In this season of Toxic Silence, we’ve been exploring how silence can wound us—how unspoken truths, unmet needs, and lost attunement create toxic patterns in our lives. Today’s conversation takes us straight into the heart of that theme.
When we talk about lost attunement, we’re really talking about one of the earliest forms of toxic silence: the silence of a parent who doesn’t respond, mirror, or truly see us. That silence says: your feelings don’t matter, your voice doesn’t matter, you don’t matter. And it leaves a lasting legacy.
For boys, this may show up as hyper-toughness or emotional collapse, carrying unprocessed feelings into adult relationships—sometimes as passivity, resentment, or a split between façade and hidden shame. For girls, it can look like over-performance, constant giving, or waiting for rescue, fantasy, or validation.
Underneath it all lies the same deep longing: a desire to repair the original wound of emotional abandonment. Often, we unconsciously recreate these dynamics in relationships, perpetuating cycles of silence, avoidance, and unspoken pain.
Our guest today is Hawatea Bryson, a powerful therapist and friend who works deeply with couples on these themes. She explores what she calls silent relationships—how lost attunement shows up between partners, keeps us stuck, and what it takes to finally find repair.
In this episode, we discuss:
Because silence shapes us—but when it’s met, named, and transformed, it can also set us free.www.natureknows.co
