Anger after betrayal can feel overwhelming, confusing, and even “out of character.” In this episode of Conversations on Sex, Addiction, and Relationships, Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck joins Dan Drake, Jeanne Vattoune, Tim Stein and Wendy Conquest to break down the reality of betrayal trauma anger, why it shows up, how it unfolds over time, and what tools can help process it.Whether someone is facing infidelity, broken trust, or betrayal in relationships, this conversation offers clarity, validation, and practical guidance for navigating one of the most difficult emotions in healing.👉 If you’ve ever felt like your anger after betrayal makes you “crazy,” this discussion will remind you: you’re not crazy, you’re angry, and you should be. The key is learning how to process it with compassion and strength.Check out Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck's Protocol :https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xnd6B_SJdpqTcg5zsZF_OLV502MHprmC/view?usp=drive_link and her website: https://crystalhollenbeck.com/Subscribe for more conversations on betrayal trauma, sex addiction recovery, and relationship healing.#BetrayalTrauma #AngerAfterInfidelity #RelationshipHealing #TraumaRecovery #MentalHealth #HealingJourney #CouplesRecovery #InfidelityHealing #Cheating #Rage

When betrayal is discovered, anger can feel overwhelming. In this episode of Conversations on Sex, Addiction, and Relationships, we sit down with Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck to explore how betrayal trauma anger shows up both immediately and over time.Dr. Hollenbeck explains why betrayed partners often experience anger in waves as more consequences and realizations surface, not only at discovery, but months or even years later. This conversation validates the deep emotional impact betrayal has on both sides of the relationship and offers tools for navigating anger without shame.👉 If someone is a betrayed partner, a betrayer, or supporting others through betrayal trauma, this episode will give them clarity, hope, and strategies to move forward.Check out Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck's Protocol :https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xnd6B_SJdpqTcg5zsZF_OLV502MHprmC/view?usp=drive_link and her website: https://crystalhollenbeck.com/#BetrayalTrauma #AngerRecovery #RelationshipHealing #SexAddictionRecovery #EmotionalHealing #TraumaAwareness #HealingTogether #CouplesHealing

In this upcoming episode of Conversations on Sex Addiction and Relationships, the team explores how betrayal trauma extends beyond sexual infidelity with Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck.While sexual betrayal is often the most visible form of hurt, many partners experience deep wounds from emotional betrayal, financial secrecy, or broken trust from friends, family, and community members.Crystal shares insights from her research and introduces the CALMING Model, a seven-phase approach to processing anger and navigating the chaos of betrayal. Wondering why betrayal hurts so deeply? This conversation explains why and offers compassion, clarity, and practical tools for moving forward.👉 What betrayal feels hardest to heal from: emotional, sexual, or financial? Share your thoughts in the comments below.Check out Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck's Protocol :https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xnd6B_SJdpqTcg5zsZF_OLV502MHprmC/view?usp=drive_link and her website: https://crystalhollenbeck.com/

In this episode of Conversations on Sex Addiction and Relationships: Partner Wants to Have Sex and Sex Addict Doesn'tWe explore the painful dynamics of betrayal trauma, intimacy anorexia, avoidance, childhood wounds, entitlement, and fear that often lie at the heart of these behaviors.👉 Whether you are navigating betrayal, supporting someone in recovery, or simply curious about intimacy dynamics, this discussion provides valuable insights into the complexity of sex addiction, emotional avoidance, and relationship repair.Have a question for the team? Email: conversations.sar@gmail.com

In this episode, we explore the complex impact of sex addiction on relationships, focusing on the grief, loss, and emotional struggles faced by betrayed partners. Unlike addictions to substances like alcohol or drugs, sexual betrayal carries unique challenges, affecting both the addict and their partner on deeply personal levels.We discuss:Understanding the addict’s unconscious drives and needsThe partner’s journey through grief, anger, and healingHow empathy and deconstructing behavior can aid recoveryResources like Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA) and sexual anorexia support groupsThe delicate process of navigating emotional and sexual boundaries in a relationshipIf you or someone you know is dealing with betrayal trauma, sex addiction, or sexual anorexia, this discussion offers guidance, resources, and insights to begin the healing process.💬 Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below — your story may help someone else on their healing journey.

In this episode, we dive into a listener question about a sex addict who withholds intimacy while engaging sexually with others. Many partners struggle with betrayal, confusion, and grief when their spouse avoids connection at home but seeks it elsewhere.We explore the concept of intimacy anorexia, why addicts withdraw sexually, and what it might mean for the future of a marriage. Our discussion covers:Recognizing patterns of sexual avoidance and betrayalUnderstanding the emotional impact on the betrayed partnerHow to approach healing and communication in complex relationshipsThe psychology behind why some partners “play married” instead of fully engagingIf you’ve ever felt sexless in your marriage, betrayed, or just confused about your partner’s behavior, this conversation is for you.💡 Take action: If this topic resonates, subscribe for more discussions on marriage, intimacy, and relationship healing. Share your thoughts in the comments—your story may help someone else feel seen.

In this episode, the Conversations team explore why some individuals seek emotional or physical validation outside their intimate relationships. Often, it’s not about sex but about fear, trauma, or unmet emotional needs in the primary relationship. They discuss how past experiences, including childhood trauma and early relationship patterns, can create unconscious behaviors that affect trust and intimacy in adult relationships.Viewers will learn about:How fear and avoidance shape relationship behaviorsThe role of childhood experiences in adult connection patternsEmotional vs. physical fulfillment in relationshipsCommon patterns when relationships become more intimate or face life transitions, like having a first childUnderstanding these patterns can help individuals navigate relationships more consciously, foster deeper connections, and address unresolved fears and trauma.💬 Join the conversation: What patterns have you noticed in relationships around trust and connection?

What happens when a betrayed partner feels invalidated, not only by the one who hurt them, but also by a professional who should be offering support? In this conversation, experts discuss how the way a question is worded can shift the entire meaning, and how outdated therapeutic approaches may unintentionally cause harm.The discussion also highlights the painful reality for betrayed partners who often feel they must advocate for themselves—not just in the relationship, but even with the therapist.Key insights covered in this video:- Why wording and energy behind questions matter in recovery discussions- How betrayal trauma can be dismissed or minimized by outdated advice- The impact of therapists who are not trained in betrayal trauma modalities- Why betrayed partners often feel forced to advocate for themselves- How accountability, empathy, and updated research can change the healing processHealing from betrayal and addiction recovery requires more than surface-level advice. Both individuals deserve accurate support, empathy, and a pathway to rebuilding trust.Watch now to learn how professionals, partners, and those in recovery can work toward healthier, research-backed healing.#BetrayalTrauma #AddictionRecovery #RelationshipHealing #TraumaInformedCare #TherapistTraining #HealingJourney #AccountabilityInRecovery #TraumaHealing

What happens when a betrayed partner is told that their trauma is detrimental to an addict’s recovery?In this discussion, we unpack why this perspective is outdated, harmful, and rooted in misunderstanding.We explore the difference between sobriety and true recovery, how shame resiliency plays a role, and why betrayal trauma responses are valid—not intentional attempts to sabotage healing. Recovery requires accountability, empathy, and facing reality, not avoidance.Key insights in this video:- Why betrayal trauma is not detrimental, but a natural trauma response- The difference between recovery vs. sobriety in addiction healing- How shame resiliency supports accountability and growth- Why outdated therapeutic advice can harm both the addict and the betrayed partner- The importance of seeing trauma responses as unintentional, not blame-worthyHealing is not about avoiding the mirror that a partner holds up—it’s about learning to face it, accept responsibility, and build resilience. Both individuals deserve support and accurate, trauma-informed guidance to move toward real recovery.#BetrayalTrauma #AddictionRecovery #ShameResilience #TraumaHealing #SobrietyVsRecovery #RelationshipHealing #AccountabilityInRecovery #HealingJourney

In this episode, Tabitha Westbrook talks and sexual abuse within the church, childhood and with being married to a sex addict. She weaves neuroscience, embodiment, and story into her work with survivors of betrayal trauma and sexual harm. Tabitha shares why understanding your nervous system, connecting with your body, and reclaiming your voice are essential steps in the healing journey.This episode explores:- How trauma lives in the nervous system- The power of naming your story- Reclaiming pleasure and body connection after betrayalThis conversation is especially powerful for survivors of betrayal trauma, therapists seeking integrative models, and anyone longing to feel safe in their body again.#TraumaHealing #NeuroscienceOfTrauma #BetrayalTrauma #TabithaWestbrook #StoryAndHealing #SomaticTherapy #ReligiousTrauma #ChristianTherapist #WomenHealing #EmbodiedHealing

How do you begin healing from trauma especially when self-hatred feels like second nature?In this honest and hopeful episode, Dan Drake, Tim Stein, Jeannie Vattoune and guest Tabitha Westbrook speak directly to survivors at the beginning of their healing journey. They explore what it means to show kindness to yourself, how deeply harmful theology can distort your self-worth, and how to take small, meaningful steps toward believing you are lovable and valuable, whether you're faith-based or not.Topics include:- How trauma teaches self-abuse—and how to challenge it- The importance of kindness and self-compassion early in recovery- Using affirmations and "opposite action" from DBT to shift how you feel- Why distorted theology can damage identity, and how to reclaim truth- The power of body posture and presence in reinforcing your worth- Encouragement for survivors wrestling with faith, shame, and healingThis is one of the most grounding, relatable episodes for anyone beginning the work of trauma recovery and rebuilding their sense of self.#TraumaHealing #SelfCompassion #TabithaWestbrook #SexualTraumaRecovery #FaithAndHealing #DBT #OppositeAction #ChristianTherapist #ReligiousTrauma #IdentityHealing

How do you start a conversation about sex and trauma in the church—one that feels safe, honest, and healing?   In this powerful episode, therapist and author Tabitha Westbrook shares the surprising origin of her new book on sexuality and healing for survivors of trauma. What started as a single teaching session at a retreat turned into a book that gives language to the experiences many survivors never thought they could say out loud. Tabitha reflects on writing from her own story, the importance of compassion over condemnation, and how she hopes this work opens doors—for faith-based women, pastors, and even those outside the church.   This episode covers: - Why survivors need more than a retreat—they need resources - How her book is giving voice to hidden stories - What makes it safe for women in the church to talk about sexuality -- How the faith-based framework is used (without Bible-thumping) - Why even secular readers can benefit from the book’s insights - Addressing spiritual abuse and harmful messaging head-on - Using neuroscience and embodied practices in healing work   Whether you're a ministry leader, a therapist, or someone on your own healing journey, this conversation offers a compassionate, grounded path to understanding and restoring your sexuality.   #TabithaWestbrook #SexualHealing #ChristianTherapist #TraumaRecovery #FaithAndSexuality #ReligiousTrauma #WomenInTheChurch #HealingJourney #BodySoulHealedAndWhole #Neuroscience

How has purity culture in evangelical Christianity shaped views on lust, sex addiction, and shame and what needs to change?In this powerful conversation with Tabitha Westbrook we unpack how distorted teachings about lust and responsibility create division between men and women in the church. They discuss the deep harm these messages cause, the rising incidence of addictive behaviors, and the urgent need for the church to evolve.Key topics include:- Misconceptions about lust, sin, and personal responsibility- The impact of purity culture on men’s addiction and women’s shame- Signs of hopeful change, including important voices and research challenging the status quo- Why honest conversations about sexuality and trauma are vital for healing- Resources like the Sexual Integrity Leadership Summit for providers and communitiesIf you or someone you love is navigating recovery in a faith context, this episode offers compassionate insights and a call for growth and transformation.#PurityCulture #SexAddiction #EvangelicalChurch #ShameAndHealing #FaithAndRecovery #SexualIntegrity #TraumaHealing #AddictionRecovery

We will be exploring the language around binge/purge cycles, acting in versus acting out, and the idea of switching addictions or the “whack-a-mole” effect. The discussion digs into the difference between sobriety and recovery, why consistency matters, and what partners can look for when trying to determine if change is genuine. Have a question you’d like featured in a future mailbag episode? Send it to conversations.sar@gmail.com If you find this episode helpful, remember to like, subscribe, and share. Doing so helps others discover these conversations and find the support they need. #BingePurgeAddiction #SexAddictionRecovery #BetrayalTrauma #WhackAMoleAddiction #ActingInVsActingOut #DryDrunk #EmotionalRecovery #PartnerSupport #AddictionEducation #TraumaHealing #CompulsiveBehaviors

They haven’t acted out in a while but is it recovery… or just the purge phase?In this episode, Dan Drake Jeanne Vattuone and Tim Stein take on a powerful listener's question about the binge-purge subtype of sex addiction. When someone stops their acting out behavior for long stretches of time, it can look like sobriety but is it actually recovery, or just a temporary pause in the addiction cycle?The discussion explores what binge-purge really means (and how it's different from recovery, sobriety, or even cross-addiction), how to identify signs of “acting in” behaviors like emotional shutdown or passive-aggressiveness, and why some partners still feel unsafe even when no sexual acting out is occurring.They also discuss the “whack-a-mole” pattern of addiction and how to spot deeper patterns of compulsive coping, even when sex is off the table.#BingePurgeAddiction #SexAddictionRecovery #BetrayalTrauma #WhackAMoleAddiction #ActingInVsActingOut #DryDrunk #EmotionalRecovery #PartnerSupport #AddictionEducation #TraumaHealing #CompulsiveBehaviors

How can you tell if someone is truly in recovery or just white-knuckling their way through another cycle of sex addiction?In this deep and practical conversation, Dan Drake, Jeanne Vattuone and Tim Stein explore the difference between sobriety and true recovery. Sobriety is what someone doesn't do. Recovery is what they do. And that distinction makes all the difference.Using analogies like beach balls under water, binge/purge cycles, and emotional suppression, they unpack the red flags that indicate when someone might be suppressing behaviors rather than healing and what it actually looks like when someone is leaning into recovery with vulnerability, honesty, and consistent action.If you're watching someone go through the motions and wondering, “Is this the real thing?” this episode will help you clarify the signs.#AddictionRecovery #BetrayalTrauma #SobrietyVsRecovery #WhiteKnuckling #SexAddictionHelp #RelapsePrevention #RecoveryJourney #TraumaHealing #RelationshipSupport #SpiritualRecovery #12Steps #BoundariesInRecovery

How do you measure trust after betrayal and how much is enough to stay?In this honest and practical conversation, Dan Drake, Tim Stein and Jeanne Vattuone explore the “continuum of trust” and how partners can assess where they are and what they need after betrayal trauma. They break down how both the partner and the addict play a role in rebuilding what’s been lost.This episode is packed with clinical wisdom and tangible steps for those navigating the rocky path of recovery, relapse, and reconnection.#BetrayalTrauma #AddictionRecovery #RelapseAutopsy #TrustAfterBetrayal #CouplesHealing #SexAddictionRecovery #RelationshipRecovery #TraumaHealing #FindingTheWayThrough #RebuildingTrust

What really happens the moment after betrayal shatters your world? In this powerful episode, Rebecca Crews reflects on what life looks like 15 years after D‑Day, the moment everything she thought she knew came crashing down. She shares how her intuition refused to be silenced, the sleepless night that led to truth, and how it felt to have her entire reality suddenly split in two. This is a raw and reflective look at betrayal trauma: the chaos, the unraveling, and the unexpected wisdom that comes from deep betrayal. Rebecca opens up about how her body knew long before her mind caught up and what it means to reclaim your voice after devastation. #BetrayalTrauma #Dday #MarriageRecovery #Infidelity #WomensWisdom #Intuition #HealingJourney #PostTraumaticGrowth #RebeccaCrews #TerryCrews #RelationshipHealing #FaithAfterBetrayal #SexAddiction

What happens when your gut screams at you that something is seriously wrong and you're finally brave enough to listen? In this gripping episode, Rebecca Crews shares the night everything unraveled. It was February 10, 2010, what they now call D‑Day. Her husband, Terry Crews, was on set across the country. One unanswered call turned into a sickening gut feeling, and by morning, a marriage-shattering confession. From prophetic intuition to years of hidden pain, this episode pulls back the curtain on the moment betrayal came to light. Rebecca describes the rage that surfaced, the sudden knowing that something was deeply wrong, and how an ordinary Friday night call became the beginning of a total life transformation. Rebecca walks us through the first chaotic phase of betrayal trauma, offering a powerful lens into the early hours of discovery and the raw emotional aftermath that would shape the next 15 years of their life and marriage. This is not just a story of betrayal, it's a story of awakening, truth, and the first step toward deep healing. #BetrayalDiscovery #BetrayalTrauma #MarriageAfterInfidelity #GutInstinct #PropheticWisdom #TerryCrews #RelationshipHealing #PostTraumaticGrowth #FaithAndMarriage #RebeccaCrews #SexAddiction

What happens when the person you love most becomes a stranger and then dares to change? In this powerful and emotionally raw episode, Rebecca Crews reflects on the unraveling and rebuilding of their decades-long marriage to Terry. She shares the moment she began to believe change was possible not because of words, but because of action: Terry stepping into rehab, risking his image, and choosing vulnerability over pride. For years, Rebecca lived with someone who was angry, withdrawn, and impossible to reach. As the layers of betrayal surfaced, what followed was a painful, unexpected shift. Terry came home as someone new, broken open, tearful, and desperate not to lose his family. If you've ever questioned whether healing is worth the fight, this story will stay with you. #BetrayalRecovery #MarriageAfterAddiction #VulnerabilityInHealing #LongTermMarriage #EmotionalRecovery #TerryCrews #TraumaHealing #PartnerSupport #ForgivenessJourney #MarriageAfterBetrayal #Rebecca Crews #Betrayal Trauma