Welcome back to Trees in Space, the only podcast with roots in outer space and branches in the world of ridiculous cinema! This week, Jason and Nate boldly venture where no critics should ever have to go: the cinematic graveyard of 2018’s The VelociPastor. After unearthing this fossilized fever dream, the guys struggle to define what, exactly, they’ve watched—is it horror? Comedy? The missing link between “Dexter” and “Kung Pao: Enter the Fist?” One thing’s for certain: it’s so bad, it’s kind of perfect. Listen in as Nate and Jason recount the saga of a priest who, after a spiritual quest to “China” (read: a handful of backyard trees), gains the power to turn into a dinosaur and fight crime—guided by a wise (and, apparently, wonderful) hooker with a heart of gold. They’ll dissect the movie’s questionable FX, killer one-liners, and the surprising acting chops of a leading lady who might just be the film’s saving grace. Expect hot takes, laugh-out-loud moments, and shamelessly nitpicked movie magic—plus plenty of side-splitting reviews from audiences who either loved this absurdity or couldn’t survive the CGI. Whether you’re a disciple of the “so-bad-it’s-good” genre or just here for the banter, grab your communion wine—err, grape juice—and get ready for a review that’ll leave you howling like an unhinged White Ninja.

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