“Kare bo aquato, kare bo oriboro.” (Life unexamined, life unlived) — Jaqua festival chant from the Midsummer Burning “Take out the garbage, or the Jaqua will take you instead!” — Common warning to misbehaving children in Varlata House Jaqua is practically a contradiction in terms. The other Greater Houses use the term for simplicity and in official communication, but the people of Jaqua refer to themselves as the “Jak-wan,” or “Children of the Vine”... *** The Legend of COCKPUNCH™ is the tale of a fantastical realm, a universe of the bizarre from the mind of bestselling author Tim Ferriss. Stories are the gateway drug in this Emergent Long Fiction (ELF) project. Characters, maps, artwork, and more will be released over time at cockpunch.com and tim.blog/cockpunch. For other oddities from the world of Varlata, follow @cockpunch and @tferriss on Twitter.