Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy
Emily & Johnny Spigelmire | Christian Marriage Recovery Coaches
130 episodes
1 week ago
***Top 1.5% Global Podcast***
Dear Betrayed,
Are you in shock? Confused, devastated, hurt, angry and feeling like you are not enough? Do you feel like it must be your fault, like you should have somehow seen the signs? Are you grieving the death of the marriage you thought you had?
Dear Betrayer,
Have you been believing the lie that if people knew what was really in your heart and mind, they would turn their back on you? Have you been convinced that your wife and family would leave you and you would lose everything if/when you came clean?
Beloved, do you both feel like your marriage is over?
Well, you’re right. That marriage full of secrets and lies IS over. But now there is hope for an honest and transparent marriage - one full of trust, safety, connection, forgiveness, acceptance, and intimacy that you’ve never known before. Bold statement, right? You may be thinking, “No way!” That’s okay. We understand…
Hi, we are Johnny and Emily Spigelmire and we have been where you are...
As a result of adultery fueled by pornography, the marriage vows we had exchanged as starry-eyed newlyweds and had worked so hard to keep were eventually shattered. We’ve been through hell and back. But we are here, together, to let you know that this devastation we experienced was actually a gift.
Of course, we didn’t see it that way at first and you probably don’t either. But, through a commitment to recovery, our faith in God, and our hope for redemption, we set out on a journey of healing, and we can’t wait to share what we’ve learned with you. We now have a marriage that continually blows our minds, and we give God all the glory!
So, if you’re ready to move from heartbreak and pain to hope and healing, grab your favorite beverage, get comfy, and join us on a journey of faith as we talk through difficult questions like;
Is there hope for our marriage?
Can I fix all the damage I’ve done?
Can I ever trust again?
Is true intimacy even possible?
We will also do deep dives into the topics of:
* Isolation
* Guilt and Shame
* Anger
* Rejection
* Addiction
* Trauma
* Body Image
* Triggers
* Communication
* And more…
Our story, like yours, is a messy one. But, with God’s help, it is possible to recover what was lost, stolen, or given away. We know this because God has turned the ashes of our lives into something beautiful and we believe he can do that for you too.
You can connect with us at:
support@beyondbrokenvows.com
https://insider.beyondbrokenvows.com/
https://coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com/
We would love to be part of your journey to healing and wholeness!
All content for Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy is the property of Emily & Johnny Spigelmire | Christian Marriage Recovery Coaches and is served directly from their servers
with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.
***Top 1.5% Global Podcast***
Dear Betrayed,
Are you in shock? Confused, devastated, hurt, angry and feeling like you are not enough? Do you feel like it must be your fault, like you should have somehow seen the signs? Are you grieving the death of the marriage you thought you had?
Dear Betrayer,
Have you been believing the lie that if people knew what was really in your heart and mind, they would turn their back on you? Have you been convinced that your wife and family would leave you and you would lose everything if/when you came clean?
Beloved, do you both feel like your marriage is over?
Well, you’re right. That marriage full of secrets and lies IS over. But now there is hope for an honest and transparent marriage - one full of trust, safety, connection, forgiveness, acceptance, and intimacy that you’ve never known before. Bold statement, right? You may be thinking, “No way!” That’s okay. We understand…
Hi, we are Johnny and Emily Spigelmire and we have been where you are...
As a result of adultery fueled by pornography, the marriage vows we had exchanged as starry-eyed newlyweds and had worked so hard to keep were eventually shattered. We’ve been through hell and back. But we are here, together, to let you know that this devastation we experienced was actually a gift.
Of course, we didn’t see it that way at first and you probably don’t either. But, through a commitment to recovery, our faith in God, and our hope for redemption, we set out on a journey of healing, and we can’t wait to share what we’ve learned with you. We now have a marriage that continually blows our minds, and we give God all the glory!
So, if you’re ready to move from heartbreak and pain to hope and healing, grab your favorite beverage, get comfy, and join us on a journey of faith as we talk through difficult questions like;
Is there hope for our marriage?
Can I fix all the damage I’ve done?
Can I ever trust again?
Is true intimacy even possible?
We will also do deep dives into the topics of:
* Isolation
* Guilt and Shame
* Anger
* Rejection
* Addiction
* Trauma
* Body Image
* Triggers
* Communication
* And more…
Our story, like yours, is a messy one. But, with God’s help, it is possible to recover what was lost, stolen, or given away. We know this because God has turned the ashes of our lives into something beautiful and we believe he can do that for you too.
You can connect with us at:
support@beyondbrokenvows.com
https://insider.beyondbrokenvows.com/
https://coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com/
We would love to be part of your journey to healing and wholeness!
Sexual betrayal destroys all trust in a marriage. When the lies and double life of an unfaithful husband (or wife) come to light, the betrayed spouse has no solid ground to stand on. What was real is instantly shattered and nothing is clear anymore.
It can leave an unfaithful spouse struggling for a way to regain the trust that was selfishly tossed aside. Trust is earned - not expected just by virtue of staying married.
But when trust is lost, trustworthiness displayed daily will not only help to restore personal integrity, but it can also pave the way for a betrayed spouse to consider trusting again.
Last week, we did a deep dive into the first three of twelve markers of a trustworthy husband; he is transparent, vulnerable, and rigorously honest, has no secrets from his wife, and initiates difficult conversations. There was a lot packed into that episode so if you missed it we encourage you to go back and listen to episode 128.
Today we are going to unpack the next three markers of a trustworthy husband:
A trustworthy husband listens to understand.
A trustworthy husband apologizes to help his wife heal.
A trustworthy husband prioritizes his wife above all other people.
Grab a pumpkin spiced something and tuck in for a revealing look into our recovery process as we discovered how a track record of trustworthiness helped ear back trust in our marriage.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 10. When “I’m Sorry” Isn’t Enough: 8 Steps to a Healing Apology
Episode 52. What Is His Response To Her BIG Emotions After Porn-Fueled Infidelity?
Episode 66. 5 Things a Betrayed Wife Needs...(Series) #2 Prioritize Her
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
When trust has been shattered after marital infidelity is revealed through either discovery or confession, what hope does a repentant husband have for regaining his wife’s trust? Will she ever be able to trust him again?
These are common questions many couples ask as they sift through the rubble of what was once considered to be a happy, loving, and committed marriage.
Fortunately, there is an answer to this difficult question because when unfaithful husbands destroy trust in their marriage, there is a hope of restoring this broken part of the relationship by showing up daily as "trustworthy".
On last week’s episode, we introduced the 12 markers for becoming a trustworthy husband.
On today's show we will dive deeper into the first three markers of a trustworthy husband.
A trustworthy husband is transparent, vulnerable, and rigorously honest.
A trustworthy husband has no secrets from his wife.
A trustworthy husband initiates difficult conversations.
Join us for a candid conversation about our experience with broken trust and trustworthiness displayed after infidelity was discovered in our marriage.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 92. Dying to Self: Transformational Moments in Recovery from Sexual Betrayal
Episode 111. 111 | Need a Full Therapeutic Disclosure After Infidelity? (Part 1)
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
When infidelity shatters the reality of a perceived happy marriage and reveals a foundation crumbling under the weight of lies and deception, one of the most difficult losses is the trust that was instinctively given when exchanging vows to love, honor, and cherish one another.
This loss of trust can be more painful than betrayal itself. It can leave a wife on unsteady ground with little hope that any trust for her husband can be regained.
In today’s show, we’ll discuss what the loss of trust feels like from a betrayed wife's perspective and also explore the hope an unfaithful husband has for re-gaining the precious trust that was once so lovingly shared at the beginning of their journey together.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 64. 5 Things a Betrayed Wife Needs From Her Recovering Husband (Series)
Episode 65. 5 Things a Betrayed Wife Needs...(Series) #1 See Her Pain
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Have you ever thought about how the toughest barriers holding you back might not be out there in the world, but instead created in the hidden corners of your own mind?
For the man battling sex addiction, the compulsive behavior is often just the symptom of a deeper problem: a faulty belief system built on a foundation of shame, self-loathing, and the unshakable conviction that you are, at your core, unforgivable. This is the silent war that can rage long after the acting out stops.
In this episode, we’re going to take a deeper look at the mental traps—the negative I Am statement we tell ourselves and the isolating shame—that keep you trapped in a cycle of self-punishment.
We’ll talk about how this internal battle doesn’t just sabotage your inner peace, but systematically undermines your marriage and every good thing in your life.
Join us as Johnny opens up about his personal journey, sharing how he began to forgive himself and embrace the powerful truth that he is truly forgiven—by God, by Emily, and himself.
This conversation promises to be enlightening and supportive as we explore the path to healing together!
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 11. Freedom and Healing: 4 Keys to Unlocking Forgiveness After Sexual Betrayal
Episode 35. Recovery Step 6: Ready to Move on From Sexual Integrity Issues? 4 Questions to Help you Decide
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Navigating the aftermath of a husband’s sexual betrayal is a complex and deeply painful journey for a wife.
While a natural desire to support his recovery may exist, it often clashes with powerful, protective emotions born from the trauma itself.
The act of showing compassion can feel fraught with risk, not as a sign of a lack of love, but as a defense mechanism against further pain and a means of preserving her own fractured sense of safety and self-worth.
This hesitation is not a character flaw but a rational response to profound injury. The wife’s fears are typically rooted in a need to validate her own experience, guard her heart from additional harm, and ensure that her husband’s path to recovery is built on genuine accountability rather than easy forgiveness.
Understanding these fears is a crucial step in healing for both spouses. Join us as Emily tells the story of her journey from a lack of compassion to showing compassion to Johnny after his sexual betrayal in our marriage.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 72. Praising God While in the Storm of Sexual Betrayal and Porn-Fueled Infidelity
Episode 114. "I Know the Plans I Have for You" After Sexual Betrayal Shatters Your Marriage
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
When you hear the word “honesty,” what comes to mind? Is it a simple binary—you either tell the truth or you don’t?
Or do you see it on a sliding scale, where a “little white lie” is a 2 and a deliberate, premeditated deception is a 10?
If your marriage has been shattered by porn-fueled infidelity, you know the brutal truth: the lies and deception surrounding the acting out are often more destructive to trust than the acts themselves.
In this powerful second part of our conversation, We recap the five ways we lie from last week—commission, omission, deflection, justifying, and gaslighting—and dive deep into how embracing rigorous honesty can pave the way for trust and healing.
Join us as we unpack what this kind of honesty looks like, how to attain it, and how it impacted our recovery process.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 109. Healing Through Honesty: A View Into a Marriage Transformed by Truth (with Sathiya Sam)
Episode 123. The One Thing Worse Than Infidelity in Marriage
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
In marriages wounded by sexual betrayal, the deepest injury isn't the act itself, but the web of lies that concealed it.
It’s a staggering reality that the concept of honesty is not as straightforward as many would like to believe.
Lies can come in various forms, from outright falsehoods to subtle omissions and misleading statements, all of which can have profound effects on trust in relationships.
What is the key to complete honesty, and how can we foster openness and transparency in our relationships?We are celebrating our 38th anniversary over the next week so we are sharing with you one of our most listened to podcast episodes.
The topic is LYING.
We will discuss five different ways we lie, specifically relating to broken covenant in marriage through porn-fueled infidelity.
You will hear some intimate details from our painful journey to freedom and healing as we navigated the deception uncovered in our marriage.
Our victorious story serves as a testament to the fact that breaking the cycle of dishonesty is not only possible but essential for building a solid foundation for safety and trust leading to true intimacy.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 07. 5 Ways We Lie and the Secret to Complete Honesty (part 1)
Episode 08. 5 Ways We Lie and the Secret to Complete Honesty (part 2)
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
What comes to mind when someone brings up 12-Step recovery?
Maybe you think of Alcoholics Anonymous?
Or perhaps group meetings?
Do you also wonder if 12-Step programs are only for those who don’t see Jesus as Savior and Lord of all?
Should followers of Christ consider participating, even if Jesus isn't the central focus?
There are certainly some common misconceptions about where the original twelve steps come from and how they are meant to be used.
Today, we’ll look at a few of the most prevalent misunderstandings surrounding this simple yet effective program for addiction recovery and discover if these twelve steps are a clear path to God.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 25.Persistent Sexual Integrity Issues in Marriage. Do Recovery Programs Really Work?
Episode 49. Sobriety vs. Recovery After Porn-Fueled Infidelity
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Today we wrap up our series, I Need You Where I AM. In the first episode of our series, we focused on a statement that many betrayed wives relate to, "My Husband Just Doesn’t 'Get It'.”
And what is the “it” he’s not getting? Not understanding the magnitude of what his actions through infidelity have done to her.
In the second episode in our series, we covered some of the ways betrayed wives are affected by their husband’s infidelity. Not the least of which is grief. But in an everyday way, it can look like experiencing new health issues, being triggered by movies, TV shows, music, and even reading the Bible.
Today we are giving husbands hope for addressing his wife’s needs in a practical way. To help Johnny see past himself to how Emily was being affected by his sexual betrayal, he created a process to handle her big emotions based on an internal statement, My wife feels this way because…
Join us for the rest of the statement plus 4 important things it does to help both spouses heal.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 119. I Need You Where I Am: Why Unfaithful Husbands Just Don’t Get It (Series 1 of 3)
Episode 120. I Need You Where I Am: Infidelity's Surprising Effects for Her (Series 2 of 3)
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Today in the second installment of our series, I Need You Where I Am, we turn the spotlight fully onto the wreckage inside a wife’s body and soul after sexual betrayal.
The physical, emotional, and spiritual effects of betrayal trauma are real and profound. A wife experiencing these effects may think she is going crazy. She is not. It just feels that way.
As we talked about last week, a husband who “gets it” understands the magnitude of the effects of his betrayal on his wife. This man can show compassion and empathy by looking past his own situation to see his wife’s pain.
In this episode, we will share our experience with the effects of betrayal trauma as well as hope for the future where the trauma is healed and life becomes new.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 22. How Long Will This Hurt? Experiencing The 5 Stages of Grief Through the Lens of Sexual Betrayal
Episode 119. I Need You Where I Am: Why Unfaithful Husbands Just Don’t Get It (Series 1 of 3)
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Today we want to speak to both spouses who are bravely navigating the deep and challenging waters following a discovery and disclosure of sexual betrayal.
We understand that this emotional journey can feel overwhelming and may be difficult to sort out on your own.
Today we’re excited to present a relatable word-picture that aims to make the experience of a husband’s infidelity a little easier to understand for both partners.
This episode marks the beginning of a 3-part series designed specifically for betrayed wives, focusing on what they wish their unfaithful husbands could grasp after their world has been shattered by the revelation of infidelity.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 52. What Is His Response To Her BIG Emotions After Porn-Fueled Infidelity?
Episode 64. 64 | 5 Things a Betrayed Wife Needs From Her Recovering Husband (Series)
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Recovery work is hard! It is not something that either spouse ever wanted and sometimes it can feel like it takes over everything else in life. Is it okay to take breaks from the difficult conversations and the grieving process?
Yes! We all need to take a break from the struggle occasionally and recharge so we can get back in and do the next right thing.
We have a shorter show today, but lots of encouragement! Please take a moment to receive a blessing as we share a beautiful passage of scripture that quiets our souls and helps us to rest in the Lord.
We are praying for you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 100. Getting Real Help for Your Marriage: 10 Obstacles to Counseling and Coaching
Episode 113. No Stone Unturned in Recovery from Porn-Fueled Infidelity
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
In this episode we are excited to have John-Michael Bout share his powerful testimony of struggling with pornography addiction since the age of eight and how he overcame it through God's grace, supportive friendships, and accountability.
John-Michael also introduces his ministry, Into the Light, which offers various free resources including documentaries, video series, and workbooks to help individuals and families combat pornography and better understand biblical sexuality.
He shares with us the importance of confessing sins, addressing the accessibility of pornography through technology, and integrating these conversations and resources into church communities for broader support and impact.
Pop in your earbuds and listen in for some real help!
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
CONNECT WITH JOHN-MICHAEL:
Website: intothelightministries.caSocials:@intothelight_ministriesInto The Light Podcast
RESOURCES:
Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 58. Purpose from Pain: Did Sexual Betrayal Destroy God’s Plan for Your Marriage?
Episode 77. 4 Practical Steps for Vigilance in Recovery from Porn-Fueled Infidelity
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
When you hear the word surrender, what comes to mind?
Does it feel like defeat, like giving up?
We often see surrender as weakness. And for those who like to control everything, surrender seems counterintuitive.
Our instinct is to protect ourselves. Both spouses often resist and hide from the painful path to healing.
In a marriage shattered by sexual betrayal, the fear is that giving up control means being taken advantage of or losing importance in the relationship.
But surrendering your marriage to God is not about giving up. It’s about loosening your grip and trusting in someone greater.
When the infidelity bomb blew up our marriage, we were scared and confused, putting up shields to protect ourselves from each other’s pain.
Until, we chose to surrender—not to each other’s flaws, but to God’s plan for us.
When we stopped striving for our own desired outcomes and handed it over to God, everything changed.
Now, God did not erase the pain, but He guided us through it—revealing truths, healing wounds, and rebuilding trust step by step.
In today's episode, we go deep into what it looks like to surrender and how God used this step of faith in our marriage to create something beautiful.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 81. Giving Thanks In The Aftermath of Porn-Fueled Infidelity
Episode 72. Praising God While in the Storm of Sexual Betrayal and Porn-Fueled Infidelity
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Today we tackle the hardest skill in any marriage - especially after the devastation of sexual betrayal - honest, open communication.
We frame true intimacy as a three-legged stool built on transparency, vulnerability and rigorous honesty, then soften the seat with a cushion of humility so the whole thing doesn’t collapse under the weight of pain and suspicion.
Our goal is to move from theory to practice, from talking about intimacy to living it out daily. That shift requires the right tools. Enter the FANOS Check-In, by Debra Laaser. The acronym FANOS stands for:
Feelings
Affirmations
Needs
Ownership
Struggles/Sobriety.
In this episode, we’ll walk you through how two bruised spouses can sit down, share a safe space on that 3-legged stool, and walk away with clearer hearts, sharper boundaries, and a rebuilt connection.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Emotions Wheel
FANOS CHECK-IN
Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 10. When “I’m Sorry” Isn’t Enough: 8 Steps to a Healing Apology
Episode 80. 7 Caveats for an Effective Healing Apology
Episode 106. From Furious to Curious: How the ‘Emotions Wheel’ Unlocks Deeper Conversations
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Whether you have just recently discovered your spouse’s infidelity or have been working through the recovery process for a while, you are going to want to tune in to today’s episode.
It’s hard to imagine a future where there is honesty, connection, and true intimacy after the marriage vows have been shattered into dust.
But God…
Today we’re exploring what could be possible for your marriage when both partners are fully surrendered to Jesus and do the hard work of recovery.
We are sharing some of the incredible things the Lord did with our marriage in the first two years of recovery to give you some encouragement and hope for yours.
If God can do it for us, he can do it for you. And he wants to! He has a plan... (Jerimiah 29:11)
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 58. Purpose from Pain: Did Sexual Betrayal Destroy God’s Plan for Your Marriage?
Episode 61. 61 | Is Joy Possible After Sexual Betrayal?
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Sexual sin—especially porn-fueled infidelity—doesn’t just wound a marriage; it buries it under shame, secrecy, and shattered trust. But just as Jesus called Lazarus out of the grave, He can resurrect even the most broken relationships.
Your marriage may feel like a tomb right now, but Christ specializes in resurrecting dead things.
Today in this hope-filled, and sometimes emotional conversation, we’ll talk about why sexual betrayal feels like a “death” in a marriage—and how Christ offers resurrection from the tomb of our sin. How God uses others to help us move from where we are to where he wants us to be.
Also, Johnny tells the amazing story of the vision God gave him 6 years prior that has been fulfilled his new, StoneRollers Men’s Recovery Group. Brotherhood is God’s lifeline for struggling men. You don’t have to face recovery alone!
If this episode hits home, you don’t have to go it alone. Join this brotherhood of men committed to rolling away the stones in their lives and stepping into life and victory. Write us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com to get your signup links!
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 25. Persistent Sexual Integrity Issues in Marriage. Do Recovery Programs Really Work?
Episode 43. Our 12-Step Series Wrap Up: Which Sex Addiction Recovery Program Is the Best?
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
The disclosure is done. The secrets are out. Now what?
If you’ve been through Full Therapeutic Disclosure—or if you’re still mustering the courage to start—you know this isn’t the end. It’s the real beginning. Because truth doesn’t just expose the brokenness… it reveals the path forward.
This is the second half of our FTD episode—where we walk you through the final 3 steps of the disclosure process.
The Impact Letter: Her Voice Finally Heard
The Restitution Letter: His Roadmap to Integrity
The Slip & Relapse Plan: Trust Isn’t Blind
FTD doesn’t guarantee your marriage will survive. But it does guarantee this: No more living in the dark.
For the betrayed, it means the power to choose your next step with clarity.
For the betrayer, it means the chance to finally live in truth—even if it costs you everything.
Truth isn’t just where healing starts—it’s where you start living again.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 44. Fearing the Worst? How to Plan for Sex Addiction Slips & Relapses in Your Marriage Steps
Episode 111. Need a Full Therapeutic Disclosure After Infidelity? (Part 1)
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Marriage isn’t just a contract—it’s a covenant, a sacred vow before God and man.
But sexual betrayal doesn’t just break trust… it shatters the covenant itself. The foundation is cracked. The vows feel like a lie. And now, both of you are standing in the wreckage—one drowning in grief, the other paralyzed by guilt.
But here’s the truth: You can’t rebuild on broken ground. Before forgiveness, before reconciliation—before even deciding if this marriage can survive—there’s one thing that has to happen. The full, unedited truth. No more shadows. No more secrets. Because a covenant can only be restored where there’s nothing left to hide.
If you’re the betrayed partner, you’re drowning in questions—What else don’t I know? Can I ever trust again?
And if you’re the betrayer, you’re trapped in a prison of your own lies—How do I fix this? Will the truth destroy us?
Here’s the hard reality: without Full Therapeutic Disclosure, neither of you gets to move forward. The betrayed stays stuck in suspicion, and the betrayer stays stuck in shame. But there’s a way out—and it starts with one terrifying, necessary conversation.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(Paid affiliate links may be included. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 44. Fearing the Worst? How to Plan for Sex Addiction Slips & Relapses in Your Marriage Steps
Episode 51. Full Therapeutic Disclosure: 3 Steps to Healing and Freedom After Sexual Betrayal
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Have you ever stumbled upon a quote that just felt like it was made for you? You know, the kind that resonates so deeply with what you’re going through that it seems like a turning point in your journey?
We all encounter those special quotes that cause us to pause and reflect. While we’re not promising that your life will be changed by them, today we’re sharing with you some of our own special sayings—affectionately dubbed BBVisms!
You might even recognize a few from our show or from our coaching sessions over the last couple of years. Not only will you hear some of our (hopefully) memorable sayings; you'll learn the stories behind how we came up with each of them.
Join us for a mix of light-hearted fun and valuable insights as we share seven of our original quotes. We’d love to know if there’s one that you’ve embraced in your recovery journey!
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(Paid affiliate links may be included. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 09. I’m So Angry! How I Overcame Anger from Sexual Betrayal in 3 Simple But Not Easy Steps
Episode 36 | Recovery Step 7: Holding on to Pride? Humility Before God = Freedom From Pornography
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy
***Top 1.5% Global Podcast***
Dear Betrayed,
Are you in shock? Confused, devastated, hurt, angry and feeling like you are not enough? Do you feel like it must be your fault, like you should have somehow seen the signs? Are you grieving the death of the marriage you thought you had?
Dear Betrayer,
Have you been believing the lie that if people knew what was really in your heart and mind, they would turn their back on you? Have you been convinced that your wife and family would leave you and you would lose everything if/when you came clean?
Beloved, do you both feel like your marriage is over?
Well, you’re right. That marriage full of secrets and lies IS over. But now there is hope for an honest and transparent marriage - one full of trust, safety, connection, forgiveness, acceptance, and intimacy that you’ve never known before. Bold statement, right? You may be thinking, “No way!” That’s okay. We understand…
Hi, we are Johnny and Emily Spigelmire and we have been where you are...
As a result of adultery fueled by pornography, the marriage vows we had exchanged as starry-eyed newlyweds and had worked so hard to keep were eventually shattered. We’ve been through hell and back. But we are here, together, to let you know that this devastation we experienced was actually a gift.
Of course, we didn’t see it that way at first and you probably don’t either. But, through a commitment to recovery, our faith in God, and our hope for redemption, we set out on a journey of healing, and we can’t wait to share what we’ve learned with you. We now have a marriage that continually blows our minds, and we give God all the glory!
So, if you’re ready to move from heartbreak and pain to hope and healing, grab your favorite beverage, get comfy, and join us on a journey of faith as we talk through difficult questions like;
Is there hope for our marriage?
Can I fix all the damage I’ve done?
Can I ever trust again?
Is true intimacy even possible?
We will also do deep dives into the topics of:
* Isolation
* Guilt and Shame
* Anger
* Rejection
* Addiction
* Trauma
* Body Image
* Triggers
* Communication
* And more…
Our story, like yours, is a messy one. But, with God’s help, it is possible to recover what was lost, stolen, or given away. We know this because God has turned the ashes of our lives into something beautiful and we believe he can do that for you too.
You can connect with us at:
support@beyondbrokenvows.com
https://insider.beyondbrokenvows.com/
https://coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com/
We would love to be part of your journey to healing and wholeness!