If you feel like your progress (or your motivation) has stalled, you have options. You can redouble your efforts. You can take an entirely different approach. Or, you might even decide to walk away. In this episode, we’ll talk about figuring out which route serves you best.

Key Takeaways

1. Taking a break can help protect the quality of our work, create space for creative insights, and ensure that we’re using our time and energy in the most meaningful way.
2. The urge to step away can sometimes be a form of avoidance. When something feels hard or tedious, pushing through may be the key to progress. The challenge is knowing when persistence serves us and when it doesn’t.
3. Just because something was valuable or necessary in the past doesn’t mean it still is. We can get stuck in commitments out of habit, sunk costs, or fear of change. It’s important to ask: Would I choose this again today?
4. Unplanned breaks can still serve us. When life forces us to pause, we can reframe it as an opportunity for reflection, skill-building, or re-evaluating our direction. 
5. Clarity comes from asking the right questions. 

1.  What would taking a break or stepping back make possible? Would you use that freed-up time and energy to do something else that is important and meaningful to you?
2. Are there clear benefits to continuing? Are you willing to give those up, or would you regret it?
3. Are you seeing the results you had hoped to see? If not, why not?
4. Might you be better off pursuing the same goal but in a different way?
5. Is this goal still meaningful to you?
6. Am I continuing in this effort because it still makes sense, or because I’m having trouble cutting bait on the time or effort I’ve already invested?
7. Has my objective changed? Is this goal still aligned with my current objective?
8. If I were starting from scratch today, would I still commit to this?

Mentioned

Ep 488 of the What Works podcast with Tara McMullin

The Change Academy will be on hiatus for the next several weeks. We plan to be back later in the Spring with some exciting new content. If you’re not already on our mailing list, sign up here, and we’ll send you a quick announcement when our next episodes are ready! 

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Are you guilty of holding yourself (or others) to impossibly high standards?

In this episode, we're exploring the concept of Ought implies can—the notion that we can only be obligated to do what we’re actually capable of. But how do we know where the limits of ability really are?

Are we being too hard on ourselves (or others)? Or are we making excuses?

Learning how to tell the difference can help you set fair, realistic, and empowering expectations—for yourself and everyone around you.

Key Takeaways

-  Capacity includes more than just your physical ability to do something—cognitive, emotional, and situational factors also shape what’s truly possible.
-  There's an important difference between "I can't" and "I can't yet."
-  Acknowledging barriers or limitations is not an excuse, it's an invitation. 
-  When setting expectations—of yourself or others—check your assumptions. Are you asking for something that’s actually within reach? Or are you expecting the impossible?

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Feeling stuck in the daily grind? Quitting isn’t the only way out. In this episode, Dr. Jessica Grossmeier shares how to find meaning, connection, and even transcendence in the job you have now.

We explore:
  - How small shifts in perspective can reignite purpose and satisfaction
  - The power of workplace connections and why they matter more than you think
  - Simple, science-backed practices to reset, refocus, and thrive at work
  - Why transcendence is a job skill—and how to cultivate it

Whether you love your job, feel stuck, or are considering a change, this episode will challenge you to think differently about work—and yourself.

Key Takeaways

-  Work can be so much more than just tasks and productivity when we bring our best selves and connect to a larger purpose.
-  Instead of leaving a job that feels misaligned, shifting how you approach your work can bring new fulfillment.
-  Meaningful relationships at work enhance well-being, performance, and job satisfaction 
-  Create intentional time for space for mindful movement, deep breathing, or intentional connection with colleagues.

 Mentioned

Reimagining Workplace Well-Being: Fostering a Culture of Purpose, Connection, and Transcendence, by Jessica Grossmeier

Connect with Jessica on LinkedIn

Free resources

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Ever wondered why some changes seem impossible to sustain while others just click?

It’s not magic—it’s science. 

In this episode, we’re talking about a 3-part recipe for behavior change that was first developed 30 years ago and is still making waves today. If you’ve struggled with change or are trying to help others make positive changes, you need to leverage all three of these key factors–in the right proportions. 

Key Takeaways

1.  Information, motivation, and behavioral skills all play important and interlocking roles in fostering positive behavior change. 
2.  Strategies that address all three of these factors are likely to be the most effective. 
3.  By considering the complexity of the behavior, we can tailor our approaches for maximum impact.

Related Episodes

Ep 129: Why it’s so hard to convert good intentions into action

Ep 11: The Attention, Intention, Action Cycle

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Whenever we make plans or set goals, it's important anticipate the inevitable bumps in the road, and be ready to adapt and course-correct.
 

But sometimes, life doesn't just serve up a bump in the road. It delivers an earthquake that shakes us to the core and opens up a chasm into which our entire life--and all of our fancy plans--are thrown.  In an instant, the goals, projects and ambitions that have been driving our thoughts, activities, and even our identities become irrelevant.

Today, psychologist Bethy Campbell joins me to talk about how to handle it when life goes completely off the rails.

Key Takeaways

1. Many of us tend to define ourselves by the goals that we set and accomplish. Consider the possibility that how we deal with life’s catastrophes may be even more revealing of our character and identity. 
2. Even when you’re stuck with something you didn’t choose, you still have the power to choose how you respond to and learn from those experiences.
3. Before we go looking for those silver linings or opportunities, it’s important to allow ourselves to acknowledge our grief and disappointment over what we may have lost. 
4. Even if we are forced to radically recalibrate our goals or our definition of success, setting doable goals gives us something to work toward and celebrate.

Mentioned

Life Directions Consulting with Dr. Bethy Campbell

Wellness Works Here

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These final few days of the year are a great time to reflect on the year that’s past and think about what we’d like to focus on or accomplish in the New Year. And in this episode, I’m sharing a three-part process that might just become your new end-of-year ritual.  Instead of your New year’s Resolutions being a well-intentioned flash in the pan, we’re going to kindle a flame that will burn brightly all year. 

Key Takeaways

- Reflecting on our past successes, however modest, helps build the self-efficacy needed for future change
- Connecting our goals to our values helps us tap into the intrinsic motivations that fuels sustained effort. 
- Link each goal to an identity statement that reflects who you want to become, not just what you want to achieve
- Focus on no more than 2-3 goals at a time to avoid overwhelming yourself and diluting your efforts
- Create "if-then" commitments for how you will handle potential obstacles when they arise

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Wrestling with a tough choice? Trying to weigh the pros and cons but going in circles? In this episode, I've got a systematic approach to decision-making that can bring some welcome clarity to complex choices.

Whether you're standing at a personal or professional crossroads, or debating different solutions to a problem, this framework will help you understand both the rational and emotional elements of your decision-making process--helping you move forward with more clarity and confidence.

Key Takeaways

- Quantifying vague benefits or drawbacks ("more time" vs. "2 hours per week") can help clarify costs and benefits of different options. 
- We sometimes conflate past decisions with current ones, allowing unresolved feelings about previous choices to cloud our present decision-making.
- What feels like indecision may sometimes be unprocessed emotions about what we'll need to let go of - even when we're clear about the right choice.
- Resistance to a logically sound choice often signals important emotional considerations that need attention.

Mentioned
- Decision Scoring Spreadsheet

- Sign up for email notifications

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Struggling with hard-to-quit habits? Whether it's the nightly glass of wine, mindless snacking, or endless social media scrolling, in this episode we're talking about why these habits are so sticky - and more importantly, how to finally change them. 

You'll learn how your brain's reward system actually works (it's not what most people think!) and practical strategies for making lasting changes without giving up pleasure altogether. 

You'll learn specific techniques for navigating cravings, resetting your reward system, and creating new habits that satisfy your brain's needs in more constructive ways. If you're tired of feeling stuck in cycles of pleasure-seeking behaviors, this episode offers a fresh perspective and actionable solutions for lasting change.

Key Takeaways

1. Some habits are simply routines, but some habitual behaviors engage the brain’s reward centers, which makes them harder to break.
2. Dopamine doesn't make us feel good. It motivates us to pursue certain anticipated rewards. 
3. The reward we get from unwholesome habits often gets less potent over time. Recognizing this can be a powerful step toward breaking the cycle.
4. Instead of exhausting your willpower trying to resist these habits, focus on pursuing something else that provides a similar neurochemical reward but without the negative consequences.
5. Changing the context in which a habit occurs can help weaken its hold. The more cues you disrupt, the easier it will be to weaken automatic responses and create new habits

Mentioned

Ep #156: Why we resist positive change

Ep #157: What to do with negative thoughts

Get email notifications when new episodes publish

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Our thoughts powerfully impact our lives—but we don't always pay enough attention to what we're telling ourselves. In this episode, we’ll take a look at four distinct categories of thoughts: those that are both true and helpful, those that might not be proven but serve us well, those that are true but get in our way, and those that are neither true nor helpful.

I even made you a cool decision tree worksheet to help you apply these concepts to your own thoughts and move forward with more clarity and confidence.

Key Takeaways

1. Remember that not all true thoughts are helpful—reframing them can better support your growth.
2. Keep an eye out for absolute statements like "always" or "never;" these are red flags for cognitive distortions.
3. Thoughts that are neither true nor helpful can be safely disregarded.
4. Building your "True and Helpful Thought Library" can help keep you focused on your growth and progress. 

Mentioned in this Episode

Decision Tree Worksheet

Episode #156: How to Overcome Your Resistance to Change

Workbook/Listening Guide: 8 Things You Need to Create Positive Change

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 In this first episode of a three-part series, we are digging in to why we so often resist making positive changes in our lives. Resistance isn't simply stubbornness or laziness; it can be your brain’s way of keeping you safe. The key is to recognize what our resistance is trying to tell us, so that it doesn’t hold us back.   

Key Takeaways:

- Remember that resistance is often a self-protection mechanism, not laziness or stubbornness
- Be alert to the four ways that resistance might show up: emotionally, cognitively, socially, and physically
- Instead of fighting resistance, get curious about what it's trying to protect
- Take the smallest possible step toward desired change to build confidence gradually

Lab Experiment

Step 1: Awareness

The next time you notice yourself pushing back against a change - even a positive one - pause and notice what's happening in four areas:

1. Your emotions: What feelings are coming up? 
2. Your body: Where do you feel the resistance physically? 
3. Your thoughts: What story are you telling yourself? 
4. Your relationships: How might this change affect your connections with others? 

Step 2: Curiosity

When you notice resistance, instead of saying "Why can't I just do this?" try asking "What might I be trying to protect?" 

Step 3: Incremental Action. 

Ask yourself "What's the smallest possible step I could take toward this change?" 

Related Listening

Episode #137: How to do the things you don't want to do

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As the end of the year looms into view, you may feel some regret or disappointment about unmet goals or unrealized ambitions. Add in the chaos of holiday schedules, and it's tempting to shelve all personal objectives until January. 

This episode challenges that mindset, showing you how to turn these final months into a period of meaningful progress. Join me to reassess your goals without self-judgment, adapt your habits for the holiday season, and create a focused approach that will allow you to end the year feeling victorious.

Key Takeaways

- Select 1-2 carefully chosen goals for a year-end focus, instead of trying to salvage everything at once.

- Keep your essential habits strong during holiday disruptions by identifying your true non-negotiables.

- Use regular check-ins to stay connected to your objectives and adjust as needed.

- Small, steady actions create more lasting change than big dramatic gestures.

Mentioned

- Episode #154: The Surprising Secret to Enjoying Weekends and Vacations

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Craving a break from your routines? Discover why that might actually be sabotaging your happiness…as well as your progress.

Molly Watts returns to the Change Academy to help me unravel the counterintuitive link between structure and relaxation. Learn how to craft routines that boost mental and physical well-being, make your time off more enjoyable, and ease the transition back into your normal schedule.

Key Takeaways
- It's important to challenge our assumptions about what "freedom" really means in our lives. True freedom often comes from embracing structure, not abandoning it.
- When it comes to improved mental and physical well-being, the consistency of our routines matters more than optimizing them.
- Building awareness of how routine disruptions affect us can help us make better choices.
- Structure and routine are not the opposite of freedom, but the scaffolding that makes freedom possible. With practice, we can learn to find freedom within structure, leading to greater life satisfaction and achievement of our goals.

Mentioned
- Alcohol Minimalist Podcast with Molly Watts

- Weighless Program for sustainable weight management

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event?  Learn more.

Discover why viewing change as a lifelong journey is not just realistic, but liberating and exciting. Learn how to reframe personal growth as evolution rather than 'fixing' yourself, and explore the powerful concept of change as a form of self-expression. Whether you're working on health, finances, relationships, or any other area of life, this episode will equip you with a new perspective on sustainable personal development.

Key Takeaways: 

1. Develop your 'change muscles': The ability to change is a skill that improves with practice and transfers across different areas of life.
2. Adopt a flexible mindset: Life is dynamic, so our approach to change should be adaptable rather than rigid.
3. Reframe change as evolution: Instead of 'fixing' what's broken, focus on growing into who you want to become.
4. Shift from 'doing' to 'being': Align your actions with your desired identity for more sustainable change.
5. View ongoing change as self-expression: Your growth journey is a unique way of expressing your values and aspirations.

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event?  Learn more.

In a world obsessed with success, embracing failure seems a bit counter-cultural. But if it’s good enough for the some of history’s smartest and most successful figures, there’s probably something the rest of us can learn. In fact, an outsized fear of failure could hold us back from our greatest achievements. 

Whether you're a perfectionist paralyzed by the fear of making mistakes, or a risk-taker looking to fail smarter, let’s rewrite the script on what it means to fail -- and succeed -- in both personal and professional realms.

Key Takeaways:

• Failure is a form of currency that you can use to purchase success.
• A growth mindset allows us to view challenges as opportunities for learning and improvement.
• Practice cognitive flexibility by examining failures from multiple perspectives.
• Approach setbacks with curiosity, analyzing them like a scientist to extract valuable insights.
• Remember that avoiding failure often leads to stagnation; taking risks is essential for growth.

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In this episode, we explore the role of practice in habit formation and how a thoughtful approach can accelerate your progress more than just mindless repetition. We also talk about the mental aspect of practice and how practicing better thoughts can drive better behaviors.

Practice doesn't make perfect; it makes permanent - choose wisely what you reinforce.

Key Takeaways:
- What we repeat, we reinforce.  Be sure you are reinforcing the thoughts and actions that you want to strengthen
- Beware the "streak" trap: While consistency is important, don't let a break in your streak derail your long-term progress
- Quality beats quantity:  Focused, deliberate practice yields better results than mindless repetition.
- Mental practice matters: Your thoughts and self-talk are as crucial to practice as physical actions.

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event?  Learn more.

Dr. Bethy Campbell joins Monica to explore the delicate dance of offering constructive criticism while maintaining positive relationships. Learn practical strategies for delivering feedback that empowers growth, builds trust, and respects autonomy.

Whether you're offering feedback as a manager, colleague, spouse, or friend, this episode provides pro-level strategies that will transform your communication and foster meaningful change in others.

Key Takeaways

1. We earn the right to be able to offer feedback by focusing on the relationship first and establishing connection.
2. Always precede constructive feedback with genuine praise to build trust and boost self-efficacy.
3. Avoid using "but" when transitioning from praise to constructive feedback, as it tends to negate everything that came before.
4. Frame constructive feedback positively by encouraging specific alternative behaviors rather than simply telling someone to stop doing something.
5. When giving feedback, "strike when the iron is cold" to ensure emotions are not running high and both parties are receptive.

Related Listening

Ep #140: Growth Factor: How to ask for (and receive) feedback

Links

Life Directions Consulting with Dr. Bethy Campbell

Meet me in Nashville for the ISCEBS Symposium

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Change is challenging, for all kinds of different reasons. But one thing that can make it more challenging than it actually needs to be is when we insist on going it alone.

Whether you're aiming to improve your health, boost your productivity, or cultivate a new skill, having a solid support strategy can be the difference between frustration and success. 

But getting the people around you to support you in ways that you find supportive can be challenging. Here are some ways to set yourself up for success.

Key Takeaways

1. Be specific when asking for support from friends and family. Don't expect them to read your mind – tell them exactly how they can help. 
2. Remember that unsupportive behavior from others is often more about their own insecurities than about you. 
3. Curate your environment to reflect the person you're becoming. Remove obstacles and add elements that propel you towards your goals.
4. Seek out people who share your goals and motivations and are actively pursuing the kinds of things you want to incorporate in your life.

Work with Me

30 Day Nutrition Upgrade

Weighless Program

Keynotes and Workshops

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Dr. Michelle Segar is an NIH-funded researcher at the University of Michigan. She’s also a best-selling author and health coach. She’s spent close to thirty years studying how to create sustainable changes and healthy behaviors that can survive the complexity and unpredictability of the real world.

In this episode, Monica talks with Dr. Segar about her newest book, The Joy Choice, as well as her 3-step process for staying on track even when life goes off the rails.

Highlights

• Why it is hard to follow through on our best intentions
• How research on ADHD has influenced behavior change
• The concept of Goal Shielding
• How working memory affects our behaviors and how we can leverage it
• Michelle's "POP" 3-step process and why play is such an important aspect of it

Mentioned

The Joy Choice, by Michelle Segar

MichelleSegar.com

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Goals come in different flavors--and they don’t all work same way. By understanding the differences, we can uncover ways in which our goals may be a bit fuzzy, lacking support, in conflict with one another, or even just out of balance. That insight can help us fine-tune our efforts, helping us create lives that are healthier, happier, more productive, and more meaningful!

Key Takeaways:

• Make sure that your emotional and outcome goals are supported by specific behavioral goals.
• There’s an important difference between emotional goals (how we want to feel in our lives) and the desire to simply “feel better right now,” which can often lead us to act in ways that thwart our progress toward our actual goals.
• It can be hard to stay motivated by behavioral goals alone, so try to be clear on what emotional or outcome goals your behavioral goals are in service of. 
• We also want to check our goals for alignment with our other goals and our values and adjust as necessary. 

Lab Experiment:

Make a list of your current goals, objectives and aspirations and sort them into behavioral, emotional, and outcome goals.

• Does one category dominate your list? 
• If most of your goals are behavioral, what sort of outcome or emotional goals will these behaviors lead to?
• Are your emotional goals supported by behavioral goals?
• Are your outcome goals supported by specific behavioral goals? 
• Why do these outcomes matter to you; how do they align with your values and long-term vision?
• What emotional goals might your outcome goals serve? 
• Do you have goals that are in conflict with one another? Can these two goals co-exist?
• If not, how do your values suggest you ought to proceed?
• Do your goals reflect the things you care about most? Do they bring you closer to a life that is aligned with your deepest values? 

Mentioned

Weighless Program for sustainable weight management

Overcoming stress and emotional eating

Happiness Trap by Russ Harris

Ep #146: Sense foraging: How to do an end run around the DMN

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The Default Mode Network, or DMN, is the part of your brain that drives your habitual actions and thoughts. When we feel “stuck” in unwanted behaviors or thought patterns, the DMN is running the show.

You might think that the solution would be to somehow ratchet down DMN activity. Unfortunately, this is almost impossible to do. But it turns out that there’s a surprisingly simple way to do an end run around that pesky DMN, and open up possibilities that have eluded us before.

Key Takeaways

1. Recognize your DMN at work: Next time you find yourself stuck in a negative thought loop or unwanted behavior, pause and acknowledge that this might be your Default Mode Network (DMN) running on autopilot. 
2. Engage your senses to shift your mindset: When stress or old habits threaten to take over, try the "5-4-3" exercise: Observe 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel, and 3 things you can hear. This simple practice can help break the DMN's hold. 
3. Embrace novelty in your routine: Look for small ways to introduce variety into your daily life, like taking a different route to work or trying a new type of exercise. Remember, even minor changes can boost your mood and broaden your perspective. 
4. Practice intentional sense foraging: Set aside time each day to deliberately tune into your sensory experiences. This doesn't require anything special - just pay attention to the sights, sounds, and sensations around you in everyday moments. 
5. Understand how stress affects your perception. When you're feeling overwhelmed, remember that stress can dampen your sensory perception. Try to counteract this by consciously tuning into your environment through your senses. 

Mentioned

Better in Every Sense: How the New Science of Sensation Can Help You Reclaim Your Life, by Norm Farb and Zindel Segal

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