What are the strange and specific desires of a woman’s heart, and how is the Fictional Man so spot on? Listen as Andy and Stacey McEwan (romance author, Tik Tok and Bookstagram star) profile the perfect fictional lover and analyze the extremely fictional female fantasy. andyoverthinks.com/femalefantasies
“Never Had a Man Like Me” Parody song lyrics:
Well Mr. Darcy had 10,000 poundsAnd Edward Cullen was one hundred ten.But woman you’re in luck ‘cause in hardboundsAre fake men to read again and again…
I got the power to make you say wowAn unintentional athletic champ.In young adult, fiction, and your fantasyI got you turning on your bedside lamp
And I’ll sayPerfectly average girlWithout you I cannot beYeah I’m a custom orderYour guy’s a clownYou ain’t never had a man like me (Ha ha ha)
He is not a thrilling tauntAnd I’m your hot faerie!A mythical creature’s what you really want!You ain’t never had a man like me.
Yes mam, your quirks are what I worshipYour freak outs, your fits, your flaws!You’re my only wishI do courtshipHow about an unconditional massage?
Love your obnoxious friendsyour dysfunctional familyI’m in the mood for all your moodsYou ain’t never had a man like me!
‘How do I look?’ SO GOOD‘I’ll just have some of yours.’ OH YEAH‘Would you get remarried if I died?’ I COULD NEVER
You’re cute when you’re pissedI got a six packBut I wouldn’t care a bit if you got fat!Does your man go poop?Well not me my dear.
Has your dude chased down your car, your flight, or shipJust to make certain his love is clear?
Go on and sit there slack jawed, buggy eyedAs I gently push back your hairI’d put your oxygen mask on before mineDid I mention I’m a millionaire?
I got a powerful urge to take you out,never hang with friends or on my ownA honey-do list that’s three miles long, do doubtAll you gotta do is just say so!Miss unremarkable, and normal, plain ladyMake my heart throb, your guy’s lost the job
You ain’t never had a man, never had a man, you ain’t never had a man like me!
Stacey McEwan’s
newly released book! Her
instagram and
TikTok
Beale Street Theater
