Morning thunderstorm recorded inside a Buick — this falls into our annual and hopefully distracting series for Election Days or any other news you’re trying to avoid. Checkout last year and the year before for more.

And every year I also force the theme of “October Rain” — harkening to Use Your Illusion I, the yellow cover. In 1991 I asked Santa Claus for Use Your Illusion II, the blue cover. Which I wrote clearly on the wishlist my parents handed me in early December — we knew Santa wasn’t real but our youngest was still in the dark on that. On the wishlist I wrote “Guns N’ Roses, Use Your Illusion, ‘blue cover.’ And underlined blue a bunch of times to be sure. I wanted the mayhem of “You Could Be Mine” to power me through January in military school.

We were still in the age of the longbox format, the early 90s. A time when the mall music store clerks were still very serious and important people. And I’m not talking the drifter *** record store employee cliches I could heap upon you like a Flintstone rib. Yes let’s the envision vinyl salesperson still holding on to the seventies cursing this modern capalistic nightmare over a spinning plate — and they would be smoking Acapulco Gold and spinning The Raincoats, thumbing their hair behind their ears. I got news for you hippy, wait until 2025… where y’all are sorta experiencing a rebirth of popularity for your product, so never mind. 

Mall music stores in the 80s and early 90s felt important, before the Applebees enshittification of modern franchise decor — throw a bunch of **** on the walls with red lights everywhere and call it a day. For me Applebees franchise decor peaked in the late 90s with a restaurant called Bugaboo Creek who programmed the enshitifcation on the walls to talk at patrons. And yet it still endures…).

The music stores of yore were sterile white and felt like a NoMad dispensary. Clerks dressed in company outfits, black pants and some muted coral shirt with collar. Something an HR department screw might wear while laboring on the Island of Dr Moreau. The CDs popped out of slots in the walls in long cardboard boxes with beautiful artwork matching the cover of whichever album — the wasteful yet coveted longbox format era… ( I so want to pay too much money for the Paula Abdul Shut Up and Dance longbox, it’s gorgeous). 

Anyway, Santa Claus brought me the yellow cover, Use Your Illusion I — ********… In the end I think Use your Illusion I is the superior Use Your Illusion so maybe the figment was doing me a favor. 

Ok, so after writing all of the above I realized the name of the song is “November Rain;” still Use Your Illusion I, yellow cover. And I know what you’re thinking — why didn’t I clean up the “October Rain” bit and just start as “Every year I force the theme to fit ‘November Rain…?’” This is a bit, isn’t it? 

I’ve triggered the part of your brain that wants to compose a “well actually” email. And for what? A long jaunt across vintage music stores and a ***** talking deer on the wall? 

Look, something tells me you need to be reading this, you need a few extra paragraphs that aren’t hosted by some stiff in a suit staring at you from a faraway TV studio. Or posts authored by ****** Ms. Johnson. The neighbor you friended on Facebook because she insisted, and now your feed is full of her bad advice and weird AI cats. 

And truth be told I realized my error after finishing my episode cover design and I didn’t feel like redoing it.