I had the absolute gift of a conversation with Dr. Doug Bolton—clinical psychologist, educational leader, and just an all-around wise, compassionate soul. We talked about something we both care deeply about: supporting kids who are struggling beneath the behavior.

Doug has spent 25+ years walking alongside kids with emotional and behavioral challenges, and his insights hit me right in the nervous system. In this conversation, he reminds us that regulation is everything—and that so many behaviors we try to fix are actually signs of pain, often rooted in early adversity.

He shared the Circle of Courage—a powerful framework that names four core human needs: belonging, mastery, independence, and generosity. When those needs aren’t met, kids let us know. Not with words, but with their bodies, their big feelings, their pushback. Sounds about right ;)

And Doug? He’s all about connection over control. Repair over punishment. Curiosity instead of consequences. (YES PLEASE.)

We also talked about how overparenting and overscheduling can backfire, and how unstructured play is not optional—it’s where real growth and regulation happen.

Doug’s upcoming book "Untethered" is going to be such a gift for parents and educators. It’s not just about managing behavior—it’s about creating spaces where kids feel safe, seen, and able to thrive.

If you'd like to buy Doug's book, you can do so here: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/735689/untethered-by-doug-bolton-phd/