Got a dog they said, it’ll be fun they said – what they didn’t say was that by getting a dog my focus for the rest of my days would be on poop. Walking at 5 am, I know some people enjoy it, some people like being up before the day has started and for others, the day is already underway. Me opinion is; are you mad – there is only one 5 o’clock unless you’re going on holiday, then no one minds getting up a 5 am. I woke up with a sniff, the most horriblist of horrible smells. I shot out of bed and knew instantly what was wrong. Poor old Eva has the poops. When I say poops is more like a running tap and the poor dog wasn’t able to make it through the night. Went out with whatever I threw on and the dog had me running down the towpath in desperate need of some grass because that is our preferred area even though she’d had an accident in the night on the boat.

Of course, I went back to bed, I was tired and only went walking because the dogs needed it and knew the route. As I dozed off Dave got up for work and took the dogs out, again and again, she went number 2. Then I woke late morning to the frantic padding for yep you guessed it another desperate running tap poop. And then again early afternoon and then again pretty much every two hours. I’ve practically run a marathon. Maybe not an actual marathon but not far off. Maybe a fair way off but my legs are not used to running never mind the tugging on the lead. Hate dogs that pull, turn a blind eye to dogs that pull when they are about to explode.

I’ve applied some binding medication that we have, so I’m hoping to have corked it to allow us to get through the night, but I might set the alarm and get up in the early hours just to ensure that the boat stays clean, and more importantly that Eva gets a break and isn’t in discomfort. Get a dog they said – it’ll be fun they said. I’m not having fun, can I get a refund?

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