The Secret to Better Relationships: From Defensiveness to Curiosity

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The Way of The Confident Husband - Chuck Chapman, M.A.

Chuck Chapman, M.A.

114 episodes

1 month ago

The Confident Husband Podcast is for the man who’s done settling. If you’re tired of feeling disconnected in your marriage, confused by your wife’s needs, or unsure how to lead without controlling or caretaking—this podcast is for you. I’m Chuck Chapman, a licensed professional counselor, a men’s relationship expert and creator of The Confident Husband Solution. After 20,000+ hours working with men, I’ve seen the patterns that keep us stuck—and I’ve built the roadmap to help you lead with strength, presence, and purpose. Each week, we dive into what it really means to be a husband, how to rebuild trust, reignite intimacy, and take full ownership of your life and marriage—without losing yourself in the process. Real tools, real stories, and real transformation. Because your marriage won’t change until you do. Let’s do the work—together.

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The Secret to Better Relationships: From Defensiveness to Curiosity

The Way of The Confident Husband - Chuck Chapman, M.A.

9 minutes

2 months ago

The Secret to Better Relationships: From Defensiveness to Curiosity

Transform Conflict with Curiosity: Moving Beyond Defensiveness in Relationships

This episode delves into the concept of defensiveness in relationships and its impact on connection. The speaker shares personal experiences and professional insights to illustrate how defensiveness can escalate conflicts by protecting one's ego, rather than the relationship. Instead, the speaker advocates for using curiosity as an antidote to defensiveness. By asking open-ended questions and seeking to understand the other person's perspective, we can create a safer space for both parties. This approach helps in de-escalating tension and fostering empathy, ultimately strengthening the relationship. Practical steps and real-life examples are provided to guide listeners in applying these principles to their own conflicts.

00:00 Understanding Defensiveness in Relationships
01:12 The Physical and Emotional Response to Defensiveness
02:36 The Power of Curiosity as an Antidote
06:15 Practical Steps to Replace Defensiveness with Curiosity
06:58 Real-Life Application and Final Thoughts