Content note: This episode includes frank discussion of sex, pornography, and religious control.
Author Ben Crawford spent decades inside a tight church network where life, money, and meaning were all centralized. When he started sharing his life on YouTube and telling the truth in 12-step rooms, the system pushed back. He lost community, business ties, and friends. He also found something bigger: a voice, a marriage that’s alive, and a way of connecting that doesn’t hide behind ideas. This is a conversation about escaping control, learning vulnerability, and why honesty beats “accountability” every time.
Topics we cover
Why listen
If you’ve felt the gap between what your community promised and what it delivered, or if you’ve tried to change people with ideas and missed the chance to actually bond, this episode gives language and practices for a different way forward.
About Ben
Ben Crawford is the author of the bestselling 2000 Miles Together: The Story of the Largest Family to Hike the Appalachian Trail and has been featured on Good Morning America and NPR’s This American Life. Formerly entrenched in fundamentalist religion and once at the helm of one of the world’s largest blackjack teams (profiled in the documentary Holy Rollers: The True Story of Card Counting Christians), Ben brings a singular perspective to faith, risk, and reinvention. Retired in his 30s, he’s a prolific YouTuber with 1,000+ uploads, and he now finds joy in poker and marathon running—with his six kids often along for the mile markers.
Links
Ben’s book: The Courage to Share (affiliate link)
Ben’s YouTube family channel: https://www.youtube.com/@FightforTogether
Community. It’s a word we throw around a lot, but what does it really mean? And what does it look like specially if you’re no longer part of a church or faith-based group?
In this episode, I talk with Sarah Wildeman, a leadership and relationship dynamics coach, community builder, and founder of Our Common. Sarah has spent years living in intentional communities, leading women’s circles, and guiding people through the art of authentic connection. Drawing from her background in forest ecology, permaculture, and a love for all things rooted in nature, she helps people grow relationships with the same care you’d give a thriving garden—intentionally, patiently, and with deep respect for what each season brings.
We explore:
Sarah’s insights are practical, hopeful, and refreshingly honest about the effort it takes to create and sustain meaningful connection. Whether you’ve left a faith community or are simply hungry for more intentional relationships, this conversation offers both inspiration and tangible ideas for reimagining what community can look like.
Connect with Sarah:
What does it take to unlearn the shame of purity culture and begin to feel safe in your own body again?
In this episode, Josh Harris talks with writer, content creator, and podcast host Jubilee Dawn, a woman passionate about helping others heal out loud. Through her platforms Healed-ish and The Overshare Hour, Jubilee shares survivor stories ranging from domestic violence to religious trauma, with honesty, vulnerability, and humor.
This conversation centers around a deeply personal post Jubilee shared about how her relationship with her husband helped her heal from purity culture. In the interview we walk through it line by line, reflecting on what healing can look like when we’re met with tenderness instead of judgment.
In the original post Jubilee writes:
He comforted me when I had a panic attack the first time we were intimate
As I cried, I kept saying “I am a whore”
He repeated over and over: “You are not a whore”
We talked about our past relationships without shame
He told me it was okay to disappoint others by going on a trip before marriage
He told me God was not mad at me
He helped me explore my sexuality
He told me my ex was wrong about me
(And we went back and got the burger that gave me freedom)
He said these things over and over until… I believed him.
This is a tender, courageous conversation about shame, love, and what’s possible when we begin to write a new story.
Connect with Jubilee Dawn:
- @Jubileedawns on Tiktok, Instagram, & Youtube
In this episode, I talk with psychologist and author Hillary McBride about her powerful book Holy Hurt. We explore what spiritual trauma really is, how it shows up in our bodies and beliefs, and what healing can look like. We also talk openly about my own past as a pastor—how I once taught things that caused harm—and why I believe it’s so important to have these honest, healing conversations now.
Topics We Cover
About Hillary McBride
Dr. Hillary McBride is a therapist, researcher, and author who specializes in trauma, spirituality, and the mind-body connection. Her book Holy Hurt helps readers name and heal from the spiritual wounds many carry but struggle to describe.
Special Event
Josh and Hillary are doing a live event on June 26, 2025 in Abbotsford, BC, called Healing After Spiritual Trauma. Get tickets to this unique conversation and gathering. All proceeds will be donated to Fresh Bread, a charity dedicated to breaking down barriers in access to qualified caring therapists.
About Clear & Loud
Clear & Loud is hosted by Josh Harris—a writer, former pastor, and brand strategist. Through honest conversations and creative coaching, Josh helps people find clarity in the messiness of change. Learn more at clearandloud.com.
Freeman Voyles is a young Catholic writer, podcaster, and creator of Kneutrality, a platform where she blends traditional Catholic beliefs with fresh, sometimes provocative, cultural commentary. With her signature blend of sex appeal, sacred conviction, and aesthetic honesty, Freeman is reimagining what modesty, sensuality, and spirituality can look like, especially for Gen Z.
Conversation highlights:
- Why she named her platform Kneutrality and what it actually means
- Her journey out of MAGA and why she dumped Trump
- How she uses Instagram to challenge both purity culture and performative modesty
- The tension between sensuality and lust, and why she believes there’s a sacred space for one and not the other
- Her vision for a world of “more sensuality, less sex”
About Freeman Voyles:
Freeman is a Catholic writer, podcaster, and creator of Kneutrality — a space for faith, culture, and sexuality rooted in honesty, beauty, and bold devotion. Through content, liturgical journals, and her podcast, she’s helping young adults live boldly for God and think critically about the messages they’ve inherited.
Connect with Freeman:
About Clear & Loud
Clear & Loud is the coaching and creative consultancy of Josh Harris. Through one-on-one coaching and brand strategy work, Josh helps individuals and organizations find clarity in the messiness: clarity of message, purpose, and direction. Whether you’re navigating a major life shift or building a brand that reflects your evolving story, Clear & Loud offers practical tools, thoughtful guidance, and engaging storytelling. Learn more at www.clearandloud.com.
In this episode, Britt Hartley shares her journey from a deeply religious upbringing to becoming an atheist spiritual director, exploring what it means to find purpose, meaning, and inner peace outside of traditional faith. With a background in theology, Britt brings a unique perspective on how to navigate life’s biggest questions without relying on religious frameworks. Together, we dive into her approach to secular spirituality, where she guides others through deconstructing old beliefs and building lives rooted in authenticity and personal values. Join us as we unpack her transformative insights on rethinking spirituality, free from dogma.
Topics Covered:
About Britt Hartley:
Britt Hartley is an atheist spiritual director with a master’s degree in theology and a focus on the future of American religion. She is the author of No Nonsense Spirituality, a bestselling Amazon book that brings a clear, grounded approach to finding meaning and purpose beyond religious belief. Britt’s work centers on secular spirituality and tools for navigating existential crises.
Connect with Britt
About Clear & Loud
Clear & Loud is the coaching and creative consultancy of Josh Harris. Through one-on-one coaching and brand strategy work, Josh helps individuals and organizations find clarity in the messiness—clarity of message, purpose, and direction. Whether you’re navigating a major life shift or building a brand that reflects your evolving story, Clear & Loud offers practical tools, thoughtful guidance, and impactful storytelling. Learn more at www.clearandloud.com.
In this episode of Clear & Loud, we dive into the extraordinary story behind the documentary "Mom & Dad's Nipple Factory" with Emmy-winning filmmaker Justinsuperstar. This isn't just a tale about an unusual family business – it's a powerful love story that spans four decades and touches on faith, identity, and the impact of breast cancer on families and communities.
Interview Highlights:
The genesis of the nipple factory: How Brian's devotion to his wife Randi led to an unexpected innovation
Growing up in a conservative Christian household and Justin's journey of faith
The challenges and revelations of filming deeply personal family moments
How the nipple business transformed family dynamics and sparked important conversations about body image and sexuality
About Justinsuperstar:
Justinsuperstar is an Emmy-winning filmmaker with over two decades of experience creating popular web content. His work has been featured on major television networks and viewed hundreds of millions of times online. With "Mom & Dad's Nipple Factory," Justin beautifully captures his parents' love story while exploring the broader impact of breast cancer on family, community, and society at large.
Watch the Film:
Visit www.nipplefactoryfilm.com for links to Amazon Prime, Apple TV, Fandango at Home, Google Play, and more.
Don't forget to leave a review and share this powerful documentary with others!
In this episode, we dive into the world of reinvention with Lisa McGuire, a reinvention strategist. Lisa shares her journey from corporate life to helping people align their purpose with their paycheck. If you've ever felt stuck in a job that doesn't resonate with who you are, or you're curious about how to align your work with your true self, this conversation is for you. Tune in to explore the challenges of shifting from corporate to entrepreneurship, and learn how to build a fulfilling career that reflects your unique gifts and talents.
Interview Highlights:
Lisa’s journey from the corporate world to becoming a reinvention strategist
The concept of aligning your purpose with your paycheck
Challenges of shifting from corporate life to entrepreneurship
How to discover and align your true self with your work
Bio: Lisa McGuire is a fractional CMO and reinvention strategist who helps individuals and businesses discover their true selves and align their purpose with their paycheck. With a background in corporate and education, Lisa now focuses on helping others build fulfilling careers that reflect their unique gifts and talents. She is passionate about identity, human design, and navigating the challenges of transitioning from corporate to entrepreneurship.
Connect with her at:
Have you ever wondered what makes a TED Talk so captivating? Today, we're diving into the art of crafting unforgettable speeches with Devin D. Marks, also known as "The TED Talk Whisperer." Devin has coached hundreds of speakers, including Harvard's Dr. Robert Waldinger, helping their ideas go viral and reach millions. In this episode, Devin shares his secrets to creating a TED Talk that resonates, the importance of storytelling, and how to stay authentic while delivering powerful messages. Whether you're an entrepreneur, a thought leader, or simply someone with a compelling idea, this conversation will equip you with the tools to connect and compel your audience like never before.
Interview Highlights:
Discover the key differences between a typical TEDx Talk and a viral breakaway talk.
Learn about the "TED tool shed" and the three key tools for a successful TED Talk.
Explore the importance of storytelling and how to connect with your audience on an emotional level.
Understand common mistakes speakers make and how to avoid them for a more impactful presentation.
Guest Bio: Devin D. Marks is the nation’s leading TED-style speaking coach. Known as "The TED Talk Whisperer" by media outlets and clients, Devin has trained hundreds of speakers for TED, TEDx, and TED-style messages—including Harvard’s Dr. Robert Waldinger for his breakout talk, "What Makes a Good Life?" which has garnered over 47 million views. As the founder of CONNECT to COMPEL, a story training and speaker coaching firm, Devin helps clients create spread-worthy ideas that captivate audiences worldwide. He regularly encourages clients to "Let the world LIVE your message!" Connect with Devin at ConnectToCompel.com and on LinkedIn at linkedin.com/in/thetedtalkwhisperer
Discover the secrets behind creating a hit podcast and balancing entrepreneurial success with personal well-being. Join me as I chat with Jacob Bozarth, a podcasting pioneer who has transformed the industry and helped countless creators find their voice.
Jacob has spent over a decade in the industry, helping create and produce some of the most successful podcasts out there, including the hit show Culpable. We dive deep into his journey, exploring how he balances the demands of entrepreneurship with personal well-being and the lessons he's learned along the way.
Whether you're a seasoned podcaster, an aspiring entrepreneur, or someone interested in storytelling and authentic leadership, this episode has something for you. Jacob shares valuable insights on how to start and sustain a successful podcast, the importance of staying true to yourself, and how to avoid burnout in a demanding industry.
Interview Highlights:
Discover the driving force behind the rise of podcasting and why it's become such a powerful medium.
Learn about Jacob's journey from an audio engineer to a podcasting entrepreneur and the key milestones along the way.
Hear practical tips on balancing work and personal life to prevent burnout and maintain well-being.
Gain insights into the future of podcasting and why now is the perfect time to start your own show.
Abouto Jacob Bozarth:
Jacob Bozarth has been a full-time podcast professional for over 10 years, serving as the executive producer of two #1 podcasts and launching two companies in the podcasting space. He graduated from Middle Tennessee State University with a degree in recording and production and stumbled into entrepreneurship by using his production skills to help people with their podcasts as a side project.
In 2014, Jacob founded Resonate Recordings, a podcast production agency that has worked with over 3,500 podcasters, including 16 number-one shows on Apple Podcasts. In 2019, he launched Culpable, a podcast that achieved over 45 million downloads and hit #1 in Apple Podcasts. In 2022, he started Resound, an AI audio tool for podcasters, which automates tedious parts of production for over 13,000 creators. Most recently, he launched Podcast Primer, an online course designed to help aspiring podcasters beat their inner critic and start a podcast without burnout.
Jacob is also a devoted father of three and has been married to his wife, Whitney, for over 14 years. His main goal in life is to work less and spend more time on what matters most, especially his relationships with his family.
Learn More About Jacob’s Work:
Have you ever felt like there's a constant tug-of-war happening inside your mind? A clash of different personalities, desires, and fears? Well, that's exactly what Internal Family Systems (IFS) aims to explore and understand.
In this illuminating episode, we dive deep into the world of IFS with our special guest, April Sunshine Hawkins. Prepare to have your perspectives shifted as we uncover the intricate "family" of parts that make up our psyche.
April, a passionate advocate for personal growth and self-discovery, takes us on a journey through IFS. From its core principles to practical applications, she shares her insights and experiences, helping us understand how this approach can untangle the complexities within.
Whether you're a seasoned seeker or simply curious about the untapped corners of your mind, this conversation is sure to be a revelation. Join us as we explore the fascinating world of Internal Family Systems and gain a deeper understanding of ourselves in the process.
About April:
April Sunshine Hawkins is a multifaceted individual with a passion for connecting people and fostering personal growth. From teaching young minds to guiding adults through dance, marketing, and pickleball, her infectious energy and curiosity have touched many lives.
Currently, April is undergoing training to become an IFS practitioner, driven by a desire to share this transformative approach with others. With her warm presence and deep understanding of the human experience, she's the perfect guide to introduce us to the world of Internal Family Systems.
Work with April:
To find out how you can work with April visit her website where she helps clients curate a unique therapeutic journey.
Website: https://mmm.page/therapytravelagent.main
Instagram: instagram.com/april_sunshine_
In today's landscape, creatives find themselves navigating entrepreneurial waters to thrive, while entrepreneurs increasingly rely on creativity to expand their reach and impact.
Heather Parady holds on to both (though she shares in this interview which way she leans). By day, she's a master of implementation, a Fractional COO who intricately designs systems and operations to propel businesses forward. By night, she transforms into a creative force, whose insightful video content on leadership, creativity, and spirituality captivates audiences across social media.
This episode dives into the heart of a pressing question: Are you a creative or an entrepreneur?
Join us as Heather Parady unravels this intersection. Discover how she merges her operational expertise with her passion for creativity, and how this unique blend fuels her success. We'll explore the essence of being a fractional COO, the thrill of content creation and what it looks like to find a sense of mission post-religion.
Learn More:
Website: www.heatherparady.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heatherparady/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@heatherparady?
Twitter: https://twitter.com/heatherparady
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/heatherparady/
About Clear & Loud
We’re a boutique creative team that specializes in launching websites, products, and big ideas. We craft words that reach people and systems that sustain growth. Schedule a free strategy call to talk about your project: https://clearandloud.com/
In this episode, Josh Harris has a thought-provoking conversation with Stephanie Stalvey, a gifted comic book artist who is using her art to navigate and critique the complexities of purity culture. Stephanie shares the inspiration behind her graphic memoir "PURE," a deeply personal exploration of growing up within and ultimately questioning the evangelical purity movement.
Listeners will dive into:
The unique power of comics as a medium for storytelling and social commentary.
Stephanie’s personal journey from adhering to purity culture to questioning its norms.
The creative process behind translating intimate life experiences into art.
The impact of purity culture on personal identity, relationships, and sexuality.
How "PURE" has become a platform for community, conversation, and healing for those with similar experiences.
Whether you’re fascinated by the intersection of art and activism, curious about the effects of purity culture, or a fan of graphic storytelling, this episode offers insightful perspectives on how personal narratives can challenge societal norms and promote healing. Join us to discover how Stephanie Stalvey is making waves with her comics and sparking important discussions around faith, freedom, and the right to own one’s story.
Learn More:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stephanie.stalvey.artist/
Website: stephaniestalvey.com
Patreon: patreon.com/stephaniestalvey
Join us on "Clear & Loud" as we explore the world of soundproof office pods and genuine side hustles with Scot Sustad, the visionary behind Inbox Booths. Ditch the passive income myths for a reality check on what it takes to succeed in today's gig economy. Discover how Scot's mission to revolutionize workspaces is creating new opportunities for those ready to work hard and make a real difference. This episode is for anyone looking to take on a meaningful challenge and transform their professional landscape.
Apply for the Inbox Unlocked Program: https://get.inboxbooths.com/unlocked/
Visit the Inbox Booths Website: https://inboxbooths.com/
Clear & Loud proudly presents: Daddy Boss Love. This special podcast format features three single dads talking parenting (daddy), business (boss) and relationships (love).
In this episode you'll find:
Meet Your Hosts... Scot Sustad is figuring out solo-parenting and single life after his 17 year marriage ended a couple of years ago. He’s the proud father of two brave little ladies. Scot stands out in a crowd because he’s typically singing 90s ballads and doing handstands. He’s a 5x startup co-founder. Currently, he is the Visionary and President of Inbox Booths. They are helping shape the future of workspaces with soundproof booths that provide the perfect atmosphere for focused work and private conversations. His life’s mission is to build value and fight poverty with people he wants to spend time with. His strategy generally focuses on activating ideas and multiplying leaders. Scot’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/scotsustad/ Scot’s business: https://inboxbooths.com/ TJ Walsh is a dedicated single father of three (15, 13 & 10) and has been divorced for 7 years and is enjoying navigating the dating scene in his 40s. He’s also the founder of Growth Studio, a consulting company specializing in accelerating disruptive startups in the food and beverage industry. With over 15 years of experience in the consumer packaged goods sector, he’s honed his skills to be a catalyst for emerging brands looking to scale and make their mark. When not helping startups thrive, you can find TJ enjoying quality time with my family and friends. He has a deep passion for golf, and is always on the hunt for the next best taco place to satisfy his culinary curiosity. Whether it's nurturing his business, teeing off on the golf course, or savoring delicious food, he’s always on a quest for excellence and growth in every aspect of life. TJ’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tjwalsh3/ TJ’s Business: http://growthstudio.ca/ Josh Harris is a single dad to three amazing grown ass adults. He loves Pickleball, hanging out with his girlfriend Kelly, and spends most of his time send his children the logins for streaming services. He is currently freeloading Disney+ from TJ. Josh’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/harrisjosh/ Josh’s leads: www.clearandloud.com
In this episode, we dive into the transformative world of memoir writing with Janelle Hardy, the innovative mind behind the "Art of Personal Mythmaking" course. This discussion is not just for those who see themselves as writers, but for anyone grappling with their life's narrative and seeking clarity and healing.
Episode Highlights:
This episode is an invitation to discover how articulating your life story can be a path to understanding and growth. Join us as we unravel the power of memoir writing with Janelle Hardy.
About Janelle:
Janelle Hardy is a writer, artist, host of the Memoir Body, Healing Story Podcast and the creator/teacher of a transformational memoir-writing course called The Art of Personal Mythmaking.
This process uses body-based, trauma-informed writing prompts, stories like fairy tale and myth, and themed modules to support people who want to heal from the difficult parts of their life stories as they write their memoirs.
She’s helped young single mothers, organic farmers, cabinetmakers, PhD writers and editors, psychotherapists, professional novelists, podcasters, entrepreneurs, stay-at-home moms, former Members of Parliament, retired teachers, spiritual directors, principals (and more) heal from the difficult parts of their life story as they write the first drafts of their memoirs and reclaim themselves.
Janelle is a born and raised Yukoner and single mother, who has worked as a trauma-informed bodyworker in the hands-on healing arts fields since 2007 and as an artist (writing, painting + dance) for 17+ years. Throughout that time she’s taught adults out of her living room, arts centres, universities and community colleges.
She currently lives and works in both Whitehorse, Yukon and Vancouver, BC, Canada. Whitehorse is on unceded Kwanlin Dün First Nation and Ta’an Kwäch’än Council land. Vancouver is on unceded Coast Salish People’s land (the xʷməθkʷəy̓əm (Musqueam), Səl̓ílwətaʔ (Tsleil-Watuth), and Skwxwú7mesh (Squamish) Nations).
For the past 6+ years she’s integrated all of her expertise, including a BA in Anthropology, an MA in Dance and a Diploma in Structural Integration, into supporting people in their creative healing work via the alchemy of transformational memoir-writing.
Learn More:
She describes herself as “Walmart version Sofia Vergara” which most people would consider an asset, but for Nacya Marreiro, being pretty isn’t always a plus in comedy. In this podcast interview, Nacya talks about the double standard for women in stand-up comedy and the hurdles she’s had to overcome as she strives for stardom in Los Angeles.
Interview Highlights include:
• What the real-life week-to-week hustle of a rising comic looks like
• How the right amount of childhood trauma pushed her to succeed
• How she literally stopped traffic to get Tiffany Haddish in her stand-up show
• How her career in comedy all started with a friend’s dare
About Nacya: Born and raised in the South of Portugal, Nacya first discovered her love for stand-up comedy while traveling around the world as a flight attendant, and hasn't stopped ever since. She has performed her stand-up comedy on stages all around the world, including NYC's The Stand and Grisly Pear Comedy, Austin Texas' Creek and the Cave and Vulcan, and LA's Laugh Factory, Comedy Store, Bourbon Room, and Haha Comedy Club. She's also created her own comedy show, "The Riff," which has attracted high-profile guests like Joe Rogan and TJ Miller, as well as her own comedy cooking show called "Mouth Full."
Learn more:
Website: NacyaMarreiro.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/Nacya_Marreiro
Did evangelicalism fail a generation? How do disillusioned Christians process their experiences in churches and hold on to their faith? How do families divided over Trump find common ground?
In this revealing episode, I sit down with Jon Ward, journalist, author, and chief national correspondent at Yahoo! News, to discuss his latest book, Testimony: Inside the Evangelical Movement that Failed a Generation.
Jon Ward describes his life as being divided in half: two decades inside the evangelical Christian bubble and two decades outside of it.
In Testimony, Ward tells the story of his upbringing in, and eventual break from, an influential evangelical church in the 1980s and 1990s (more about that particular church below). Ward sheds light on the evangelical movement's troubling political and cultural dimensions, tracing the ways in which he believes the Jesus People movement was seduced by materialism and other factors to become politically captive rather than prophetic.
Full disclosure: the church Jon grew up in and which he strongly critiques in his book is the same that I joined at age 22 and went on to pastor for ten years. For me, this is a very personal conversation. Our discussion offers listeners a front-row seat to the intersection of faith, politics, and the challenges of reckoning with one's past.
Interview Highlights:
Jon's perspective on influential figures like CJ Mahaney and Al Mohler and their roles within the evangelical movement.
The ramifications of political trends and the Trump presidency, on personal relationships and faith.
Whether it’s possible to be open to being wrong and still hold to absolute truth
Comparing the roles of church leaders and the media in accountability and the parallels Jon sees between them.
Jon's vision for the future of modern American Christianity and the steps he believes are crucial for its transformation.
Whether you're entrenched in the evangelical community, just curious, or somewhere in between, this episode promises a candid exploration of faith, growth, and the complexities of human experience.
Learn More:
Website: Jonwardwrites.org
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jonwardwrites/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/jonward11
