Every client has one primary feeling that comes up again & again. For me it's fear, for one of my clients it's sadness, for another it's resentment, and for Fede it's guilt. She feels guilty about not doing enough—for her parents, for her partner, for her lab—when there's no reason for it. Her endless responsibilities are imposed on her by society & circumstance, not chosen by her for love & justice.

And that guilt is the root of the reason she holds herself, and therefore those around her, to such impossibly high standards. That one main feeling dictates her behavior & impedes her progress. But everyone is different, so figure out what that feeling is for you, and let it be your red flag to double-check your own actions & expectations.

This 1:1 coaching session is part of Leadership Coaching for PIs, a scientific career coaching program that includes individual coaching, grant reviews, weekly feedback, and personalized training videos. Learn more at www.kathy.science/faculty. This recording was edited for time, clarity, and privacy.

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