Welcome back to another jam-packed edition of your favorite movie newsletter—where we climb up the cinematic redwood, hack at some plot branches, and occasionally fall off the stump of disbelief. This week, your hosts Jason and Nate have endured serious bodily harm (vicariously) all for… Novocaine (2025). Yeah, that’s right: action, comedy, and more anatomical confusion than your last trip to WebMD.

Quick Recap: What Even Is Novocaine? If you thought the only people who couldn’t feel pain were Marvel villains or your ex during your breakup speech, think again! Novocaine introduces us to Jack Quaid’s character, an assistant bank teller with a rare condition—and by “rare,” we mean, apparently, he skips chewing solid foods and is maybe, possibly, sexually confused (not his fault; blame the writers). His dream girl, played by the formidably forward Amber Midthunder, gets kidnapped, and our hero must use his “superpower” (read: dangerous medical liability) to rescue her.

Plot Points That Make Us Say “Wait, What?”

Jack Quaid’s character can’t feel pain, but can he feel… pleasure? Pressure? The burning sadness of eating hot sauce shots and not knowing if you should be aroused or afraid? The debate raged on.

The “romance” escalates fast. Our hosts wonder: why WOULDN’T you say yes to a date with Amber Midthunder? (Sidebar: Note to audience—never go to the bathroom during a date. It’s the fastest way to lose your shot, hot sauce or not.)

The bad guys are so bad at shooting in the first act, we think they trained under Stormtrooper correspondence courses. By the finale, though, they’re nailing headshots like Olympic marksmen. Pick a lane, fellas.

Apparently, getting arrows through thighs, compound fractures, and tattooing addresses into your palm is survivable. But chew carefully—an errant carrot, and you’re done for



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