You discover your dad practicing your eulogy.
Your father's hiding place for his guns is the backpack you wear to school every day.
Your math tutor is part of a work-release program.
The only parental blocks on your computer are suicide prevention websites.
Rather than the Cub Scouts, your parents have you join the Crips.
Although they won't allow you to have a dog of your own, they do encourage you to stay out late and play with packs of strays.
They get you a summer job as a drug mule.
Your mom still cuts your hair, working on yet another voodoo doll.