We are wired to be dependent, to connect, to love, and to feel a sense of belonging.
Phyllis Leavitt is a podcaster, author, and psychotherapist for over three decades. In her book, America in Therapy: A New Approach to Hope and Healing for a Nation in Crisis, she discusses in-depth how abusive family dynamics are playing out in America, especially in politics, and how we can use the best of what we have learned from psychology, Family Systems, and Family Therapy to interrupt the escalating cycle of hatred, divisiveness, and violence, and begin to heal the family of America.
Phyllis Leavitt shares her experience and focuses on healing relationships, both with ourselves and with others. She advocates for applying this within larger institutions to bridge divides, build empathy, and foster understanding. Her approach involves taking personal responsibility, making necessary changes within ourselves, and building deep connections rather than blaming others, which we usually do.
To reconnect with that beautiful person that we were born to be, that innocent baby, people need to heal. When people heal and find that inner essence, and connect to it, they have a source of love and understanding that they bring into the world around them. Healing on an individual level is deeply connected to the broader societal context and the only way to make this world a better place is to start from ourselves.
Love and connection, among many other positive things, are essential for human well-being. When we lack these, we feel unwell.
Notes:
🔗 Unhealed trauma, models, and values of the people we grow up with—all the groups that affect family dynamics and us. 02:05
🤔 Healing her trauma helped Phyllis realize that people don’t understand what is going on with them. 05:19
⭐ The more we heal individually, the more we bring love and attention to the people around us and to society. 10:41
2️⃣ Learned helplessness and identifying with the aggressors are two patterns that we are experiencing as a society. 12:42
⚠️ The stigma around needing another human being for help is specifically tied to mental health: we all need love and support. 18:18
🤯 Adopting trauma to survive and not knowing how to move from the behavioral patterns. 22:03
🔁 Attraction to the familiar: abuse creates a feeling of disliking dependency. 25:32
🌺 Allow yourself to get help and depend on help to heal: the power of random kindness and the ripple effect of our behavior. 28:18
Links:
Website: www.phyllisleavitt.com