“How’s your brother?" "How are your parents?” Sound familiar?
If you’ve ever felt like people are quick to ask about your loved one struggling with substance use—but rarely ask how you’re doing—you’re not alone. Or maybe they jump straight into offering advice.
I know that feeling well. In this episode, I’m answering the questions I get asked most about my brother’s addiction—and the ones I wish people asked instead.
The ones I hear all the time sound like:
“Do you think he’s ready for treatment this time?”
“What caused him to use?”
“Is your family doing better now?”
But those aren’t the questions I wish people asked.
Because it’s not about blame—it’s about being seen.
This episode is for every sibling who’s tired of being the messenger, the fixer, or the spokesperson. It’s for the ones who want to talk about their relationship with their sibling as they see it—not through the lens of addiction, but through love, boundaries, and truth.
📘Download our FREE, sibling e-book: 6 actions to help navigate a sibling’s substance use journey
🤝Join our FREE and PRIVATE sibling-focused community: Siblings For Love of Recovery
What does it really mean to love someone through addiction — and how do we move beyond the idea that rehab is the only way forward?
The answer is rarely simple. We want to show up, to help, to protect — but sometimes our love feels heavy, confusing, or not enough.
Joanna and I talk about the complicated love of siblings — the guilt, the hope, the heartbreak — and how stories like hers and mine can remind us that none of us are alone in this.
In The Opioid Trilogy, Joanna brings these stories to life with unflinching honesty: Brother captures her intimate phone calls with her brother as he navigates the fragile cycle of recovery; Do No Harm follows Raina McMahan’s 17-year struggle with heroin and the healing power of connection over punishment; and Coming Home traces Tahira Malik’s journey of rebuilding after addiction and incarceration, and her creation of a safe space for women reentering society.
Together we dig into:
The complicated love of siblings — the guilt, the hope, the heartbreak
Paths to recovery beyond rehab
The failures of the rehab industry
How to help and support a loved one in early recovery, or sober curious
And what it means to love someone through addiction, even when you don’t have the answers
If you’ve ever wrestled with the idea of tough love, or questioned, “Am I loving them the right way?” this conversation is for you.
📘Download our FREE, sibling e-book: 6 actions to help navigate a sibling’s substance use journey
🤝Join our FREE and PRIVATE sibling-focused community: Siblings For Love of Recovery
📲Connect with FLOR: Instagram and TikTok
🎙Guest speaker: Joanna Rudnick
Watch The Opioid Trilogy’s short films:
Ep 1: Brother
Ep 2: Do No Harm
Ep 3: Coming Home
“Rat Park,” explained:
What happens to the child who’s always told to “be good” while all the attention goes to their sibling? They grow up invisible. They become the Glass Child.
In the third and final episode of our Parentification Series, I talk with TEDx speaker Alicia Meneses Maples, who coined the term glass child, about what it’s really like to be the sibling who carries the burden quietly. We go deep into:
The crushing pressure of being “the good kid”
Parents leaning on you like their therapist
The silence and shame of having no space for your own emotions
How it all shows up later in toxic relationships and burnout
And what healing, boundaries, and acceptance actually look like
If you’ve ever felt unseen in your own family, this one will hit home.
📘Download our FREE, sibling e-book: 6 actions to help navigate a sibling’s substance use journey
🤝Join our FREE and PRIVATE sibling-focused community: Siblings For Love of Recovery
📲Connect with FLOR: Instagram and TikTok
🎙Guest speaker: Alicia Meneses Maples
Related content:
What if the version of you that kept your family functioning isn’t the version you want to be anymore? You might have heard the term, “cyclebreaking” or “breaking generational trauma,” but what exactly does that mean and how do you know if you’re ready to change and challenge how you’ve done things before?
Growing up in a family shaped by addiction, people-pleasing, and the urge to “fix,” I knew it was time to break patterns. In this raw and honest conversation, I sit down with Kate Nichols, a LCSW who focuses on cyclebreaking to talk about what that really means, and what happens to us—and our families—when we decide that the dysfunction ends with us.
We place a special emphasis on the role of siblings, their dynamics and how they’re impacted when a parent or other sibling struggle with addiction.
Together we unpack the guilt, the grief, and the slow, steady work of building a life that’s yours—not one you inherited out of obligation.
🎯 This episode will help you:
📘 Download our FREE, sibling e-book: 6 actions to help navigate a sibling’s substance use journey
🤝 Join our FREE and PRIVATE sibling-focused community: Siblings For Love of Recovery
📲 Connect with FLOR: Instagram and TikTok
🎙 Guest speaker: Kate Nichols, LCSW
Related content:
If you were the kid who held it all together—the one who comforted your parent, kept your sibling safe, made things feel normal when they absolutely weren’t—this episode is for you.
In the first episode of our Parentification 101 mini-series, I sit down with therapist and author Whitney Goodman to talk about what it really means to be a parentified child—and why it so often falls on the eldest daughter.
We talk about the invisible labor kids take on in families affected by addiction and dysfunction. The emotional weight. The unspoken expectations. The way that "being the responsible one" can follow us into adulthood—shaping our relationships, our sense of self, and our deepest fears.
I share what it felt like to be the second mom in my family: the pressure to fix, to manage, to make everything okay—even when I was barely holding it together myself.
This conversation might stir up things you’ve kept buried for a long time. But naming it is how we start to loosen its grip.
Because once we see the role we were never meant to play, we can finally choose a different one.
🎯 This episode will help you understand:
What parentification actually is—and how to spot it in your story
The difference between emotional and logistical parentification
📘 Free sibling e-book: 6 actions to help you navigate a sibling’s substance use journey.
Download here: https://www.forloveofrecovery.com/e-book
🤝 Join our sibling support community: A private group for siblings navigating a loved one’s addiction.
Join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1001711494318102
Share your story
Connect with siblings who get it
Access tools, support, and ongoing conversation
Follow us on social for more sibling stories and tools:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/forloveofrecovery/
🎙 More from this episode
Listen to our Family Dynamics 101 episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/5dVDA080Dx8SjrDR0Wx5GK
Download Whitney’s parentification workbook: https://callinghome.co/topics/the-parentified-child-workbook
More from Whitney's work:
Brock Bevell takes us inside his journey—from working as an undercover cop to battling opioid addiction, and ultimately, to becoming a recovery advocate for the Mesa, AZ community.
After a career-ending injury and medical retirement, Brock didn’t just lose his job—he lost his identity. He opens up about the mental health spiral that followed, his doctor’s flawed belief that cops are somehow immune to addiction, and the devastating moment he realized he had become the very person he judged while on the job..
This isn’t a story about rock bottom—it’s a story about what happens next.
Today, Brock leads street-level outreach through The Fentanyl Project, connecting with people deep in addiction, whether they’re ready for change or not. He speaks candidly about the emotional pain that drives substance use, the broken systems that keep people stuck, the evolving fentanyl crisis, and the hope that recovery is always possible—even if the timing isn’t perfect.
This episode may help you:
See the connection between identity loss, pain and substance use
Understand why fentanyl is so hard to walk away from
Learn what actually helps people change
Discover four key areas that support long-term recovery
Download our FREE, sibling e-book: 6 actions to help navigate a sibling’s substance use journey
Join our sibling-focused community: Siblings For Love of Recovery
Connect with FLOR: Instagram and TikTok
Episode resources:
You've probably heard the myths: that offering housing, food, or money to someone struggling with addiction just “enables” them. That people using suboxone or methadone aren’t ready to make a “real change.” But what if those ideas are not only wrong—but harmful?
In this episode, harm reduction advocate and person in recovery Sarah Laurel dismantles the most persistent misconceptions about harm reduction and addiction, and what it means to truly show up for someone you love. She helps us rethink how harm reduction can not only save lives—but relationships too.
Sarah shares her journey through substance use and recovery, the unwavering support of her mother, and the complicated but evolving bond she shares with her siblings. She speaks candidly about choosing abstinence (recognizing it's not for everyone), why practicing harm reduction still requires boundaries, and how the most compassionate path forward often begins with meeting people exactly where they are.
Sarah also shares how she and the Savage Sisters are saving lives every day in Philadelphia—supporting people who’ve survived overdose and helping families take meaningful action, whether or not their loved ones live with them.
If you’ve ever wrestled with questions like “Am I enabling?”, wondered what harm reduction really looks like in practice, or struggled to balance love with boundaries—this episode is for you. Sarah’s story will help you unpack the nuance, explore the many forms harm reduction can take, and empower you to make choices rooted in compassion, clarity, and your own values.
This episode may help you:
Understand how providing housing, MAT, food and compassion helps save lives
Discover the spectrum of harm reduction practices families can practice
Balance love and boundaries while staying true to your values
Download our FREE, sibling e-book: 6 actions to help navigate a sibling’s substance use journey
Join our sibling-focused community: Siblings For Love of Recovery
Connect with FLOR: Instagram and TikTok
Episode resources:
Safe Use Hotlines: Safe Spot and Never Use Alone
I used to think it was normal—expected, even—for older siblings to step in as a “third parent,” especially when addiction takes hold of a brother or sister. But the deeper my brother’s addiction pulled him in, the more I realized that the real change had to start with me.
In this episode, I open up about my journey from being consumed by fear, anger, and shame to accepting uncertainty, practicing compassion, and learning to meet my brother where he is. If you’ve ever felt torn between detaching or staying connected, I’ll share the research and real-life stories that helped me redefine my role—not as a parent, but as a sibling—while strengthening our bond in the process.
Download our FREE, sibling e-book: 6 actions to help navigate a sibling’s substance use journey
Join our sibling-focused community: Siblings For Love of Recovery
Connect with FLOR: Instagram and TikTok
Episode resources:
Image credit: True Connections: Rat Park
When someone "gets sober" or begins their recovery journey, we want to believe everything will fall back into place. But the truth? Recovery is M E S S Y.
Relationships don’t magically heal overnight. Trust isn’t instantly restored. And for families, the real work is just beginning.
In this episode, Janice Johnson Dowd—author, social worker, and person in recovery—gets real about what it takes to rebuild trust and connection after addiction and the stories shared in her new book, Rebuilding Relationships in Recovery.
She opens up about the lies she told herself, the shame she carried, and the gut-wrenching moment she knew she had to stop drinking. Janice also shares what she wishes her kids had known about addiction, how shame and stigma affect families, the crucial role siblings and loved ones play in healing, why recovery is never a straight line, and the hardest part about facing yourself without substances.
This is a conversation about love, making uncomfortable changes, boundaries, and second chances.
If you're trying to reconnect with a sibling, parent, or partner in recovery—or if you're the one picking up the pieces—this episode is for you.
This episode may help you:
Understand why addiction should be treated like any other disease
See how addiction isolates not just the addict, but the whole family
Learn how to support a loved one in early recovery without losing yourself
Set boundaries without shutting someone out
Improve communication and practice open-ended conversations
Join our sibling-focused community: Siblings For Love of Recovery
Connect with FLOR: Instagramand TikTok
About our guest: Janice Johnson Dowd, author and social worker
Buy Janice’s books here: www.janicejohnsondowd.com/my-mission
Rebuilding Relationships in Recovery
Sibling estrangement can create grief like no other, especially when addiction is part of the equation. In this episode, Fern Schumer Chapman, journalist and author of Brothers, Sisters, Strangers and The Sibling Estrangement Journal, opens up about her 40-year estrangement from her brother and the profound emotional toll it took on her.
Fern’s story offers a raw look at the pain and complexities of sibling relationships affected by addiction. She shares how setting boundaries, in the face of addiction, sometimes means cutting ties—and the unique grief that comes with that decision. Whether you’re navigating your own estrangement or just seeking to understand the dynamics at play, Fern provides practical advice for coping with the heartache, finding healing, and ultimately, reclaiming peace.
If you’ve ever struggled with family dynamics shaped by addiction or the loss of a sibling relationship, this episode is for you.
This episode may help you:
Join our sibling-focused community: Siblings For Love of Recovery
Connect with FLOR: Instagram and TikTok
About our guest: Fern Schumer Chapman, author and journalist
Buy Fern’s books here:
Feeling torn between “tough love” and showing support? What if the answer is not choosing between helping or detaching, but finding a balance? In this episode, Molly Sinclair, takes us through her journey of navigating her mom’s, her brother’s, and her own addiction with empathy and boundaries. Molly explains evidence-based tools like the Invitation to Change approach, whether you should let someone hit “rock-bottom” and other insights to help you start the new year with clarity and compassion.
This episode may help you:
Decide whether Al-Anon/Nar-Anon, CRAFT, or the Invitation to Change is right for you
Understand how to support a loved one through their addiction or recovery
Identify what’s a true emergency, and how to respond (not react) to it
Join our sibling-focused community: Siblings For Love of Recovery
Connect with FLOR:
Our guest speaker: Molly Sinclair
Family addiction can bring holiday stress, uncertainty, heartbreak, and tension to what’s supposed to be a joyful season. If gatherings feel overwhelming as you're navigating a loved one’s substance use (especially a sibling's), you're not alone.
Minaa B., licensed social worker, mental health educator, and author of Owning Our Struggles, shares how to set boundaries, prioritize self-care, and protect your peace amidst the chaos. Because even in difficult times, you deserve a peaceful holiday season celebrated in a way that works best for you.
This episode may help you:
Navigate complex sibling and family relationships during family gatherings
Discover strategies to build boundaries and create your own peace during holidays
Feel empowered to start your own holiday traditions that work for you
Join our sibling-focused community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1001711494318102
Connect with FLOR:
Instagram: @forloveofrecovery
TikTok: @forloveofrecovery
Our guest speaker, Minaa B:
About Minaa B: https://www.minaab.com/
Ever wondered about the stories behind the people you pass on the street experiencing homelessness? The reality can hit close to home, especially when a loved one is grappling with addiction, mental health struggles, or the risk of losing housing.
In this episode, we speak with Kevin Adler, author of When We Walk By and founder of Miracle Messages. Kevin reveals the powerful, often hidden narratives of those facing homelessness and highlights how the strength of relationships and reconnection can pave the way to recovery and stable housing.
This episode may help you:
Understand how using person-first language can shift perspectives and reduce the stigma around addiction.
Recognize the barriers—societal, health, and systemic—that make finding housing so tough.
Find ways to strengthen and sustain healthy connections with loved ones facing these challenges.
See the impact of timely support and genuine connection in helping someone move toward recovery and stable housing.
Join our sibling-focused community
Connect with other siblings
Share your own story in a safe space
Support for navigating the journey
Join here: Siblings for Love of Recovery
Connect with FLOR
Instagram: @forloveofrecovery
Facebook: For Love of Recovery
TikTok: @forloveofrecovery
Our guest speaker
About: Kevin Adler
Kevin’s book: When We Walk By
Teen drinking or drug use may start off with curiosity or peer pressure, but it often goes beyond that. In this episode, we uncover the connection between undiagnosed ADHD and substance use—a surprising link that’s often missed but affects nearly half of adolescents in drug and alcohol treatment.
Learn how to spot the signs of both conditions, and discover how families can support loved ones struggling with these challenges. We'll also provide practical tips for treatment, management and building strong support systems.
This episode may help you:
Bring clarity to why substance use is often a side effect of untreated ADHD
Help listeners learn how to recognize the signs of SUD and ADHD
Provide tips for treating each disorder and things to look for when managing both
OUR SIBLING-FOCUSED COMMUNITY
CONNECT WITH FLOR
OUR GUEST SPEAKER
When a family gathering transforms into a chaotic battleground, no one leaves unscathed. Season 2 of The Bear took us beyond the chaotic kitchen of the restaurant and into the heart and home of the Berzatto family. In the emotional episode "Fishes," we witnessed the complex dynamics and strong sibling bonds of the Berzatto family during a turbulent Christmas dinner that becomes a battleground for unresolved pain.
At the center of the storm are brothers Carmy and Mikey, bound by their shared passion for food and their troubled family history, yet divided by addiction and varied mental health struggles.
We'll explore how their sister Natalie navigates this tumultuous family environment, the impact of their mother's bipolar disorder and uncontrolled drinking on the family, and how the ever-present fear of failure and overwhelming shame fuels the destructive cycle of addiction, high anxiety, and ultimately, Mikey’s suicide.
This episode may help you:
FYI: This episode is full of spoiler alerts if you haven’t yet watched The Bear’s “Fishes” episode.
FACEBOOK GROUP: Siblings For Love of Recovery
* Connect with other siblings
* Share your own story in a safe space
* Support for navigating the journey
> Join here: Siblings for Love of Recovery
CONNECT WITH FOR LOVE OF RECOVERY
* Instagram: @forloveofrecovery
* Facebook: For Love of Recovery
* TikTok: @forloveofrecovery
✅ SUBSCRIBE SO YOU DON’T MISS ANY EPISODES
> Subscribe: For Love of Recovery
WATCH "FISHES" EPISODE & HIGHLIGHTS:
> Watch ‘Fishes’ on Hulu: https://www.hulu.com/series/the-bear-05eb6a8e-90ed-4947-8c0b-e6536cbddd5f
> Watch Carmy and Mikey’s emotional conversation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNDrlgmS3z8&t=7s
> Watch the fork-throwing scene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3nxQ9TZ0ZtI&t=34s
> Watch Carmy open up at the NA meeting: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1fjITOkFnnE&t=22s
At some point, most of us have been blamed for something, have taken on more responsibility than we can handle or cracked a joke to avoid an awkward moment. For families where there’s addiction, these experiences are often heightened and can ignite intense feelings like fear, guilt and shame.
This episode dives into the complicated family dynamics at play and how siblings often find themselves in unexpected roles, like the “hero”, “golden child”, the “scapegoat” or others. John Varsam, a licensed psychotherapist specializing in treating substance use and family issues, helps unpack how these roles emerge, how they impact how family members talk to each other, and how to start breaking free. Join us as we explore what to expect as roles shift within the family, and hear personal experiences on what has and hasn’t worked for John and Dominique when navigating their siblings’ substance misuse and their family dynamics.
This episode will help you:
Understand what the roles in a dysfunctional family often are
Identify the roles in your family
Feel empowered to make a change
FACEBOOK GROUP: Siblings For Love of Recovery
* Connect with other siblings
* Share your own story in a safe space
* Support for navigating the journey
> Join here: Siblings for Love of Recovery
CONNECT WITH FOR LOVE OF RECOVERY
* Instagram: @forloveofrecovery
* Facebook: For Love of Recovery
* TikTok: @forloveofrecovery
JOHN VARSAM
About: https://jvpsychotherapy.com/about/
KARPMAN’S DRAMA TRIANGLE, EXPLAINED:
https://www.bringthedonuts.com/essays/the-drama-triangle/
*This essay breaks down the Drama Triangle in a super digestible way, and is designed for business coaching, but the analysis still applies*
Recognizing when helping is actually doing more harm than good can be confusing when a loved one is misusing drugs or alcohol. Sibling relationships can be even more complicated depending on age differences and whether there’s a natural desire to support one another.
This episode dives into what those raw and complex emotions look like for one sister, Gillian. She opens up about her journey with a younger sister battling alcohol dependence, how their childhood dynamic evolved into adulthood, the challenges of setting boundaries, and ultimately, how she found a way to support her sister while prioritizing her own well-being.
Hear how Gillian rediscovered how to help her sister and learned the power of building boundaries to prioritize her own wellbeing.
This episode can help you:
Understand the shift in how a sibling relationship can change with drug or alcohol dependence
Build boundaries to set healthy limits to support your loved one without enabling
Protect your peace with practical strategies for showing up for your sibling in a healthy way
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FACEBOOK GROUP: Siblings For Love of Recovery
* Connect with other siblings
* Share your own story in a safe space
* Support for navigating the journey
> Join here: Siblings for Love of Recovery
🤳CONNECT WITH FOR LOVE OF RECOVERY
* Instagram: @forloveofrecovery
* Facebook: For Love of Recovery
* TikTok: @forloveofrecovery
Dominique introduces her personal journey of loving and supporting her younger brother, Justin, through his struggles with substance use. She discusses the complexities of addiction, the impact it has on siblings and their entire family, and when helping risks doing more harm than good. Dominique also shares the inspiration behind FLOR as the need to shatter stigma and focus on personal recovery.
Join her for a journey that navigates sibling bonds and family dynamics, addiction as a disease, and the paths to hope and healing.
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FACEBOOK GROUP: Siblings For Love of Recovery
* Connect with other siblings
* Share your own story in a safe space
* Support for navigating the journey
> Join here: Siblings for Love of Recovery
🤳CONNECT WITH FOR LOVE OF RECOVERY
* Instagram: @forloveofrecovery
* Facebook: For Love of Recovery
* TikTok: @forloveofrecovery
