
Chantell Tilly Anderson and LPC Matt Lasslo dive into forgiveness—why it’s so loaded after trauma, what it is (and isn’t), and how to approach it safely. Matt frames forgiveness as three things: an effort (it takes real work), an act (something you do that changes your body), and an experience (you feel a release—like taking off heavy armor). They bust common myths, including: “forgiveness says what they did was okay,” “I have to let them back in,” “it’s not self-respecting,” and “I don’t need it to heal.” Safety comes first; you never have to re-enter unsafe situations to forgive. They contrast resolution (the person makes it right) with closure (you choose to let go even without repair), and discuss boundaries, accountability, and why you can forgive and still press charges or keep distance.
They explore barriers—language like “unforgivable,” defensiveness, and waiting to heal before forgiving—and offer a reframing: forgiveness helps start healing by putting the event in the past. Research-backed benefits include reduced anxiety/depression, lower blood pressure, better sleep, and overall stress relief. For anyone not ready, they suggest asking, “Why does it feel impossible?”—the answer often points to a myth you can work through. The episode closes with a powerful message: forgiveness is a self-directed way to reclaim power, health, and freedom—one step, one rep, one choice at a time.