It's a Boob Tube Boys episode something like 6 months in the making as the guys finally return to finish off the 80s supershow that is Airwolf! 

Van tells Brian and Spencer all about this Airwolf episode where our heroes hike up a rugged mountain with several of their wheelchair bound friends when a mysterious and dirty mountain hobo named "The Cat Man" appears and does exactly what you would think: he murders everyone

What's that? Why yes this show is about a multi-billion dollar helicopter dogfighting with other powerful weaponry. Why do you ask?

Things that are cool as hell: Ernest Borgnine crankin' it, Wings Hauser doing a big, fat, Texan accent, Roy Starkey (the Chamber of Commerce's Man of the Year, 1985), The Admiral, and of course an attack helicopter with all sort of buttons that say things like "sidewinder" and "chaff"

Well guess what folks? This podcast episode features all of those things and all at once! That's because the BTBs are FINALLY covering the 80s espionage show Airwolf! But while all those things are cool in and of themselves, there's one thing you can add to make everything EVEN BETTER. Have you figured out what it is yet? No it's not a monkey shooting a bazooka (but close guess) it's a SECOND attack helicoper fighting the first attack helicopter!

If you need more reasons to listen to this episode then you're a lost cause. So strap in, push the button which causes your helicopter to start the podcast, and get ready to be blown away

The BTBs wrap up their 2024 (but in 2025) Creepy Pasta adventure with three more stories written by the fellas themselves. There's no prompt this week so who knows what these stories could be about?!

First Spencer takes a crack at Brian's mystery thriller Saddled with Suspicion, which features not only the debut of a beloved fake gumshoe from a recently covered Boob Tube Boys episod,e but also the return of one of the show's greatest villains (Kevin Sorbo). Will they solve the theft of Big Moses the horse? Only God above knows...

Van then orates Spencer's heart-pounding horror story The Ricotta Room, a stirring addition to the Pete Lightning: Boy Architect universe. But before we find out about all sorts of architect stuff Spencer turns the tables on Van in a twist no one saw coming

Finally Brian finishes up the year's stories by romping through yet another tale in the Death Race series with Van's Death Race 3000. Can our heroic Sean Penn impersonator win the race to save humanity? What is God Jr's deal? Will the bit about bringing his most prized posession come up again or did Van just forget that plot point? Listen to the show and find out, dummy!

Sure Halloween has come and gone but that doesn't mean January isn't also a frightening time of year! So in honor of the terror of a brand new year the BTBs have once again written their own Creepy Pasta stories and will be reading them to one another. And on this episode there's a writing prompt so all three stories share a theme! That theme? Doppelgängers

First up, Van reads A Familiar Face, which was written by Brian and features the boys themselves trying to solve the myster of just why Van keeps talking about really horrible things. Next Spencer reads Van's tale The Battle of Felucia, which is about soldiers in a war but may contain certain secrets...

And our final story features Brian reading Crash Brothers: A Creepy Pasta by Spencer Hendricks, which was written by Spencer, go figure. This is a tale of high school basketball team and the struggles of a young boy with a stupid name

As always these things were a lot of fun to write and perform and we hope you check them out!

The gentlemen of the Bootu Inc. establishment would like to cordially invite you to their summer home for a candid viewing of the 1996 ocean rescue-themed television programme Baywatch. Wine and hors d'Oeuvres shall be served alongside a complimentary platter of the finest cheeses known to the region

Delight as you witness this beach-themed take on the classic tale of good versus evil. Thrill as one muscle bound champion from the farthest reaches of the WCW pantheon duels against his eccentric challenger, who is oh so skilled in the ways of the nafarious. And do your best to retain your composure as the whimsy of a cancerous B-plot festers before your very eyes

Kindly send back this répondez s'il vous plaît and our good man Sergio shall log a place for you at the event (or just listen to the podcast... it's great!)

The Boob Tube Boys already covered Columbo over 160 episodes ago... BUT THERE'S JUST ONE MORE THING! (Ooh that's the thing Columbo says!!!)

That one thing is that the BTBs want to cover Columbo again. That's all. So they do

In this one our heroic detective has to figure out how a short, horny little man with a silver tongue killed his writing partner. The duo of course are the creators of the hit series of mystery novels featuring Mrs. Melville, and clearly there is strife between them. You can bet the boys make jokes about Columbo being a little garbage gremlin, but what you didn't know would happen in this podcast episode is... (Ahh! I was killed by a villain! You'll have to listen to find out! Ahh!)

Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas! May everyone be devoid of osteoarthritis!

The BTBs have a bit of an abbreviated holiday schedule this year but they knew if there's one thing all BTB-heads out there needed, it's more David Boreanaz and more Bones. So Van takes the helm and leads everyone through the bone-dust infected halls of the Jeffersonian institute once again

This time around most of the cast is trapped in quarantine thanks to an eggnog related incident. This causes Booth to miss Christmas with his dumb little boy son, Parker, and as long time Bones fans might know, that's a big deal to the block shaped man. But while stuck in the institute the crew have a murder to solve! Sure it's from over 50 years ago, but maybe, just maybe everyone will learn to love each other in the end

Don't forget to check out our new friends at the Oh Crap! Our Fecal Misfortunes and Foibles podcast on Spotify!

https://open.spotify.com/show/1WChL23RFp0PtSOm2qsPBJ?si=5c64ede598084fba

Bright lights, big stars, and big dreams all lie ahead dear listeners, and all because Brian, Van, and Spencer are taking a trip back to the very beginning of Boob Tube Boys history and discussing another episode of California Dreams!

This time around the band recieves a bunch of fortune cookies from Sam's Uncle Tse-Tse, and for a few of them it doesn't turn out well. I mean it's nothing horrible, like no one dies in this episode or has an abortion or anything, but it's pretty uncomfortable for Tony, at least. However the racism-laden B-plot pales in comparison to the glorious A-plot which sees Jake running into his lifelong idol: rock superstar Zane Walker

The band auditions for Walker who immediately wants to show them to his producer/manager who says a bunch of stuff that's clearly intended to be about the Chuck Berry song Roll Over Beethoven and there's simply no other way to interpret that dialogue. But is Zane really looking out for the California Dreams' best interests? You'll have to listen in to find out...

Think of the tallest person you know. No, no. Taller than that. OK are you thinking of Emmy Award wiining actor and activist James Cromwell? You know, the farmer from Babe (and presumably Babe: Pig in the City)? No it's someone else you say? Well then perhaps I could interest you in this extremely bizarre episode of the bounty hunter show Renegade?!

You see Cromwell decided that he was no longer content to be known as the star of Babe, he also wanted to stretch his acting legs and take on other, more sinister roles. But why get bogged down by the pressures of plying your craft in a prestige drama when you can instead head over to syndicated 90s TV and not only chew up the scenery but also set the stage on fire? Look you just need to listen to this episode. If you weren't already sold how about this tidbit: Lorenzo Lamas directed it. Wait, no come back!

The Boob Tube Boys' favorite little bulldozer (and Hall of Famer!) Kathy Anderson is back and on the feed for the FOURTH time as the fellas once again head back to a time of wealth, prosperity, and peak American life (provided you fit into the very small niche of white people that the country was built for). It truly is a wonderful place to be!

This time around Kathy has acquired a magic set including a cool hat, magic wand, and "magic dust" among other questionable objects which she uses to wreak havoc upon her family. First she tries to turn her mother into a prey animal, then she has a paperboy hit her sister Betty in the head before finally settling on destroying her brother Bud utterly. Also she waves a breaded pork chop at a cat/bird... it'll make more sense when you listen to the show, which you better do or else Kathy's wand might find itself trained upon YOU

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity" - Albert Einstein 

It's time for the Boob Tube Boys to talk about another Knight Rider episode where two cars fight each other. It's the same cars as the last time: one of them's a boring dork, the other one whoops ass

Last week when we first checked out SeaQuest DSV we learned about a man named The Regulator who had an ape friend named Verne (whom The Regulator tried to surgically install gills onto) and sold parts on the ocean’s black market. He tried to steal a dolphin so that the mammal could solve the theory of spherical evolution for him

Now if you just read that you probably figured there was no way this show could get weirder. Well it turns out you're wrong. DEAD WRONG. And that's because of today's episode of SeaQuest, season one's Hide and Seek, which among other weird things includes William Shatner playing a Saddam Hussein-esque dictator who believes the same dolphin The Regulator tried to steal can heal his son, who may or may not have autism. And by the way, he ends up being right about that last thing

Anyway this thing is insane. I suggest you all listen in if for no other reason than for William Shatner talk about weaponized war dolphins

It's the faraway year of 2018 and man has colonized every place on Earth... except for the sea! This means the BTBs head into the damp, deep, fish home that is the Ocean where they encounter the crew of the legendary Deep Sea Vehicle the Seaquest. But as Captian Nathan Bridger discovers not all is well on the massive submarine as everyone's old enemy bureaucracy has raised its ugly head causing a backlog on a very important control chip

The crew turns to less savory ways of procuring the piece and suddenly the SeaQuest and her  resident talking dolphin (yes, you read that right) are in danger!

Van takes Brian and Spencer on this journey through a show that the latter two didn't really know existed outside of Van's personal memories of it. And they watch as the coolest guy of 'the future' kind of turns out to be a moron. But eventually we'll all return to the circle in the end (it's from the show, just listen in, okay?)!

With a return to the rich and powerful west where tech reigns supreme the Boob Tube Boys flash forward one year from last week’s episode to check in with the guys at Pied Piper and it’s going fine, right? Wrong. It turns out the nefarious Gavin Belson, billionaire owner of Hooli and Zuckerberg/Musk stand-in has decided despite having an inferior product to our heroes he's going to destroy them with his infinite resources and wealth. Pied Piper's only hope lies with Lloyd Braun from Seinfeld, and the BTBs watch and discuss with bated breath

Computers! Typing! The World Wide Web! Pork Futures!

The Boob Tube Boys are dialing it up to 11 as they down some Red Bulls and take some poppers all to make it big in the shark infested waters that is the tech industry. Err, well... the guys are doing the thing that'll get them as close to Big Tech as they'll ever get as they cover Silicon Valley! Numbers and data!

The fellas watch the season 1 finale of the hit Mike Judge show and react to probably the most famous moment the program provided to the world- a bunch of jerk-off jokes. But can Pied Piper save itself in the eleventh hour? Also which character from the show is Brian most like? Listen in to find out!

The Tubers hop back into Taxi once more to round out their coverage of one of network TV's saddest and dirtiest sitcoms. This week, Alex and Louie engage in a cab battle for the ages, one that threatens to shred the fabric of life itself (for Elaine, at least)

Brian quizzes Spencer and Van about their knowledge of taxi-based entertainments in between bouts of admiring Danny DeVito. Van provides some less-than-thrilling examples of comedian Jan Murray's work. Spencer brings the BTBs much closer to the present day with his new show pick. It's an episode so good you might not even notice if your cab driver circles your destination twice while you're listening!

With the Motion Picture Men safely locked away in their gross movie cellar for another year, the Boob Tube Boys return to talk about the classic '70s sitcom Taxi, a show stuffed with comedy legends playing lovable losers

While Taxi was a staple of Brian's childhood viewing diet, Spencer and Van were unfamiliar until this very week. The trio talk about the show's historic fingerprint, the allure of grimy old New York, and the episode that cemented Christopher Lloyd as a cast member. Hail a cab and tell the driver your destination is Boob Tube Boys! They'll figure out what you mean eventually

The Motion Picture Men return for the final half of Neil Breen's masterpiece hit Fateful Findings, and one might say it's fate that you're here listening right now...

At the end of Part 1 we found out that Dylan, the magical grandma-man played by Breen, is not at all writing his second hit novel and is instead working on stealing secret government and corporate secrets. Unfortunatly for him it seems like everyone in his life is currently having personal problems. There's Amy and Jim, his best friends who are busy hating each other in a loveless marriage, and also his girlfriend Emily who has developed a terrible pill addiction!

In theory it's up to Dylan to solve all these issues, but what actually happens is he ignores them and everyone suffers because of it. But don't worry, here's his old love interest! Just in time to replace his dead girlfriend! Seriously, listen to this episode because this movie is WILD

The Motion Picture Men wrap up their 2024 with a look at Neil Breen's Fateful Findings, the movie that boldly takes a stand against secret government and corporate secrets

Van's choice for MPM film is one of the darlings of the "so bad it's good" B-movie industry and it starts off with a literal bang as Dylan (played by Breen himself) is mowed down by a Rolls Royce in the middle of a crosswalk. But mystical powers that aren't ever actually explained allow Dylan to heal almost immediately and he winds up doing the deed while covered in bloody bandages in the shower. Let's just say there's a lot to unpack here, and you'd better put on some gloves before doing so

Raise your hand if you're a tough guy. Ok... good, good. Now everyone who didn't raise thier hand, please leave the podcast (we're kidding, please don't ever leave us) because today we're wrapping up coverage of the delicious wad of 1980s cheese that is Miami Connection!

When we last left off there was a vague conflict between band and group of ninjas (you know, that old chestnut), and today there's going to be even more vague conflict between band and ninjas. Things come to a head when Jeff, the bearded bad guy, finally has enough of Dragon Sound's antics and demands the group of college-going orphan musicians meet his gang in the old abandoned railroad yard to settle this once and for all...