposites.
Also, as always, don’t forget - if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me like the one I share in this episode, then I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode!
HOW I CAN HELP YOU: Interested in mentorship or coaching? Choose your option here.
HOW YOU CAN HELP ME: Contribute to my dissertation by sharing your romantic experiences.
Submissions:
Submit your Secret Story or email me a podcast@matchmarrymate.com
Book your Awareness + Secret Story Session
Submit your Safe Story
Literature & Links: Moon, Mood, & Menses Calendar
Nudge by Richard H. Thaler & Cass R. Sunstein
Connect with Me:
Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/
Instagram: @matchmarrymate
Patreon: Become a Patron
Work With Me: Book a Call
Be Featured: Share a Secret Story
Happy January, Lovebugs!
January is for reflection and revelation, and a time to understand the power of spiritual planting and to reconcile our human duality of good nature and evil inclination.
Join me in an exploration of more depth of who we are as women including reflective practices as an in-step task toward increasing our wisdom. I’m presenting four main topics: power of reflection (hindsight, insight, foresight), gratitude, cycles and seasons, the role of meaning-making, as well as some final thoughts.
Also, as always, don’t forget - if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me like the one I share in this episode, then I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode!
HOW I CAN HELP YOU: Interested in mentorship or coaching? Choose your option here.
HOW YOU CAN HELP ME: Contribute to my dissertation by sharing your romantic stories.
Submissions:
Submit your Secret Story or email me a podcast@matchmarrymate.com
Book your Awareness + Secret Story Session
Submit your Safe Story
Literature & Links: Join January’s Monthly Conversation
2025 Moon, Mood, & Menses Calendar
Connect with Me:
Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/
Instagram: @matchmarrymate
Patreon: Become a Patron
Work With Me: Book a Call
Be Featured: Share a Secret Story
Happy New Year, Lovebugs!
Meet my best friend, Jessica. Join this conversation between me and her as we discuss how we became friends, our friend contract, motherhood, female intimacy, marriage and family, and turning 40–with a surfacing theme of redemption.
You’re in for a treat as you come to know a different side of me in this episode.
Also, as always, don’t forget - if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me like the one I share in this episode, then I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode!
HOW I CAN HELP YOU: Interested in mentorship or coaching? Choose your option here.
HOW YOU CAN HELP ME: Contribute to my dissertation by sharing your romantic stories.
Submissions:
Submit your Secret Story or email me a podcast@matchmarrymate.com
Book your Awareness + Secret Story Session
Submit your Safe Story
Literature & Links:
Connect with Me:
Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/
Instagram: @matchmarrymate
Patreon: Become a Patron
Work With Me: Book a Call
Be Featured: Share a Secret Story
Happy New Year’s Eve, Lovebugs!
Kaity and I are back with another fun and festive show to close the year, and we’re inviting you along to play with us. Join us as we share our expertise and personalities and discuss at least one story per month for all of 2024.
For each story, we’ll judge it as either MESSY or MAGICAL. As you listen to our takes, decide for yourself or see if you can guess the one we chose.
CORRECTION: I mentioned one wedding from a Match Marry Mate client, but we actually had TWO! :)
Also, as always, don’t forget - if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me like the one I share in this episode, then I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode!
HOW I CAN HELP YOU: Interested in mentorship or coaching? Choose your option here.
HOW YOU CAN HELP ME: Contribute to my dissertation by sharing your romantic stories.
Submissions:
Submit your Secret Story or email me a podcast@matchmarrymate.com
Book your Awareness + Secret Story Session
Submit your Safe Story
Literature & Links Mentioned:
Special 06: 2023 “Black Love” Wrapped
Who TF Did I Marry: 3 Lessons from RessaTeesa
10 Lessons Learned from the “Who TF Did I Marry?” Series
The Kind of Love That Black Women Make: Female Capital & Cost
Connect with Me:
Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/
Instagram: @matchmarrymate
Patreon: Become a Patron
Work With Me: Book a Call
Be Featured: Share a Secret Story
Lovebugs, we’ve made it to the final Friday of 2024! Assuming you’ve listened to Minisode 04 or you’re a Match Marry Mate client (or you want to be), tune in as I walk you through one approach you can take as you process your year-end reflections and prepare yourself for 2025!
HOW I CAN HELP YOU: Interested in mentorship or coaching? Choose your option here.
HOW YOU CAN HELP ME: Contribute to my dissertation by sharing your romantic experiences.
Submissions:
Submit your Secret Story or email me a podcast@matchmarrymate.com
Book your Awareness + Secret Story Session
Submit your Safe Story
Literature & Links Mentioned:
2025 Moon, Mood, & Menses Calendar {regular}
2025 Moon, Mood, & Menses Calendar {Biblical}
Connect with Me:
Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/
Instagram: @matchmarrymate
Patreon: Become a Patron
Work With Me: Book a Call
Be Featured: Share a Secret Story
Today’s show is a Secret Story! Join me as I narrate the journey of a successful, 40-something Black couple, both previously married and navigating an exclusive relationship for about ten months.
What sparked their challenge? It was a late-night call from an old business mentor who just happened to be an old flame from twenty years ago.
The question becomes, how much do you share with your partner when integrating past connections into the present? Does timing affect trust, and can it impact respect?
Together, we explore how both partners processed revelations about past romantic ties and set new emotional boundaries.
Also, as always, don’t forget - if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me like the one I share in this episode, then I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode!
HOW I CAN HELP YOU: Interested in mentorship or coaching? Choose your option here.
HOW YOU CAN HELP ME: Contribute to my dissertation by sharing your romantic
Submissions:
Submit your Secret Story or email me a podcast@matchmarrymate.com
Book your Awareness + Secret Story Session
Submit your Safe Story
Literature & Links Mentioned:
34: Sharing Emotional Reciprocity
Connect with Me:
Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/
Instagram: @matchmarrymate
Patreon: Become a Patron
Work With Me: Book a Call
Be Featured: Share a Secret Story
Time Stamps:
[0:43] - This episode discusses trust, respect, and communication through a Secret Story
[4:44] - A woman who faced disclosure challenges in her new relationship
[7:15] - Personal conviction led her to revisit her approach and the impact on her boyfriend
[9:59] - Navigating different expectations around transparency and emotional perspectives
[13:47] - Hear how the boyfriend responded with insightful questions
[16:20] - Understanding timing and its impact on reconciliation without blame or judgment
[18:41] - Relationships require trust when guidelines are undefined
[21:37] - A friend's visit emphasized disclosure timing, mutual respect, and clear communication
[27:07] - By setting boundaries, she facilitated a convo that shifted focus from trust to respect
[30:39] - The boyfriend's concerns about respect stemmed from past experiences
[33:13] - Emotional awareness, trust, and respect are important
[35:59] - She struggled with the onset of emotional distance, causing further strain
[41:03] - The impact of past experiences, mismatched needs, and communication barriers
[42:55] - A common way couples differ on how they approach trust
[49:16] - The importance of creating mutual definitions for your relationship
[52:09] - The danger of applying judgments that do not fit in your current relationship
[54:27] - Alignment requires intentional effort and shared understanding
[56:32] - Collaborative convos can feel seamless when both partners effectively contribute
