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Copulators Die First
Copulators Die First
75 episodes
5 days ago
Boo, we give Scream Queens a WHOLE new meaning! Ash and Nick are life-long friends (and homosexuals) obsessed with horror movies and everything creepy/crazy/cool! Every other week they'll feature a new scary movie that will be examined from their gay perspectives while they read that film to filth! Nothing and no one is safe - especially those horny teenagers! On the off weeks, they'll bring you Paranormal Pansies - a rainbow-colored examination of the macabre and paranormal! So - grab some popcorn, lock all your doors, and prepare to be entertained! Love, your big, gay uncles! (tongue pop)
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Film Reviews
TV & Film
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Boo, we give Scream Queens a WHOLE new meaning! Ash and Nick are life-long friends (and homosexuals) obsessed with horror movies and everything creepy/crazy/cool! Every other week they'll feature a new scary movie that will be examined from their gay perspectives while they read that film to filth! Nothing and no one is safe - especially those horny teenagers! On the off weeks, they'll bring you Paranormal Pansies - a rainbow-colored examination of the macabre and paranormal! So - grab some popcorn, lock all your doors, and prepare to be entertained! Love, your big, gay uncles! (tongue pop)
Show more...
Film Reviews
TV & Film
Episodes (20/75)
Copulators Die First
68: PENIS EXPLOSION!? (The Mortuary Collection, 2019)
Nick and Ash are back to discuss not only the political status of America (ahhhh!!!), but a fun little diddy of an anthology movie which includes mystery octopus monsters, awkward spousal murder, red eyed, cremated demon children, and most importantly PENIS EXPLOSION!
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4 years ago
57 minutes 9 seconds

Copulators Die First
67: Zoom Seance (Host, 2020)
We have a little tidbit of horror here for you where Ash and Nick review the first film shot during the COVID Pandemic.
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5 years ago
23 minutes 34 seconds

Copulators Die First
66: Evil Home Owners Association (Spiral, 2019)

Ash and Nick are back! Finally! With Spooky Season already well underway, they catch up and dive into a new episode about a new Shudder Original for your hearing pleasure. (Not sponsored by Shudder, but hit us up BBs!)

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5 years ago
59 minutes 39 seconds

Copulators Die First
65: Just A Bunch Of Massholes (Session 9, 2001)

The boo crew is back and discussing Session 9! Ash & Nick have an impromptu but completely necessary therapy session, they reminisce on life before the pandemic, and they wonder - truly wonder - if Chinese food is any good in the greater Massachusetts area. All this and more on this week's episode of CDF! 

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5 years ago
1 hour 27 minutes 48 seconds

Copulators Die First
64: Space Hellraiser (Event Horizon, 1997)

The Ghouls are back discussing 1997's weird time in space - Event Horizon. It's like Hellraiser, but in space!

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5 years ago
1 hour 13 minutes 27 seconds

Copulators Die First
63: Backyard Bunghole (The Gate, 1987)
Nick and Ash are back with their first film in a long time! Be gentle, they're trying.
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5 years ago
1 hour 9 minutes 41 seconds

Copulators Die First
62: Just Checking In
Hi Pumpkins, We're back with an update episode during these stressful times. No movie, just an important conversation.
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5 years ago
1 hour 11 minutes 48 seconds

Copulators Die First
61: What is Even Reality? (Cabin Fever, 2002)
Nick and Ash have crawled out of their respective holes to take down Eli Roth's Cabin Fever. 
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5 years ago
57 minutes 11 seconds

Copulators Die First
60: The Black Plague
Welcome back to Paranormal Pansies! Is Coronavirus this generation’s Black Plague? Perhaps. Let’s discuss. Nick and Ash get down to the nitty-gritty-icky-sicky science and history of The Black Plague.
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5 years ago
50 minutes 13 seconds

Copulators Die First
59: What Day Is It? (Tourist Trap, 1979)
Ash and Nick take a trip down “vintage highway” and address what they feel is arguably the original “gayest film ever made.”
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5 years ago
1 hour 23 minutes 11 seconds

Copulators Die First
58: Weird NJ
Hey Pumpkins, Sorry for the short hiatus but things have been CRAZY over here at CDF. Big news: Paranormal Pansies is coming over to CDF as a permanent biweekly rainbow-colored paranormal fixture. This week, listen in to the latest Paranormal Pansies topic!
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5 years ago
1 hour 18 seconds

Copulators Die First
57: The Witching Hour (Ft. Bree NicGarran)
In these unprecedented times, we have a very special guest episode for you! This week, we sit down with real-life Witch and all-around lovely human, Bree NicGarran! We tackle two of our favorite witchy films, The Craft (again!) and Practical Magic with tangents galore! We love our favorite Witchy Woman :)
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5 years ago
1 hour 1 minute 26 seconds

Copulators Die First
56: Wendy's For Breakfast (Cabin In The Woods, 2011)
You requested it, and we listened! Nick and Ash take a stab at one of their all time favorite campfests!
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5 years ago
1 hour 35 minutes 34 seconds

Copulators Die First
55: A Real Judy Talk (Dolls, 1987) feat. Caleb from Horror Soup Podcast!
Caleb from Horror Soup Podcast is in the audio lab with us this week discussing his pick, Dolls! We’re talking about Judy and her night of toy terror with some good Judy’s! Judy’s talking Judy!
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5 years ago
1 hour 21 minutes 4 seconds

Copulators Die First
54: Human Pudding (Hellraiser, 1987)
Finally! A movie Ash really, really, REALLY hates! That’s all.
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5 years ago
1 hour 29 minutes 32 seconds

Copulators Die First
53: Death Drop Gorgeous! (Spookies, 1986)
For this VERY special episode of CDF, we hang out with our new best friends - the men behind the upcoming film Death Drop Gorgeous! We discuss their movie, all of the spooky gay things it will deliver (drag queens and death!), and then we all share our favorite things about a movie that was one of their inspirations, Spookies! We’re super excited about this one, pumpkins! And go follow @deathdropgorgeous on all the things!!!
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5 years ago
1 hour 37 minutes 30 seconds

Copulators Die First
What Is This Gay Shit?
OMG, Pumpkins! It’s the first official episode of Paranormal Pansies! Ash takes a dive into the history and inner workings of Ouija boards! Nick is scared of them. Find Paranormal Pansies on Instagram @paranormalpansiespod and on all podcast platforms!
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5 years ago
1 hour 7 minutes 14 seconds

Copulators Die First
52: Ham Good (The Exorcist, 1973)
HAPPY 1st BIRTHDAY TO US, PUMPKINS! That’s right, it’s CDF’s 1 year pod-iversary, and we thought the only way to properly celebrate was to cover the other movie we discussed in our first episode - The Exorcist! It’s one of our all-time favorite spooks, and Ash’s number 1! We do some good old deep-diving, we go off on tangents, there’s a few good Judy talks, and we reflect and reminisce on our first year as podcasters. Welcome to CDF’s Exorcist Extravaganza, everyone! Thanks to all our listeners and supporters for a great year, and here’s to hoping 2020 is even better!
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5 years ago
1 hour 24 minutes 14 seconds

Copulators Die First
CDF 51: I Can Feel All My Pores (New Year’s Evil, 1980)
Happy New Year, Pumpkins! Let’s ring in 2020 with the last CDF episode of the decade! May we be able to leave husbands with no background checks, sub-par police work, harsh blush, and emotionally disturbed children with mommy issues in 2019!
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5 years ago
41 minutes 17 seconds

Copulators Die First
CDF 50: Weird Christmas (Santa's Slay, 2005)
Christmas is here, Pumpkins! Welcome to the first ever Copulators Die First Christmas Episode! Naturally, things aren’t completely merry and bright...
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5 years ago
33 minutes 41 seconds

Copulators Die First
Boo, we give Scream Queens a WHOLE new meaning! Ash and Nick are life-long friends (and homosexuals) obsessed with horror movies and everything creepy/crazy/cool! Every other week they'll feature a new scary movie that will be examined from their gay perspectives while they read that film to filth! Nothing and no one is safe - especially those horny teenagers! On the off weeks, they'll bring you Paranormal Pansies - a rainbow-colored examination of the macabre and paranormal! So - grab some popcorn, lock all your doors, and prepare to be entertained! Love, your big, gay uncles! (tongue pop)