Also: Should you leave a salami by your front door to catch burglars? Who wears Prada loafers to building sites? Is it a crime to snack as you shop? What are “White Rabbits” and why did you just punch me in the kidneys? How do you pronounce “E.E.U.U.” in a Spanish accent? Where’s the best place to hide when you’re blinded by tomato juice and being chased by a snarling bull? And which politicians should be forced to wrestle each other in gravy?

It’s the podcast that makes you dumber and never catches any murderers, with a McDonald’s-lobbying Phil in Los Angeles and an ear wax-encumbered Dominic Hilton in Buenos Aires.

Inquiries: twogentsfromnowhere@gmail.com