In this special episode of Every Widow Thing, our friend, Stephanie, joins us to share her experience of profound loss and grief after her 15-year-old daughter, Kobi, died in a horrific home accident. Stephanie honors Kobi's life as an artist and photographer, recounts the tragic accident, and reflects on moments of spiritual connection that followed. Join us for a testament to resilience, enduring love, and finding light through signs, faith, and the healing power of family and nature.
00:00:00 - Introduction to Stephanie's Story
On today's episode, the host introduces Stephanie, a mother sharing her journey of grief after losing her 15-year-old daughter, Kobi.
00:01:30 - Kobi's Life and Personality
Stephanie reflects on Kobi's vibrant personality, her talents, and the love she had for her family and community.
00:03:00 - Foreshadowing Before the Tragedy
Stephanie shares significant events leading up to Kobi's death, highlighting moments that seemed to foreshadow the tragedy.
00:05:30 - The Day of the Accident
A detailed account of the day Kobi passed away, including her symptoms and the family's interactions before the incident.
00:09:00 - The Moment of Impact
Stephanie describes the moment Kobi was injured and the spiritual connection she felt during that time.
00:12:00 - Emergency Response
The family's frantic efforts to get help and the chaos that ensued as they awaited emergency responders.
00:14:30 - Arrival at the Hospital
The family's experience at the hospital, including the difficult discussions about Kobi's condition and organ donation.
00:18:00 - Creating Lasting Memories
Stephanie recounts the emotional process of making handprints with Kobi and the significance of those memories.
00:20:30 - Signs and Spiritual Connections
The discussion of signs from Kobi and how Stephanie and her family have felt her presence since her passing.
00:25:00 - Healing and Grief
Stephanie reflects on the healing journey for her family, the different ways they cope with grief, and the importance of self-care.
00:30:00 - Advice for Other Grieving Parents
Stephanie shares insights and advice for parents who have lost children, emphasizing the importance of hope and openness to signs.
00:35:00 - The Role of Faith in Grief
The conversation shifts to the role of faith in navigating grief and the importance of being open to spiritual experiences.
00:40:00 - Conclusion and Reflection
The episode wraps up with reflections on the lasting impact of Kobi's life and the ongoing journey of healing for Stephanie and her family.
In this episode of "Every Widow Thinks," we had the privilege of speaking with Jeff, a widower from Austin, who shared his deeply personal journey following the loss of his wife, Mona, in 2019. Jeff opened up about their love story, which began with a blind date in Seattle, and how they built a life together in Austin, raising their daughter, Julia.
Mona's battle with a rare cancer, liposarcoma, lasted nearly nine years, during which Jeff and Mona navigated the complexities of treatment while striving to maintain a sense of normalcy for their young daughter.
Resources:
https://flatwater.org
https://wondersandworries.org
https://www.hospiceaustin.org/our-services/christopher-house/
00:00:00 - Introduction to Jeff and His Story
00:01:00 - Meeting Mona: A Blind Date in Seattle
00:02:40 - Moving to Austin and Starting a Family
00:04:20 - Mona's Cancer Diagnosis: Liposarcoma
00:05:50 - The Journey of Treatment and Family Support
00:07:30 - Living with Cancer: A New Normal
00:08:50 - Mona's Determination to Maintain Normalcy
00:10:20 - Navigating the Medical Community as Physicians
00:12:00 - Traveling and Creating Memories Together
00:14:10 - The Shift in Health: Rapid Progression
00:16:00 - Emergency Surgery and Hospital Stays
00:18:15 - Transitioning to Hospice Care
00:19:40 - Final Days at the Christopher House
00:21:00 - Talking to Julia About Cancer and Loss
00:22:30 - Julia's Coping Mechanisms and Support
00:25:00 - Reflections on Grief and Milestones
00:27:10 - Adjusting to Life After Loss
00:28:40 - Therapy and Support Resources
00:30:30 - Planning for the Future: Wills and Wishes
00:32:00 - Mona's Legacy: Letters and Memories
00:34:00 - Navigating Dating After Loss
00:36:00 - Julia's Growth and Challenges
00:46:00 - Conclusion and Reflections on Parenting
In this episode of Every Widow Thing, we welcome Suzanne, a dear friend of Holly's, who shares her deeply personal journey of loss and healing after the suicide of her ex-husband, Michael. Suzanne reflects on their 11-year marriage, the struggles he faced with alcoholism and depression, and the impact of his tragic death on their children.
Join us as we discuss the complexities of grief, the importance of self-compassion, and the healing modalities that helped Suzanne navigate her trauma, including acupuncture, compassion classes, and even a psilocybin journey.
We also touched on the loss of her beloved dog, Mojo, and the beautiful way she honored his memory. Suzanne's story is a testament to resilience and the power of self-compassion in the face of unimaginable loss.
00:00:00 - Introduction and Guest Introduction
Welcome back to the podcast; introduction of Suzanne, the guest who lost her ex-husband to suicide.
00:01:00 - Memories of San Francisco
Suzanne shares her memories of meeting Holly in San Francisco and their friendship.
00:02:00 - Michael's Struggles
Discussion about Suzanne's ex-husband, Michael, his struggles with alcoholism and depression, and the impact of COVID.
00:03:00 - The Tragic Discovery
Suzanne recounts the traumatic experience of discovering Michael after his suicide.
00:05:00 - Relationship Dynamics
Exploration of the relationship between Suzanne and Michael post-divorce, including co-parenting challenges.
00:06:00 - Notifying the Children
Suzanne describes the painful process of informing her children about their father's death.
00:08:00 - The Kids' Reactions
Discussion on how Suzanne's children reacted to the news and the immediate aftermath.
00:09:00 - Grief and Shock
Suzanne reflects on her feelings of shock and helplessness after Michael's death.
00:10:00 - Understanding Suicide
Discussion on the misconceptions surrounding suicide and the importance of understanding it as a disease.
00:12:00 - The Note
Suzanne talks about the note left by Michael and its impact on her grief.
00:14:00 - Children's Involvement in Grief
How Suzanne's children took charge of planning their father's memorial service.
00:15:00 - Self-Care and Healing
Suzanne shares her journey of self-care and healing after Michael's death.
00:18:00 - Exploring Different Modalities
Discussion on various healing practices Suzanne engaged in, including Reiki and acupuncture.
00:20:00 - Compassion Class
Suzanne describes her experience in a compassion class and its significance in her healing journey.
00:22:00 - Psilocybin Journey
Suzanne explains her psilocybin journey and its effects on her healing process.
00:25:00 - Finding Joy After Grief
Suzanne reflects on how her experiences have led to a greater appreciation for life.
00:27:00 - Advice for Those in Grief
Suzanne offers advice for individuals currently experiencing grief.
00:30:00 - The Importance of Self-Compassion
Discussion on the necessity of self-compassion during difficult times.
00:32:00 - Body Language and Energy
Exploration of how body language can affect emotional energy and mindset.
00:34:00 - Mojo's Story
Suzanne shares the story of her beloved dog, Mojo, and the impact of his passing.
00:39:00 - Healing Rituals for Mojo
Details about the rituals Suzanne performed to honor Mojo after his death.
00:42:00 - The Book of Awakening
Suzanne discusses a book that has been meaningful to her during her healing journey.
00:44:00 - Conclusion and Resources
Wrap-up of the episode, including resources for compassion and healing.
resources mentioned the episode:
Into the Magic Shop- James Doty
Deb Pilcher's grief journey began years before her husband's death, with the stillbirth of their first daughter, Anna.
In a surprising twist, that first devastating loss was the catalyst for healing and hope when her husband, Wally, was killed in a driving accident that left her oldest son in critical condition. Deb was given an image that to this day allows her to reframe her grief and feel joy in spite of her devastating losses.
Deb's story—marked by child loss, widowhood, two battles with cancer, and a new marriage—is shared here to bring hope to others who are grieving.
Hope is a superpower!
00:00:00 - Introduction and Guest Introduction
Whitney introduces Holly and Deb, sharing the significance of Deb's support during her early widowhood.
00:01:30 - Deb's Grief Journey Begins
Deb recounts the beginning of her grief journey with the stillbirth of her first daughter and the subsequent loss of her husband, Wally.
00:02:50 - The Impact of Wally's Death
Deb shares the details of Wally's tragic death in a car accident and the immediate aftermath for her and their children.
00:05:00 - Jacob's Survival and Trauma
Discussion about Jacob's injuries from the accident and the challenges of communicating the news of Wally's death to him.
00:08:00 - The Role of Friends and Family
Deb reflects on the support she received from friends and family during the crisis and the importance of community.
00:10:30 - Navigating Grief and Denial
Deb discusses her initial denial of Wally's death and her focus on Jacob's recovery.
00:12:30 - The Long Road of Grief
Deb explains how she coped with her grief over the years, focusing on her children and gradually processing her loss.
00:15:00 - Finding Joy Amidst Grief
Deb shares how she reframed her grief and found moments of joy, including the concept of "reunion day."
00:20:00 - The Challenge of Moving Forward
Discussion on the fear of moving on from grief and the struggle to let go of memories.
00:23:00 - Humor in Grief
Deb and Whitney talk about the importance of humor in coping with grief and share funny anecdotes.
00:27:00 - Dating After Loss
Deb discusses her journey to dating again after Wally's death and the challenges she faced.
00:30:00 - Meeting Clay
Deb shares the story of how she met her current husband, Clay, through her friends.
00:35:00 - The Wedding and Family Dynamics
Deb describes her wedding to Clay and how her children have adjusted to the new family dynamics.
00:40:00 - Balancing Memories of the Past
Deb talks about the importance of acknowledging Wally's flaws while celebrating his memory and ensuring her children understand that no one is perfect.
Holly is in a funk and that's totally normal. Grief is a part of our life now, even 8 years in. It definitely is not as heavy and ever present as the early years, but to think that there will come a day when grief has left you, is not realistic.
In this episode of Every Widow Thing, Whitney and Holly dive into the complex emotions surrounding grief, loneliness, and the unexpected role of humor in healing. As they share personal stories and experiences, they explore how laughter can coexist with sorrow, even in the most challenging moments.
Join them as they discuss:
The nuances of grief and the feeling of loneliness, even years after loss.
The importance of acknowledging all emotions related to grief.
Hilarious anecdotes, including a story about a widow twerking at a funeral and the use of cardboard cutouts to honor loved ones.
The healing power of laughter and how it can lighten the heaviest of situations.
Whether you're navigating your own grief journey or simply looking for a lighthearted take on a heavy topic, this episode offers a blend of humor and heartfelt conversation. Remember, where you are right now is not where you will stay—laughter and healing are possible!
Don't forget to like, subscribe, and share your thoughts in the comments!
Get ready! Our latest episode is here, and it's a special one: our 50th!
We reflect on our experiences, share heartfelt stories from our recent meet and greet with listeners, and celebrate the monumental milestones in our lives, including the graduations of Keira and Holly's firstborns.
What would we tell our newly widowed selves about the future? Tune in to find out!
Don't dip out early! Keira gives us fresh material for some good-natured ribbing and it is "sole-ful!"
In this informative episode of "Every Widow Thing," host Lacey is joined by Whitney, Holly, Keira, and special guest Cheryl Martin, a retired grief therapist and recent widow. Together, they explore the complexities of grief, particularly the often-overlooked challenges of the second year after loss. Cheryl shares her personal journey of navigating widowhood and the insights she gained from her professional experience as a grief counselor.
Throughout the conversation, they discuss the importance of empathy, the need for ongoing support, and the reality of living with grief long after the initial loss. Cheryl offers valuable tools for coping, including the significance of allowing oneself to feel a range of emotions, the power of community, and the necessity of seeking help when needed.
Join us as we delve into the realities of grief, the importance of remembering our loved ones, and the ways we can support each other through this difficult journey. Whether you're a widow/widower, a friend, or someone looking to understand grief better, this episode is filled with compassion, wisdom, and hope.
Topics Covered:
The challenges of the second year of grief
The importance of empathy and support
Tools for coping with loss
The significance of remembering loved ones
Finding the right therapist and support groups
Don't forget to like, subscribe, and share your thoughts in the comments!
Okay, grab your comfiest blanket and a big ol' bowl of snacks, because the "Every Widow Thing" crew is spilling all their binge-watching addictions! Make sure to stick around until the end for some interesting new trends for those looking for love!
They discuss everything from the fun and fantasy of "Younger" to the dark humor in "Bad Sisters" and the emotional rollercoaster of the new Bridget Jones movie, "Mad About the Boy."
But it's not all fluff! We're also getting real about how shows like "Shrinking" and "Landman" tackle grief, and how those stories hit home for us.
Plus, you won't believe the wild TikTok trend we found about love at... Home Depot?! Seriously. And why the local grocery store soup station might also be worth a shot!
Whether you need a good laugh or something to make you think, this episode's got your back. So, hit play and join the pajama party!
TIME STAMPS:
00:00:00 - Introduction and Lighthearted Topics
00:00:20 - Current Shows and Recommendations
00:01:30 - Younger: A Fun Fantasy
00:02:39 - Schitt's Creek and Bad Sisters
00:03:27 - Soothing True Crime Shows
00:04:02 - Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy
00:05:22 - Grief Themes in Movies
00:06:38 - Shrinking: A Grieving Perspective
00:08:00 - Handling Widowhood in TV Shows
00:10:42 - Cordially Invited: A Family Dynamic
00:12:02 - Landman: A Complex Narrative
00:15:25 - Virgin River: A Mixed Bag
00:16:10 - Home Depot Dating Trend
00:19:07 - Soup Flirting and Closing Thoughts
Every Widow Thing enjoyed a super staycation at the charming Poppy Round Top Airbnb, just an hour and a half from Austin, Texas. Over Valentine's Day weekend, they dove into Mel Robbins' inspiring new book, The Let Them Theory.
Listeners can expect a heartfelt and relatable discussion as the podcast explores how this book resonates with the widow community, tackling the pressures of people-pleasing and the importance of releasing control.
With personal stories and laughs, they share how embracing the "let them" mindset empowers them to reclaim their lives and pursue dreams without the weight of judgment. This episode offers a fun and uplifting conversation, reminding listeners to focus on their own happiness and let others do their thing!
Timestamps:
00:00:00 - Welcome to Poppy Round Top
Introduction to the staycation and the setting for the podcast episode.
00:00:21 - Mel Robbins' The Let Them Theory
Discussion about Mel Robbins' new book and its relevance to the hosts.
00:01:38 - Insights from the Book
Exploration of key insights from the book and their application in daily life.
00:02:55 - Vulnerability and Control
The impact of vulnerability on relationships and the desire for control, especially in the widow community.
00:03:47 - People-Pleasing Tendencies
Discussion on the tendency to please others and the stress it causes, particularly for women.
00:04:41 - Empowerment Through Letting Go
The empowering message of the book and the challenges of letting go of control.
00:05:56 - Navigating Widowhood
How the book's concepts apply to the experiences of widows and their journeys.
00:07:07 - Judgment from Others
Addressing the judgment widows face from others regarding their choices and timelines.
00:09:21 - Awareness of Control
The importance of recognizing what is within one's control and what is not.
00:10:30 - Expressing Feelings
The significance of expressing feelings rather than suppressing them to avoid resentment.
00:12:24 - Finding Balance
The need for balance in caring for oneself while supporting children through trauma.
00:14:59 - Friendship Dynamics
Reflections on friendships and feelings of exclusion after loss.
00:16:30 - Setting Boundaries
The importance of setting boundaries in relationships and personal well-being.
00:19:06 - The Role of Change
Understanding that change in others can only happen when they are ready.
00:20:38 - Parenting and Control
The struggle of controlling children's lives and the realization of their independence.
00:22:38 - Self-Confidence Through Responsibility
How allowing children to take responsibility fosters their self-confidence.
00:25:24 - The Power of Letting Go
The transformative power of letting go of control and expectations.
00:27:05 - Taking Back Power
The importance of reclaiming personal power after loss and trauma.
00:28:00 - Overcoming Fear of Judgment
The journey of overcoming the fear of what others think and pursuing personal dreams.
00:29:07 - Final Thoughts on Dreams
Encouragement to follow one's dreams and the freedom that comes from letting go of others' opinions.
Holly shares about a disappointing date with a man who drove a red Porsche. And, no, it wasn't Jake Ryan. ;) After the holidays, it appears that there are more men on the apps, but is the quality better? That remains to be seen. Hear the widows' take on their dating app experiences and dating overall. Keira met her fiancé on Hinge, so maybe there is hope. (We had a few technical difficulties with the microphones. We have addressed it going forward. Thanks for your patience.)
00:00:00 - The Struggles of Young Widows
Discussion on societal expectations for young widows and the impact on their lives.
00:00:26 - Sound Issues Acknowledgment
Introduction and acknowledgment of sound issues in the episode.
00:00:40 - Coping with Widowhood
Conversations about coping mechanisms and the ongoing journey of widowhood.
00:01:13 - Dating Apps and Experiences
Discussion on the influx of people on dating apps in January and personal experiences with them.
00:01:39 - First Date Experience
Details of a first date at Jeffrey's and the expectations versus reality.
00:02:14 - Date Dynamics
Exploration of the conversation dynamics during the date and the focus on the male perspective.
00:03:48 - Revelation of Widowhood
The challenge of discussing widowhood during the date and the missed opportunities for connection.
00:05:14 - Post-Date Reflections
Reactions and feelings after the date, including disappointment and frustration.
00:08:07 - Communication After the Date
Discussion on the importance of closing off communication after a date and the common rudeness in dating.
00:09:44 - Dating Etiquette
Conversations about how to handle dating situations and the importance of being upfront.
00:10:56 - The Numbers Game in Dating
Discussion on the idea that dating can be a numbers game and the importance of experience.
00:12:11 - The Challenge of Grieving
Exploration of the complexities of dating while grieving and the emotional toll it takes.
00:14:10 - Past Relationships
Reflections on past relationships and the challenges of finding a meaningful connection.
00:15:46 - Navigating New Relationships
Discussion on the difficulties of dating someone who is also a widower and the complexities involved.
00:16:22 - Experiences with Arrogant Dates
Sharing of experiences with arrogant dates and the impact of their behavior.
00:18:04 - Listener Questions on Dating
Addressing listener questions about dating and the challenges of blending families.
00:20:20 - Setting Boundaries in Dating
Discussion on the importance of setting boundaries when dating someone with children.
00:21:14 - Honesty in Dating Conversations
The significance of being honest about intentions and desires in dating.
00:23:39 - Talking to Kids About Dating
Sharing experiences on how to approach the topic of dating with children.
00:25:02 - Keeping Kids Out of the Loop
Discussion on the decision to keep children unaware of dating until it becomes serious.
00:27:30 - The Complexity of Blending Families
Exploration of the challenges faced when blending families and the impact of ex-partners.
00:30:25 - Reflections on Past Relationships
Reflections on the emotional challenges of past relationships and the importance of healing.
00:32:14 - The Journey of Healing
Discussion on the ongoing journey of healing and the complexities of moving forward.
00:35:17 - Future Dating Outlook
Conversations about future dating plans and the desire for meaningful connections.
00:36:40 - Community and Support
Encouragement to join the community for support and shared experiences among widows and widowers.
The widows come back from a holiday party to share some wisdom on the holidays, dating, and more.
"It's the most wonderful time to be widowed. NOT"
Topics discussed:
-How the holiday funk has changed over the years
-Taking a break from widowhood
-How Whitney gets dating advice from a reality show called Later Daters
-Is it stealing or sharing when you share your grief with those who are grieving?
-Advice from our present selves to our past selves
Join our insider's group on FB to connect with other widows and widowers. https://www.facebook.com/groups/523215036841828
Follow us on social media
https://www.instagram.com/everywidowthing/
https://www.facebook.com/everywidowthing
Whitney and Holly do an impromptu recording to discuss holiday cards, a Later Daters obsession and Whitney's boyfriend.
What is EMDR? How does it work? Who does it help? On this episode Lacey, Keira and Whitney speak to EMDR specialist Katie Cummings. Katie is a renowned trauma therapist with advanced training in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), a powerful approach to healing trauma.
In Part 1, you will observe Katie facilitating an EMDR session with Lacey to address her aviophobia (fear of flying.)
Keira will also discuss her profound experience with Emotion Efficacy Therapy (EET). A variety of therapeutic approaches can be effective in treating trauma, and EMDR is a proven method.
https://www.katiecummingslpc.com/
Find us on Facebook and Instagram.
Join our Every Widow Thing Insiders Facebook group to connect with other widows and widowers.
In part 2, Lacey, Keira, and Whitney continue their conversation about EMDR therapy with Katie Cummings, a renowned trauma therapist with advanced training in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR).
Katie discusses the different techniques used in an EMDR session, such as tapping and buzzers, and explains how triggers and targets are an important part of the process.
Katie gives listeners tips on what to look for when choosing a therapist and how EMDR can specifically help people who have suffered loss.
https://www.katiecummingslpc.com/
Find us on Instagram and Facebook.
Join our Every Widow Thing Insiders Facebook group to connect with other widows and widowers.
There's a new term for empty nesting! Holly and Whitney talk about their experience with "Free Birding" it now that their youngest kids have gone to college.
Whitney shares a helicopter parent fail story and both widows discuss how grief plays a part in this new chapter.
In the second half of the episode, the widows share tips on how to find your people. Do you think sitting at the bar in a restaurant is a good or bad idea? Holly just won't let it go.
Check out the new Facebook page Every Widow Thing Insiders and connect with other widows. https://www.facebook.com/groups/523215036841828
During this period of transition, the widows anticipate a less consistent release schedule for episodes. Feel free to connect with us on Instagram and or Facebook.
Survive and thrive!
www.everywidowthing.com
Many times during the recordings, the widows go off topic and it has to be cut from the final edit. Lucky for you, that creates bonus episodes! Listen in as Lacey, Keira, Whitney and Holly dicuss their experiences of cremation vs funeral. There is also a discussion of how kids want mommy to have another person. You may be shocked by what you hear! A perfect example of when trauma meets humor.
www.everywidowthing.com
Today EWT speaks with 19-time triathlon competitor and Austin fitness guru, David Garza. A year ago, David and the love of his life broke up, but a friendship remained.
Listen in as David shares his personal story of loss and gives insight into how exercise can help you move through grief, and that there are also gifts in grief.
This episode is brought to you by Roger Brooks and his team at Strategic Investment Management. As an Austin-based fiduciary financial advisory firm, Roger and his team bring decades of experience and empathy to help people regain financial control through life's ups and downs so you can move forward with confidence. www.strategicim.com. 512-341-9898
Have you ever wondered what it's really like to navigate the complex world of widowhood? Behind the façade of resilience, many widows are keeping secrets. In this raw and honest episode, real women share their personal stories, revealing the unspoken truths that often accompany grief. Join us as they share their confessions, revealing the hidden struggles, unexpected joys, and newfound strength that emerge in the aftermath of grief. Discover that you're not alone and find solace in the shared experiences of others.
This episode is brought to you by Roger Brooks and his team at Strategic Investment Management. As an Austin-based fiduciary financial advisory firm, Roger and his team bring decades of experience and empathy to help people regain financial control through life's ups and downs so you can move forward with confidence. www.strategicim.com. 512-341-9898
People think about living well, but have you considered dying well? What would it look like if you had it your way? We spend time planning the important moments in our lives- weddings, births of our children, but what about the last moment of your life? Lacey, Keira, Holly and Whitney welcome hospice advocate Arnetta Robinson to the show. They discuss the gift of hospice and how you can create a meaningful experience for yourself or loved one. Spoiler alert: Some plan for everything from roses on the bed to a good looking visitor reading poetry in the room to Whitney playing the ukulele....it's all in the planning.
This episode is brought to you by Roger Brooks and his team at Strategic Investment Management. As an Austin-based fiduciary financial advisory firm, Roger and his team bring decades of experience and empathy to help people regain financial control through life's ups and downs so you can move forward with confidence. www.strategicim.com. 512-341-9898
