Phillippians 4:13 1 Kings 8:57   #victimmentality #endabuse #childhoodsexualabuse #abusesurvivor

This is going to be a place where we're going to talk about everyday life but through the lens of Scripture.  There's going to be an emphasis, however, on how the effects of childhood sexual abuse, literally affect our everyday life.  I'm a survivor.  I'm not a victim.  So many people identify themselves as a victim and in the Bible, we are not victims, we are victors.  And I want to help everyone to get to that place.  It is not a journey that has been easy for me but I promise, it was worth it.  This journey has been one that has lasted so far for 40 years.  For me, my childhood sexual abuse started at age 11.  It has been one that over time has become easier and easier and not because of me, but because of what Jesus has shown me how He sees me.  It's not natural for victims of sexual abuse to see themselves in any kind of positive light.  Most of us feel broken.  We feel worthless.  There are so many things in our life that will affirm that if we allow them to, other people, bad relationships, just how we see ourselves; having a bad hair day, I gained 10 pounds, whatever it is, but none of that matters. What matters is how Jesus sees us and until we start to look at ourselves through His eyes, we're going to live in that victim mentality.  And that's exactly where the enemy wants us.  I stayed there for a really long time and I promise you that the journey is worth getting to the other side.  It's something that is very painful, but it's not impossible.  The Bible tells us that, "We can do all things through Christ because that's where we get our strength."  Unfortunately, so many of us because we have had to be tough, we've learned to be tough from a very early age.  It was part of our survival.  So we try to do this in our own strength.  We try to get better.  We do anything that we can just to survive and so we become tough by nature, but Jesus says to lay your burdens at His feet.  That is not something that comes naturally to me.  I'm not one to ask for help.  I usually am the one helping, and I feel comfortable in that role.  I'm very independent.  It was very difficult to trust anybody to help me.  I've had to learn over the years that there's no requirement for me to trust people, my requirement is to trust The Lord.  So what I've learned to do, is anyone that the Lord brings into my life, whether it is for a reason, a season, or for my lifetime, I still have to trust the Lord with that relationship, which means that if they leave, then there was a reason that God had them there, and there's a reason that he removed them.  So even though those things are really tough and sometimes those things include your own family members, some of your closest friends.  And it's not an easy thing to go through, but when your trust is not in people and your trust is in the Lord, then you know that He has a master plan and that there's a reason that He's allowing these things.  Sometimes the easiest way for God to get our attention, unfortunately, because we're human, and we live in a fallen world, is through tragedy.  Tragedy is not something that He enjoys us going through.  Just like as a parent, I don't like seeing my children suffer in any way, but you know what, you know when they're the sweetest is when they need me.  Every single time that we have any kind of tragedy, whether it's something very small or something very tragic like childhood sexual abuse, the Lord never leaves us or forsakes us. He is there.  He walks through it.  He cries when we cry.  That's something that for me was very difficult because I originally wanted to not think of Him as my Father as my sexual abuse came from my father.