Unfortunately, many human relationships descend into an arduous and exhausting state that can only be characterized as a protracted tug of war.  Each side, firmly convinced of their rightness, digs in their heels and pulls against the other with all their might, convinced that their strength, their ego, their superior resources will win the contest.  

Marriages are especially prone to this dynamic.  

Writing during a time when husbands exercised tremendous legal and financial advantages over their wives, it is striking that Paul enjoins husbands to follow Christ's example by embarking upon a path of servanthood and downward mobility.  He says their leadership comes not from flexing their muscles and demanding their rights, but rather by laying down their lives in self-sacrifice.  And he tells them to follow the same pattern in the way they treat their children and slaves. (Sadly, slavery was an entrenched feature of the Roman Empire.)

But the bigger picture here is Paul's message that marriage is meant to be a picture of the passionate, intimate, sacrificial love that God has for his people.  Not content to have mere servants doing his bidding, the Creator invites his creatures into a deep, mystical union with him, so much so that "the two will become one". (Ephesians 5:31)