There is a beautifully simple yet effective filter for our words that I recently discovered in some Buddhist teachings. It is called - Three Gates.

Before you speak let your words pass through 3 gates.

Is it true?

Is it necessary?

Is it kind?

There is so much good in the world, so much beauty and so much that I am grateful for, that I do find myself saying “bloody marvellous” quite a lot! It is a great expression that has a big impact on all who hear it and here is why.......

Trust is an outcome. An outcome of how you behave and how you are perceived. I cannot demand trust. I cannot expect to be trusted. I must earn trust.  I must behave in such a way that the levels of trust between us can build.

Our lives are full of “have to’s” and “got to’s” and “need to’s”.

Let’s face it we are busy people; things to do, places to go, people to see.

What we say and how we say has an impact on our attitude to what we are doing.

“Got to”, “have to”, “must do” “need to” all imply no choice; a compulsion to comply. They bring with them a reluctance and a lack of will.

Creating at a subconscious level, a negativity and a submission to victimhood, and this will play out at a conscious level too.

So, let us change the inner dialogue. Let us challenge that negativity. Let us turn this submissive mindset to a positive, constructive and grateful mindset; after all , we do have a choice.

One of the most profound, but in essence the most simple leadership lessons I ever learnt, came from the wisdom and the lips of a King – King Solomon of Arawarien, deep in the Delta State of Nigeria. The words he spoke have stayed with me and became one of the key premises of all my work and particularly the foundation principle of compassionate leadership.

Frequently I am asked to talk about leadership, and frequently, as I first stand up and introduce the title of my presentation, I begin by challenging it. I say “Let’s take away the word leadership and replace it with the word relationship and see what happens”

The big impact of applying the principles of compassionate leadership is to create what I call “Collective Brilliance”. Individually we can all be great; and we are. We are all extraordinary people in our own way. We all have unique abilities and attributes but together we can be brilliant.

There is much evidence to suggest that sustainability is about balance, and that the three main systems within which we operate need to work together in a specific order. These systems are the Economy, Society and the Ecosystem.

If you are reading this and you are over 35 years old, I may just be about to upset you. Research suggests that you will be spend 95% of your day being driven by your subconscious, following patterns of behaviour that are hard-wired into your more primitive brain areas based on your previous experience - your “back story”

We are defined within four realms, each providing opportunity for growth, that when all are well and balanced gives us a deep sense of self-worth and well-being. We can only truly shine with the conscious development of all four quadrants though some offer greater scope for development than others.

I have mentioned before that a key principle of gaining commitment is to tap into an individual's self-worth through meaning and purpose. A key part of compassionate leadership is in the creation of organisations that are driven and steered by a true meaningful purpose. When we align our individual self-worth to organisational purpose, this becomes the foundation for commitment. I would also argue that this is the foundation for wider well-being too.

I believe that it is all about gaining commitment. It has to be. Who wants to work with a compliant team, a reluctant team? Who wants to work with the mindset of compliance when we have the opportunity to create the excitement of commitment?

It was the great and hugely humble Dalai Lama, the leader of the Tibetan people, that once described the difference between empathy and compassion. And he should know! He says “Empathy is to raise your consciousness of the other. Compassion is to work with that knowledge with positive intent”