The process of divorce is scary enough, but dividing financial assets can be its own nightmare. In this episode, Gabriella is joined by Gerard Zielinski and Rhonda Noordyk to share the divorce horror stories they’ve seen happen to their clients and how they helped clients avoid a scary outcome whenever possible.
Rhonda Noordyk is a CDFA®, Amazon bestselling author, and host of the Disrupting Divorce Podcast. After witnessing the financial industry fail women, Rhonda channeled her experience as a financial advisor to become a CDFA® and financial divorce advocate for women.
Gerard Zielinski is a CDFA® who has spent the last 15 years providing individuals, couples, and family law attorneys with financial tools, resources, and expertise in divorce. Gerard specializes in the valuation and division of retirement benefits including Military Retired Pay and the Federal Service Retirement Systems.
Phone: 888-203-7117
Some key takeaways from this episode include:
Retirement accounts and pensions should very rarely be split 50/50. Unfortunately, judges and attorneys are not the financial experts CDFAs® are, and might order these assets to be split 50/50 if there isn’t an expert present to educate both parties.
Never sign documents or make decisions without input from your divorce team. An attorney might come to you with a deal that looks great on paper, but your CDFA® will be able to see if you’re leaving money on the table.
You should have direct access to and communication with every member of your divorce team. Your attorney should not be the go-between for the experts brought in for your case, you should be privy to - and ultimately, in control of - the strategy to ensure you’re getting what you actually want.
Marriage is about love, but divorce is about money. The Divorce & Money Podcast, hosted by Gabriella E. Martinelli, CDFA®, CDS®, is all about how to navigate your separation and divorce so you can set yourself up for a strong financial future. Gabriella is the Founder at Ever After Wealth®, a divorce financial strategy firm.
Connect with Gabriella & Ever After Wealth:
When divorce enters the picture, business owners often face a terrifying question: Am I going to lose everything I’ve built? When you’re going through divorce, emotions run high and those emotions can cloud your judgment in ways that cost you time, money, and credibility. In this second part of my series for business owners, I’m sharing the biggest mistakes I see my clients make when divorce enters the picture. From relying too heavily on attorneys to letting your attachment to the business drive your decisions, I’ll walk you through the traps that can derail your settlement and show you how to avoid them.
Some key takeaways from this episode include:
Your attorney isn’t your financial strategist. Lawyers understand the law, but they don’t understand business finances the way a CDFA does.
Messy books can delay your case, cost you more, and lead to the wrong assumptions about your income and business value.
Emotional arguments rarely work in court. Judges look at numbers, not feelings, which is why clear financial strategy is non-negotiable.
Marriage is about love, but divorce is about money. The Divorce & Money Podcast, hosted by Gabriella E. Martinelli, CDFA®, CDS®, is all about how to navigate your separation and divorce so you can set yourself up for a strong financial future. Gabriella is the Founder at Ever After Wealth®, a divorce financial strategy firm.
Connect with Gabriella & Ever After Wealth:
When divorce enters the picture, business owners often face a terrifying question: Am I going to lose everything I’ve built? In the first part of my series for business owners, I’m speaking directly to those of you who are already in the divorce process, or see it coming. I’ll walk you through the financial blind spots no one warns you about, the emotional mistakes that cause the most damage, and the first steps you can take to protect your business. This isn’t just about numbers. This is about your future, your legacy, and your ability to move forward without losing control of the company you built.
Some key takeaways from this episode include:
If you’re running personal or family expenses through your business, it’s time to stop. Messy books create confusion, distrust, and unnecessary legal battles. When your numbers aren’t clean, the wrong assumptions can be made and those assumptions can cost you.
Your income isn’t just your paycheck. If you take both W-2 wages and distributions, or if you’ve been inconsistent in how you pay yourself, that can lead to double counting and inflated support calculations. The key is clarity and no sudden changes mid-process.
A proper business valuation is non-negotiable. It needs to be done by someone who understands your industry and how divorce works. Don’t let someone unfamiliar with your business tell you what it’s worth without context. And if your spouse gets a valuation, you need someone who can spot the holes in it.
Marriage is about love, but divorce is about money. The Divorce & Money Podcast, hosted by Gabriella E. Martinelli, CDFA®, CDS®, is all about how to navigate your separation and divorce so you can set yourself up for a strong financial future. Gabriella is the Founder at Ever After Wealth®, a divorce financial strategy firm.
Connect with Gabriella & Ever After Wealth:
When you’re going through a divorce, and every financial decision matters, the wrong financial guidance can have lasting consequences. In this episode, I sit down with Nicole Milone, Chief Wealth Strategist at Solaris Strategic Wealth, to discuss why your wealth advisor should not double as your divorce strategist. We explore the key differences between the roles of a wealth manager and a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®, and how trying to combine them can derail your divorce, expose you to legal risk, and leave long-term money on the table.
The second half of our conversation airs later this season, where Nicole shares how she helps clients rebuild and grow their wealth after divorce.
Nicole Milone, Chief Wealth Strategist at Solaris Strategic Wealth, helps clients use money as a tool to achieve their goals, buy back time, and build a legacy.
Connect with Nicole:
Some key takeaways from this episode include:
Divorce financial strategy is a specialized discipline. Even the best wealth advisors aren't trained to anticipate the legal and strategic complexities of divorce.
When your CDFA® and wealth advisor work together, you can get coordinated financial guidance that supports your short-term divorce outcomes and your long-term financial goals.
Maintaining joint accounts or making large financial moves during your divorce can lead to serious legal and financial setbacks. Always consult your CDFA® before making any changes.
Marriage is about love, but divorce is about money. The Divorce & Money Podcast, hosted by Gabriella E. Martinelli, CDFA®, CDS®, is all about how to navigate your separation and divorce so you can set yourself up for a strong financial future. Gabriella is the Founder at Ever After Wealth®, a divorce financial strategy firm.
Connect with Gabriella & Ever After Wealth:
If you’re getting divorced, or even just thinking about it, here’s the truth: financial strategy isn’t just helpful, it’s absolutely necessary.
In this episode, I’m pulling back the curtain on real client stories that show what can happen when you try to get through divorce without a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® on your team.
From wasted time and sky-high attorney bills to life-changing clarity and resolution, these stories are a reminder that legal advice alone isn’t enough. You need someone who knows how to protect your money, your future, and your peace of mind.
Episode referenced:
Some key takeaways from this episode include:
Attorneys know the law. A CDFA® knows the money. If your case involves business ownership, real estate, or high income, assuming your attorney can “handle it all” could leave you financially exposed.
Strategy saves more than money. It saves momentum. One client was stuck in a four-year legal battle. Four months after we started working together, he settled and moved on.
You deserve clarity. Not confusion. Divorce numbers are complicated. When you understand what’s yours, what’s possible, and what you actually want, you can make smart choices that hold up for the long run.
Marriage is about love, but divorce is about money. The Divorce & Money Podcast, hosted by Gabriella E. Martinelli, CDFA®, CDS®, is all about how to navigate your separation and divorce so you can set yourself up for a strong financial future. Gabriella is the Founder at Ever After Wealth®, a divorce financial strategy firm.
Connect with Gabriella & Ever After Wealth:
7. Real Self-Care During Divorce, Hormones & the Midlife Reset You Didn’t Ask For with Debbie Harbeck
Divorce in midlife can feel like an emotional ambush — even for the strongest women. In this episode, I’m joined by certified life and menopause coach Debbie Harbec to talk about how to stay grounded when your body, your future, and your identity all feel in flux. We break down the warning signs of burnout, why high-achievers are often the most at risk, and how to reclaim clarity, calm, and control — without burning out in the process.
Debbie Harbec is a certified life and menopause coach with 20+ years in the health and wellness field. She helps midlife women reclaim their energy, manage symptoms like brain fog and mood swings, and stay centered through major life transitions like divorce.
Listen to Debbie on The Midlife Momentum Podcast.
Learn more about Debbie and book a call with her on her website.
Some key takeaways from this episode include:
Midlife and divorce don’t just overlap — they compound. Hormonal changes during perimenopause can make the emotional weight of divorce feel even heavier. Knowing what’s happening in your body helps you name what you’re up against and navigate it with clarity.
Feeling “off” is your body asking you to listen. Brain fog, exhaustion, mood swings — these aren’t minor. They’re signals. When you tune in early, you give yourself the chance to protect your health and make smarter decisions.
You’re not meant to carry everything. High-achieving women are used to pushing through — but in divorce, that mindset can backfire. Letting go isn’t weakness. It’s strategy. And it creates space for the support you actually need.
Marriage is about love, but divorce is about money. The Divorce & Money Podcast, hosted by Gabriella E. Martinelli, CDFA®, CDS®, is all about how to navigate your separation and divorce so you can set yourself up for a strong financial future. Gabriella is the Founder at Ever After Wealth®, a divorce financial strategy firm.
Connect with Gabriella & Ever After Wealth:
In this episode, I'm diving into one of the most emotionally charged parts of divorce: alimony. Whether you're the one paying or receiving, this conversation is filled with insights to help you move beyond the myths, understand your rights and responsibilities, and create a strategy that makes sense for your financial future. I share what I see most often with clients, how courts actually approach spousal support, and why clarity, not conflict, should lead the conversation.
Some key takeaways from this episode are:
Alimony is not a punishment or a prize. It's a tool to support financial transition—and it requires realistic planning, not emotional reactions.
Your budget needs to be strategic and reasonable. Courts don’t preserve lifestyles; they evaluate needs. Work with a CDFA®, know your numbers, and be honest about what’s essential.
Independence is the ultimate goal. Whether you're paying or receiving, support is temporary. What you really need is a plan to stand on your own.
Marriage is about love, but divorce is about money. The Divorce & Money Podcast, hosted by Gabriella E. Martinelli, CDFA®, CDS®, is all about how to navigate your separation and divorce so you can set yourself up for a strong financial future. Gabriella is the Founder at Ever After Wealth®, a divorce financial strategy firm.
Connect with Gabriella & Ever After Wealth:
Dividing retirement assets can get incredibly complicated and cause a lot of headaches. That’s why I brought my good friend and fellow CDFA®, Gerard Zielinski, onto the podcast. In this episode, we discuss the common pitfalls of dividing retirement accounts, the importance of having an experienced CDFA® on your side, and how to avoid leaving your financial future in jeopardy.
Gerard Zielinski is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA®) who has spent the last 15 years providing individuals, couples, and family law attorneys with financial tools, resources, and expertise in divorce. Gerard specializes in the valuation and division of retirement benefits including Military Retired Pay and the Federal Service Retirement Systems.
Connect with Gerard:
Phone: 888-203-7117
Some key takeaways from this episode include:
There are so many nuances between retirement accounts from person to person, even if the type of account is the same. These nuances complicate how these accounts are divided, which is why bringing in a CDFA® is crucial instead of relying on your divorce attorney to do so.
Doing a discovery with your CDFA® regarding your IRA is so important to avoid the tax implications of splitting your IRA. Your QDRO* language, calculations, and withdrawal forms have to be meticulously put together before dividing this account.
When you can’t agree on how to divide your retirement accounts in your divorce, and you don’t work with a CDFA® to educate you, a judge will ultimately have you divide the accounts 50/50, regardless of the tax implications of that. Bring in a professional early in the process.
*QDRO stands for Qualified Domestic Relations Order - The company you opened your 401K with requires a QDRO to divide that asset.
Marriage is about love, but divorce is about money. The Divorce & Money Podcast, hosted by Gabriella E. Martinelli, CDFA®, CDS®, is all about how to navigate your separation and divorce so you can set yourself up for a strong financial future. Gabriella is the Founder at Ever After Wealth®, a divorce financial strategy firm.
Connect with Gabriella & Ever After Wealth:
If you’re separated or contemplating separation, now is a good time to call a CDFA®. Yes, even before you call a divorce attorney, I recommend calling a CDFA® like me first. In this episode, I share why having a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® on your team first so you can understand the nuances of your financial situation, and so we can start putting together a strategy to get what you want in your divorce if that’s the path you choose.
Resources mentioned:
Listen to Episode 2: What Do You Actually Want?
Some key takeaways from this episode include:
A divorce attorney will start explaining the law and a legal strategy to you immediately, but they aren’t financial experts. By speaking with a CDFA® first, you’ll save money and get the ball rolling on a financial strategy to get what you want in your divorce.
If you’ve already locked down a divorce attorney, it’s not too late to call a CDFA®. No matter in which order you hire your divorce team, your CDFA® will help you get clear on your financial situation and find a resolution you’re happy with.
When an attorney tells you that you don’t need a CDFA®, especially if you’re a high income individual, it’s a red flag. The more complex your financial situation is, the more important it becomes to have a CDFA® on your team.
Marriage is about love, but divorce is about money. The Divorce & Money Podcast, hosted by Gabriella E. Martinelli, CDFA®, CDS®, is all about how to navigate your separation and divorce so you can set yourself up for a strong financial future. Gabriella is the Founder at Ever After Wealth®, a divorce financial strategy firm.
Connect with Gabriella & Ever After Wealth:
Divorce is incredibly personal, but when your soon-to-be ex-spouse is going after the business you’ve put your blood, sweat, and tears into building, it becomes very personal. I have helped countless clients protect their business so they can maintain full ownership of it after their divorce. In this episode, one of my clients graciously offered to share her personal experience of how we strategized to help her get everything she wanted in her divorce, including her business that supported her family financially.
Some key takeaways from this episode include:
Even though you’re a smart, ambitious, and capable person, the task of going through your finances through the lens of divorce is not something you should do on your own. A CDFA® understands the nuances and exactly what to look for, which can easily be missed if you’re not a CDFA®.
If you’re a business owner, maintaining ownership of your business is usually a top priority. Working with a CDFA® will help you create a strategy to protect the business you’ve put so much time and energy into building.
A divorce brings heartbreak, whether you want to end your marriage or not. That’s why it’s so important to have a team behind you to help you separate your feelings from the facts so you can make the best decisions possible, despite the heartbreak.
Marriage is about love, but divorce is about money. The Divorce & Money Podcast, hosted by Gabriella E. Martinelli, CDFA®, CDS®, is all about how to navigate your separation and divorce so you can set yourself up for a strong financial future. Gabriella is the Founder at Ever After Wealth®, a divorce financial strategy firm.
Connect with Gabriella & Ever After Wealth:
One of the first questions I ask my clients when we start working together is “What do you actually want?” It’s a simple question, but it’s not easy to answer. At first, my clients might want to take something they know their spouse wants in the divorce to hurt them or feel in control of the situation, but my job as a CDFA® is to get to the bottom of the “why” behind that, so we can forget about revenge and focus on you and your future. In this episode, I share more about what that discovery process looks like, and how my clients have protected their financial security while getting what they truly want.
Some key takeaways from this episode include:
If your goal while dividing assets is to hurt the other person, instead of focusing on your future and what you need, you will not be happy with the end result. Don’t focus on the other person, focus on what you want for yourself.
There’s also a financial risk to not taking the time to think about what you really want. You might feel very emotionally attached to the family home and the memories it represents, but holding onto a home you can’t afford can have very difficult consequences on your financial future.
Don’t worry about what the other party will say in response to what you ask for in the divorce. It doesn’t matter what their reaction is. With a strong strategy, you can get most - if not all - of what you’re asking for, as long as it’s what you actually want.
Marriage is about love, but divorce is about money. The Divorce & Money Podcast, hosted by Gabriella E. Martinelli, CDFA®, CDS®, is all about how to navigate your separation and divorce so you can set yourself up for a strong financial future. Gabriella is the Founder at Ever After Wealth®, a divorce financial strategy firm.
Connect with Gabriella & Ever After Wealth:
Going through a divorce is overwhelming, difficult, and lonely - and that’s before you even start talking about dividing assets! In this episode, I talk about how a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® - or CDFA® for short - is an important person to have on your divorce team so you can make informed and strategic decisions about your financial future during your divorce. I share what a CDFA® actually does, my unique approach in working with my clients, and red flags to look for when choosing a CDFA®.
Some key takeaways from this episode include:
A CDFA® should only work with you for the duration of your separation and divorce proceedings. Be wary of any CDFA® who’s also trying to sell you insurance or financial products, or who wants to manage your wealth after your divorce.
You cannot afford to go through the divorce process without a CDFA®. While working with one is an investment, it’s one that will give you a huge return, both financially and mentally.
I’m very passionate about education during your divorce. It can be such an overwhelming process, which is why I take the time to explain every step with my clients so they can make the best, most informed decision possible.
Marriage is about love, but divorce is about money. The Divorce & Money Podcast, hosted by Gabriella E. Martinelli, CDFA®, CDS®, is all about how to navigate your separation and divorce so you can set yourself up for a strong financial future. Gabriella is the Founder at Ever After Wealth®, a divorce financial strategy firm.
Connect with Gabriella & Ever After Wealth:
Marriage is about love, but divorce is about money. The Divorce & Money Podcast, hosted by Gabriella E. Martinelli, CDFA®, CDS®, is all about how to navigate your separation and divorce so you can set yourself up for a strong financial future. Gabriella is the Founder at Ever After Wealth®, a divorce financial strategy firm.
