People Pleasing or Kindness? Here’s How to Tell the Difference

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Worthy of Work: Learning About Me Helps Me Love You.

Stephanie Rivard

28 episodes

1 week ago

Welcome to Worthy of Work. If you've ever questioned your relationship patterns, struggled with character defects, or wondered what 'normal' looks like, this podcast is for you. Join Stephanie as we unpack recovery principles, debunk relationship myths, and explore skills no one taught us—so you can break unhealthy cycles and build relationships you once doubted existed. Stephanie shares her journey from codependent divorcee to at peace and happily married, offering clarity on what once confused her and the tools she wished she had learned sooner.

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Self-Improvement

Education

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People Pleasing or Kindness? Here’s How to Tell the Difference

Worthy of Work: Learning About Me Helps Me Love You.

10 minutes 12 seconds

3 months ago

People Pleasing or Kindness? Here’s How to Tell the Difference

Are you saying yes when you really want to say no? In this episode of Worthy of Work, we unpack one of the most common character defects: people pleasing. It's often mistaken for kindness but it's actually fear, control, and dishonesty in disguise.

Stephanie breaks down how people pleasing develops (especially for those raised in disrupted homes), how it shows up in adult relationships, and why it's so damaging—even when it looks like generosity. She offers a clear contrast between people pleasing vs kindness, and practical ways to start showing up more honestly in your relationships.

If you’ve ever felt guilty for setting a boundary, unsure whether you were being mean or just real, this episode is for you. You’ll learn how to spot when fear is running the show, how to respond with truth and love, and how healthy connection can’t grow when we’re wearing a mask.

Key Takeaways:

People pleasing is dishonest, compulsive, and rooted in fear, not love.
Kindness is not the same as self-abandonment.
Healthy relationships don’t require pretending, silence, or performance.
How to speak up with courage, clarity, and care.
Sample phrases you can use to say no with love.
What becomes possible when you stop people pleasing.

Recovery Principle Highlighted: Honesty and self-responsibility. Spotting a character defect.
Transformation Focus: From pretending to being real.
Best For: Women in recovery, former people pleasers, helpers and fixers, anyone learning to build healthy s

✨ "You are allowed to be honest. You are allowed to say no. You are allowed to disappoint someone without being wrong."

If this resonates, pause and ask:
Where am I saying yes when I mean no?
Where could I show up more honestly?
What would change if I told the truth with love?

🔔 Subscribe for more episodes on how to break unhealthy patterns and build connection with clarity, courage, and care.

🎧 Share this episode with a friend who’s ready to stop performing and start showing up.

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