Helping others', while being positioned as virtuous and good for society, is often detrimental.  When someone has a fundamental piece of their identity as a 'helper' this is usually a mechanism to either get out of the hard work, avoid being seen, OR an attempt to get brownie points for being a 'good guy' or 'good girl'.  The Uncomfortable truth is that while positioned as virtuous, 'helping others' may actually be cowardice.  Often the hardest thing is to step out and be seen as your true self, and therefore it can be an act of hiding to place the focus on others. In this episode, we build the argument that the most constructive and selfless thing you can do, is ironically focusing on being the best version of yourself, and to focus on your own life. We look at some examples of this mechanism playing out, the main mistakes people make, and some ways to navigate this impulse if it arises.