On Air Force One, President Donald Trump talked up Vice President JD Vance and Secretary of State Marco Rubio as an “unstoppable” 2028 ticket — then immediately blurred the line on whether he’d still be in the mix himself, refusing to rule out trying for a third term even though the 22nd Amendment clearly bans it. We explain what Trump said, why he keeps teasing 2028, and why his own allies are already gaming out how to keep Trumpism in power. Then we pivot to Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, who is now literally banning “beardos” from his events overseas. Service members in South Korea were told that even troops with approved shaving waivers — including guys with documented medical conditions that hit Black service members especially hard — are “not authorized to attend.” Hegseth says he wants a clean-shaven military and has threatened to boot people who still need waivers. We’ll walk through what that means for morale, discipline, and whether the culture war has officially reached facial hair.

 California Governor Gavin Newsom is unloading on President Donald Trump’s 90,000-square-foot, bulletproof, $300 million White House ballroom — calling it a “knock-off Versailles” and blasting Trump for building a private palace on the ruins of the East Wing while millions lose federal food assistance during his shutdown. We lay out what this ballroom actually is (think mega-gilded state hall, capacity 600+ and funded by big donors, after Trump bulldozed a historic part of the White House) and why Newsom says he’s now “seriously” looking at a 2028 run. Then: Trump went to an aircraft carrier in Japan and delivered a wild rant about how “water destroys magnets,” promised an executive order to force the Navy back to steam catapults because he doesn’t trust electromagnetic launch systems, and claimed tractors prove he’s right — even though those same “magnets” are literally used in MRI machines, including the MRI the White House won’t explain. The Commander-in-Chief is redesigning $13 billion carriers based on “a glass of water on the magnets,” and the governor of California is comparing his taste to pre-revolution French royalty. Welcome to Friday.

President Donald Trump’s trip to Japan is raising real questions about his health and his power. We break down the footage of the 79-year-old president gingerly taking the stairs off Air Force One in Tokyo, gripping the rail with both hands and dragging his right leg after meeting Emperor Naruhito — all while the White House refuses to explain why he quietly had an MRI this month but still calls his health “excellent.” We also get into Trump’s shocking speech to U.S. troops in Japan, where he floated sending the U.S. military — not just the National Guard — into American cities to “fix” crime, a scenario critics say sounds a lot like martial law. Then he bragged about sinking boats in the Caribbean and called it a drug war, despite other governments saying civilians and even fishermen were killed. All that, plus Trump telling sailors he’s “always wanted to be an admiral.” This is your daily reality check on the age, stability, and judgment of the guy threatening to use the military at home while insisting he’s in “incredible shape.”

Trump’s shutdown enters chaos mode: food assistance vanishes, flights are at risk, and Speaker Mike Johnson won’t call Congress back. Meanwhile, Trump’s turning the White House into his own Versailles, with a 90,000 sq ft expansion and a staircase to nowhere. Plus, his Asia tour features comedy, cognitive tests, and diplomatic shade. Patrick Gutfield takes you inside the wildest moments from D.C. to Japan.

President Trump flirts with a third term, brushing off the Constitution like it’s optional. He gets an “exceptional” health report from Walter Reed—despite leg swelling—and even jokes about running as VP. Meanwhile, two U.S. Navy aircraft crash in the South China Sea in a bizarre double-incident. Patrick Gutfield breaks down the headlines, including the GOP group chat scandal and the ever-expanding Trump ego.

From Charlotte, where we had the under—Patrick Gutfield breaks down the week’s wildest headlines: the FBI’s “Nothing But Bet” sting shaking the NBA, Trump blowing up trade talks with Canada over a Ronald Reagan ad, and a $300 million White House demolition to make room for a presidential ballroom. It’s corruption, chaos, and construction—all in one Ballot.

President Trump's shocking plan to demolish the historic East Wing reveals a dramatic transformation of America's most iconic building, leaving historians and citizens stunned.

Thieves pull off a cinematic jewel heist at the Louvre in just 7 minutes—complete with motorbikes. At the Vatican, Pope Leo XIV faces conservative backlash over the Latin Mass. And in infrastructure news, Trump tries to axe the $16B Gateway tunnel project, infuriating New York and New Jersey alike. Patrick Gutfield reports from Paris to the Pope to Penn Station.

Vice President J.D. Vance brushes off a vile GOP group chat as “boys being boys,” Trump pitches a $250M White House makeover complete with a giant golden arch, and Joe Rogan suddenly notices Trump’s immigration policies are… intense. Patrick Gutfield breaks it all down, from political tone-deafness to literal architectural ego. Plus: Korean scientists invent a new kind of ice. No, seriously. It’s called Ice-21 and it’s wild.

President Trump drops an absurd AI video showing himself as “King Trump,” just as protests erupt nationwide with 2,600 “No Kings” rallies across all 50 states. Celebrities like Pedro Pascal, Kerry Washington, and Bill Nye join the democracy-themed resistance. Meanwhile, freshly released George Santos rebrands himself as a prison reformer—because of course he does. Ballot’s Patrick Gutfield breaks down the madness with all the snark you need.

From Washington DC where apparently nobody in the military is gay, Patrick Gutfield takes you inside the latest moral panic — Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth is furious about Netflix’s new gay Marine series Boots. Meanwhile, Trump’s busy scheduling imaginary peace summits with Putin, a woman at a Brewers game calls ICE on a Navy vet, and NASA discovers an asteroid just in time to tell us it almost killed us. Just another perfectly normal day in America.

Fresh off a peace summit in Egypt, Trump’s caught on a hot mic discussing real estate deals with Indonesia’s president, then pivots to threatening to yank Boston’s World Cup games because he doesn’t like the mayor. International diplomacy, meet condo development and sports revenge.

At a joint press event with Argentina’s president, Trump pauses to tell a female reporter how much he likes watching her speak, threatens to “violently disarm” Hamas, and compares his body to Joe Biden’s — all while handing Argentina twenty billion dollars. Because nothing says “statesman” like flirting, flexing, and foreign aid.

President Trump declares the Gaza war over with a document nobody read that neither side signed. Marc Maron ends his sixteen-year podcast run with Obama dropping by to discuss partial victories and not annoying people into fascism. And John Legend tries positive reinforcement on Trump, promising him a Nobel Prize if he'll just stop with all the dictator stuff.

From Washington, where “I don’t know him” is the new foreign policy, Patrick Gutfield unpacks Trump’s hilarious denial of knowing who global megastar Bad Bunny is—right before calling his Super Bowl halftime show “absolutely ridiculous.” Meanwhile, ICE and Kristi Noem threaten to turn the big game into Operation Tailgate, the Treasury plans to mint an actual Trump coin that may or may not be illegal, and insiders reveal the president’s insomnia is now a workplace hazard for everyone within Wi-Fi range. 

 Forget candles — President Trump’s celebrating his 80th with chokeholds on the White House lawn. Patrick Gutfield unpacks the plan to turn the South Lawn into the Octagon, Dana White’s grass repair bill, Conor McGregor’s confusion, and why this might be the most violent birthday party in presidential history.

Oh, and, Sex Chatbots.
 

From Miami, where we’re getting jiggy with it, Patrick Gutfield covers Trump’s upcming tour stop—a star-studded business summit featuring Will Smith, Lionel Messi, and more billionaires than sense. Plus, Chicago Marathon runners prepare for a new kind of race-day stress—ICE raids—and Trump “reinterprets” the back-pay law he signed himself. Portions of today’s program were made with the help of A.I.  We don’t pay them either.

From Washington, D.C., where Dolly Parton is fine and Mike Johnson is totally not hiding anything, Patrick Gutfield breaks down why the Speaker refuses to swear in Arizona’s newest congresswoman—who just happens to hold the deciding signature to release the Epstein files. Plus, Attorney General Pam Bondi turns her Senate testimony into a masterclass in dodging questions, and Dolly’s sister accidentally terrifies America with a late-night prayer post.  

Nothing says “Commander in Chief” like showing up late to a military party you can’t afford. Patrick Gutfield dives into Trump’s wild Norfolk Navy spectacle — complete with unpaid sailors, a fighter jet branded “Trump 45–47,” and a 45-minute speech about stairs. Oh, and the First Lady napped through it. America’s back, baby.

President Trump spent the government shutdown creating AI deepfakes instead of governing, then turned on Fox News for daring to interview a Democrat. Speaker Mike Johnson refuses to swear in a congresswoman who'd be the deciding vote to release the Epstein files—total coincidence, he swears. And Taylor Swift dropped her most explicit song ever about Travis Kelce's... talents. Federal workers aren't getting paid, but at least we're all entertained.