Deep in the Eucalyptus forests of Australia, a fluffy grey creature dozes peacefully in the nook of a branch, blissfully unaware that across the world, a Zookeeper and amateur comedienne is determined to get to the bottom of whether or not Koalas are "assholes" or not.
Thankfully for the small-brained Koala, they never will know. And you're not going to tell them...right?
Joining Alice on her quest to find the truth is wildlife veterinarian, conservationist and Koala warzone resident - Dr Chloe Buiting. Listen as these two discuss Squirrel Monkey pickpocketing, Australian Magpie swooping, and Koala screeching.
Our charity of the week this week is "Friends of the Koala" - a Koala Hospital in New South Wales putting any injured little guys back out into the bush. Check our their incredible work at: https://friendsofthekoala.org - and donate today if you love Koalas and want to save them!
Alright, so we may need to up our PR budget for this one...NO ONE is protesting on the side of Ticks. They are bitey, blood-sucky, gross-looking little creatures that look like they belong in a sci-fi movie...or are they?
It just so happens that we managed to find an expert willing to put his reputation on the line to defend the tiny Tick - vet, conservationist and hilarious human Dr Sean McCormack, survivor of Lyme disease and lover of parasites.
Join Sean and Alice at Global Birdfair 2025 as they educate not only the live audience, but listeners worldwide, about the importance of Ticks in our ecosystems, and some handy tips for preparing for Tick season! God bless you, Sean, you're doing God's work!
What do you think you know about Iguanas? That they're big ol' Lizards that hang around Florida? That they make great emotional support pets for lonely spinsters? (Shout-out to Jub-Jub from "The Simpsons").
What if we told you that Iguanas are some of the most diversely located reptiles on Earth? What if we told you that they have the quiet dignitas of an animal that's achieved spiritual enlightment but have teeth that say "yeah, fuck around and find out, pal"? What if we mentioned that one species can hold their breath for 30 minutes underwater?
Well, this is all the crazy shit you'd be missing out on if you DON'T tune in to this week's episode, featuring reptile-enthusiast and Iguana-nerd, the actor, the podcaster, the "Masked Singer"s: Matthew Lawrence!
So hit play and prepare to appreciate the salad-powered sass of the Iguana.Our sponsor of this episode is the incredible Bristol Fungarium - giving you a little mushroom magic to help with that pesky ADHD or Anxiety! Give their products a whirl at: www.bristolfungarium.com
Our Charity of the Week is the International Iguana Foundation - who are putting in the WORK to protect our scaly friends - find them at www.iguanafoundation.org.
It's difficult not to be jealous of Eagles, isn't it? Their giant wingspan, their majesty in the air, the gasps of wonder that follow them wherever they fly. The awe they strike upon us by simply existing in our skies is something to behold. And yet here we are - talking White-Tailed Eagles today...
On the show to talk about his relationship with these majestic birds and to discuss his new book, which is CHOCK-FULL of cool animal facts, is wildlife photographer and honorary eagle himself, Hamza Yassin. Listen to this episode to hear about why we need Eagles and which animal Hamza considers an absolute asshole...
Our charity of the week this week is the fabulous Roy Dennis Wildlife Foundation - putting in the hard work to return White-Tailed Eagles to our skies. Find them at https://roydennis.org to hear more about their work.
Our sponsors of the show today are the fabulous Bristol Fungarium, who have made mushrooms their business and are interested in helping you add some mushroom magic to your life! Check them out at www.bristolfungarium.com!
We've really shot ourselves in the foot with this one, haven't we? What possible asshole-rating could Alice give to man's closest animal companion? The Scooby to our Shaggy? The Gromit to our Wallace? The Hachiko to our...whoever Hachiko's owner was?
We brought out the big guns for this one. Anthrozoologist Hal Herzog - who studies the relationship between Humans and Dogs, joins Alice this week as they've got perhaps the TOUGHEST job of all - deciding of how much of a dick Dogs can be...
Care to find out what Dogs have to do with ghosts, Red Pandas and babies bottoms? Look no further. But hold your feelings tight, this may be a bumpy ride for Dog lovers everywhere!
This episode is sponsored by the incredible Bristol Fungarium - who are doing their best to get you to your healthiest, with the help of mushroom tinctures! Find out more at www.bristolfungarium.com!
Our charity of the week this week is the most wholesome and amazing group of folks, called Best Friends Animal Society - the troopers on the ground, helping to get the amount of pets killed in shelters down to ZERO! Check them out at: www.bestfriends.org!
If you're a Millenial, then chances are you grew up watching The Rescuers, so are somewhat traumatised by Gators, having watched young orphan Penny be tormented by Madame Medusa and her two, thicc pet alligators.
But, this is reality, so we have important questions to address, the most pertinent being: "Are Gators actually assholes?", and to help Alice answer that question, we brought in native Floridian and the host of "Just the Zoo of Us" podcast: Ellen Weatherford!
They’ll be diving into all the facts: their prehistoric backstory, their sneaky hunting strategies, their surprisingly tender parenting skills — and of course, their legendary ability to look completely harmless until they absolutely aren’t. So, are Gators swampy jerks that are keen to ruin your canoe trip? Or are they just misunderstood survival experts with a mouth full of teeth?
Grab your floaties and maybe a helmet — let’s go wrestle with some gator facts!Our charity of the week this week is the brilliant and litigious: Centre for Biological Diversity, who are using the LAW to crack down on those destroying our planet. Find them at: https://www.biologicaldiversity.org/ and learn about the ways they're curb-stomping nature haters, in a lawful way.
This episode of the podcast is sponsored by Bristol Fungarium - helping you bring a little mushroom magic into your life and your health routine, with their fabulous mushroom tinctures. Find out if mushroom tinctures are the right choice for you and your health needs at: www.bristolfungarium.com.
Quick fire: what carnivore found in both Africa AND Asia is a highly intelligent, highly successful apex predator with a complex social structure? If you said Lions, then you are DEAD wrong, idiot.
Today we're talking about one of the most badass animals that you probably don't know too much about (or what you DO know is incorrect...thanks, Disney) .
Standing with Alice to present the best Hyena defence for the jury is wildlife educator, author and all around hilarious human being, Mamadou Ndiaye, who is making it his personal mission to re-write what people know about this incredible and metal-as-hell animal.
If you want to get to the bottom of whether Hyenas are TRULY assholes or not, give this episode a listen and we promise you'll come away with some epic Hyena facts and a greater appreciation for their kind. [no money back guarantees].
Our charity of the week this week is the Ngorongoro Hyena Project, based out in Tanzania, whose team are researching the Spotted Hyena clans in the crater there. Find out what they're upto and how you can help at: https://hyena-project.com/
We also have a BRAND NEW SPONSOR to the show, the fabulous fungi gurus: the Bristol Fungarium - the produers of the UK's first organic, certified medicinal mushroom tinctures! Find out how to get a bit of mushroom magic into your life at www.bristolfungarium.com!
What do you think of when you think of an Emu? Dark, sweeping hair? Eyeliner? Lip piercings? Well, I hate to blow your minds, but you're actually thinking of Emos, you absolute spoon.
Far less moody and listening to way less My Chemical Romance is the humble Emu, native to the chaotic Australia. Emus are tall, curious and make EXCELLENT Dads, so why are they on this podcast today?
Joining Alice to be the justice that Emus need is the fabulous Christian Flores - Zookeeper, Paleo-educator and Emu enthusiast. Listen as they discuss Michael Jordan, Game of Thrones and a book about how to look after captive Dinosaurs!
Our Charity of the week this week is the marvellous Bush Heritage Australia - who are fighting to keep Australia's unique flora and fauna alive and well. Join them in protecting many different species that call Australia home at: www.bushheritage.org.au.
Okay, okay. We know we're going to have to work overtime on this one, because this is a hard sell.
Yes, Rats carry diseases, cause damage, eat food that doesn't belong to them and MAYBE most people are weirdly creeped out by their tail. But they are also smart, compassionate and determined individuals, so maybe you should shut the hell up.
Here to give Rats some positive PR is the incredible Dr Evan Antin, small animals/exotic/wildlife vet, who can reassure you, from a vet side of things that they are not the evil creatures of the night that society thinks they are. Join him and Alice as they talk the Rattiest city in the world, McDonald's chocolate milkshakes and of course, one of the more famous rats: Rizzo the Rat, from the Muppets.
Our charity of the week this week is the incredible Pasadena Humane - who are working around the clock to care for the animals affected by the fires in California earlier this year. To give them a hand and protect not only abandoned pets, but also wildlife, find them on https://pasadenahumane.org/.
We are also excited to announce our NEW SPONSOR: the fabulous and hilarious Animals Anonymous. If you love animals, have a sense of humour and want to buy from a company that is giving back to conservation, check out their incredible range of merch made by former Zookeeper and animal lover: Alexis. To take a peek at their stickers, clothes and water bottles, head on over to www.animalsanonymousapparel.com.
It's hard to imagine that Alice would be poking fun at a bird with iridescent feathers, a beautiful flight pattern, and whose name LITERALLY means "little star", but here we are. It was hard to imagine that Donald Trump would turn out to be a wannabe Dictator....crazier things have happened in this timeline.
Here to discuss one of Britain's most under-the-radar birds is celebrated author, TV producer, and creator of BBC's Springwatch: Stephen Moss - who researched Starlings to such a degree that he became their official biographer, releasing a book entitled: "The Starling: A Biography".
Tune in to hear Alice and Stephen dissect the two personalities of the Starling: the one the general public see and the one it actually is. Hear them dive into topics such as the incredible Somerset murmurations, Roman augury, and of course Oasis vs Blur.
Our charity of the week this week is shielding Somerset's land/plants/animals from more climate crises: the incredible Somerset Wildlife Trust. To find out more about their journey to protect Somerset's wild spaces, visit their website at www.somersetwildlife.org.
And, as always, our superstar sponsor, Blue Panda Clothing is sponsoring this episode today. Shop with code: ALICE10 to receive 10% off of your Blue Panda purchase when you go to their online store! Get the Christmas presents done for your animal-loving pals with the help of Asshole Animals and Blue Panda using code: ALICE10! Visit their site at: www.bluepanda.co.uk for some sustainably chic designs! What are you waiting? RUN!
Side note before we get started: does anyone else remember Cadbury's "Taz"s? The chocolate bar? The one that was kind of like a Freddo but had caramel inside? What ever HAPPENED to those?
In any case, Tasmanian Devils are definitely one of those creatures that the general public knows little about, other than through the portrayal of a beloved yet crazed cartoon lunatic. Could you even DRAW a Tasmanian Devil if I asked you to? Probably not, right?
Here to talk about these wild and wonderful beings is Brian Ahearn, nature-lover and artist, and creator of Zoo Draws, the comic strip that combines comedy and nature (sound familiar?).
Listen to Alice and Brian talk about what makes Tazzie Devils special, including their facial tumours, carnivorous babies, and how they've recently made a comeback to Australia after a whopping 3000 years!
Our charities of the week are the INCREDIBLE Aussie Ark and Re:Wild - both setting extraordinary examples of how to be excellent humans and save the planet. If you want to find out more about what they're doing to help Tazzie Devils and generally making the world a better place, check out www.aussieark.org.au and rewild.org!
Quick question: how much do you know about Slug penises? Not very much? Well, that's SUPER embarrassing for you...Thankfully, Yussef Rafik (children's TV presenter/zoologist/slug enthusiast) is here to tell you all you need to know about Slugs (genitalia and otherwise).
The human experience with Slugs can probably be best described as one of "disgust", right? No one is happy to see a Slug - not on their plants, under their shoe as they step out into the garden, and certainly not in their HOMES. But Slugs are actually incredible creatures and are super important for our survival, so tune in to hear Alice and Yussef talking about why we need them, where the word "sluggish" comes from, and also why you should NEVER EVER eat a slug, not even on a dare from your friends.
Our charity of the week this week is the incredible Bug Life - a charity Alice has actually mentioned on the show but their work is so vital, it bears repeating. Looking after the little things that run the world, go on to their website to learn more about how to help bugs and also what awesome species we have here in the UK, at www.buglife.org.uk.
This episode of Asshole Animals with Alice is sponsored by the fabulously and delightfully whimsical Button and Squirt - who are helping you and your little ones learn about the natural world in the most fun way possible! To dive in to the world of wildlife and pick up a fun present for an animal-lover you know, head over to their website, at: www.buttonandsquirt.co.uk.
You've got to hand it to Elephants - for an animal THAT large, they've managed to invoke a range of emotions in us pretty well. Whether you were moved to tears by Dumbo, terrified of the Heffalumps in Winnie the Pooh or laughing at Stampy, Bart's Elephant from the Simpsons - us humans have a special kinship with these large creatures and it's about time we explored that...
Here to determine if Elephants are assholes are not is funny man James Roday Rodriguez, who believes that Elephants may just be our spirit guides. Hear Alice and James dive into topics such as Verne Troyer, Hindu Mythology AND where the phrase "White Elephant" came from on this very special episode of Asshole Animals.
Please note: Alice DOES claim in this episode that she doesn't know of any examples of Elephants being malicious to other species on purpose - which directly contradicts her previous episode on Vultures with Tom Morath. Simple explanation: she had no idea Elephants messed with Lappet-faced Vulture nests at the time of this recording.
Our charity of the week is the fabulous Trunks Up - who are working hard to free Elephants from being put to work in Asia and to give them a peaceful existence out in large sanctuaries. Find out more about their incredible work and how you can donate to help feed these Elephants at www.trunksup.org.
We have 3 incredible sponsors this week!
1) Nature Spy - the ultimate go-to for all of your wildlife watching tech! If you're in need of a camera that lets you watch wildlife from afar, these are your guys. Use code "ANIMALS10" to get 10% off of trail cameras, in honour of their 10th anniversary. https://www.naturespy.org <---
2) Our pals at Blue Panda are sponsoring this episode of the podcast, and c'mon guys, if you haven't seen their incredibly cute range of Elephant merchandise, then what are you doing?! Check out some sustainable and chic fashion at www.bluepanda.co.uk!
3) NEW SPONSOR ALERT: We are proud to sponsored by the incredible Button and Squirt - who make animal activities and illustrations, designed to help your little ones learn about the natural world (and grown ups too!). To browse their amazing range of cards and activity books that are bright and fabulous, check out: www.buttonandsquirt.co.uk
We all love a good crossover episode, right? Jetsons meet the Flintstones, Family Guy vs The Simpsons, Angel and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Well, all of those crossovers PALE in comparison to the shenanigans brought by the teams at "How Many Geese?" and "Asshole Animals with Alice"...
Join Jack, Roddy and Alice as they set their differences aside to crown the "Worst Bird in the World"...at Global Birdfair.
This journey is no easy task - and it will take 7 suggestions from the fans, and 3 birds each from the trio to face off in a 16-bird battle for the crown. WHO will be the victor, and what makes them the World's Worst Bird? You know what to do, give it a listen...
Are you a certified bird nerd? Does birding in the great outdoors, come rain or shine, tickle your fancy? Are you looking to meet other bird people, while hearing about the incredible things people out there are doing to protect and preserve our winged friends? Then Global Birdfair is the place for you! It is bird lover's Mecca. It is the congregation of those who love to see nature thriving. There is so much love and knowledge in the room, that you are GUARANTEED to come away with new friends, stories, and even some awesome bird merchandise...
As Alice attends Global Birdfair 2024, hear her discuss with the Hawk Conservancy Trust's own Tom Morath - bird of prey expert and host of "Nature's a Hoot" podcast, about a very large asshole-animal-of-the-week...
What animal could it be? And what have they done to earn this mantle? Only one way to find out! You know what to do...
Signs that you might be a Kookaburra:
- You love to laugh <3
- You're close with your family
- You like to keep it simple with decorating your home, instead of making your nesting complex
- You're a great partner to your significant other
- You can be a jerk at times
Kookaburras MAY just be the animal embodiment of "Live, Laugh, Love" - with close family bonds, being excellent at hunting, and also that clamorous cackle that makes them so famous. But, just like those that own a "Live, Laugh, Love" sign at home, Kookaburras have the capacity to be jerks at times. And here is where our fabulous guest, Ned Pickett, comes in.
Join Alice and Ned as they delve into what makes a Kookaburra an asshole, as well as why you should be carrying a water pistol with you if you live in Australia. Tune in if you like World of Warcraft, the Olympics OR want to know which word is older: "Kookaburra"? or "millionaire"?.
Our charity of the week won't be focusing on Kookaburras - they're doing fine right now. We don't need to worry about them. Instead, at Ned Pickett's request, the charity of the week is: Friends of California Condors, Wild and Free. A dedicated team of volunteers working as educators and guides - to tell the public about one of the most critically endangered animals on the planet! Check them out at: www.friendsofcondors.org - to see what they're upto and give them a hand!
Our sponsor of the show this week is the hilarious Effin Birds - merchandise you WON'T want to miss out on if you like birds, and swearing. A combination just as beautiful as peanut butter and jelly. For merch of birds who are over your shit, check out: www.effinbirds.com. You absolutely will not regret it, this shit is hysterical.
We, as humans, DO love to use animal names as insults, don't we? You might call your cheating ex boyfriend a "dog", you might call someone going to the police a "rat". Hell, you may even go as far as to call people who support Trump "sheep". It's called speciesism - look it up.
Among those brutish insult-names, is the humble Snake, which is what you might call someone treacherous or sneaky. Snakes have had a bad rap since...well, the Bible, I guess. Tempting Eve and all that. But elsewhere in the world, other cultures gave them more respect, and viewed them as signs of fertility, rebirth and even healing. Look at any good hospital for the rod of Asclepius (the god of healing), which is encircled by a snake. WE NEED SNAKES!
Here to defend the Snake like a knight in shining armour, is Dan Rumsey - snake expert and relocator, who has been obsessed with them his entire life. Join Alice and Dan as they discuss gliding snakes, snail-eating snakes, and being tired of these "motherfuckin' snakes on this motherfuckin' plane".
Our charity of the week this week is the fabulous Aussie Ark - an incredible wildlife rehabilitation and habitat restoration organisation that are championing the unique species of Australia by helping them get back on their feet (spoiler alert: the Europeans didn't help...). Find out more about their mission at: www.aussieark.org.au.
And, you guessed it, our incredible sponsor of the show is none other than Blue Panda Clothing - the stylish and sustainable option this summer for all of your animal-clothes needs. Great presents for your animal-obsessed friend or a great treat for you (you deserve it!) - shop ethically online at www.bluepanda.co.uk!
Growing up, your first experience with a Coyote quite possibly may have been watching a cartoon Coyote attempt, in vain, to catch and eat a cartoon Roadrunner. What if we told you that while you're rooting for the Roadrunner as a kid, as an adult you're probably identifying more with the Coyote?
With Alice this week is YouTuber, wildlife expert and all-around badass Coyote Peterson, to tell you how he got his nickname, why Coyotes will survive the apocalypse, AND about an incredible feature film that we need to get off of the Warner Bros shelf...
Our Charity of the Week this week is the incredible Save the Horns - an organisation championed by Coyote Peterson, saving the Black Rhino. Find out more about their mission at www.savethehorns.com.
This episode is sponsored by the FABULOUS Blue Panda Clothing - who should be your one-stop shop for a sustainable, fashionable summer! Check out their range of t-shirts and backpacks to look good and feel good on your summer adventures. Find them at www.bluepanda.co.uk.
The term "Bear" can evoke a number of feelings depending on the context. If you're an avid hiker, hearing the word "bear" may induce a sense of sheer terror. When coupled with the word "hug", the term "bear" might be a source of comfort, especially when you need an extra-strong source of affection. If you love burly, hairy men, then "bear" may elicit some arousal, who knows?
In the context of this show, "Bear" should invoke feelings of joy and wonder, as we dive into the behaviour of specifically Brown Bears - the poster child of the Ursidae family and the most adaptable and versatile member of the 8 bear species!
With Alice this week to talk Brown Bears is Bear biologist and host of the smash-hit podcast "Tooth and Claw": Wes Larson, who gives us a rundown of Bear behaviours, tells us 3 simple ways to protect yourself from a Bear attack in the woods, and also explains what a Bear Claw is.
Our Charity of the Week this week is The Grizzly Bear Foundation - who work tirelessly to keep Grizzly Bears in North American forests. Check out their incredible work at: www.grizzlybearfoundation.com
This episode is sponsored by Nature Spy - your go-to centre for wildlife-watching tech! They're offering 10% all trail cameras with a code only found in the episode! Listen in and head on over to www.naturespy.org!
This episode is also sponsored by Blue Panda Clothing - your one-stop shop for sustainable and chic clothing! Check out their GORGEOUS bear-related merchandise at https://bluepanda.co.uk/collections/bear
It's difficult to imagine a more intense rivalry than Humans and Geese. We eat them at Christmas time, they terrorise our picnics. It's a feud as old as time, with countless tears and bloodshed, and yet we are doomed to torture each other as long as we both walk this Earth.
Championing the Goose's side of the war, while still acknowledging the living chaos that our feathered friends rain upon mankind, is Ornithologist, host of the "How Many Geese?" podcast, and first EVER returning guest: Jack Baddams, who exhibits what we like to call "BGE" or Big Goose Energy.
Jack joins Alice this week to discuss why Geese are the antithesis to the British public, the crazy story behind Barnacle Geese, AND why we should all "be more Goose" when we need a dash of brazen confidence.
Our Charity of the Week this week is the WWT - the Wildfowl and Wetlands Trust, who are not only protecting the habitat where Geese (and other birds) roam, but have been pivotal in the repopulation of the Hawaiian Goose! Visit one of their sites today and find out why Wetlands are crucial to a healthy planet at: www.wwt.org.uk.
This episode of the show is sponsored by the incredible Nature Spy - the wizards of wildlife-watching tech, who are offering a 10% discount on all trail cameras with a code you can only find in the episode! Find out more about their inspirational organisation and how they're helping conservation projects across the world at www.naturespy.org!
The episode is also sponsored by Effin Birds, who strike that perfect balance of Birds and insults. Preorder their 2025 calendar today and don't miss out on their new comics, which find creative new ways to insult people! Shop for their hilarious mugs, t-shirts and playing cards at www.effinbirds.com!
