Writer, actor, host, and sexual/mental wellness advocate Brandon Kyle Goodman sits down with Brian to discuss how writing on Netflix’s hit animated series Big Mouth put them on their mission to deshame sex by talking about it. They also cover Brandon’s journey with their husband from monogamy to polyamory, how dating other people has benefited their primary relationship, being an educator of oral pleasure, how to make kindness cool within the queer community, and all about the past, present, and future of Heaux Church. The episode concludes with Brandon helping address a Go Ask Your Dad question from a listener frustrated by how their partner prioritizes a dom hookup over their relationship, and finally, with some words of guidance from Brandon on coming together during these difficult times.

Judson’s return from a trip to Southern California inspires a comparison of Los Angelenos and New Yorkers, and a conversation about how both Judson and Brian’s husband Toby are able to convince most who meet them that they are chill, when their husbands know otherwise. Brian observes Yom Kippur with Judson’s husband, and learns some words of wisdom that help him gain some perspective on how to exist in the current political climate. The two share their thoughts on Netflix’s Boots and Judson theorizes as to whether or not he could survive boot camp himself. The “Hookup of the Week” comes from a world traveler with a special message for a paramour an ocean away. It is then time for a Go Ask Your Dad Extravaganza, as Brian and Judson respond to four listener questions - one from someone who wants help communicating his frustrations about the attention he’s receiving (or not receiving) at bathhouses or sex parties to his partner who’s having a great time; one from someone who wants to explore being a Daddy, but doesn’t trust that what he might say or do will feel safe for others after the traumas he’s overcome on his journey to coming out; one from a couple who identify as shy who are looking to move out of Florida to a more LGBTQ-friendly environment and make friends; and ending with one from a listener asking what the best ways are to make a Daddy feel cared for.

Brian tests whether or not he can make a hookup happen in the limited time available to him while his daughter is at an appointment. Judson crosses state lines for a hookup and receives a cultural education. Brian’s family enjoys a week of the arts–a Chappell Roan concert, the Mamma Mia revival on Broadway, and the Gabby’s Dollhouse movie–and he provides his thoughts on each. Judson feels the “Hookup of the Week” in his heart more than his groin. The two then attempt to tackle the topic of masculinity, how they each approach the expectations to live up to masculine standards, how it has shaped who they are as sexual beings, and the relationship between the standard of masculine beauty in the gay community and the AIDS epidemic. They end by responding to a “Go Ask Your Dad” question from a listener seeking advice after his sex life with his partner whom he loves and who he acknowledges is his person has dwindled over time. Dads and Daddies on the Web: https://www.dadsanddaddies.com/ Dads and Daddies on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dadsanddaddiespod Dads and Daddies on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dadsanddaddiespod Dads and Daddies on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/dadsanddaddiespod.bsky.social

Judson recounts a weekend trip upstate and forgets an unforgettable hookup. Brian envies his husband’s incredibly successful week of hookups, one so plentiful it allowed him to forget one, too. The two then commiserate about the preparation required for bottoming. Brian discusses his tenth trip to see ”Oh, Mary!” and his fifth Mary, Jinkx Monsoon. Judson explains why he chose a trip to Arkansas to celebrate his tenth wedding anniversary. Both are very turned on by a ”Hookup of the Week” that’s far more about the thrill of the chase than the act itself. After the break, Brian shares his heartbreak after some of his family’s main sources of joy became embroiled in hot-button political situations—and on the wrong side. In his quest to be helpful, he shares to-do lists from transgender rights expert Chase Strangio that provide guidance for what cis and trans people can do to aid in protecting the trans community. Judson offers tips for navigating conversations about complex topics one doesn’t feel knowledgeable about. The episode closes with a ”Go Ask Your Dad” question from a listener in the beginning stages of opening his relationship, who is curious about how to incorporate the Love Languages into the process. Dads and Daddies on the Web: https://www.dadsanddaddies.com/ Dads and Daddies on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dadsanddaddiespod Dads and Daddies on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dadsanddaddiespod Dads and Daddies on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/dadsanddaddiespod.bsky.social

Judson accepts a job offer and feels deep appreciation for all the support he received over his past few weeks of unemployment. Brian has found a new love in a sandwich he’s discovered near his office. Brian and Judson express their love for the trans community and ask how they can be best of service in these times of incredible oppression. The super-hot Hookup of the Week comes from a listener who attends Dads and Daddies friend DJ James Anthony’s new party, Unspeakable Joy, where he meets a pair of platonic roommates and brings them home to his boyfriend. The two are then joined by popular bator content creator Bryan Bance, aka XY BK Bry. Bryan talks about the enormity and variety of the bator community, he educates Brian about what it’s like to attend a bator event, he shares how being a bator has made him a better lover, how ejaculation does not always have to be the end goal, and provides thoughts on how one can get started on their own journey exploring masturbation. He also talks about the pleasure of ‘ruined orgasms,’ provides tips on edging, discusses the phenomenon of gooning, and laments the lack of accurate sex education in the U.S. To close, Bryan joins Brian and Judson in responding to a Go Ask Your Dad question from a listener who has only just begun to explore openness in his relationship with his boyfriend and would like advice on setting agreements around communication. Find Bryan, aka, XY BK Bry, on Bluesky! Dads and Daddies on the Web: https://www.dadsanddaddies.com/ Dads and Daddies on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dadsanddaddiespod Dads and Daddies on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dadsanddaddiespod Dads and Daddies on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/dadsanddaddiespod.bsky.social

Judson gets his first tattoo and shares his feelings about hooking up with dog owners. Brian experiences a near-perfect hookup minutes before enduring a far-from-perfect parenting moment. They listen to a short-and-sweet Hookup of the Week that, while quick, was a year in the making. The two are then joined by psychotherapist and musician Darrell Martin. Darrell’s journey takes him from New York’s legendary ballroom scene, appearing in the landmark documentary ”Paris Is Burning,” to writing and producing music for icons such as RuPaul, Pink, and Sheryl Lee Ralph, to his work as an award-winning mental healthcare leader at the intersection of creativity and healing. He talks to Brian and Judson about being a parent to five kids, conquering anxiety, combating shame, harm reduction and sobriety, abandonment issues, polyamory, the alternate definition of “fuck up,” the one and only time he met his father, and the home he found with the House of Xtravaganza. Darrell then helps Brian and Judson respond to a Go Ask Your Dad question from a listener whose open relationship is making him feel inadequate, insecure, and jealous. Find Darrell Martin on the Web: https://darrellmartin.org/ Dads and Daddies on the Web: https://www.dadsanddaddies.com/ Dads and Daddies on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dadsanddaddiespod Dads and Daddies on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dadsanddaddiespod Dads and Daddies on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/dadsanddaddiespod.bsky.social

Judson enjoys a restorative night to himself. Brian bemoans his recent difficulties making hookups happen. The two share thoughts about keeping sex with their husbands steamy after more than a decade of marriage. The Hookup of the Week finds a listener flying some particularly friendly skies. Brian and Judson are then joined by Vanity Fair culture writer Chris Murphy, making his return to the podcast after serving as Dads and Daddies’ very first guest 60 episodes ago! Chris updates the two on his living situation with his boyfriend and debates the virtues of repeat hookups. The three discuss the recent article from New York Magazine’s “The Cut,” titled “We’ve Reached Peak Gay Sluttiness,” written by Steven Phillips-Horst, which is all the buzz within the gay male community. Chris shares his concerns about the demise of reading in our culture, and Brian shares his experience attending “Masquerade,” the new immersive version of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s “Phantom of the Opera” Off-Broadway. Chris then helps Brian and Judson respond to this week’s Go Ask Your Dad question, which comes from a listener seeking advice about how to handle the rejection he feels when his husband isn’t in the mood for sex. Find Chris Murphy on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/christress/ Dads and Daddies on the Web: https://www.dadsanddaddies.com/ Dads and Daddies on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dadsanddaddiespod Dads and Daddies on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dadsanddaddiespod Dads and Daddies on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/dadsanddaddiespod.bsky.social

Judson meets a possible long-lost relative during his very own Hookup of the Week. Brian gushes over Morgan Bassichis’ one-man show, ”Can I Be Frank?” and finally scores his seventh review on The Blowers. The two learn that elementary age kids have caught onto the fact that ‘Daddy’ has sexual connotations. Both are turned on by the voice that delivers this week’s listener-submitted Hookup of the Week. They are then joined by adult entertainment mogul turned DJ, Boomer Banks. Boomer shares his love for his second home of Provincetown, MA, and talks about what it means to be sober in a queer vacation destination. He digs into his childhood struggles with his family, his move from Los Angeles to New York, and takes the two through the evolution of his career from fashion design to go-go dancing to his discovery as a porn performer. He delves into his fight for his place in the industry as a person of color, and how he has fostered the Haus of Banks to support other marginalized adult entertainment performers. He also shares how a surprising and staggering period of grief brought him to his current pursuits as a DJ. The episode ends with Boomer helping Brian and Judson address a Go Ask Your Dad question from a listener looking for advice on exploring new kinks. Boomer Banks on the Web: https://foreskinmafia.com/ Boomer Banks on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/baconlvr Boomer Banks on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@boomerbanks Boomer Banks on BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/boomerbanks.bsky.social Boomer Banks’ Linktree: https://linktr.ee/Boomerbanks Dads and Daddies on the Web: https://www.dadsanddaddies.com/ Dads and Daddies on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dadsanddaddiespod Dads and Daddies on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dadsanddaddiespod Dads and Daddies on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/dadsanddaddiespod.bsky.social

Judson shares a significant life update with both pain and optimism while Brian goes on a perfect date. A listener submits a Hookup of the Week in which he experiences Judson’s definition of Daddyness. They are then joined by actor, writer, comedian and star of his own off-Broadway solo show, ‘Ta-Da!,’ Josh Sharp. Josh talks about how fun it can and should be to live outside the norm as queer people, recounts some of his formative sexual experiences, reminisces fondly about the days of finding sex on Craigslist, shares the secret to the longevity of his 11+-year relationship with his boyfriend, and challenges gay men of a certain age to find new ways to be queer. He discusses the origins and development of ‘Ta-Da!,’ working with the Tony Award-winning director of ‘Oh, Mary!,’ Sam Pinkleton, the significance of ‘Oh, Mary!’s’ breakout success, and the future of his work with longtime comedy partner Aaron Jackson, with whom he wrote and starred in the movie, ‘Dicks: The Musical.’ He also puts the rumors about Lea Michele’s reading ability to rest and reveals why he loves clip-on earrings. Josh then helps Brian and Judson respond to a question from a listener ten years his boyfriend’s senior who wants to avoid developing into a punishing parent in their relationship. Josh Sharp on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cluckcluckjoshsharp Josh Sharp’s Ta-Da on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/joshsharptada/ Josh Sharp’s Ta-Da on the Web: https://www.joshsharptada.com/ Dads and Daddies on the Web: https://www.dadsanddaddies.com/ Dads and Daddies on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dadsanddaddiespod Dads and Daddies on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dadsanddaddiespod Dads and Daddies on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/dadsanddaddiespod.bsky.social

Judson and Brian celebrate the return of their husband and daughter (respectively) after three weeks apart. Judson feels his age taking in the fashions at a Bushwick dance party, while Brian feels his age due to the constant medical upkeep his body suddenly requires. The two are touched by a Hookup of the Week, submitted by a listener who credits the podcast for its inspiration. They are then joined by José Rolón, known as @nycgaydad across social media, where he has garnered more than 750K followers of his adventures as a single gay father to three kids, and has become a leading voice in parenting and LGBTQ+ Latinx representation. José shares the unbelievable story of how he found himself a single dad of three, how and why the video clips of his family became a viral sensation, how he views fame for himself and his children, his experiences navigating dating and sex, his feelings on aging, and how his partner of more than two years has integrated into his family life. He also speaks for the first time about the upsetting ways a far-right conspiracist has manipulated his content, how José is fighting him in court, and how he is so far succeeding in what could prove to be a landmark case for the LGBTQ+ community. José then helps Brian and Judson respond to a Go Ask Your Dad question from a listener who is two months away from becoming a father and is worried about the judgement he will receive from friends, family and even his own husband, if he continues to be as outwardly sex positive as he’s always been. José on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@nycgaydad José on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nycgaydad Dads and Daddies on the Web: https://www.dadsanddaddies.com/ Dads and Daddies on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dadsanddaddiespod Dads and Daddies on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dadsanddaddiespod Dads and Daddies on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/dadsanddaddiespod.bsky.social

Brian gleefully becomes a Provincetown convert and extols the virtues of Family Week. Judson shares two recent learnings about language. Together they follow a listener’s incredible adventures while traveling on the ”Hookup of the Week.” The two are then joined by Rabbi Jason Klein, senior rabbi at the largest LGBTQ synagogue in the world, Congregation Beit Simchat Torah in New York City (not to mention Brian’s first serious boyfriend over 25 years ago). Rabbi Klein talks about his path to becoming a rabbi, how queer people can reclaim their right to religion, how he experiences dating and the apps, sex as a spiritual practice, and his recent arrest for civil disobedience. He also calls on fellow Jews to be the best Jews they can be and stop what is happening in Gaza, and shares some thoughts on combating despair in the current state of world affairs. Rabbi Klein then joins Brian and Judson in responding to a question from a listener struggling with the adjustment to single life after separating from his husband of seven years. Dads and Daddies on the Web: https://www.dadsanddaddies.com/ Dads and Daddies on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dadsanddaddiespod Dads and Daddies on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dadsanddaddiespod Dads and Daddies on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/dadsanddaddiespod.bsky.social

Judson and Brian beat the heat by hunkering down in the basement to answer another set of Go Ask Your Dad questions from our listeners! But first, Brian and Judson each negotiate rules with their husbands for running “sexy errands” during their respective trips to Provincetown. One listener educates Brian and Judson on gay car enthusiast culture, while another educates them on the proper terminology for a sex act discussed on a previous episode. Judson suffers through a tense week at work. Brian suffers through withdrawal from his daughter while she is at sleepaway camp. The “Hookup of the Week” leaves both feeling envious and pondering the magical qualities of hot tubs. After the break, Judson and Brian respond to several listener questions ranging from how best to communicate the desire to see a hookup again, to how to think about integrating one’s gay self with their work self after a promotion to a management position, to how to keep years of shame from turning oneself into a prude, to handling STIs in an open relationship, to what Judson believes to be the toughest question they’ve addressed yet from a listener in an open, long-distance relationship whose demisexual partner has begun to hookup with his roommate. They end with a voice memo from a repeat submitter with a unique request that could help him find the love of his life. Dads and Daddies on the Web: https://www.dadsanddaddies.com/ Dads and Daddies on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dadsanddaddiespod Dads and Daddies on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dadsanddaddiespod Dads and Daddies on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/dadsanddaddiespod.bsky.social

Judson and Brian reunite after three weeks apart. Judson takes a page from our Gay Vacation Anxiety episode to put himself in the best mental and emotional place for two weeks in Provincetown. Brian is forced to admit that he may, in fact, be a Disney Gay. The listener-submitted “Hookup of the Week” inspires a conversation about gay community and joy. After the break, Brian shares a series of new ways he and his husband have found to enjoy their open marriage over the previous few weeks. Judson proposes the ideal “house rules” for hookups when sharing a vacation rental with friends. They end by responding to a Go Ask Your Dad question from a listener expressing concern that there isn’t an overlap in the kinks that interest him and his partner.

Judson is taken out by a stomach bug for a couple of days. Brian attends the sex party he expressed nerves about in last week’s episode. Together, they enjoy a listener-submitted “Hookup of the Week” with a twist. Brian and Judson are then joined by DJ James Anthony. Known as host of the weekly “Get Into The Groove” on SiriusXM’s Studio 54 channel, and for his monthly Saturday residency at the iconic Eagle in New York City, “James Anthony’s House,” James tours the world as a much sought-after DJ, producer, and remixer. In their chat, James takes Brian and Judson through his lifetime journey playing music for people, starting in his earliest days. They discuss the virtues of daytime dance parties, RuPaul and Michelle Visage’s exhaustive knowledge of dance music, the evolution of James’ 22-year marriage, how he and his husband navigate openness today, his relationship with the apps, and his thoughts on aging. James then helps Brian and Judson respond to a Go Ask Your Dad question from a listener struggling with the fact that some aspects of his body are attractive to others, but not to himself. DJ James Anthony on SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/thedjjamesanthony DJ James Anthony on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/djjamesanthony DJ James Anthony on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@djjamesanthony DJ James Anthony on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/djjamesanthony.bsky.social Dads and Daddies on the Web: https://www.dadsanddaddies.com/ Dads and Daddies on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dadsanddaddiespod Dads and Daddies on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dadsanddaddiespod Dads and Daddies on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/dadsanddaddiespod.bsky.social

A gang of neighborhood kids accosts Judson. Brian struggles with parenting solo while his husband is away on business. Judson helps Brian through his anxious feelings about a sex party they both plan to attend. They get a huge laugh from a relatable listener-submitted “Hookup of the Week.” The two then enter into a deep discussion about spirituality. They talk about how they each define the term, what spiritual practice looks like in their day-to-day lives, their personal histories with religion, and how they balance spirituality with the state of the world today. They close by responding to a Go Ask Your Dad question from a listener seeking advice on whether or not to ask out the sexy barista who hands him his coffee every morning, and how to do it appropriately. Dads and Daddies on the Web: https://www.dadsanddaddies.com/ Dads and Daddies on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dadsanddaddiespod Dads and Daddies on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dadsanddaddiespod Dads and Daddies on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/dadsanddaddiespod.bsky.social

Judson shares movie, book, and live music recommendations for the summer. Brian provides an update to his story about his clash with the principal at his children’s school. They both have much to say about a listener-submitted “Hookup of the Week.” They then welcome out and proud bear Derek Frazier to the podcast. Known as “Big D,” runner-up on the historic 23rd season of “Big Brother,” Derek provides insights into the infamous Cookout Alliance he initiated, ultimately resulting in the show’s first Black winner. He shares intimate details about his weight loss journey, how he struggles to find acceptance in the bear community as a Black man, his plans for Bear Week in Provincetown, MA, his experiences meeting people out at gay bars and on the apps, and how he deals with the online hate that continues to come his way since his time on “Big Brother.” Derek then helps Brian and Judson respond to a Go Ask Your Dad question from a listener who felt envious as a POC in an open relationship with a white man for the attention his ex-boyfriend would get, and wants advice about how to approach the possibility of opening up his next relationship.  Derek Frazier on Instagram: https://instagram.com/thederekfrazier Dads and Daddies on the Web: https://www.dadsanddaddies.com/ Dads and Daddies on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dadsanddaddiespod Dads and Daddies on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dadsanddaddiespod and on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thederekfrazier_ Dads and Daddies on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/dadsanddaddiespod.bsky.social

Brian comes to Judson with many questions after a recent threesome. Judson survives a frustrating hookup day. A Hookup of the Week makes it all the way from Germany. The two then enter into a discussion about love. They share how they each fell in love with their husbands, and what that love feels like now. They compare their love for the different members of their families. They talk about what love looks like within friendships. The love chat continues when this week’s Go Ask Your Dad comes from a listener starting the process of opening his relationship, who disagrees with his partner’s belief that love and sex are intrinsically intertwined. Dads and Daddies on the Web: https://www.dadsanddaddies.com/ Dads and Daddies on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dadsanddaddiespod Dads and Daddies on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dadsanddaddiespod Dads and Daddies on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/dadsanddaddiespod.bsky.social

Judson is self-reflective after a week of anniversaries, experiences the highs and lows of a company-wide work event, and may have met the ultimate hookup partner. Brian also experiences an incredible hookup and reaches his 5th review on TheBlowers. Judson learns a new Daddy trick from this week’s listener-submitted Hookup of the Week. After the break, they resume their friendly fire, and Brian gets emotional, sharing how the principal at his children’s school reacted to a particular component of his Pride plans for all the students. They end with a Go Ask Your Dad question from a listener looking for thoughts about preparing himself for what he believes to be the inevitable end of a 10-year hookup relationship. Dads and Daddies on the Web: https://www.dadsanddaddies.com/ Dads and Daddies on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dadsanddaddiespod Dads and Daddies on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dadsanddaddiespod Dads and Daddies on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/dadsanddaddiespod.bsky.social

Judson recuperates from an intense period at work and enjoys a repeat hookup with a neighbor. Brian bemoans that it has been a frustrating week on the apps. The two debate the virtues of white chocolate and whether or not liking it is at all specific to the queer community. A listener shares a Hookup of the Week story about their first Daddy experience. Judson and Brian then chat all about Pride! They share their favorite Pride memories, reflect on what Pride means to them, how they each celebrate Pride, what’s important to them about the Pride Festival and Parade, and how their experience of Pride has evolved over the years. They end by responding to a listener’s Go Ask Your Dad question, asking how he should tell a hookup he enjoyed that he likely won’t see him again after learning new information. Dads and Daddies on the Web: https://www.dadsanddaddies.com/ Dads and Daddies on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dadsanddaddiespod Dads and Daddies on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dadsanddaddiespod Dads and Daddies on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/dadsanddaddiespod.bsky.social

Judson visits a childhood friend’s new home in upstate New York and exchanges feedback about their lives with one another. Brian hosts an event at his home to get fellow parents in his community thinking about how to talk about sex with their kids. Together, they enjoy a particularly daring Hookup of the Week submitted by a listener. They are then joined by multiple Tony Award-winning Broadway producer of Rent, Hamilton and more--and now the author of the new memoir Theater Kid-- Jeffrey Seller. The three discuss the relatability of Jeffrey’s book, the significance of Jeffrey in Brian’s life, Jeffrey’s influence on making theatre accessible to all, some of the heartbreak he left out of his book, the importance of Hamilton at this particular moment, and Jeffrey’s three most essential qualities of a relationship. Jeffrey also joins Brian and Judson in responding to a Go Ask Your Dad question from a listener concerned about his age becoming an issue as he starts a new chapter as a later-in-life undergrad. Read Theater Kid: A Broadway Memoir by Jeffrey Seller - https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Theater-Kid/Jeffrey-Seller/9781668064184 Find Jeffrey on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/jseller Dads and Daddies on the Web: https://www.dadsanddaddies.com/ Dads and Daddies on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dadsanddaddiespod Dads and Daddies on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dadsanddaddiespod Dads and Daddies on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/dadsanddaddiespod.bsky.social