More soft dolphin humor. We're upgrading our lives and moving into a blue basement and keeping our heads out of the outhouse.
Ever try to break the record for the most shower tears? This week the boys take a look into some of the weirdest records ever held. Well records, and recorders, and vinyl records. Nate updates your ideas on German fingering, Matt brings you back to the scholastic book fair, and Nate brings it back to science with some space jazz. Did they mean finger as a noun or a verb? Better find out.
Broken hearts unite. Let the candy hearts whisper sweet nothings into your teeth like cavities. We talk heartbreaking sports loss. Heart break in the physical sense like bum bum bum bum under the floorboard, the house has a heartbeat, kind of way. Let your heart riot through the hot topic of your soul. It's emo bangs season, so it's time to eat some roses.
Have you ever been in need of an inflatable dick crown and a black light poster? Well did you forget about the mall? Yes the mall is back folks. This week the boys explore every inch of the now overgrown and abandoned American shopping malls. Maybe we transform them into modern day coliseums? Maybe we keep them around for the Spencers Gifts. Or maybe we go live in the woods until we die from a bear attack. So grab an Orange Julius sit back and relax.
This Is Nothing presents: "Wet," a relevant welcome to February, after a dry(ish) January and all the overflowing moist the green northwest offers this time of year. We ask the question, "does wetness exist? if so, how wet does it have to be to be a liquid?" I guess because it will pool up and spill over a table? There will be time for debate... for the procession of Dingus and puddles of wet laughter.
Are you the top bannana? This week take a deep dive into that crunchy, smooth nut that likes to strut. The humble peanut has been a man, a song, and a legend. The boys explore the legends of the peanut gallery, old timey phrases, a song about dying form a rotten nut, and the man known as Mr.Peanut and his spawn. Got an allergy? Well watch out for the Portland Park Peanut Man.
All three main topics right there in a clever title. How great is that. We're apartment hunting so we're like "hunting... that's a topic," and so we went with it.
Ever wonder if camels get turned on looking at each others humps? This week the boys are taking a break and talk about finally drying out for the new year. Wether it be alcohol, humor, clothes, or deserts, they cover it all this week. Also Bipedal camels, their mummy overlords, N/A cocktails and a whole mess of other delusional details. Hump up the jams its 2023 ya'll.
It's 2023. We discuss the old year and commit to change for the new. There's hot takes on barely relevant this and that, there's a commitment to the almighty Joke, there's a will and there's a way. Thank you for listening to our fun hijinks through the holidays and into this new year. THIS will be our last Monday posting. It's 2023.... Hump Up the Jams. We going hump day fore future reference. New EPs on Wednesday after this one. Love, love.
Whats your favorite satanist Christmas tradition? Well here we are, the gooch of the year and the boys are here to remind you that they had a Christmas episode last year too! Join around the burning fire of their lives as they regale you with improvised Christmas carols, a jaunt couple rounds of tapple, and some final words from your favorite wikipedia piss boys. Ho ho ho the ship is going down!
Have you ever been blinded by the light? You feeling revved up like a deuce? Or is it douche? On this weeks holiday episode the boys stare directly into the sun on an episode all about light. Christmas lights, glowing skin, auras, the strongest light in the world, and a cryptic sleepover game where little girls tell you how you are going to die. Who woulda thought Las Vegas had our ultimate mega weapon against the moth onslaught?
What's your take on office parties? Weirdest white elephant gift? Is Krampus hiding under Santa's robes? Who knows. We don't. One thing about this EP... we're talking about holiday traditions and Jesus Christ's glistening six pack and the way he shrugs while flipping a cigarette into the gutter. It's okay to overshare JC fantasies, we are a safe space for imagining His hair blowing in the wind riding His hog into the sunset. Not to mention that also, once again we are reminded camels are the boats of the desert. Prove us wrong.
Do you need an instant vacation? A sudden Tahiti where your concerns are gone, vanished with the taste of a fresh laugh? Mojito in hand? Boz Scaggs on the one's and two's? Well here we are, two silly boys talking you through a self-help laugh track. A vibrator that surrounds you. An escape pod from your body knots. For tenderizing your tight bits percussively, we present to you This Is Nothing's "Self-Care" episode. Enjoy.
Did you pay your power bill this month? It's that time of year, the autumnal chill leading into the sexual embrace of Turkey and awkward family gatherings. Happy (almost) Thanksgiving our comedy pilgrims. This week the boys take trains, plains, and automobiles to bring you any semblance of comedy wrapped up in unpredictable motor vehicles. A plane that made kamikazes look sane, a car that thinks its a horse, and a car that thinks its a beer can. Any predictions for how your going to explain your new NFT to your parents over stuffed mushrooms? Gobble gobble
Episode 69 (lol nice) is here! Of course we didn't forget, no ma'am, no sir, we tiptoed around the subject until it stared us deadass in the face and hot damn when we got down there it was a gorgeous treat. Are there other meme-able numbers? How clean is the patented Pacific Northwestern sad horniness flowing through the city of Portland these days? Can we ever truly know if you goblins don't continue writing thirsty late night missed connections on Craigslist? Listen in and learn the ways of the mutually upside down heart.
Does a person wear a mustache or does the mustache wear them? We have entered November and as the leaves fall so do the whiskers. This week the boys shave away at that sexy facial grass known as the mustache and or beard. From adult mustache sippy cups to the first beard death ever recorded this episode is shaping up to be quite a becoming look. So shave off some time and take a listen.
What are you doing rowboating away from the enemy? It's the spookiest day of spooky season and gosh are we bad at dealing with ghost situations. First things first let's split up to cover more ground. Next let's drink this random glowing potion. It tastes better in the moonlight. Werewolves are bigger than normal wolves. Have you had your fair share of scary movie scares or are the comically predictable tropes blocking your view of horror? Only Bob Apples knows. We shout at the moon and piss at the stars. It's This is Nothing Halloween 2022. Don't trip when they chase you.
Monster mash me, good buddy! Back at it for spooky season with a veritable cornucopia of monsters and monstrous things. Have you heard that bump in the night? No it's not your Mormon neighbors doing it under the warm gaze of god's light, it's definitely a monster. Don't look under your bed, there might be a glawackus, a pusher, or much much worse... a goofus bird. God help thee away from the torment of the goofus bird. You're in for a roaring good time otherwise.
Have you ever wanted to give birth to a podcast listener? Matt and Nate stumble into the end of the sidewalk this week with a look into the great beyond. What echoes out there? Possibly Count Chocula here to get you off masturbation and into sucking the life out of gods throat. Drugs might be cool but maybe Jim Morrison should have stuck to orange juice while recording the Doors song The End. Also some look into why Game Over just hits different these days. They found the edge of Wikipedia and it sucks, but thats kind of their job anyways.