Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre "Narcissism because of Sex Addiction - Yuk! That's not me". Many clients initially (but silently and violently) object to any suggestion that there is Narcissism at work. I am never suggesting they have NPD (Narcissist Personality Disorder), but that they WILL have traits from Narcissism. Here is one definition of Narcissism which I use: "Narcissism is the way we conceptualise how we will look afte...

Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Developmental history from childhood The phase of childhood from birth to age 6 is a critical time of sensitivity, during which time, templates are created which shape future interpersonal interactions. During this sensitive period of development, a child acquires a variety of new abilities and skills that are a necessary part of child development. There are five sensitive period categories, which includ...

Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Sex Addiction is different to Porn Addiction. Sex & Porn Addiction are different to Love Addiction. They all get set up in 3 ways: 1. Opportunity: Material accessed too early in childhood development 2. Trauma: Just as it says on the label of the can! But make trauma age-related and its impact on the immature developing brain, not what is going on in wars between Russia & Ukraine, Israel & Ha...

Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre The report found that 58% of respondents had seen violent pornography, including strangulation and rape scenes, before age 18, with girls more likely than boys to witness such content. Children are exposed to increasingly extreme online pornography, with concerns that new restrictions may be easily circumvented through VPNs. Worry was expressed, that even with new rules, users could bypass restrictions, ...

Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre "It was aged....and I came across my [parents] stash of porn. I kept going back to view when they were out and took a few to my my room. They never knew". That is the very typical answer that I have been given by a large percentage of my adult clients when taking them through my History Taking Questionnaire. I ask them 188 questions over three 50 minutes sessions and their answers help me and them to bui...

Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Newspaper headline: "Joe is 10 years old and he is on The Sex offenders register and he has not yet kissed a girl". How can that be? Is that really true? Surely not! Ok my goodness! Even though that is not in the content of her Report, here is what the Children's Commissioner - Dame Rachel de Souza - says in the foreword of her Report, dated 19 August 2025: "Shockingly, as this report highlights, pornogr...

Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Put these tools into your armoury of resources to help you communicate more effectively: John Grays 'Men are from mars and women are from Venus' is still worth a read. Also (although a somewhat provocative title) 'Men don't listen and women can't read maps' - is worth reading. Both books remind us that there is a difference between how masculinity and femininity communicate. There is a big difference bet...

Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Sex addict, your body demeanour is going to give you away. Know the facts about the body and how you main have trained it to 'tell on you'! When we first meet someone we form a very strong impression of them within the first 40 seconds. We form a lasting opinion of them within the first 4 minutes. Our opinion will influence the way in which we respond and behave towards that person until something happen...

Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre When we are communicating, the information is passing through the filters of the different structures of the brain. Sex Addiction does damage the brain and so, damages the filters. We all have filters. The message being transmitted is going through the receiver, but the receiver has filters and that means the message can come out the other end looking very different to what went in and was received. A da...

Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre "A friend asks, "Tell me one word which is significant in any kinds of relationship." Another friend says, "LISTEN!" — Santosh Kalwar As we continue to Repair broken communication in the couple because of Sex/Porn/Love Addiction trauma damage - recognise there is a big difference between Listening and Hearing. Sometimes we need to think outside of the box. Often we need a little help to see h...

Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Remember our foundational question: 'Do you enter a conversation to be understood or to understand?' Communication is like a bicycle wheel. Picture the two of you riding along the road to your destination, but not getting very far because both wheels on your tandem bicycle are buckled. You will get to your destination, but not very fast and it is taking more effort to cover the distance. Now let’s ...

Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre "Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable." — David Augsburger Listening effectively is a very valuable gift to someone. It is costly. It values the other person. It is learned and must be practiced. There is a difference between hearing and listening. Listening means that the information stops in the brain and is processed and digested. ...

Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre We are continuing to look at Couples Counselling to 'Repair' the Sex, Porn, Love Addiction relationship damage. Let's focus on 'Communication'. "The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them." — Ralph Nichols. Communication is way more than words that come out of mouths. Do you enter conversations to be understo...

Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Human beings have a life cycle. Let’s take a look. (The last two stages are not governed by age). Infant (Birth to 2 years): Changes in schedules, bedtime, routines new people around - can cause anxiety during this phase. Child (3 to 9 years): Social skills are developing, particularly from interaction with other children. Separation anxiety is visible as children begin school attendance. Adolescent (10...

Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Split agendas and contrary motives - that are hidden from each other. Is that you? Jake & Jasmine on the seesaw of life, illustrates it. There are appearances, but below the surface of the relationship may be there is entrenched Emotional Disengagement. Couples engage in a dance for years, re-acting and counter re-acting to each others actions and inactions. A dance. A dance which keeps being played ...

Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Let's continue our look at 'Repairing the damaged couples relationship, post Sex Addiction'. Does that image of the mules describe your relationship? of course not you, but your partner! Each trying to get their needs met. Those Core Emotional Needs. Remember that Core Emotional Needs are not negotiable. They want to be met and Fight/Flight/ Freeze will play out where they have been depleted for so...

Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Building new foundations for the couple: Take a look at the Different Relationship Images document attached to this Podcast. I try to bypass language as much as possible. Feelings do not always tell the truth. We can be very English. Very British! Question: "How are you today". Answer: "I'm fine thank you". Observation after the automatic response: "I notice you are on strong pain-killers and on crutches...

Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Couples counselling is not necessarily about keeping a couple together at all. All about exploring options. Also to help you both gain insight and understanding about self and how you do life, as an individual. Whether a Partnership or a marriage, these things are true: “Marriage is not the coming together of two people. It’s a clash of two cultures, two experiences, two memories, two habits, two m...

Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Shaped by circumstances from birth Picture the new born baby which starts life with innocence and a brain with few impressions. It starts to experience life and living and soon the brain has some impressions and templates being carved out. Good and not so good experiences and impressions. A distorted image develops. The individual distorted image of a male coming with his own unique impressio...

Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Highs and lows of the Couples relationship is a given. What impacts you, may not impact a partner and vice versa. Childhood development personality and characteristic sharping experiences, play a significant part in that process. Sex Addicts need to take their shoes off and step into the shoes of a partner in order to see the relationship from the partner's vantage point and perspective. All clients with...